Parrot Talk Jokes
37 parrot talk jokes and hilarious parrot talk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parrot talk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Parrot Talk Short Jokes
Short parrot talk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parrot talk humour may include short parrot tells jokes also.
- My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke: I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry", so it died.
- Darling, what happened to the parrot? – Darling, what happened to the parrot?
– I dunno, Mommy, but I heard the cat talking. - Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off! - Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
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Parrot Talk One Liners
Which parrot talk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parrot talk? I can suggest the ones about parrot and parrot up.
- What's smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee
- I had a parrot that talked . . . but it never said, "I'm hungry." So it died.
- I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say "I'm hungry." So it died.
- I once had a parrot that couldn't talk... He died.
- I keep trying to sell my talking parrot Because it keeps trying to sell me
- What does a parrot named Larry talk about? Vocabulary
Ridiculous Parrot Talk Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about parrot talk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pet parrot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parrot talk pranks.
A frightened man came to the KGB. "My talking parrot has disappeared."
"That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police."
"Excuse me, of course I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."
A burglar broke into a home…
He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.
Again, "Jesus is watching you."
He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking.
The parrot said, "Yes."
He asked the parrot his name.
The parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name their parrot, Moses?"
The parrot replied, "The same kind of people who would name their pitbull Jesus."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke
A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.
At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.
The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman buys a talking parrot that belonged to a brothel house before.She takes the parrot home:
"Oh, new brothel, new dames...cooool ".After a while the daughters come home. The parrot:" Oh, new brothel, new h**......cooool. "After a while husband comes home. The parrot: "oh, new brothel, new h**..., old friends...hello Bob."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My ex and her parrot.
My ex had a talking parrot. This large kind with curved beak and multicolored feathers.
That disgusting creature talked all day and night never shutting its mouth!
And the parrot had to listen to all that c**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Burglar breaks into a house
Burglar breaks in. Immediately hears a voice say "Jesus sees you". He looks around to figure out who was talking to him. Frustrated he yells " Who is it? Who are you?" "I am moses", answers someone. Spotting the source of the voice, he finds Moses, a parrot. Burglar angrily asks "Which idiot named a parrot Moses?" Parrot answers "Same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus, RIP".
I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.
I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.
Seller: 500$ for this parrot
Guy: 500$ HERE.
Voice in background: 1000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 1000$ going 1st..
Guy: 1100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 5000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 5000$ going twice....
Guy: 5100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 25.000 HE-RE.
Guy: 25.100 HERE.
Seller: Sold!!
Guy: I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out he can't talk!!!
Auctioneer: Dont worry he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?
Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.
A man goes to the FBI head office
A frightened man goes to the FBI head office and says, My talking parrot disappeared.
Why did you come here? Go to the regular police, said the front desk.
The man replied: I will. I'm just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A parrot flies into a bar and says "I'll have a coconut r**..., please." A patron nearby exclaims "Hey look, a talking parrot!"
Then he realizes, "Oh yeah, parrots can talk."
Geography teacher dropped this dad joke on us in the middle of class
Context: talking about permafrost. They way vegetation thaws out is called polygons (cause they look like them)
So he says: on the exam if I ask what polygons are... I'm asking about the permafrost ground. Not a dead parrot!
I think I'm too tired cause I laughed way too hard!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL an African grey parrot, who lives an incredibly long life, can learn up to the vocabulary of an 8 year old.
So when do you have the s**... talk?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pirate pick-up lines
I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest.
Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.
See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.
Nice p**... deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?
Avast, me pretty! Strike your p**... and prepare to be boarded.
I've hidden b**... all over the Caribbean — but never have I seen one like yours!
That's NOT my parrot talking, Sweetie!
That's a lovely pair of 8-pounders you have there.
My peg-leg's ribbed for your pleasure.
Why not climb my main mast and I'll visit your crow's nest.
One day a man went to an auction.
While
there, he bid on a parrot.
He really wanted this bird, so he got caught
up in the bidding.
He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so
he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intend-
ed, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to
the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can
talk.
I would hate to have paid this much for it, only
to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer. "He can
talk.
Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
A burglar sneaks into a house one night...
As he was looking for valuables he heard someone say "Jesus is watching you".
Shocked, he turns on his flashlight and sees a parrot. He asks the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot says "Yes". Amused, the burglar asks the parrot its name, to which the parrot replies "Moses".
The burglar is surprised, and asks "What kind of people names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot looks at the pair of glowing eyes behind the robber and says, "The same kind of people who names their pitbull Jesus."
P.s. Sorry for sucky English.
Parrot Joke
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
A lady went to an auction...
And was smitten by a beautiful parrot for sale and decided that she must own this gorgeous bird! When the bird came up for sale, the auctioneer asked, "How much am I bid for this parrot?" and the lady bid with "Seven hundred dollars". "Eight hundred!" "Eighty hundred fifty!" "Nine hundred fifty!" go the next several bids, and the lady bid "One thousand dollars!" Bidding goes on this way for several minutes until she found herself the proud owner of an parrot for $1500.
She approached the auctioneer and asked him "Can the bird talk?" to which the auctioneer replied "Lady, who do you think was bidding against you?"
Cheap parrot
A woman decides she wants to buy a pet so she heads down to the local pet store. After a bit of browsing, she fixes her attention on a lovely talking parrot on sale for only $10. The clerk tells her the parrot's going cheap because it used to live in a house of ill repute so it may not be the most family friendly of pets. Thinking this deal is too good to pass up, she buys it without hesitation.
She gets home and places the parrot near the entrance. The parrot looks around and says, "New house, new madame!" The woman is startled by this but laughs it off. Later, her two teenage daughters get home, the parrot looks at them and remarks, "New house, new madame, new prostitutes!" The girls are shocked by this but after some explaining by the mom, they all laugh it off. The woman is delighted and eagerly awaits her husband so she can see what his reaction will be.
The husband arrives moments later. The parrot looks at him and says,"Hello Keith!"
Jesus is watching you.
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".
An illusionist was employed to entertain the guests of a cruise ship.
He had a handful of good tricks he performed quite well and because there was a new audience every other week or so, he didn't have to worry about coming up with new ones. The trouble came when the Captain's talking parrot, after watching the same show time and time again, started to figure the tricks out and then proceed to ruin the shows by shouting out loud things like: - There's a mirror on the side of that box! He's hiding the card up his sleeve! and so on. The illusionist was outraged but could not do anything to the Capitan's beloved pet.One unfortunate night the ship sunk. All that was left was a lifeboat with the parrot on one end, and the illusionist, on the other end, giving the bird occasional spiteful looks. After two days of drifting, during which the parrot wouldn't take his suspecting look off the angry but exhausted man, the bird finally exclaimed: OK, OK, I GIVE UP !!! WHERE IS THE SHIP ???!!!
