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Parrot Jokes

157 parrot jokes and hilarious parrot puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about parrot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you ready for some hilarious parrot jokes? These jokes will have you roaring with laughter at the pirate parrot, the boss parrot, and the non-veg parrot that loves to tell us jokes. Learn about parrots and their perch, finches and budgies, and why the parrot is always up for a joke. Get ready for a good laugh!

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Funniest Parrot Short Jokes

Short parrot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parrot humour may include short budgie jokes also.

  1. My parrot was just diagnosed with an STD. Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.
  2. My obese parrot died recently. It's been really sad, but it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
  3. A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
    The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"
  4. So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
    "Africa!", says the parrot.
  5. I once dated a girl, who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut up. The parrot was cool though.
  6. I'm really worried about my Parrot. He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".
    My room-mate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.
  7. A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
    The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"
  8. I'm really tired of seeing "treat your pets like a member of your family" parroted all over the internet. I would never treat my pets that badly.
  9. I keep reading about all these patriots, draped in bright colors and repeating exactly what is said to them, though without any real understanding. Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
  10. After my friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow. I also taught it to say, "Dave, it's your brother. reincarnation is real!"

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Parrot One Liners

Which parrot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parrot? I can suggest the ones about cockatoo and peacock.

  1. Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Eeeeee....
  2. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
  3. Did you hear about the geometry teacher who left his parrot's cage open? Polygon.
  4. Two parrots were sitting on a perch One says to the other... Do you smell fish?
  5. My geometry teacher is really upset that her pet parrot died yesterday. Polly gone.
  6. I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me. I'm annoyed because my parrot is mocking me
  7. I won my first cage match last night... The parrot never knew what hit it...
  8. What's smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee
  9. So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night... NOTSONINJA
  10. I glued a picture of my deceased parrot onto my boomerang. It brings back good memories.
  11. My parrot is allergic to nickel so I bought him a Nickeless Cage.
  12. What did the mathematician say when when his geometric parrot flew away Polygon
  13. What do you call a cross between a centipede and a parrot A walkie-talkie
  14. elton John has never had a parrot But he's had a cockatoo
  15. Who is a parrot's favorite President? BRAWK Obama!
    (I'm almost a dad; I can feel it.)

Parrot Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny parrot up jokes and even better parrot up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My aunt's parrot can say over 30 phrases, but each one is offensive and belittling. I say parrot, it's actually more of a mockingbird.
  • A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... He orders a beer.
    Popping off the cap, the bartender says Wow! Where did you get that?
    The parrot replies, Africa.
  • My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together!
    Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing
  • Have you heard the one about the parrot? Have you heard the one about the parrot that memorized the entire Bible?
    Yeah, appearently the bird is the word.
  • If you have a parrot.... ....and you don't teach it to say "Help, they've turned me into a parrot", your just wasting everybody's time.
  • My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke: I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry", so it died.
  • A Rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Confused, the bartender asks, "Where did you get that??"
    The parrot replied, "Oh him? New York."
  • What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food? a polynomeal
  • Darling, what happened to the parrot? – Darling, what happened to the parrot?
    – I dunno, Mommy, but I heard the cat talking.
  • You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head.

Pet Parrot Jokes

Here is a list of funny pet parrot jokes and even better pet parrot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I saw a pet store named "Casablanca" The sign read "We'll always have parrots"
  • Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot? ...because he was using too much fowl language

Parrot Talk Jokes

Here is a list of funny parrot talk jokes and even better parrot talk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had a parrot that talked . . . but it never said, "I'm hungry." So it died.
  • I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say "I'm hungry." So it died.
  • Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
    A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
  • Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
    Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
  • I once had a parrot that couldn't talk... He died.
  • I keep trying to sell my talking parrot Because it keeps trying to sell me
  • What does a parrot named Larry talk about? Vocabulary

Parrot Pirate Jokes

Here is a list of funny parrot pirate jokes and even better parrot pirate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I met a pirate the other day, whose parrot was saying, "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!" I said, "Shouldn't that be pieces of eight?"
    The pirate replied, "Arrrrr, it's a parroty error."
  • What happens if a pirate abuses his parrots? The Yarrr-SPCA come and take them away.
  • Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?. It gave him the cold shoulder.
  • What do pirate parrots say? Polly wanna kraken!
    (Amongst a large array other parrot-related sounds)
  • Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway? Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.
  • I asked a poor pirate why he had a seagull on his shoulder instead of a proper parrot. "Arrrr...it were on sail.'
  • A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder was applying for a job. His resume spoke for itself.
  • Why did the pirates never have headache or fever? Because the Parrot's eat them all.
  • Why do pirates never have parrots called Chip? Because then they'd have a chip on their shoulder.
    (I'm sorry)
  • Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
    A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Parrot joke

Giggle-Inducing Parrot Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about parrot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pelican jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parrot pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

So there's this man with a parrot.

