The Best 77 Park Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Park jokes. There are some park giraffic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these park streets puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Park Jokes and Puns
Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."
So a man is walking a penguin down the street...
So a man is walking a penguin down the street on a lead. A policeman sees him and stops the man.
The policeman says, "what are you doing?! Take that penguin to the zoo!"
A week later, the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.
He says, "hey, I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!"
The man replies: "I did! He loved it! We're going to the theme park tomorrow!"
3 Old Women and a Flasher
Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man
comes by and flashes them.
Two of them have a stroke, and the third one couldn't
reach.
Olympics, the new tower of Babel
The German Olympian
I met an athlete near the Olympic Park
I asked him "Are you a Pole Vaulter"?
He said "No, I'm German...
and how do you know my name?"
Two old guys were chatting in the park.
"You know, my wife and I were happy for 40 years," said one guy.
"What happened?" asked the other guy.
"We met," sighed the first.
Three old ladies
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.
The first old lady has a stroke.
The second old lady has a stroke.
The third old lady can't reach that far.
Two men in a park.
A creepy guy walks up to another man in a park.
Creepy guy leans close to the man and whispers "do you have any naked photos of your wife?"
The man angrily says "certainly not".
Creepy guy says "would you like to buy some?"
What do you do when you see a space man?
Park the car, man.
Does your dog bite?
A man walks in the park and sees a man with a dog sitting on a bench.
"Does your dog bite?", asks the first man.
"No"
The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angry.
"This is not my dog."
My mom told me this joke, it's from one of the films of 'pink panther'. I've never seen the film though.
Three old women were sitting on a park bench...
...all of a sudden, a man ran in front of them wearing a long overcoat. He opened up his coat, and he was wearing nothing underneath. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach.
The Irishman's parking space
An Irishman is trying to find a parking space outside his local pub on a busy evening, but cannot find a single one.
He looks skyward and says, "Lord, if you grant me this space, I'll come to Church every Sunday like a good Catholic should."
Low and behold, a space opens up right in front of him at which time, he looks skyward again and says, "Never mind, I found one."
You can explore park legoland reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean park plaza dad jokes. There are also park puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day
...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."
Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."
And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"
And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."
If Linkin Park plays in a forest, and no one is there to hear it,
in the end, does it even matter?
Turned up five minutes late so missed the rules...
...but I had an amazing time at this fight club last week, you should definitely look into it and maybe join, we fight in a car park every weekend.
Met a girl in the park...
Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money.
A plane just landed...
Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane."
His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up."
I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.
Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench
A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach.
My GF begged me to stop singing Linkin Park
I tried so hard.
A kid in the park told me smoking was bad for me
So I popped his ballon with my cigarette and informed him so was talking to strangers.
So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid
Guess that makes it Priustoric
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...
A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them.
Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach.
Where would you park your camel?
The Camelot.
PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment
A cat gives birth in a public park...
...and is fined $50 for littering.
Two blondes were walking in a park
...when one of them said: "Look, a dead bird!" The other one looked up in the sky and asked "where?"
Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park
They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.
I saw someone try to park a car for about 10 minutes.
I didn't see the driver so I'm not going to assume what gender she was.
Here's one from Russia
A guy is late for an important meeting but can't find a place to park.
In desperation, he begins to pray.
"Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!"
A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance.
"Never mind. Found one!"
Cop sees a blonde with a bunch of penguins in the back of her car
So he stops her and asks her what she is doing with a bunch of penguins. She says she just saw them on the road and opened the door and they got in.
"You've got to take those penguins to the zoo," he says. Next day he sees her again with the penguins still in the back of her car.
Cop: Lady I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.
Blonde: I did and we had such a good time, today we're going to the park.
I was sitting at a park one day just watching the children play...
I was sitting at a park one day just watching the children play.
A mother came up to me and said, "So, which one is yours?"
I looked over the playground and said, "You know, I haven't decided yet."
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today..
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then.
God, I love my new Taser...
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a long coat walks up to them and exposes himself...
The first old lady says, "My goodness!" and immediately has a stroke. The second lady, seeing the first lady, also has a stroke. The third lady couldn't reach.
A woman is at the park with her son when he starts misbehaving.
She looks at him sternly and says "If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"
1...
2...
2 and a half...
2 and three quarters...
2 and five sevenths...
Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, and we're looking for a new Vice President. I think you're just what we're looking for. Call me on Monday and we'll talk.
A boy was eating chocolate...
A boy was sitting in a park eating a bar of chocolate. After finishing it, he opened another one and started eating that too. Then the man sitting next to him said
"Do you know that you're damaging your teeth there son?"
"My grandfather lived for a 132 years" the boy replied.
"Was it because of eating chocolate?" the man asked curiously
"No. He knew how to mind his own business."
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.
2 men are sitting on a bench in a park, filled with children. Kids are having fun.
Man 1: "Kids are amazing. Look at them, playing, socializing... so cute!"
Man 2: "Yup."
Man 1: "My Timmy, right over there, likes to play soccer with his friends."
Man 2: "Cool."
Man 1: "Hey, which one is yours?"
Man 2: "Haven't decided yet..."
As a woman it's annoying when men think they are better drivers
When I'm trying to park I don't need you to offer help every 20 minutes
I put a bumper sticker on my car that says "honk if I'm pretty"
Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights
Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park...
