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Parking Lot Jokes

135 parking lot jokes and hilarious parking lot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parking lot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Parking Lot Short Jokes

Short parking lot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parking lot humour may include short parking spot jokes also.

  1. Saw a man in a parking lot throwing Stephen King novels at people I couldn't figure out why. Then It hit me.
  2. Parking a single car doesn't require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
  3. Women are like parking lots. The good ones are already taken and the others are either disabled, mother with child, or you pay for your time.
  4. Dating a girl with an OnlyFans is a lot like having your own private, reserved parking spot. Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.
  5. What did the mexican do when he lost his car in the parking lot? He pressed hispanic button
  6. An old guy with a horrible toupee stopped me in the parking lot to tell me this random joke...made me crack up. How do you get down from an elephant??
    YOU DON'T! You get down from a goose!!
  7. Dating is a lot like parking All the good ones are taken. The rest take a bunch of effort or are handicapped.
  8. I found $20 in the parking lot and thought to myself, what Jesus would do? So, I turned it in to wine.
  9. Did you hear about the two gay guys that got into a fight at the bar? They went out to the parking lot to exchange blows.
  10. What's the difference between parking in a designated area and parking on the street? A lot.

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Parking Lot One Liners

Which parking lot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parking lot? I can suggest the ones about parking and parking garage.

  1. What I deal with as a parking attendant… It's a lot.
  2. How many cars does it take to fill up a parking garage? A lot.
  3. What's black with white stripes and can't fly? A parking lot.
  4. I'm going through a lot right now… But the one I need to park in is just past this one.
  5. I don't see what's the big deal about driverless cars. Every parking lot is full of them.
  6. What did Vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot? Where did my van gogh
  7. Today I walked across a parking lot I guess you can say I was going through a lot.
  8. A parking lot walks into a bar They say, I'll take one for the road
  9. what's the difference between where you park and where you drive? A lot.
  10. I found a parking lot with only two spaces It's really a parking little.
  11. Where does the golfer who always gets a score of 0 park his car In the par-king lot
  12. What's big and grey and can't swim? A parking lot.
  13. How many parking spaces in front of the average store? A lot.
  14. Women are like parking lots... ... the handicapped ones are never taken.
  15. What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about parking lot can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of parking lot puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uplifting Parking Lot Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about parking lot you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean parking car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make parking lot prank.

A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm.
She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing.
She explains the advice her father had given her.
The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" 
Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"

Before marriage, men would wander parking lots aimlessly because they had no one to point out the open spots.

Irish guy in a parking lo

theres an Irish guy driving through a packed parking lot. Upset, he shouts "dear lord, if ya help me find a parkin spot I swear on me moothers grave that I will give up mah whiskey." Just then a car backed out of a spot in front of him. Suprised, he then shouts "Nevermind lord, I found one!"

An old woman joins a gang.

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.
She went to a bar where she new they hung out and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms was at the entrance.
She proclaims "I want to join your biker club."
The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?"
The little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the parking lot.
The biker asks her "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"
The little old lady says "No, never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my n**... a few times."

Itchipussy

A cougar had just finished purchasing groceries. The clerk asks if she would like any help out. The woman, seeing the bag boy was an attractive young man, she says she would. In the parking lot she sees her chance to make a move, and does:
Woman: (whispers) Hey cutie, I've got an itchipussy.
Bag boy: Look lady, all these Japanese cars look alike to me, you'll have to point it out.

Curing a nuns hiccups

A nurse is going to work, walking through the hospitals parking lot, when a nun runs past her, screaming and crying. The nurse approaches the doctor standing in the doorway and asks, "What's wrong with that nun?" "Oh," the doctors says, "I told her she was pregnant." "Oh, so she's pregnant?" "No, but it share cured her hiccups."

Drunk people are always fascinating

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars.
The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? " he asks the drunk.
"I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it. "
"So how does feeling the roof help you? " He asked the drunk.
"Well," the drunk replied. "MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!! "

I was driving one day and I rear ended a car.

We pulled into a nearby parking lot and out of the car I had hit stepped a little person, a dwarf if you will. He said "I'm not happy",so I asked "Then which one are you?"

How to make the world a better place.

How do you raise the literacy rate while simultaneously lowering the poverty ratio of a town near you?
All you have to do is drive as fast as possible through the Walmart parking lot.

