Particle Jokes

80 particle jokes and hilarious particle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about particle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you interested in physics and particle theory? Check out this article for some funny particle jokes! Learn about subatomic particles, hadrons, electrons, and bosons, and get a few laughs along the way. Perfect for those looking to have a bit of lighthearted fun while learning something new.

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Funniest Particle Short Jokes

Short particle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The particle humour may include short atom jokes also.

  1. ...and the bartender said: we don't serve hypothetical faster-than-light particles here! A tachyon walks into a bar...
  2. A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church The Priest says " you can't be here!". The particle replies "you can't have mass without me
  3. A Higgs-boson particle goes into a church. The vicar says, "We don't want your sort in here!"
    The Higgs-boson particle says
    "But you can't have mass without me!"
  4. The bartender says: "I'm sorry, but we don't serve FTL particles." A tachyon walks into a bar.
  5. My professor just said that the particle of light is like a bullet... The black objects absorb more.
  6. The waiter says: Sorry, we don't serve particles faster than light. A superluminal particle walks into a bar.
  7. A bartender says "Hey! We don't serve faster-than-light particles here!" A tachyon flies into a bar.
  8. A Higgs Boson walks into a Church They are aghast.
    The priest says, "You!! You claim to be a god particle. Your kind are not allowed here."
    HB replies, "Then how do you have mass?"
  9. The bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light-particles in here. A tachyon walks into a bar.
  10. The Barman says, "We don't serve superluminal particles in here." A tachyon walks into a bar.

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Particle One Liners

Which particle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with particle? I can suggest the ones about pixel and pong.

  1. A particle walks into a bar, but nobody is there. So he waves.
  2. Is light a wave? Is it a particle? It depends on how you look at it
  3. What do you call a recently created sub-atomic particle? New-tron.
  4. What did the photon particle say as it traveled past? Nothing, it just waved
  5. A particle goes into a bar with exactly 20 km/h We don't know where it is anymore.
  6. What's a particle physicist's favourite cocktail? A Large Hadron Colada.
  7. What did the subatomic particle do when he saw the bus was about to leave? He lepton!
  8. Science/nre joke What particles in a reactor are the happiest?
    Delayed neutrons.
  9. What is the cuddliest particle known to science? The HUGS boson!
  10. there's a debate over whether light is a particle or wave. it's very polarizing
  11. What do you call an unexperienced particle? An amateuron.
  12. Atomic Particles I just lost an atomic particle. I'm positive.
  13. Why is the Higgs Boson called "the god particle?" Because it gives us mass
  14. Alpha particles are cool and all, but... Single electrons are beta
  15. I'm gonna be honest with you... Particle accelerators give me a hadron.

Particle Collider Jokes

Here is a list of funny particle collider jokes and even better particle collider puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If we could put bread in a particle collider... We could discover new quarks and glutons.
  • How fast are the particles in the Large Hadron Collider going? Super cern-ic
  • What's the difference between a particle accelerator and Donald Trump? One is a large hadron collider and the other is a small hard-on colluder
  • What do particle physicists like to drink? Pina colliders.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.

Particle Accelerator Jokes

Here is a list of funny particle accelerator jokes and even better particle accelerator puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard that CERN particle accelerator can create a huge black hole and destroy the planet. This make me a little conCERNed.
    Eddit. The situation is accelerating if you know what I mean.
  • Did you know that corks come from trees? Son-"Hey dad, did you know that corks come from trees?
    Dad- "No son, Quarks come from particle accelerators"
  • Ok guys I have a confession.... Particle accelerators give me a hadron....
Particle joke, Ok guys I have a confession....

Particle Physics Jokes

Here is a list of funny particle physics jokes and even better particle physics puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard that they're coming up with a new Tron movie which deals with particle physics... Its called new-Tron.
  • Particle physics joke The bartender yells, "We don't serve your kind here!"
    A tachyon walks into a bar.
  • How did Professor Duck explain particle physics to his class? Quark quark.
  • Particle physics gives me a hadron
Particle joke, Particle physics

Ridiculous Particle Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about particle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean protein jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make particle pranks.

I saw a doctor's office that does proton therapy.

