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Parlor Jokes

79 parlor jokes and hilarious parlor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parlor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From beauty parlors to funeral parlors, parlor jokes are jokes that can be told in any social foyer. Whether you're cracking up your friends with laughs or enjoying a bowl of sherbet on a hot day, parlor jokes are a timeless source of entertainment. Read on for a collection of the best parlor jokes!

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Funniest Parlor Short Jokes

Short parlor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parlor humour may include short parlour jokes also.

  1. went to a temporary tatoo parlor it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone.
  2. An albino guy walks into a tattoo parlor... ...the tattooist looks him over, and asks "So... what do you want?"
    The albino guy replies, "BEIGE. EVERYWHERE."
  3. Robert Kraft doesn't always have a use for massage parlors. But sometimes they come in handy.
  4. A grasshopper walks into an ice cream parlor The clerk says "Hey Grasshopper, we have an ice cream flavor named after you!" The Grasshopper says "What? You have a flavor named Kenneth?"
  5. My father died of a fatal heart attack at a massage parlor last night I'm told he came and went at the same time
  6. I got kicked out of a massage parlor the other day. Apparently the prostate isn't considered "deep tissue."
  7. There's an upcoming show featuring the woman from Tiger King and Batman's sidekick, going around and reviewing ice cream parlors Carole Baskin And Robin's
  8. I went to a massage parlor today... When it was time for the happy ending, I finished in 20 seconds. The massause said I need to come more often.
  9. An old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor. He ordered a banana split. The waitress asked, Crushed nuts? No, he said. Arthritis.
  10. The dalai lama walks into a pizza parlor... And he asks the cashier to make him one with everything.

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Parlor One Liners

Which parlor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parlor? I can suggest the ones about living room and porch.

  1. I'm going to make an all male massage parlor. I'll call it The Massagynist
  2. What is a Russian oligarch's least favorite parlor game? yacht seize!
  3. How do you clear out a Japanese bingo parlor? B-29
  4. What did Mike Wazowski call his tattoo parlor? Monster's Ink.
  5. I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way
  6. What do you call a happy ending at a Jewish massage parlor? Free.
  7. Why was Disney's massage parlor so successful? All of their customers got happy endings.
  8. When it comes to massage parlors Some customers are a handful.
  9. I want to invest in massage parlors I've heard that their turnover rate is pretty high.
  10. What do you call a Judaic dojo that is into black magic? A Jew Juju jiu jitsu parlor
  11. A police officer arrested a massage parlor owner Because he rubbed him the wrong way
  12. What did the frog say in the massage parlor? Rubbit.
  13. Why was Disney's massage parlor so successful? Everybody gets a happy ending.
  14. Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
    For hare care.
  15. Welcome to my massage parlor: the misogynysts Men only.

Funeral Parlor Jokes

Here is a list of funny funeral parlor jokes and even better funeral parlor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm opening a f**... parlor for people of no specific faith I'm calling it "Die Agnostic Services."
  • I got fired from my job at the f**... parlor. My boss thought "smoking or non smoking?" was an inappropriate way to ask if they wanted cremation.
  • A Chinese f**... parlor opened in my town. It's called "Can you Bereave It"
  • I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the f**... parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."

Beauty Parlor Jokes

Here is a list of funny beauty parlor jokes and even better beauty parlor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My gf went to the beauty parlor and got a Brazilian. Nothing extreme, just punched her.
Parlor joke, My gf went to the beauty parlor and got a Brazilian.

Parlor joke, My gf went to the beauty parlor and got a Brazilian.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about parlor can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of parlor puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Hilarious Parlor Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about parlor you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean lounge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make parlor prank.

... a Buddhist Monk goes into a Zen pizza parlor & says, "Make me one with everything."

The Zen Monk goes, "very funny... that'll be $16."
The Buddhist gives him a $20 bill.
The Zen monk puts it in the till and walks off.
The Buddhist monk says, "Hey where's my change?"
The Zen monk calls back, "Change comes from within."

Tatoos of Elvis

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.

Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."

Penguin experiencing car trouble

Hot summer day and Mr. Penguin's car breaks down. Takes it to the body shop, and Joe Mechanic tells him to give him half an hour to look it over, and then come back.
To kill some time, Mr. Penguin goes to the local ice cream parlor. After finishing his tasty, frosty treat, he goes back to the body shop.
"Well," says the mechanic, "looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," says the penguin -- "It's just ice cream."

A penguin was driving along...