Asked him "Why are you eating grass?"
He said "I am very hungry."
"Oh. Okay then. Come with me."
You should've seen his face when I showed him my backyard.
I like playing chess with bald people in the park
The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them
Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park...
but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm obsessed with Linkin park
But in the end it doesn't even matter
Got a parking ticket the other day for being parked illegally.
Not sure why. The sign clearly said 'Fine for parking'.
A man parks his car. As he is getting out a traffic warden walks up and says, "I'm sorry sir, you can't park your car here." .....
...."Yes I can" says the man. "The sign there says, 'Fine for Parking'!"
Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier on.
He was on crack, she was on blow.
Parking a single car doesn't require much space.
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park.
It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.
A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.
Three Old Ladies Sitting on a park bench.
Three old ladies are sitting in the park. Just chatting it up on a park bench like old ladies will do.
Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and opens his coat and flashes them with all that god had given him to offer.
Well, the first old lady immediately has a stroke.
The second old lady has a stroke soon after.
The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn't reach that far.
Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.
One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:
"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."
Two homeless dudes sit on a park bench
One askes the other: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?
The other replies: No, I eat them without the bread.
I met a beautiful girl down at the park today
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet, and we wound up having sex right then and there!
Gosh I love my new taser
I was watching an old man feeding birds at the park when I thought to myself...
"i wonder how long he's been dead for..?"
My wife gave birth this morning I said to the doctor How long will it be before we can have sex?
He winked at me and said Meet me in the car park in twenty minutes......
I like to play chess with old bald men in the park
But it's hard to find 32 of them
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.
All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.
One old lady had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.
A zookeeper wishes to buy some new animals from another wildlife park.
She writes:
Dear sir, We are a recently opened zoo and are looking to purchase 2 mooses. "No that doesn't sound right." She thinks.
We are looking to purchase 2 meese. "No that can't be right either."
Dear sir, I wish to inquire about purchasing a moose. Kind Regards.
P.S. Please send another moose along with the first.
Two old guys are sitting in a park and talking
The first guy says: "You know, I went to a brothel the other day"
"Oh yeah? And what happened?"
"I banged for two hours!"
"Two hours?! At your age?!"
"Yeah, and those whores still wouldn't let me in"
Why is it that your dogs have to be vaccinated to go to the park and daycare, but your kids don't have to be?
Because it's sad when a dog dies.
3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park...
Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...
Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?
Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.
The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...
Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?
Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head
This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says...
Girl 3: AAAARRRGHFFFFJJJFSSSLLLHHH
Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."
3 old ladies
3 old ladies were sitting on a park bench. A flasher comes over and rips open his raincoat. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady couldn't reach it.
An employee sees his boss arrive at work one day in a brand new Lamborghini.
The employee goes out to the car park and says to his boss Wow that's an amazing car! I wish I had one just like it, that must have cost you a pretty penny!
The boss stands up, looks the employee in the face and says Yes, it did. And do you know something? Next year, if you work really hard, and you do your overtime, and you save your pennies, and you do your absolute best then maybe...
The employee, mystified and excited for what comes next, says yes...
The boss looks into the employees eyes and says then maybe... I'll have another one next year.
I realized that I can't take my dog to the park anymore. He keeps getting attacked by ducks.
I guess that's the last time I buy a pure bread dog.
I can't take my dog to the park anymore. He keeps getting attacked by ducks.
I guess that's the last time I buy a pure bread dog.
Watching my daughter at the park earlier.
Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
My girlfriend just broke up with me due to my linkin park obsession.
...But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Two women are sitting on a bench in the park.
First woman says
have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?
Second woman replies
no, but I have been swung around by my tits
An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space
Lord , he prays, I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.
The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, Actually never mind, I've found one.
An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading the Tehran Times
A friend sees him and says, "Oy, Moishe! How can you read that rag? Don't you know the things they say about us?"
To which the man replies, "Well, I used to read to read the Jewish papers, but they're so depressing. Every headline is 'Jews Being Persecuted!' 'Jews Living in Poverty!' 'Jews Being Oppressed!'. But now I read these Arab papers and the headlines are all 'Jews Own All the Banks!' 'Jews Control the Media!' 'Jews Run the World!'. It's much more uplifting!"
My wife left me & ran off with my best friend. But I'm not too worried.
After all, how far can they get in a dog park?
Where do cats go for fun?
An a-mews-ment park
I took my dog to the water park once...
It was against the rules but they let it slide
How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland?
Welcome to the Park side.
A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears,
Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.
So how do we know if they're grizzly bear droppings? asks one of the ramblers.
It's easy, replies the ranger. They're full of small bells.
A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.
It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.
Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. The priest hastily covers his crotch, while the rabbi hides his face behind his hands.
When the ladies have passed, the priest asks:
"Why didn't you cover your private parts?"
To which the rabbi replies:
"Well, MY congregation recognizes me by my face. "
Two women are talking sitting on a park bench
One woman says, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?"
The other says, "No, but I have been swung around by my tits."
3 men went to a theme park
and walked up to a ride that said "magic slide". The 1st man read the sign and went down the slide yelling "gold!" Landed in a pit of gold. 2nd man read the sign, went down the slide yelling "silver!" Landed in a pot of silver. The 3rd man didn't bother reading the sign and just went down the slide yelling "wee!" Landed in a pot of wee.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the park playground jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working park yosemite piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.