I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

So a Higgs Boson particle goes into a catholic church

And it gets stopped at the door by the bishop.
The bishop says, "Sir, I can't allow you in here."
"What? Why?" the particle responds.
"You call yourself the 'God particle.' That's blasphemy against our Lord."
"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. Before I go, though, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah sure," the bishop responds. "Might as well."
"So," the Higgs Boson begins, "if you don't allow me in here, how do you have mass?"

Maybe not "particle-ularily" funny...

So a priest walks into his church and sees a Higgs boson particle hanging around; says "what are you doing here?" the particle says "I've always been here - you can't have mass without me..."

A higgs boson particle walks into the Vatican

The Pope says, "you call yourself the God particle! Your blasphemy is not welcome here, get out!"
The higgs boson particle says "but you can't have mass without me."

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church

The preacher says "We don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here!"
The Higgs Boson particle says "If you don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here, how do you have mass?"

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

The priest says ''We don't allow you in here- you call yourself the God particle- that's sacrilegious!''
The Higgs Boson particle responds, ''Hey, if you don't allow the Higgs Boson particle, how do you have Mass?''

How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Assuming it takes place in a vacuum, approximating the lightbulb as a point particle, Assuming it takes place at precisely 300 K, and ignoring the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle: π/3

The bartender says "we don't serve particles that disrupt time flow!"

A tachyon particle walks into a bar.......

Why are d**... like quantum particles

Measuring them changes the result

A team of particle physicists ran an experiment for the entire year,

and the detector reported exactly fifty two events which they were looking for. They published a research paper called "Weekly interacting particles".

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

"You can't be here" says the pastor
The Higgs Boson particle responds
"But with out me, how can you have mass?!"

Why don't Dark Matter particles have s**... tapes?

Because no one sees them coming.

Did you hear the one about the subatomic particle that refused to pay the bus fare?

It just lepton.

I heard there's a guy that destroyed a group of Higgs Boson particles.

He's a mass m**....

Yo moma is so s**.......

she could observe the particles in the double slit experiment and still get an interference pattern

A quantum object turns from wave to a particle...

"It's just a prank bro! Look, there's the observer!!"

2 scientists see atoms for the first time.

Scientist 1: So everything is made up of these tiny particles?
Scientist 2: I guess so.
Scientist 1: What should we call the things they make up?
Scientist 2: Why name it? It doesn't seem that important to me.
Scientist 1: Are you sure? Cause I think it all Matters.

Chinese physicists have discovered long, hard, negatively-charged particles.

They call them erectrons.

I come from a family of scientists who share the surname 'Matter.' We all get along, just like the particles we study.

Except for my Auntie Matter.

I've been calibrating my new device which measures the electric charge of subatomic particles by testing it on Protons

So far, the results have been positive.

Scientists in Germany Have Discovered a New Particle That Can Only Exist By Absorbing Joy

It's no laughing matter

Two particles are trapped in a field

One particle says to the other "I got you some flowers, you may have them if you quantum"

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man stand around a piece of fruit.
When asked what the fruit is, the philosopher says We can never know what this piece of fruit truly is. We assume, through wisdom, that the form of the fruit is closest to our perceptions of the fruit .
The physicist states: Truly there is no fruit. The fruit is simply the interaction of fundamental forces and unseeable particles colliding through time until the fruit is formed .
The Common Man replies: It's an apple.

A Higgs Boson particle showed up at church one day. The priest yelled, hey we don't serve your kind here.

The Higgs Boson particle said, but you can't have mass without me.

I once overheard two physicists debating over the mass of subatomic particles..

They were mass-debating

What's a ferrous particle's favorite constellation?

I think I made this joke up, but I'm sure the internet will know.

I wrote this joke just for this sub, because people wrongly complain there are never any original jokes here: What's a ferrous particle's favorite constellation?


Scientists have discovered the sub-atomic particle that confers density.

They've called it the m**....

My 8 year old son wants to be a comedian.

He also like quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some jokes. Here's the first two.
What so you call a particle who likes taking pictures?
A photongrapher
Why did the apple fall out of the tree?
It ran out of gluons.
If you have any Similar he'd love to hear them and add them to his repertoire.

Particle joke, Is light a wave? Is it a particle?

jokes about particle