Park Ranger Jokes
18 park ranger jokes and hilarious park ranger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about park ranger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Park Ranger Short Jokes
Short park ranger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The park ranger humour may include short ranger jokes also.
- If Chippendales goes to a national park and rescues the park rangers.. Would the headline in the newspaper be Chippendales rescue rangers?
- A guy goes into the forest to have some quiet time but is immediately pulled away by a park ranger He wasn't a happy camper.
- Yellowstone park rangers have discovered a Grizzly that only eats cheese... ... it's a Camembert.
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Park Ranger Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about park ranger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lone ranger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make park ranger pranks.
In a national park, a woman stopped to watch a deer.
A man walked over to her and said, "This is red deer, Cervus elaphus, it's pleased to meet you."
Then she watched him continue to other visitors and say the same thing.
She catches up with him and asks, "Why are you doing this?"
The man responds, "The ranger told me this species hadn't been introduced here."
Czech and a Mexican
A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male
A woman goes fishing...
Just as she's about to get on the boat, the park ranger comes to her and says: "Ma'am, fishing is prohibited here. I'm gonna have to fine you."
And she responds: "But I haven't even started fishing yet."
To which he responds: "But you have the tools, right?"
So she says: "Ok then. If you fine me, then I will accuse you of r**...."
Suddenly bewildered, the ranger says: "But I didn't even touch you."
To which she responds: "But you have the tools, right?"
A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears,
Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.
So how do we know if they're grizzly bear droppings? asks one of the ramblers.
It's easy, replies the ranger. They're full of small bells.
Sandbox games
The newlyweds and young parents in town discover that the fine sand in the nearby nature resort makes for excellent sandbox sand. So people go in to get a big cart of sand and make some cheap garden sandboxes for their children. The park rangers forbid this and nobody can steal sand anymore. This guy sneaks in with a big cart and scoops it full but on his way out he sees a park ranger and starts to quickly shovel the sand out of his cart. "Oh no sir! You won't get away with it that easily!" the park ranger barks,
"You can't dump that here so take it right back home with you!"
Smoky Bear: Only YOU can prevent wildfires!
Two guys are talking about TV commercials. One of them says, So, I saw this commercial the other day where a bear dressed as park ranger said that only I could prevent wildfires.
The other guy replies, Why, that two-timing liar! The other day he told me that _I_ was the only one who could prevent them!
A man is caught feasting on a Bald Eagle by a park ranger.
He is taken to court and the judge asks him why he committed this crime.
The man replies I had no other choice and this was my only way of survival.
Given the circumstances, the judge decides that this man is telling the truth and let's him off the case. But being curious, the judge asks Well, how did it taste like?
The man replied Have you ever had Spotted Owl?
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
Brown bears vs. grizzly bears
A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.
So how do we know if they're grizzly bear droppings? asks one of the ramblers.
It's easy, replies the ranger. They're full of small bells.
A park ranger finds a man in the wilderness eating a bald eagle.
The man is arrested and brought to trial for killing a protected bird.
He pleads with the judge, "Your honor, I was lost in the wilderness for three days without food, and the eagle attacked me. I fought back in self-defense, and I ate it because I was starving."
The judge listens to the tale and rules that the man is not guilty. But he turns to the man and asks, "Well, now that we're done with all that, I admit that I am curious to know, what does bald eagle taste like?"
"Well, your honor, it's like a cross between a snowy owl and a whooping crane."
Endangered meal
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
A black man and a Czechoslovakian man are walking in the woods...
A black man and a Czechoslovakian man are walking in the woods when they are attacked by a bear. They take off running, and naturally the black man outruns the Czechoslovakian man. The bear tears the Czechoslovakian man apart and devours him.
The black man frantically sprints all the way to the nearest ranger station for help. He and the ranger head back out with a rifle to the exact spot where the Czechoslovakian was eaten and find not one, but two bears--a male and a female. The black man tells the park ranger that the male bear ate his friend, so the ranger shoots it and cuts open it's stomach, but finds nothing.
Lesson learned. Never trust a black man who says the Czech is in the male.
Probably my favorite joke ever.
Two guys are walking through the woods when they stumble upon an old abandoned mine shaft so deep that they can't see the bottom. Intrigued, one of them throws a rock into it to see how deep it is. After listening for quite a while, they never hear it hit the bottom. The other one grabs a bigger rock and hefts it down. They still don't hear it hit bottom. Now they are really curious how deep it is. After a minute of searching, one of them finds a huge railroad tie and signals for his buddy to come help. It takes a bit of work, but they wrestle it to the edge of the hole and push it over. Out of nowhere, a goat comes running right between them, jumping into the mineshaft!
Amazed at what just happened, they start walking away when a park ranger walks up and asks them if they have seen a goat anywhere.
"Yeah, one just ran right between us and jumped into that old mineshaft over there!"
"No, that couldn't be my goat," said the ranger, "mine was tied to a railroad tie."
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"