Parking Ticket Jokes
43 parking ticket jokes and hilarious parking ticket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parking ticket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Parking Ticket Short Jokes
Short parking ticket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parking ticket humour may include short parking fine jokes also.
- Got a parking ticket the other day for being parked illegally. Not sure why. The sign clearly said 'Fine for parking'.
- Hey girl, are you a parking ticket? Because I picked you up on the street, and now I can't afford to pay you.
- Be careful parking around the AT&T Stadium I left my car for about 15 minutes with my Cowboys tickets in the front seat.
Someone broke in and left two more - When the Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park, the employee let him in anyway Typically I'm a stickler about this sort of thing, he remarked But I'm gonna let this Juan slide.
- I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks. Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
- I got ripped off at the amusement park. A guy sold me tickets to the ferrous wheel.
Turns out it's made of aluminium. - I left my car between the numerator and denominator. I got a ticket for parking in fraction.
- My dad came to visit for the weekend. Today he awoke and found a parking ticket on his car. He said, "Looks like today is turning out to be a fine day."
- I got a boot on my car for what I thought were just average parking tickets. As it turns out, they were outstanding.
- Are you a parking ticket? "Because you got fine written all over you."
-Glenn Quagmire
P.S. heh heh, ohh riggght.
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Parking Ticket One Liners
Which parking ticket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parking ticket? I can suggest the ones about traffic ticket and parking meter.
- Wanna hear a joke about a parking ticket? No??
FINE. - Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped? Demeter wasn't working.
- me: "I plead insanity, your honor." judge: "its just a parking ticket"
- Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
- You must be a parking ticket Cause you got "FINE" written all over you!
- Alton towers The only theme park where you can get either a single or return ticket
- Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you
Witty Parking Ticket Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about parking ticket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speeding ticket jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parking ticket pranks.
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:
"I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:
"I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things.
We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for i**... parking right in front of us on the curb.
So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break.
But he paid us no attention and kept writing.
Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo."
The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket.
I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off."
The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third.
We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen.
Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street.
We didn't care about the tickets.
We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers.
Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused.
We feel it's important.
Retired
My friends that still work ask me frequently what I do every day, now that I'm retired. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and entered a shop; I wasn't there for even five minutes.
When I exited, a cop was filling out a ticket for double-parking. I quickly approached him and said, "Wow, officer! I didn't spend more than five minutes in the store! God would reward you if you made a kind gesture toward an old, retired man, such as myself." He completely ignored me and continued filling out the ticket.
The truth is, I went a little overboard, so I apologized. The cop looked at me coldly and started to fill out a second ticket, saying that besides being double-parked, my license plate was crooked. I then raised my voice and called him every name in the book. He finished the second ticket and placed it under the windshield wiper.
I didn't desist, and continued to insult him with all I had. To every insult, he smiled vengefully and filled out yet another ticket. After the fifteenth infraction, I told him, "I'm afraid I must leave you, officer - my bus has arrived!"
A Chinese girl parked in a handicap space...
And continues onto the shops, unaware she accidentally parked in the handicap space. Coming back to her car, she sees a ticket inspector writing a bunch of tickets. She has a lot of groceries an is hurried in putting them away. The parking inspector takes one look at her, says 'carry on and have a nice day', and continues walking.
Puzzled, she resumes putting away the bags then decides to continue shopping. She later returns to her car and sees the same parking inspector. She approaches him and asks 'why didn't you give me a ticket earlier for illegally parking?'. The man replied 'love, I'm just happy that you're off the road.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... in Public!!!
A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.
Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.
"Didn't you know that you are not supposed to be having s**... in public?" he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed by being caught, they said yes and apologized.
"Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket."
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior. After getting dressed, the girl asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.
He responded, "Doing 69 in a 40 Kph speed zone!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl, are you a parking ticket?
Because I want to throw you aside and forget about you forever.
So apparently Richard III will remain in that parking lot they found him in.
Because nobody can afford to pay his ticket.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Cleveland Cavaliers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicap spaces!
A man parks his car on the street and goes into a shop....
...When he comes out, the car is not where he left it and apparently was stolen. So he calls the police and hopelessly goes back home. Two days later, he finds his car at his front door, with a note left in:
I am very sorry but I had to borrow your car, because my wife was in labor and about to give birth and I had to act quickly. I deeply apologize and send these front-row concert tickets for you and your wife to enjoy this tuesday evening.
So the man and his wife go to the concert tuesday evening. When they return home, they realize someone broke in and the house was burgled. And a note was left on the floor: Soo, did you like the concert?
Sorry for the terrible grammar :D
Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you
My girlfriend told me this one today, I was impressed
I was almost given a parking ticket...
But I refilled the meter just in the nickel of dime.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So this cop was writing a parking ticket.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I call him a s**... idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
The I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.
[Fun Fact] A man called Gregory Nemitz claimed ownership of an asteroid before NASA landed on it...
He then proceeded to issue NASA a US $20 parking ticket for parking on the Asteroid.
I was walking in Little Italy yesterday
when I saw a man patiently standing by his car as he was being written a parking ticket. The officer finished, and the man thanked her and opened his car.
Confused as to why he seemed so unconcerned I approached him. "Sir! You just got a ticket! How are you so calm about this?"
He just shrugged and said, "It's a-fine."
I went to a restaurant to dine last week.
When I returned to my car, there was a parking ticket stuck on the windshield.
Well, that was fine dining!
A man got parking ticket
A man was charged in court for parking his car on the wrong side of the road.
Judge: Why did you park your car in a no parking area?
Man: Your honour, the sign read, Fine for Parking. So I thought it was fine to park my car there!
Take 4 right hand turns if you are being followed in your car
I read on Reddit that if you think you are being followed, you should take 4 right-hand turns and then see whether that car is still behind you. I recently experienced this fear, and so I took 8 right hand turns out of an abundance of caution and then checked the rear-view mirror. Sure enough, that car was still there, right behind me!
I told the next authority figure I could find, but the parking deck attendant just took my ticket, looked at me funny, and closed her window, so I drove away...
A man took his friend to a water park he enjoyed as a kid.
One day, a man decided he wanted to visit the water park he and his friend used to go to. They hadn't been in 10 years, so it would be nice to revisit.
The friend agreed, and when they got there, they got in line for tickets.
The first man tapped his friend on the shoulder and pointed at the boards showing the opening and closing times.
I remember when these were all hand-carved wood. Now they're replaced them with TV's
The second man shook his head. They're getting more advanced. It sure is a sign of the times.