And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A woman buys a talking parrot that belonged to a brothel house before.She takes the parrot home:

"Oh, new brothel, new dames...cooool ".After a while the daughters come home. The parrot:" Oh, new brothel, new h**......cooool. "After a while husband comes home. The parrot: "oh, new brothel, new h**..., old friends...hello Bob."

A burglar

While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."

I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine

A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".

This is a very special parrot...

A man walks into the pet shop and sees a parrot with on each leg 1 string. "Where are these strings for?" Asks the man to the seller. He answers: "This is a very special parrot. If you pull the right string, then he says" good morning ". Pull the left string and he says 'good night'." "Really?" Says the man. "And what happens if I pull both strings at once?" Responds the parrot: "Then I fall, Idiot!"

My teacher put these onto our Word of the Day test in class today.

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch? Chicken Spocks!
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
What is a polygon? A dead parrot!

Woman buys parrot

A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:
"HI GARY!!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A preacher is buying a parrot


"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you s**... fool!" screeched the parrot.

2 parrots

A woman tells her priest, Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, 'Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?'
Don't worry, says the priest. I have two male parrots who only pray and read the Bible. We'll put them in the same cage—your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrid phrase.
The next day, the woman takes her parrots to the priest's home. The male parrots are inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. When the woman places the female parrots in the cage, they cry out, Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?
One male says to the other, Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!

The Parrot Says ...

A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?"
And the parrot says: "Africa."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Since We're Posting Jokes From Our Grandpas...

A twenty-something with a rainbow colored mohawk is sitting at a booth at a restaurant. After a while he realizes an old man sitting there staring at him. He goes back to eating but the old man is still staring at him. Eventually, he goes over and asks "look, can I help you?" and the old man says "well son, years ago I had s**... with a parrot and I was wondering if you might be my son."

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

Polyunsaturated

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO
The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway.
She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing.
Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New w**... in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

what did the pirate do after his parrot bit off his g**...?

He got a woodpecker.

An Irishman walks into a bar, carrying a penguin under his right arm....

A crocodile on a leash in his left hand, and a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bartender and says "I'll have three pints of Guinness please".
The bartender looks at the Irishman.
Looks at the penguin.
Looks at the crocodile.
Looks at the parrot.
Looks back to the Irishman and says,
"What's all this supposed to be then? Some kind of joke?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why didn't the gay pirate have a parrot?

Because he preferred a c**...-er-two!
This is my first original pirate-themed joke. I have more on the way. Love it? Hate it? Let me know!

A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving drinks

A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse tending bar before?
The guy says, It's not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.

Is it racist if it's true? Read and answer.

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "hey that's neat where'd you find him?"
The parrot replies "Africa, they're all over the place."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

"Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A mom buys an old parrot from a w**.....

A mom buys an old parrot in a w**... and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.
As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.
Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.
Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop. He has a parrot on his head.
The cashier asks him, "Why is that on your head?"
The man replies, "it keeps the elephants away".
The cashier, bewildered, states, "But there are no elephants here!"
"Then clearly the parrot is working"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Have you ever stroked a parrot?

I bet you've stroked a cockatoo...

A black man walks into a bar...

A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"
"Africa," replied the parrot.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

It's 3 am. Just smoked a fatty. Just trying to make up new material with my parrot. I think i just thought of a good one but I may just be...

Too s**... with one bird.

During a quiet moment at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say more than two hundred words!"

Wow, that's impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean.
"Oh, I know", replied Melania, but neither does the parrot."

A hideously ugly man with a parrot on his shoulder walk into a bar...

The bartender asks "does the animal speak?"
The parrot replies "I don't know."

What succeeds?

A toothless parrot.

Soo... I'm night blind.

I've ran over a lot of animals. Opossums, squirrels, raccoons. Dogs and cats of course. There was this one animal I never could figure out what it was. It yelled "Stop". It must have been a parrot.

What does a parrot say?

What does a parrot say?

I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.

I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.

What do parrots call their special forces?

Parrotroopers

I'm giving away my legless parrot for free.

No perches necessary.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because this s**... parrot keeps reposting c**... jokes" said the pet store employee.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.
When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"

What do you call a parrot that speaks more than one language?

Polly-lingual

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you know that pigeons die when they have s**...?

I'm thinking that I need something a bit bigger.
a parrot perhaps?