World Cut Soccer

A little old Brazilian lady was walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags. One bag had a hole in it and $20 bills were flying out of it.
A policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, you're losing a lot of bills from that bag."
"Darnd!" she said, "Thanks for the warning. I'll go back and pick them up."
"Hold on there! Where'd all that money come from? Did you steal it?"
"Oh, no," she said. "My yard backs up on the stadium parking lot and, during tailgate parties, a lot of guys use my flower beds as bathrooms. So I stand behind a bush with my electric hedge clipper and when one is in mid-stream, I fire up the trimmer and say: '$20 or off it comes!'"
"Wow. Good idea!" laughed the cop. "But what's in the other bag?"
"Well," said the little old lady, "not all of them pay up!"

It's so cold outside...

I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my n**....

So apparently Richard III will remain in that parking lot they found him in.

Because nobody can afford to pay his ticket.

Irony is when

you see someone circle around the parking lot 5 times to get the spot closest to the gym

A woman bikes up to two engineers in a parking lot.

The woman takes off her clothes and tells them, "You may have anything you want."
The first engineer says, "I'll take the bike!"
The second engineer says, "Since there is nothing left, I'll take the clothes!"

What do you do if you're smoking w**... in the walmart parking lot and you see a spaceman

Park in it bruh

A boy works up the courage to ask the girl he likes on a date

The girl, liking him back, agrees to go on the date.
The boy tells her "Before we go on our date, there's something I have to tell you about myself. I only eat insects."
The girl finds this to be very strange but accepts it because she likes him.
They go out to dinner and the girl orders a steak while the boy eats an arrangement of insects he brought from home.
In the parking lot after dinner the two lock eyes, lean in, and slowly kiss each other. After the kiss the girls eyes are lit up with magic and she asks the boy how their first kiss felt.
The boy replies "I've got butterflies in my stomach."

I took my grandfather to the mall the other day

While circling the lot trying to find a place to park, he said out of nowhere "These spots are like the women my age"
I looked at him blankly.
"They're all taken or handicapped!"

Gay guys know everything...

A gay guy and a straight guy are in a car and stuck at a stoplight for a very long time. The gay guy looks at the straight guy and says
"I'm going to go, it's going to turn green anyways."
the gay guy goes and it turns green. The straight guy says,
"how'd you do that."
"Gay guys know everything." said the gay guy.
Then the two go to the mall and while they're in the parking lot the gay guy stops the straight guy and says.
"I bet you in about 4 seconds 5 hot girls come around that corner over there."
About 4 seconds later 5 hot girls walk around the corner. The straight guy says,
"how'd you do that?"
the gay guy says yet again.
"Gay guys know everything."
*At this point in the joke you say to the person "Then the two guys go up these things that are a lot like stairs but they move?" Struggle to think about what they are called and hopefully the person you're telling the joke to says "escalator." Then you say*
"Gay guys know everything..."

I Like Long Walks on the Beach

until the l**... wears off and it turns out I'm dragging a mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot

What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert?

Lots of bad pickup lines.

I read a story about a Florida man named Arti that was paid a buck to strangle 2 innocent people in a Safeway parking lot...

Oddly enough, the headline was "Artichokes 2 for $1 at Safeway"

You know, it's a proven fact a little parking never killed a bunch of trees.

But a lot did.

Snow and Ice

A blonde was driving behind a snowplow, she followed him for over an hour. finally the snowplow driver pulls over and asks her what she was doing, she said that her husband had told her that if the roads were covered in snow or ice to find a snowplow and follow it.
He Said" That's very good advice, but I'm done with the Wal-mart parking lot now.do you want to follow me to the mall?"

Why were there so many accidents in the church parking lot after the Sunday service?

Everyone was telling Jesus to take the wheel.

Why did s**... a**... man go to a gay parking lot

To rear end everyone

So a man backs into a car...

So older man backs into a car while trying to leave a parking lot. After hitting the car, the old man looks in the mirror to see a midget hop out, obviously very angry. The midget goes up to the door and yells, "You just back into me, and I'm not happy". The elderly man takes off his glasses and responds, "Well then which one are ya".

I built a rollercoaster park but it's not as good as a lot of others

It definitely has its ups and downs thiugh

My neice asked me what it was like being drunk

I said you see that tree? when you are drunk you see two or four trees
she said, there is no trees. we are in a parking lot at walmart.

Lincoln Navigator

I watched a guy in a Lincoln Navigator attempt to park in a busy restaurant parking lot. It took a friend to get out and direct him in order to wiggle into a spot. Afterwards he said to me, "now I know why they call it a navigator. It fu@*ing takes one to park it".

These two guys started arguing in the local gay bar...

It got really n**... and the bouncer escorted them out the door to finish their dispute where they could no longer break any more bar furniture or fixtures.
The two gay dudes went out into the parking lot where they exchanged blows.

