parrot Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious parrot stories

What are the best parrot puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Parrot? Well here is a complete list of the top parrot jokes:

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

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A black dude walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bar tender goes "Awesome, Where'd you get that?"


The parrot replies "Africa, there's thousands of them there."

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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder..

The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"

The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"

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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender asks him, "Where did you get that thing?"

Parrot says, "Africa."

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worried about my parrot... (sorry if repost)

I'm really worried about my parrot.

He keeps saying, "I can't go on. I hate my life..."

My room-mate's to selfish to notice. He's always crying.

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A burglar

While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."

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black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...

the bartender says "where did you get that?" parrot says "africa, where else?"

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A woman buys a talking parrot that belonged to a brothel house before.She takes the parrot home:

"Oh, new brothel, new dames...cooool ".After a while the daughters come home. The parrot:" Oh, new brothel, new hookers...cooool. "After a while husband comes home. The parrot: "oh, new brothel, new hookers, old friends...hello Bob."

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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "Hey - that's pretty cool. Where did you get him?"

The parrot says, "Detroit."

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The Parrot Says ...

A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?"
And the parrot says: "Africa."

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A black man goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...

The bartender looks at the parrot and says, "Wow! That's a beauty. Where'd you get him?"

The parrot replies, "Africa".

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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder

The bartender says, "Hey, that thing is cool - where did you get it?"

The parrot replies, "Africa."

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Cake day post: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

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What's orange, and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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Lindsay Lohan walks into a bar, with a one winged, beat up, inebriated parrot on her shoulder

The bartender says, "Where did you get that drunk, fucked up bird?"

The parrot says, "The Rehab clinic in Malibu."

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A black guy walks in to a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, The barman says "wow, where did you get that?"

... And the parrot says "Africa, there's fucking loads of them".

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I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut the f@#K-up!

but the parrot was cool though!

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A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...

A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! That's pretty neat what you got there! Where'd you get it?" Then the parrot goes, "In Africa! Gah! There's millions of 'em!"

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So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night...

NOTSONINJA

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

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If you have a pet parrot

and don't teach it to say "Help they've turned me into a parrot", you're wasting everyone's time.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

Confused, the bartender asks, "Where did you get that??"
The parrot replied, "Oh him? New York."

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so a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, and the bartender says, "where'd you get that?"

and the parrot says "Africa"

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Dirty old man

An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by. The old man stared at him. Seeing him star, the teenager said "What's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?" The old man replied "Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering whether you were my son."

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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Elton John has never had a parrot

But he's had a cockatoo

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Two parrots sitting on a perch

One turns to the other and asks "Can you smell fish?"

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Parrots..

A parrot swallows a viagra tab. His owner,disgusted,puts him in the freezer to cool off. After 20 minutes, he opens the freezer to see the parrot sweatin."why r u sweating?", he asks. The Parrot replies,"Do u kno how fucking hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken!?"

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I had a parrot that talked . . .

but it never said, "I'm hungry." So it died.

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A black guy walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder

The bartender looks at him and says, "That thing is really cool! Where did you get it?"

The parrot replies, "Detroit"

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My teacher put these onto our Word of the Day test in class today.

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch? Chicken Spocks!

What animals are on legal documents? Seals!

What is a polygon? A dead parrot!

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An old man was sitting on a bench ...

A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair coloured green, red, orange, blue and yellow.

The old man just stared. The young man said: " What's the matter, old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man replied: " Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son. "

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This black guy walks into a bar...

This black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "Hey, that thing's beautiful, where did you get it?"

Then the parrot says, "Africa."

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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What is a polygon?

A dead parrot.

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A guy's parrot takes Viagra, he gets really horny. The guy stuffs the parrot in the freezer to cool him down and he forgets the little guy inside.

The next day he opens the freezer's door, the parrot all sweaty:- oh, man , it's very hard to spread the legs of this frozen chicken

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Two parrots sitting on a perch, one turns to the other and says 'Do you smell fish'.

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Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!

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A black african man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says "

That's pretty nice where did you get it?"
"Africa" the parrot responds.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!

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Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.

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Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!

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I own a gossipy parrot...

which really says a lot about me.

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Pet-store parrots.

A man walks into a pet store looking to buy a parrot, he sees 3 next to each other. He goes to the cashier and says, "How much for the first parrot on the left?" the cashier replies "2000$" " 2000$! What can it do for that price?" "It can write and take notes" the owner says. The man nods and asks the price of the second parrot, "5000$" What can that one do? The man asks again. "Oh that one can use the computer and send emails." The man nods again, "Ok how about the last one?" "The last one? 10,000$." The mans jaw drops. "What can that one do?" The pet store owner shrugs and says "I don't have a clue but the other two call him boss."

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3 guys on a cliff

Three guys go to a cliff to see the view. When they get there a wise old magician sitting there. He then says "since you are the first people theat have found me in 20 years I will let you turn into something of your choice. But first you have to run ang jump off the cliff.
The first guy goes and jumps off and shouts "I WANT TO BE AN EAGLE. He then flys away in his eagle body.
The second guy goes and jumps off and shouts "I WANT TO BE A PARROT" he then flies away.
Finally the last guy goes and right before he jumps he trips off the cliff. He then shouts "OH SHIT"

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Woman buys parrot

A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:

"HI GARY!!"

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"Don't talk to the Bird!"

Jill's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the work top, and I'll send you a check. Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances,talk to my parrot! I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!

When the repairman arrived at Jill's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

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The farmer's new cock

A farmer buys a new young cock. As soon as he gets it home, the cock rushes and fucks all the 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock screws all 150 hens again. Now, the farmer starts getting worried. The next day, he finds the cock fucking the ducks, geese and the lone parrot too. That evening, the farmer finds the cock lying out in the open field, pale, half-dead and vultures circling over its head.

"You horny bastard! You deserve this." He tells the cock.

The cock opens 1 eye slowly, points up and replies, "Sshhhh! Don't shout.. Wait for them to land.."

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A woman takes her dead parrot into a vet's office...

And lays it upon the examination table. The vet takes one look at the deceased bird and says, 'Sorry Ma'am, but your parrot is dead.' The woman isn't satisfied, and asks for a second opinion. The vet obliges and pokes his head into the next room and calls in a second doctor. A cat saunters in, jumps up onto the table, looks up to the vet with sorrow in his eyes and says, 'Meow.' 'Sorry,' the vet says, 'my colleague says your parrot is dead. The woman still isn't satisfied and wants yet another opinion. The vet, as before, pokes his head into the next room, but this time a dog bounds in, puts its paws on the table, sniffs the bird and barks. 'Sorry Ma'am, but that's three doctor's opinions. Your bird is certainly dead.' 'Alright,' the woman says, 'you win, here's the $50 for the appointment.' '$50?' The vet exclaims, 'You owe me $150 for the extra cat scan and the lab report.'

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best parrot jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about parrot. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty parrot gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these parrot jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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