Parenting Jokes
46 parenting jokes and hilarious parenting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parenting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article focuses on parenting jokes to highlight the lighter side of parenting. It looks into how jokes can be used to address various aspects of parenting from the good to the bad. It also touches on topics such as co-parenting, spousal parenting, and Christian parenting. Discover how a sense of humour can bring levity to the parenting experience.
Quick Jump To
- Short Parenting Jokes
- Parenting One Liners
- Bad Parenting Jokes
- Christian Parenting Jokes
- Newborn Parenting Jokes
- Parenting Skills Jokes
- More Parenting Jokes
Funniest Parenting Short Jokes
Short parenting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parenting humour may include short parenthood jokes also.
- Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney world and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
- My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again. Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
- I saw a girl crying, so I asked her Where are your parents? and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- Having homosexual parents must be terrible Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of go ask your mom
- When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
- What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.
- Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes. - Remember crying as a kid and your parents told you 'I'll give you something to cry about!' and you expected a beating but instead they just ruined the housing market?
- Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"
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Parenting One Liners
Which parenting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parenting? I can suggest the ones about parent child and parent teacher.
- What did the Indian kid say to his parents when he left for school Mum bai
- What are a trans parents pronouns Who/where
- My parents told me ANYONE could become president. I didn't know it was a warning.
- I bet you can't name a useless, non functioning member of society. My parents did.
- My parents named me after my older brother. And before my younger brother.
- I've decided to marry a pencil I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B
- I googled "Rorschach Test" But all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting
- My parents treat me like a god. They dont believe in me.
- Raising children is hard as a trans parent They see right through me
- Chinese kid was born before the due date Parents named him Sudden Lee.
- Why do midgets make bad parents? Cause they struggle to put food on the table
- When i was born I was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for two years
- My parents tried to surprise me with a car this Christmas... Fortunately they missed.
- How can you tell my parents are abusive? Beats me
- I just turned 18 and my parents tried to surprise me with a car They missed
Bad Parenting Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad parenting jokes and even better bad parenting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was the gambler obsessed with getting to heaven? He heard it was a pair of dice.
Courtesy of my 8 year old. I'm a bad parent. - I feel bad for children of gay parents They either suffer from twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mother"
- I feel bad for children of gay parents They either have to deal with twice as many dad jokes, or be stuck in an endless cycle of "go ask your mom"
- *Canada's first Professional Soccer team has made it to FIFA* That's to bad eh, they're parents could'nt afford hockey equipment growing up.
- How do parents punish their blind children for bad behaviour? They rearange the furniture.
- When I was born I was circumcised... It hurts so bad I didn't walk for year. In fact, I was so upset with my parents I didn't talk to them for like 18 months!
- Mom: Gary, am I a bad parent? Son: My name is Dave...
- Schools should teach useful things such as parenting skills to children. Okay, that's not a good idea. Children will immediately realize that they have bad parents.
- Did you hear about that girl from Boston who got in trouble for being a bad dancer? She told her parents that she was an erratic dancer.
- As a kid growing up in the Vietnam I could always tell how well the economy was by what type of dog food my parents bought. Chihuahua when it was bad, Black lab when it was good.
Christian Parenting Jokes
Here is a list of funny christian parenting jokes and even better christian parenting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Christian kids be like: Hey, my parents are not home for the weekend.. ..so you can't come over.
- As a Christian... I really wish my parents had named me Dave, or something like that instead.
Newborn Parenting Jokes
Here is a list of funny newborn parenting jokes and even better newborn parenting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A woman gave birth in a Barnes & Noble. Out of habit, the parents looked over the newborn baby, then went home and bought a cheaper baby on Amazon
- There is something holy about every newborn child. Especially if the parents prevented with condoms.
Parenting Skills Jokes
Here is a list of funny parenting skills jokes and even better parenting skills puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- One of the most important skill my parents taught me is... How to tell what is junk mail and real mail.
Quirky and Hilarious Parenting Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about parenting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parental leave jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parenting pranks.
I couldn't join the k**... if I wanted to, my bloodline isn't pure enough.
Turns out my parents weren't even related.
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, I'll give you a reason to cry!?"
I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
The first time I had s**..., it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, This is a bit awkward.
I grunted, Just ignore them.
A wife comes home late one night
She quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.
It was an autobiography...