An old lady was smoking and pumping gas...

Next thing I know, she's running around the parking lot, screaming, with her arm on fire. The cops showed up and arrested her for waving a firearm in public.

An Irishman is parking

An Irishman is driving around the parking lot but can't seem to find a spot. Eventually, he looks up to the sky and says, "Lord, if you'll only find me a spot, I'll never drink again." Sure enough, he turns the corner and sees a spot. He looks back up to the sky and says, "Never mind, Lord, I found one."

What has more minivans than a dealership?

A m**... church parking lot....

What's black and grey and rolls around in the parking lot of a McDonald's?

Mr. T and a pigeon fighting over a french fry.
I know it's old but it always made me laugh.

As the crowded elevator descended,

Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said,
"That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."

HANDICAPPED PARKING AT HOME DEPOT

Why do we need 24 handicapped parking spaces at Home Depot? Could we just talk about this? If a guy can spackle his bathroom, lay pipe and put up gutters, don't you think you can walk the extra 30 feet to the parking lot?

Turns out it's not always a good idea to listen to your favorite music in the car.

Toe-tappers in school parking lots become a lot less fun.

I'm incredibly stressed.

I woke up aching all over.
Couldn't even find a spot in my usual parking area.
I've been through a lot.

What did the Hindu parking lot say to the other Hindu parking lot?

You were born a lot and you're going to die a lot.

Why don't donkeys like parking lots?

Because it's always the asphalt.

d**... Sporting Goods stores have all have a summer sports section in their parking lot that is packed up in the winter months, making the stores a bit smaller.

Meaning d**... shrink when it's cold.

I saw a lady crying at the supermarket today because she had lost her money and couldn't buy diapers that she wanted to buy.

I felt so bad that I bought them for her, but it's fine because I found a 100 dollar bill at the parking lot anyways.

Back when Stormy Daniels was in high school, none of her fellow classmen realized she would go down in history.

Guys were usually getting it in the gym locker room or behind the teacher's parking lot.

Officer: This parking lot is for disabled only.

Person: Officer, the earth is flat.
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you.

When is a car no longer a car?

When it the us into a parking lot.

What do we want?

What do we want? to be precise!
When do we want it?! half past seven in the parking lot by the 7-11. Be there with a blue raspberry slurpie in hand wearing overalls.

Work switching to LED lights in the parking lot

All I can say is that it's going to be LIT

What was the man moving his hands yelling at the parking lot?

Park in, son!

Childbirth

When my wife gave birth, I asked the doctor:
\- When can we have s**...?
\- I'm running out of duty in 10 minutes, we'll meet in the parking lot.

My s**... friend is on the 'seaweed' diet...

He sees w**..., then smokes it in the parking lot at Red Lobster

If North Korea tries to pull anything, they say the international retaliation will turn it into free space for South Koreans to store their cars

In other words, a Park-Kim lot

What's the worst part of being a gay Republican?

Having to beat yourself up in the parking lots of bars.

It's STILL Not Safe to eat Romaine Lettuce...

I went to Kroger to buy some and got Robbed in the parking lot.

A man in the parking lot of a hospital had a heart attack, but someone leaving noticed and informed EMR via 9-1-1.

It was a close call.

A man was looking for a space to park his car in the parking lot of a mall...

After a lot of effort of going round and round he couldn't find an empty space so he started praying, please God help me find a parking space, I will go to church everyday for the rest of my life and would even give half of my life savings to charity..
Suddenly he sees a car pulling out of a spot..
Man : OKAY, Nevermind I found one..!!

Just after my wife had given birth I asked the doctor how long until we can have s**...?

He winked at me and said he'll meet me in the parking lot just as soon as this joke gets reposted again.

God in a parking lot

A man is struggling to find a parking space. Lord, he prays. I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.
Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man says: Never mind, I found one!

What did the magician do when he arrived at the grocery store?

He turned into the parking lot

I was at Walmart at this lady was crying because she lost her tax money and couldn't buy for her kids. I gave her $200....

...since I had just found $3,000 in the parking lot and I felt that if God has blessed me I should bless someone else.

I dropped 3 bottles of v**... in the parking lot today...

I really can't hold my liquor.

How much parking does 21 Savage have at his house?

A lot

I told my friend that "Last night there was a rear-end collision in my parking lot. After that, the drunk guy that hit the car gave me $800 and drove away". My friend asked me "Is that enough to fix it?"

I said "I don't care, it wasn't my car."

I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 am for seniors only.

A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the third time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door you'll never get in there."

I went to a discount theater performance...

Shakespeare in the parking lot.

jokes about parking lot

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these parking lot jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.