Parking Ticket Jokes
53 parking ticket jokes and hilarious parking ticket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parking ticket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Parking Ticket Short Jokes
Short parking ticket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parking ticket humour may include short parking fine jokes also.
- Got a parking ticket the other day for being parked illegally. Not sure why. The sign clearly said 'Fine for parking'.
- Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus!! Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Fine. 3/5 of my parking tickets are bogus!! - Hey girl, are you a parking ticket? Because I picked you up on the street, and now I can't afford to pay you.
- Be careful parking around the AT&T Stadium I left my car for about 15 minutes with my Cowboys tickets in the front seat.
Someone broke in and left two more - When the Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park, the employee let him in anyway Typically I'm a stickler about this sort of thing, he remarked But I'm gonna let this Juan slide.
- I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks. Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
- I got ripped off at the amusement park. A guy sold me tickets to the ferrous wheel.
Turns out it's made of aluminium. - Man: Judge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets. Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets. - I left my car between the numerator and denominator. I got a ticket for parking in fraction.
- My dad came to visit for the weekend. Today he awoke and found a parking ticket on his car. He said, "Looks like today is turning out to be a fine day."
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Parking Ticket One Liners
Which parking ticket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parking ticket? I can suggest the ones about traffic ticket and parking meter.
- Got a parking ticket yesterday. Not sure why. The sign said fine for parking.
- Wanna hear a joke about a parking ticket? No??
FINE. - Hey girl, are you a parking ticket? Because NO ONE LIKES YOU
- What happens to a frog who does not pay his parking tickets? His car gets Toad!
- Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped? Demeter wasn't working.
- Yo mama so slow that when she tried to cross the road she got a parking ticket.
- me: "I plead insanity, your honor." judge: "its just a parking ticket"
- Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
- Yo mama so fat she got a parking ticket for standing at a crosswalk.
- You must be a parking ticket Cause you got "FINE" written all over you!
- Girl, are you a parking ticket? Because your need for validation is insane.
- Alton towers The only theme park where you can get either a single or return ticket
- Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you
Witty Parking Ticket Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about parking ticket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speeding ticket jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parking ticket pranks.
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:
"I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:
"I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Retired
My friends that still work ask me frequently what I do every day, now that I'm retired. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and entered a shop; I wasn't there for even five minutes.
When I exited, a cop was filling out a ticket for double-parking. I quickly approached him and said, "Wow, officer! I didn't spend more than five minutes in the store! God would reward you if you made a kind gesture toward an old, retired man, such as myself." He completely ignored me and continued filling out the ticket.
The truth is, I went a little overboard, so I apologized. The cop looked at me coldly and started to fill out a second ticket, saying that besides being double-parked, my license plate was crooked. I then raised my voice and called him every name in the book. He finished the second ticket and placed it under the windshield wiper.
I didn't desist, and continued to insult him with all I had. To every insult, he smiled vengefully and filled out yet another ticket. After the fifteenth infraction, I told him, "I'm afraid I must leave you, officer - my bus has arrived!"
A Chinese girl parked in a handicap space...
And continues onto the shops, unaware she accidentally parked in the handicap space. Coming back to her car, she sees a ticket inspector writing a bunch of tickets. She has a lot of groceries an is hurried in putting them away. The parking inspector takes one look at her, says 'carry on and have a nice day', and continues walking.
Puzzled, she resumes putting away the bags then decides to continue shopping. She later returns to her car and sees the same parking inspector. She approaches him and asks 'why didn't you give me a ticket earlier for illegally parking?'. The man replied 'love, I'm just happy that you're off the road.'
Girl, are you a parking ticket?
Because I want to throw you aside and forget about you forever.
So apparently Richard III will remain in that parking lot they found him in.
Because nobody can afford to pay his ticket.
Why do Cleveland Cavaliers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicap spaces!
A man parks his car on the street and goes into a shop....
...When he comes out, the car is not where he left it and apparently was stolen. So he calls the police and hopelessly goes back home. Two days later, he finds his car at his front door, with a note left in:
I am very sorry but I had to borrow your car, because my wife was in labor and about to give birth and I had to act quickly. I deeply apologize and send these front-row concert tickets for you and your wife to enjoy this tuesday evening.
So the man and his wife go to the concert tuesday evening. When they return home, they realize someone broke in and the house was burgled. And a note was left on the floor: Soo, did you like the concert?
Sorry for the terrible grammar :D
Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you
My girlfriend told me this one today, I was impressed
Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?
Because Demeter stopped working.
What happened to the man with a legal f**... when he went to court for his parking ticket?
He got off on a technicality
Are you a parking ticket?
"Because you got fine written all over you."
-Glenn Quagmire
P.S. heh heh, ohh riggght.
[Fun Fact] A man called Gregory Nemitz claimed ownership of an asteroid before NASA landed on it...
He then proceeded to issue NASA a US $20 parking ticket for parking on the Asteroid.
I was walking in Little Italy yesterday
when I saw a man patiently standing by his car as he was being written a parking ticket. The officer finished, and the man thanked her and opened his car.
Confused as to why he seemed so unconcerned I approached him. "Sir! You just got a ticket! How are you so calm about this?"
He just shrugged and said, "It's a-fine."
I went to a restaurant to dine last week.
When I returned to my car, there was a parking ticket stuck on the windshield.
Well, that was fine dining!
A man got parking ticket
A man was charged in court for parking his car on the wrong side of the road.
Judge: Why did you park your car in a no parking area?
Man: Your honour, the sign read, Fine for Parking. So I thought it was fine to park my car there!
Take 4 right hand turns if you are being followed in your car
I read on Reddit that if you think you are being followed, you should take 4 right-hand turns and then see whether that car is still behind you. I recently experienced this fear, and so I took 8 right hand turns out of an abundance of caution and then checked the rear-view mirror. Sure enough, that car was still there, right behind me!
I told the next authority figure I could find, but the parking deck attendant just took my ticket, looked at me funny, and closed her window, so I drove away...
I got a boot on my car for what I thought were just average parking tickets.
As it turns out, they were outstanding.