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Parrot Jokes

167 parrot jokes and hilarious parrot puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about parrot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you ready for some hilarious parrot jokes? These jokes will have you roaring with laughter at the pirate parrot, the boss parrot, and the non-veg parrot that loves to tell us jokes. Learn about parrots and their perch, finches and budgies, and why the parrot is always up for a joke. Get ready for a good laugh!

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Funniest Parrot Short Jokes

Short parrot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parrot humour may include short budgie jokes also.

  1. My parrot was just diagnosed with an STD. Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.
  2. My obese parrot died recently. It's been really sad, but it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
  3. A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"
    "Africa", says the parrot.
  4. A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
    The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"
  5. So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
    "Africa!", says the parrot.
  6. A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar... The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"
    "Africa" said the parrot
  7. A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. "Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."
  8. A black dude walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bar tender goes "Awesome, Where'd you get that?"
    The parrot replies "Africa, there's thousands of them there."
  9. I once dated a girl, who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut up. The parrot was cool though.
  10. I'm really worried about my Parrot. He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".
    My room-mate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.

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Parrot One Liners

Which parrot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parrot? I can suggest the ones about cockatoo and peacock.

  1. Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Eeeeee....
  2. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
  3. Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
  4. My obese parrot just died. I'm very sad but it is a huge weight off my shoulders.
  5. My parrot got so fat that it died. It's a huge weight off my shoulder.
  6. Did you hear about the geometry teacher who left his parrot's cage open? Polygon.
  7. Two parrots were sitting on a perch One says to the other... Do you smell fish?
  8. My geometry teacher is really upset that her pet parrot died yesterday. Polly gone.
  9. I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me. I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me
  10. I won my first cage match last night... The parrot never knew what hit it...
  11. What's smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee
  12. So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night... NOTSONINJA
  13. My obese parrot died. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.
  14. I glued a picture of my deceased parrot onto my boomerang. It brings back good memories.
  15. What did the math teacher say when the parrot escaped? Polygon

Parrot Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny parrot up jokes and even better parrot up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
    The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"
  • I'm really tired of seeing "treat your pets like a member of your family" parroted all over the internet. I would never treat my pets that badly.
  • A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?" The parrot responded, saying, "there are millions of them running around in Africa."
  • A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks him, "Where did you get that thing?"
    Parrot says, "Africa."
  • A black man enters a bar... with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said;
    - That's cool! Where did you get that?
    - In Africa, replied the parrot.
  • I keep reading about all these patriots, draped in bright colors and repeating exactly what is said to them, though without any real understanding. Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
  • My obese parrot just died. I am devastated, but at the same time it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
  • After my friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow. I also taught it to say, "Dave, it's your brother. reincarnation is real!"
  • A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "Where'd ya get it?"
    The parrot says, "Africa."
    (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)
  • My aunt's parrot can say over 30 phrases, but each one is offensive and belittling. I say parrot, it's actually more of a mockingbird.

Pet Parrot Jokes

Here is a list of funny pet parrot jokes and even better pet parrot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together!
    Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing
  • What did the mathematician say about the death of his pet parrot? "Polynomial. Polygon."
  • So this Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says, 'nice pet, where'd you get him?' and the parrot says, 'France, they got a million of 'em!'
  • My pet parrot died of obesity. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.
  • I saw a pet store named "Casablanca" The sign read "We'll always have parrots"
  • Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot? ...because he was using too much fowl language
  • A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap? "Because this s**... parrot keeps reposting c**... jokes" said the pet store employee.
  • I'm sad to announce that my pet parrot died today. His last words were s**..., I think my parrot is about to die
Parrot joke, I'm sad to announce that my pet parrot died today.

Parrot Talk Jokes

Here is a list of funny parrot talk jokes and even better parrot talk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke: I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry", so it died.
  • Darling, what happened to the parrot? – Darling, what happened to the parrot?
    – I dunno, Mommy, but I heard the cat talking.
  • I had a parrot that talked . . . but it never said, "I'm hungry." So it died.
  • I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say "I'm hungry." So it died.
  • Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
    A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
  • Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
    Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
  • I once had a parrot that couldn't talk... He died.
  • I keep trying to sell my talking parrot Because it keeps trying to sell me
  • What does a parrot named Larry talk about? Vocabulary
  • A parrot flies into a bar and says "I'll have a coconut r**..., please." A patron nearby exclaims "Hey look, a talking parrot!" Then he realizes, "Oh yeah, parrots can talk."