What's the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

Seller: 500$ for this parrot

Guy: 500$ HERE.
Voice in background: 1000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 1000$ going 1st..
Guy: 1100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 5000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 5000$ going twice....
Guy: 5100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 25.000 HE-RE.
Guy: 25.100 HERE.
Seller: Sold!!
Guy: I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out he can't talk!!!
Auctioneer: Dont worry he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke

A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.
At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.
The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"

Swearing parrot

So this woman has a parrot that is always swearing and she doesn't know how to make him stop. So she decides to take him to her vet for some advice on it. He tells her to put him in the freezer for 10 seconds next time he swears. So later that day the parrot starts swearing and she decides to try it. After 10 seconds she takes him out and he says to her, "I'm so sorry about all the swearing, it'll never happen again. & btw, can you tell me what the chicken did"?

To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot

I don't know how you sleep at night

Liberace dies an regains consciousness outside the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, I'm sorry, Liberace, but you can't come in. It says right here you ate a parrot. That's God's favorite bird. There's no way I can let you in. Liberace responds, No, no! You got the wrong guy! I never ate a parrot!...
...Now, I mighta ate a cockatoo...

Jesus is watching you

A burglar breaks into a dark house one night. He's moving around in the dark, when he hears a calm voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar freaks out, shines his flashlight around and spots a Parrot sitting in his cage. The parrot says again, "Jesus is watching you."
Relieved it was just a Parrot, and laughing, the thief asks the Parrot, "what's your name, Parrot?"
The Parrot replies, "My name is Moses."
Laughing again, the burglar asks, "Who would name their Parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same people who named their Doberman, Jesus."

A man enters an animal shop, and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of it's legs...

The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:
- If you pull the right leg rope, he's gonna greet you in French, and if you pull the left leg rope, he'll greet you in German
- And what about, if i pull both simultaneously? - asks the man.
- Well, he...
Suddenly the parrot interrupts him:
- I will fall down, you idiot!

A frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulde wearing a tuxedo

"Well isn't he beautiful" Says the bartender. "Where did you get him?"
"In France, there are tons of them." the parrot replies.

A man buys a parrot but the only thing it does is insult the man...

After spending hours trying every possible solution to get it to shut up the man decides to put the parrot in the freezer. A few minutes pass and the parrot falls silent. Thinking he might of killed it the man opens the freezer and finds the parrot shivering but alive. S-s-sorry for i-i-i-insulting you s-sir. I p-p-promise I'll s-s-stop . The man takes the the parrot out of the freezer and after a few minutes the parrot shyly says i-if you don't mind m-me asking... w-what did the t-t-turkey do?

A burglar breaks in a house

As he is looking around he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you!" Panicked he looks around but sees nothing and nobody. He keeps searching for loot when again "Jesus is watching you!" This time he does a better search and finally sees a parrot in a cage. "Did you say that?" he asks "Yes, it was me." confirms the parrot. "What's your name?" we inquires. "Moses" answers the parrot. Burglar can't help but to laugh. "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?" "Same type of people that name their guard pit bull Jesus."

A burglar breaks into a joint

While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"
Parrot: "Jared Leto"
Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?
Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!
*First Cake day joke!

Cake Day Joke!

An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me – you do not want that parrot!
She said, I can teach it good manners.  
But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.
She took it out and said, Did you learn your lesson? It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds. She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet. 
The parrot said Brr… Yes I learned my lesson, but, what did the chicken do?

A robber decides to rob a house.

He comes in silently, doesn't turn on any lights, and starts to look for the valuables. In one room, he suddenly hears a voice say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber looks around frantically in the dark, when he hears the same voice, again say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber takes out his flashlight, and turns it on to see a parrot. He breathes a sigh of relief, and taunts by saying You're just a parrot. What are you going to do? The parrot responds I may be just a parrot, but Jesus is a Doberman.

When you are in love with your parrot...

You are most likely pollyamorous.

A blind man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...

...the bartender says, "Hey man, what's with the parrot?"
The man says, "It's my seeing-eye parrot."
The bartender says, "You know, most people use dogs right?"
The man replies, "Yeah, but do you know how hard it is to get one of those to stay on your shoulder?"

Heard this ADhD joke a while back. A man walks into a bar with a penguin and a foul-mouthed parrot and somehow wins a bet or something.

Sorry, I guess I wasn't really paying attention.

A car driver hits a low flying parrot

He takes the unconscious parrot, home and cares for it.
The next day it regains consciousness and finds himself in a cage. It gets surprised and says, " W-w-wait, jail? Did the car driver die?"

A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone how he was performing his tricks.

After a few weeks into the course, the ship breaks down and sinks in the ocean. The magician makes it out alive and holds onto a scrap of wood not to drown. Unfortunately the parrot was also using the same scrap to survive.
A few days go past and the parrot finally looks to the magician and says, "You know what? I give up! How did you make the ship disappear?"

Parrot joke, A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone

jokes about parrot