Parishioners Jokes
9 parishioners jokes and hilarious parishioners puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parishioners that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Parishioners Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What is a good parishioners joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took at a card and wrote Revelations 3:20 on the back of it and stuck it to the door.
When the offering was taken the following Sunday, the pastor found his card had been returned. Along with the verse he had written, he found another cryptic message: Genesis 3:10 .
When he checked his Bible to discover what this could mean, the pastor began to chuckle.
Revelations 3:20 reads behold, I stand at the door and knock . Genesis 3:10 says, I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**....
A funny joke indeed
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**...."
After church on Sundays, the priest always sees parishioners in private. This Sunday, Mary came to him in tears.
What happened? asked the priest?
Oh father, last evening my husband died.
That's terrible! Did your husband have any last wishes?
Yes he did.
What did he say?
I beg of you, Mary. Put down the gun!
Socrates' Beloved
Socrates beloved dog died. He went to his Greek priest and asked if he could arrange a regular church service for his dearly departed. The priest was outraged and berated the parishioner for suggesting his dog receive holy services. Dismayed, Socrates turned away mumbling, 'Now what am I to do with the five thousand Euros we saved for the serviced?' 'Good Lord, my son, come back; why didn't you say he was Orthodox?'
A Priest congratulates the elderly married couple for 60 yrs of marriage...
"So, how'd you do it?" the Priest asks the elderly man. "Any wisdom you give might help some of our younger parishioners who are just recently married."
The man pauses and thinks for a minute. He answers matter-of-factly, "Going out to dinner twice a week saved our marriage."
The priest nodded and then raised an eyebrow. "Twice a week? That's got to be pretty expensive!"
"Not at all," said the old man. "She goes out on Thursdays, and I go out on Sundays."
A parishioner compliments the minister after a sermon, saying, "Reverend, your words today were akin to the peace and love of God."
"Thank you," responds the minister, "Why do you say that?"
The parishioner explains, " Because the peace of God passes all understanding, and the love of God endures forever."
A priest was going to meet a parishioner for lunch
As he was getting ready to leave, he noticed he had forgotten to put on his white priest's collar. He looked and looked, but alas, couldn't find one. He asked another priest, "Do you have a collar I can borrow? One of the parishioners asked me if I could meet up for lunch to discuss some problems."
The other priest says, "Sure, no problem. Happens to everyone - a lay date and a collar short."
I was fired from my Job as a Pastor the other day when a parishioner asked me who came first, Adam or Eve?
Apparently, 'Depends how good they were in bed' wasnt the right answer.
The Pope, four cardinals, and 17 bishops walk into a Church.
A parishioner sees this ensemble and says, Oh Christ, He's coming!
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