Parrot Pirate Jokes

Here is a list of funny parrot pirate jokes and even better parrot pirate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head.
  • I met a pirate the other day, whose parrot was saying, "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!" I said, "Shouldn't that be pieces of eight?"
    The pirate replied, "Arrrrr, it's a parroty error."
  • What happens if a pirate abuses his parrots? The Yarrr-SPCA come and take them away.
  • Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?. It gave him the cold shoulder.
  • What do pirate parrots say? Polly wanna kraken!
    (Amongst a large array other parrot-related sounds)
  • Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway? Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.
  • I asked a poor pirate why he had a seagull on his shoulder instead of a proper parrot. "Arrrr...it were on sail.'
  • A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder was applying for a job. His resume spoke for itself.
  • Why did the pirates never have headache or fever? Because the Parrot's eat them all.
  • What does every parrot and pirate want in the Fourth of July? A firecracker and some gunpowder.
Parrot joke, What does every parrot and pirate want in the Fourth of July?

Giggle-Inducing Parrot Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about parrot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pelican jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parrot pranks.

elton John has never had a parrot

But he's had a cockatoo

So there's this man with a parrot.

And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

A woman buys a talking parrot that belonged to a brothel house before.She takes the parrot home:

"Oh, new brothel, new dames...cooool ".After a while the daughters come home. The parrot:" Oh, new brothel, new h**......cooool. "After a while husband comes home. The parrot: "oh, new brothel, new h**..., old friends...hello Bob."

Dirty old man

An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by. The old man stared at him. Seeing him star, the teenager said "What's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?" The old man replied "Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering whether you were my son."

A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...

A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! That's pretty neat what you got there! Where'd you get it?" Then the parrot goes, "In Africa! Gah! There's millions of 'em!"

A burglar

While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."

I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine

A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".

Woman buys parrot

A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:
"HI GARY!!"

A Rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

Confused, the bartender asks, "Where did you get that??"
The parrot replied, "Oh him? New York."

A preacher is buying a parrot


"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you s**... fool!" screeched the parrot.

2 parrots

A woman tells her priest, Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, 'Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?'
Don't worry, says the priest. I have two male parrots who only pray and read the Bible. We'll put them in the same cage—your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrid phrase.
The next day, the woman takes her parrots to the priest's home. The male parrots are inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. When the woman places the female parrots in the cage, they cry out, Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?
One male says to the other, Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!

The Parrot Says ...

A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?"
And the parrot says: "Africa."

So, A Man Breaks Into a House...

He begins looking for valuables and such when he hears a voice.
"Jesus is watching you."
The man looks around for the source of the voice. It speaks again.
"Jesus is watching you."
After a few moments, the man finds a parrot in a cage.
"Jesus is watching you." It says.
The man smirked. "Hey there, little guy. What's your name?"
"Moses."
"What kind of people name their parrot Moses?"
"The same kind of people who name their rottweiler Jesus."

A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO
The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway.
She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing.
Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New w**... in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

what did the pirate do after his parrot bit off his g**...?

He got a woodpecker.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

a polynomeal

An Irishman walks into a bar, carrying a penguin under his right arm....

A crocodile on a leash in his left hand, and a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bartender and says "I'll have three pints of Guinness please".
The bartender looks at the Irishman.
Looks at the penguin.
Looks at the crocodile.
Looks at the parrot.
Looks back to the Irishman and says,
"What's all this supposed to be then? Some kind of joke?"

Why didn't the gay pirate have a parrot?

Because he preferred a c**...-er-two!
This is my first original pirate-themed joke. I have more on the way. Love it? Hate it? Let me know!

Is it racist if it's true? Read and answer.

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "hey that's neat where'd you find him?"
The parrot replies "Africa, they're all over the place."

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

Bartender says, "wow where did you get that?" Parrot looks at him and says "Africa, there's millions of them."

A black man walks into a bar...

And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"v**...!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.

A mom buys an old parrot from a w**.....

A mom buys an old parrot in a w**... and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.
As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.
Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.
Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop. He has a parrot on his head.
The cashier asks him, "Why is that on your head?"
The man replies, "it keeps the elephants away".
The cashier, bewildered, states, "But there are no elephants here!"
"Then clearly the parrot is working"

A black man walks into a bar...

A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"
"Africa," replied the parrot.

It's 3 am. Just smoked a fatty. Just trying to make up new material with my parrot. I think i just thought of a good one but I may just be...

Too s**... with one bird.

A pirate captain walks into a bar...

...with a peg leg, a steering wheel hanging from his pants, and a parrot on his shoulder.
Bartender: "Excuse me Captain, but you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants!"
Pirate: "Arrrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts."

What did the mathematician call his dead parrot?

Polygon

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The bartender looks in amazement and says, "how awesome! Where did you get that!?"
Suddenly the parrot looks up and says, "Oh him? Africa, there are millions of them there..."

If you have a parrot....

....and you don't teach it to say "Help, they've turned me into a parrot", your just wasting everybody's time.

