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Parliament Jokes

48 parliament jokes and hilarious parliament puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parliament that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Parliament Short Jokes

Short parliament jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parliament humour may include short congress jokes also.

  1. A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament... This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.
  2. Two facts about me, 1) When I die I have arranged for my remains to be spread around the Houses of Parliament. 2) I don't want to be cremated.
  3. Mark Zuckerberg refuses formal appearance before Parliament Couldn't find a tux with a hoodie
  4. How many European Parliament representatives does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. You have to have a brain to change a lightbulb.
  5. Why do the bees have honey? Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing.
  6. Theresa May's Brexit deal just lost for a third time in parliament. Didn't she ever learn that no means no ?
    Too soon? For me too.
  7. I guess the United Kingdom really does have a patriarchy... ...because that is one hung Parliament.
  8. The horses failed to unite their government... The parliament of horses could not pass a single bill.
    The "Neighs" had it, every time.
  9. How could I forget, mate? At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said:
    "I am a country member!" and the other said:
    "Oh, I remember!"
  10. Whats the difference between congress and parliament? Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

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Parliament One Liners

Which parliament one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parliament? I can suggest the ones about house of lords and council.

  1. Only one man has ever entered parliament with honest intentions... ... Guy Fawkes
  2. I'm hung like .. .. parliament.
  3. If nationalists got 100% of the seats in the Parliament... ...it would be all-right.
  4. Parliament vote on picasso painting: Eyes to the left: 2
    Nose to the right: 1
  5. The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes.
  6. What did Obama say when he called the Russian Parliament? "Are you Putin me on?"
  7. Who keeps Canada's House of Parliament clean? Dustin' Trudeau
  8. What Do You Call The Opposite of a Libary The Australia Parliament
  9. How do you discontinue a session of the ukranian Parliament? With a plate of Prorogies!
  10. What do parliament and Ukrainian skies have in common? They're both raining bodies
  11. What does British parliament name as the #1 cause for p**...? s**... children
  12. Why did Japanese politicians f**... in the parliament? because they had " Diet " issues.

Member Parliament Jokes

Here is a list of funny member parliament jokes and even better member parliament puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Once you've met one member of the Polish parliament, you've met them all. After all, half of them are the Sejm.
Parliament joke, Once you've met one member of the Polish parliament, you've met them all.

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Parliament Jokes

What funny jokes about parliament you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parlour jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parliament pranks.

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London...

As they went past the Tower of London the cabbie explained what the building was and provided a brief history. Upon hearing that its construction started in 1346 and was completed in 1412, the Texan stated, "Really? A little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"

Next they passed the House of Parliament, and the cabbie again gave a brief history, omitting the construction dates this time. However, being eager to brag, the Texan questioned its construction too. The cabbie replied that it was built in 1544 and completed in 1618.

"Well, boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a month!"

As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent.
"Well? What's that over there?" asked the Texan.

The annoyed cabbie scratches his head and replied "I haven't the foggiest idea, Sir. It wasn't there yesterday!"

A poor farmer came to the Parliament house

A poor farmer came to the Parliament house in New Delhi to meet with an officer. He kept his bicycle near the high walls of the building and proceeded to the entrance.
The security guard came running towards him and hurriedly asked him to remove the bicycle.
This is a very prestigious place. High profile men, ministers and judges come here
The farmer innocently replied, I know that. I have locked my cycle, nobody can take it

A small boy parks his bicycle nearby the Parliament house and walks on...

A police constable stops him and asks: "Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know about this road? Many politicians pass from here".
The boy innocently replies, "Don't worry, I have locked my bicycle".

Interesting Parliaments.

Member of Parliament: Mr speaker, half of the members in this house are s**....
Speaker: Honourable member please withdraw that statement.
Member of parliament: My apologies Mr speaker, half of members in this house are not s**....
Speaker: Thank you, lets move on.

Many ravens are called a congress...

Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a m**....
Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?

David Cameron.

What do you call David Cameron when he enters the houses of parliament? An inside joke.
What do you call David Cameron when he's late for the bus? A running joke.
What do you call David Cameron's leadership skills? A bad joke.

Putin, Medvedev, and a few other members of the cabinet and parliament walk into a restaurant...

They get seated, and the waiter asks Putin:
– What would you like to eat, sir?
– I'll have some meat.
– And how about the vegetables, sir?
– The vegetables will also have some meat.

For those wondering what a hung parliament means...

It means Mrs Parliament is a lucky lady.

Axel Voss walks into a bar.

Axel Voss walks into a bar.
"Bartender I am celebrating a victory in the European Parliament. Get me some very expensive drink."
"Sir, this is The Inventor's Bar - our drinks are named after inventions: the harder they are to invent, the more expensive the drink is. I would recommend Perpetuum Mobile Brandy, Squared Circle v**... or Halting Problem r**... for you."
"Do you have something even more luxurious?"
"Yes sir, try our most expensive beverage: try the Content Filter Which Tells Parody From Plagiarism Cognac!"

Contrary to popular myth, Owls are actually quite s**....

Which is why a group of them is called a Parliament.

Why can't Mark Zuckerberg appear before the EU parliament to answer questions?

Because his charger is 2 pin and the EU uses a different voltage.

The people of Prague don't want their parliament to move outside the country...

... cause they want to keep their government in czech

Westminster chimes to be replaced

To mark the hung parliament the Westminster chimes will be replaced with one big d**....

Parliament joke, How do you discontinue a session of the Ukranian Parliament?

jokes about parliament