A penguin was driving along when he smelled something burning. He took his car to a mechanic to get it checked out. The mechanic said "It'll be about an hour" so the penguin went walking around town. He stopped at an ice cream parlor and ordered a cone. The penguin tried eating the ice cream, but made a mess because of his flippers. He went back to the mechanic who had just got under his car. The mechanic rolled out from underneath and said "looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied "no, it's ice cream".

Im opening a ice cream parlor in Israel...

Its called "The Creamatorium"

TIL That Oscar Pistorius once opened a pizza parlor only to have it fail and go bankrupt. The cause?

His car was always breaking down, so OP never delivered.

After a long day of work, Vladimir Putin was at a local massage parlor

After he was finished he said, "Man, that really hit de-spot."

A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.

A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain

Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose?

It doesn't matter he's just going to drop it anyway

If there was ever a great name for a male only massage parlor it would be:

The Massaganist.

Teacher and Students

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

A man walks into a pizza parlor owned my a couple of monks

He walks up to the cashier and says,
"Can you make me one with everything?"

A teacher was teaching....

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

An old man walked into an ice cream parlor...

He slowly climbed onto a stool, wincing with pain, and then proceeded to order a banana split.
"Crushed nuts, sir?" asked the waitress.
The old man took a deep breath and replied, "No, arthritis"

A guy walks into a tattoo parlor

He gets a nice tattoo of his daughters name. The guy comes back the next week and gets just a dash on his arm. He keeps coming back each week getting another dash.
Eventually the tattoo artist asks him what he's doing. The guy replies "Keeping count."
"Of what?" the tattoo artist asks.
"How many tattoos I've got."

Benjamin Button served his time for p**...

But they still won't let him within 2000 feet of a bingo parlor.

I got great life advice from the old asian lady at the massage parlor

"If you want Happy Ending, don't pick young pretty girl."

A burly man walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for another tally mark tattoo

The tattoo artist, a bit worried, asks what all the growing number of tally marks is keeping a record of. The burly man gruffs:
"The number of tattoos I've gotten"

An Eskimo brings his SUV into the shop for repairs.

Mechanic says, "Let me take a look. I'll be with you in a few min." The Eskimo notices they have an ice cream parlor next door, so he heads over while he waits. When he returns to the auto shop, the mechanic stops him and says, "Well... You need a fan belt and it looks like you blew a seal." The Eskimo replies, "Nope. It's just ice cream."

If Nintendo decided to set up an Asian massage parlor, what would they call it?

"Wii love you long time"

I asked the owner of a b**... parlor if I can have a tour of the place...

...He said he was t**... at the moment. He had to show the new girl the ropes.

johnny in the math class

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

If they opened up a massage parlor in Disneyland...

Would it be called a "Happily ever after"?

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.

When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Joke I read a while back, found it again

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking

A blonde walks into a hair salon and asks to be s**... bald

"I think you should stay blonde," says the Parlor

The massage parlor up the road was throwing a promotion for repeast customers

They called it a male in rebate

I found a massage parlor offering swedish massages,

but I was looking for a happy Finnish.

A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"

"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

I'm so pale...

I'm so pale that when I went outside last winter, the neighborhood kids said, "Hey, look! Frosty's on a diet!"
I'm so pale that when I worked in the ice cream parlor and was giving a kid his vanilla cone, he started l**... my hand.
I'm so pale that my house is listed as haunted. It was built last year!
I'm so pale that when I went to confession, the priest told me to eat a clove of garlic.

A walruses car broke down.

While waiting for the mechanic to troubleshoot the problem he decided to walk to the ice cream parlor. He ordered a vanilla ice cream cone and ate it while walking back to the car shop. As he finished the last bite he realized he forgot to grab a napkin. As he desperately tried to clean his very sticky face and hands the mechanic step out of the garage. Looks like you blew a seal the mechanic said. No the walrus replied it's just ice cream .

"Will you walk into my parlor", said the spider to the fly.

To which the fly replied, "Holy s**..., a talking spider!"

An ice cream parlor has been arrested for drug trafficking in my neighborhood

This was yesterday and still cannot believe it. I have been his client most of my life and would never had imagined he sold ice cream

I'm thinking of opening a tattoo parlor where women flash their b**... for free tattoos.

Call it..."t**... for tat".

A little old man goes to the ice cream parlor.

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

If I go to a tattoo parlor and try to pay them with a bird

Would that be a t**... for a Tat?

Parlor joke, I'm opening a f**... parlor for people of no specific faith

jokes about parlor

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these parlor jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.