During a quiet moment at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say more than two hundred words!"

Wow, that's impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean.
"Oh, I know", replied Melania, but neither does the parrot."

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...

He orders a beer.
Popping off the cap, the bartender says Wow! Where did you get that?
The parrot replies, Africa.

The mathematician has lost his parrot

Polygon

Yesterday my obese parrot died

That was a weight off my shoulders.

What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede?

A Walkie-talkie.

Soo... I'm night blind.

I've ran over a lot of animals. Opossums, squirrels, raccoons. Dogs and cats of course. There was this one animal I never could figure out what it was. It yelled "Stop". It must have been a parrot.

I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.

I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.

Have you heard the one about the parrot?

Have you heard the one about the parrot that memorized the entire Bible?
Yeah, appearently the bird is the word.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.
When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"

A wife goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot for the family pet

The wife is given an option and since she doesn't have too much money goes for the cheapest one and wonders why it is cheap. The owner tells her it is because it is from a brothel.
When she arrives home the parrot says: "Another new brothel for s**..."
Then when the daughter arrives the parrot says: "A new face has come"
Then when the father comes home, the parrot says: "John, I haven't seen you in weeks, would you like the usual?"

A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper...

After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intently at the youth's multicolored mohawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"
The man responded, "I once got drunk and had s**... with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke

A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.
At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.
The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"

A burglar broke into a house. As he was opening the safe, he heard a voice

The voice was saying "Jesus and I are watching you". The burglar turns around and sees a parrot.
"s**... bird, it was you that scared the h**... out of me"
"Yes, it was me, Aristotle"
The burglar laughs and says "That's a s**... name for a parrot"
The parrot replied "Well, Jesus is a s**... name for a doberman"

I have bad news and good news. My obese parrot died yesterday. However, there is some good news.

It's a lot of weight off my shoulders.

Liberace dies an regains consciousness outside the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, I'm sorry, Liberace, but you can't come in. It says right here you ate a parrot. That's God's favorite bird. There's no way I can let you in. Liberace responds, No, no! You got the wrong guy! I never ate a parrot!...
...Now, I mighta ate a cockatoo...

Jesus is watching you

A burglar breaks into a dark house one night. He's moving around in the dark, when he hears a calm voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar freaks out, shines his flashlight around and spots a Parrot sitting in his cage. The parrot says again, "Jesus is watching you."
Relieved it was just a Parrot, and laughing, the thief asks the Parrot, "what's your name, Parrot?"
The Parrot replies, "My name is Moses."
Laughing again, the burglar asks, "Who would name their Parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same people who named their Doberman, Jesus."

A man enters an animal shop, and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of it's legs...

The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:
- If you pull the right leg rope, he's gonna greet you in French, and if you pull the left leg rope, he'll greet you in German
- And what about, if i pull both simultaneously? - asks the man.
- Well, he...
Suddenly the parrot interrupts him:
- I will fall down, you idiot!

A frightened man goes to the secret police and says,

My talking parrot disappeared.
Why did you come here? Go to the regular police.
I will. I'm just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.

A man buys a parrot but the only thing it does is insult the man...

After spending hours trying every possible solution to get it to shut up the man decides to put the parrot in the freezer. A few minutes pass and the parrot falls silent. Thinking he might of killed it the man opens the freezer and finds the parrot shivering but alive. S-s-sorry for i-i-i-insulting you s-sir. I p-p-promise I'll s-s-stop . The man takes the the parrot out of the freezer and after a few minutes the parrot shyly says i-if you don't mind m-me asking... w-what did the t-t-turkey do?

A burglar breaks into a joint

While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"
Parrot: "Jared Leto"
Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?
Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!
*First Cake day joke!

What do you call a cross between a centipede and a parrot

A walkie-talkie

A robber decides to rob a house.

He comes in silently, doesn't turn on any lights, and starts to look for the valuables. In one room, he suddenly hears a voice say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber looks around frantically in the dark, when he hears the same voice, again say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber takes out his flashlight, and turns it on to see a parrot. He breathes a sigh of relief, and taunts by saying You're just a parrot. What are you going to do? The parrot responds I may be just a parrot, but Jesus is a Doberman.

Heard this ADhD joke a while back. A man walks into a bar with a penguin and a foul-mouthed parrot and somehow wins a bet or something.

Sorry, I guess I wasn't really paying attention.

A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone how he was performing his tricks.

After a few weeks into the course, the ship breaks down and sinks in the ocean. The magician makes it out alive and holds onto a scrap of wood not to drown. Unfortunately the parrot was also using the same scrap to survive.
A few days go past and the parrot finally looks to the magician and says, "You know what? I give up! How did you make the ship disappear?"

Parrot joke, A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone

jokes about parrot