Partied Hard Jokes
31 partied hard jokes and hilarious partied hard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about partied hard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Partied Hard Short Jokes
Short partied hard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The partied hard humour may include short party jokes also.
- How do you know when you partied too hard last night at the drive-in movies? You wake up in a flea market.
- Guy asks his friend: "I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?" Friend: "Did you just assume my bender?!"
- Germany has a vegan party that consist of nearly 1% of its votes. Its not going to grow much larger though. It's hard for them to get much work done. They never meet.
- How did the Christian support group warn Chris Tucker about the hazardous weather conditions as he drove to the 'Die Hard' costume party? 'Slippy Highway, Brother Tucker'
- My mum always said, "Work hard, party harder". But since I work in a party shop, that advice just leaves me confused.
- What did the man say at his bachelor party when his #1 groomsman won at Hide and Seek? A best man is hard to find.
- What do a party next door and Shakespeare have in common? Could be a group, or just one person. And you can't understand what they're saying no matter how hard you try.
- I hear U.S military bases in the Middle East party hard. The soldiers there are always taking shots.
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Partied Hard One Liners
Which partied hard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with partied hard? I can suggest the ones about working hard and holiday party.
- A knight used to party hard He was called Sir Dancelot
- I wrote a Haiku Poetry is hard
Like Mr. Jared Fogle
At a kid's party - Was invited to a birthday party last evening but didn't have a Blast. Hardly any Bombs!
- Partied so hard last night I spilled Kool-Aide on my c**... Punchline
Happy Partied Hard Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about partied hard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cocktail party jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make partied hard pranks.
The night before the wedding
The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.
"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.
"7-Up, because he's got seven inches and he can keep it up. What about you?"
"Mountain Dew. He knows how to mount and do me. And what about the future Mrs. Johnson? What kind of soda is Matt?"
"Jack Daniels," said the bride proudly.
"But that's not a soda! Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!" protested her friends.
The bride looked at them and said, "Girls, why do you think I'm marrying him?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's hard to figure out a politically correct term to refer to a gender reveal party, without referring to the baby's binary gender.
In retrospect though, sending out invites to my "Baby s**... Party" probably wasn't a good idea
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My American Clock
A Russian immigrant comes to America, works hard and is able to buy for his very first home, a condominium apartment. So he throws an all night party with his friends to celebrate. One of his guests notices a hammer and a large metal p**... next to one of the walls.
What is that for? he asks.
His host says That is my talking American clock.
Really?...How does it work?
I will show you.
The host takes the metal p**..., places it next to the wall and bangs on it with the hammer till the next door neighbor yells: It's three o'clock in the morning you idiot!
I once met Bruce Willis
I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... amnesia
Being new parents my wife and usually have our s**... times while extremely tired. This results in one or more parties not fully remembering the previous nights events. So here is the conversation I had with my wife today.
W - do you remember having s**... last night?
M - only the last 30 seconds or so
W - you remember the whole thing then...
I laughed so hard I couldn't even be mad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Toy Story's Buzz and w**... would make a great team at a party.
It'd come in handy to be able to get hard when you're drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jack and Sue
The manager of a company has to make a hard choice, whether or fire Jack or Sue. They are both superb workers, but the company has been running into hard times.
The manager decides that whomever drinks from the cooler first will be laid off the following morning.
Sue, who always comes in bright and early, had a horrible hangover from partying to hard last night, and goes to the fountain to drink some water with her advil.
The manager walks up to her, sighs and tells her, "Sue, I'm sorry. I either have to lay you or j**...."
Turning to face the manager, Sue smiles and says, "Please just j**..., my head is killing me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde wants to prove to people that she's not just a dumb blonde.
So she asks her friend, "How could I show people I'm smart?"
Her friend says, "Well- you could start by learning all the provinces and their capitals."
The blonde spends the whole week learning them. It's hard, but she knows it will be worth it when people see how smart she is.
The next week she's at a party and a man asks a question. Full of confidence, the blonde says, "I know the answer!"
The man is sceptical, but she says, "I'll have you know I'm not just a dumb blonde, I know all the provinces and their capitals."
He says, "Okay, what's the capital of Saskatchewan?"
She grins and says, "Easy. S!"
The Perks of Being Rich
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me! That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, He's very rich. Marry him. That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me. That's Telemarketing.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, I'm rich. Marry me! She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback.
Jokes so Bad that They're Funny
The midget psychic broke out of prison. He was a small medium at large.
A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
Newspaper headline reads: Cartoonist found dead at home. Details are sketchy.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.
Here's a poem by a dog (Bo Burnham): Roses are grey, violets are another shade of grey, let's go chase cars.
The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late? A cold shoulder.
(I'll see myself out.)
A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State
A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims
"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"
The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues;
"As you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in exactly 8 years"
The humble farmer then signals to the official to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping through for some time he finally says;
"Morning or afternoon?"
The party official is rather offended, and remarks "comrade, you are being given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what does it matter if its morning or afternoon?"
To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..."
Four college students partied hard one night.....
...and woke up late the next day, the day of their finals, so they went to their principal and apologized saying they visited an orphanage and on their way back their car's tire got punctured and they had to push it all the way back home......
The principal thought of giving them a second chance and said they can come in tomorrow and appear for the test.
Next day, they all appear having prepared hard the last night. The principal puts each of them in a different room with invigilators, and hands them their question paper,..
1. What is today's date ? [2 marks]
2. Which tire got punctured ? [98 marks]
Three old ladies are boasting about their children.
One says:
"I am so proud of my son! He worked very hard to become a lawyer, and now he is very successful, earning a lot of money. But he is also very generous. Recently, he just gave one of his fiends a brand new ferrari as a present!"
The other says:
"I am very proud of my son as well. He has started a company, worked very hard, and now he is a president of a large corporation. Be he is very generous too, recenty he gave one of his friends a villa on the rivera!"
The third one sighs:
"I wish I could be proud of my son, but he achieved nothing. He is lazy and only goes to parties. And I also found out that he is gay. But I don't know where he gets the money, but he always seems to have plenty, and recently someone gave him a new ferrari and a villa at the riviera as a present".
So I have this friend Jonathan...
Jon's been on a bit of a dry spell with the ladies lately. I suppose I should tell you a bit about Jonathan. He's a bit hard of hearing, but the ladies still love him despite that and his slightly diminutive stature, probably because he's usually the life of the party, buying drinks, etc. Anyway, back to the problem at hand.
We went to lunch the other day at a nice, quiet cafe. We started chatting about the usual, work, sports, whatever, but it came clear that Jon actually had invited me to give him some advice. He told me about his dry spell and of course I wanted to get to the root of the problem. A few minutes pass in silence. Finally, I ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
"WHAT?"
(Oh right, the hearing thing) "I said, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?"
"OK!"
"WHY DO YOU KEEP GETTING TURNED DOWN?"
"TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT!?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You Passionate
Guy I work with tells this story of working on the road, being hard up, and deciding to pick up this h**.... Of course she is not the classiest of broads and a little strung out. She gets in the car and they talk about going back to the motel room to party, but she wants to stop at the liquor store first. "Oh yeah, baby, no problem."
So they're driving down the road getting frisky and talking dirty and this girl is a freak. Squirming all around in her seat and rubbing her hands all up and down his leg and across his junk. She is n**.... She says, "Sugar, you passionate."
"Oh yeah! I'm passionate, alright. I am gonna do you so good, you're gonna have to pay me."
"No sugar! You passionate! You pash'n the liquor sto!"