The Best 19 Parenting Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Parenting jokes. There are some parenting keen jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these parenting olympians puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Parenting Jokes and Puns

I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until

I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!

My dad rewards me when I earn a good report card, but any C s are punished with unbearable dad-jokes.

He likes to call it the carrot and schtick method of parenting.

Biblical Parenting Techniques

Joseph: What should we do about Jesus acting up in school?

Mary: I don't know it's not like raising the Son of God came with Emmanuel

Parenting joke, Biblical Parenting Techniques

Parenting is stressful! Parenting is a sacrifice, it's exhausting, it's expensive and at times it feels thankless but….

Eventually you die! -Jim Gaffigan

I've started to take the SJW movement seriously and have applied it to my parenting style

It's why I'm ignoring all my 10-month olds privileged white male tears.

Neymar, the Brazilian football player, had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.

"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f*****g floor," replied the baby....

Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting.

But no gorillas were shot on my watch.

Parenting joke, Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting.

I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face...

...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard

Someday, I will make a great dad....

I don't have any parenting experience, but I *can* tell terrible jokes.

Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.

The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.

Michael Jackson has the best parenting advice.

Just beat it.

You can explore parenting child reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean parenting why parents get gray dad jokes. There are also parenting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


As parents we wish we could just disappear to some far away land. Then we remember no matter where we go some little hand will be tugging at us asking, what's for dinner?

Parenting is sometimes like being a criminal

For instance when I'm in the kitchen and yell "Stay back! I have a knife"

What is expected of you between friends but unwelcome in parenting?

Holler at your boy!

Parenting 101

1. Pour milk on floor.

2. Ask which kid did it.

3. Send them to their rooms when they don't admit it.

4. Enjoy peaceful evening.

You got problems with parenting...

You start to get headaches. I follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two and keep away from children."

Parenting joke, You got problems with parenting...


Said the Jamaican, when he saw the yellowy-green fruit.

Stevie Wonder's parenting is called into question

Apparently, he hasnt seen his children in years.

Giving a child alcohol is child abuse...

In Canada. In the U.S. it's fine. In Russia it's good parenting.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the parenting families jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working parenting toddlers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes