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Parenthood Jokes

57 parenthood jokes and hilarious parenthood puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parenthood that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out this funny take on parenthood! Read on for some of the best jokes about parenthood, including funny anecdotes about being a parent and stories about precocious children. From jokes about pregnancy planning to funny dad stories, these jokes will have you laughing about parenthood!

Funniest Parenthood Short Jokes

Short parenthood jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parenthood humour may include short parenting jokes also.

  1. What's the worst part about locking your key in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
  2. I got fired from my job at Planned Parenthood My boss didn't like me saying Takeout or delivery? whenever someone walked in the door
  3. What's the worst part about locking yourself out of your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger
  4. Our local planned parenthood refuses to provide homeless women with abortions. They say beggars can't be choosers.
  5. If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO
  6. I really didn't have a great childhood so I went to planned parenthood They kicked me out though. I don't understand I thought that place was suppose to bring out the kid In you.
  7. I accidentally locked my keys inside my car outside of a planned parenthood Going inside to ask for a hanger was pretty akward.......
  8. How do you get a billionaire to donate their fortune to Planned Parenthood? Take them to a PG rated movie.
  9. If you want to keep unwanted people out of America, Instead of building a wall, don't defund Planned Parenthood
  10. when protesters are about to surround a Planned Parenthood and the cops show up do you think they yell "Abort! Abort!"

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Parenthood One Liners

Which parenthood one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parenthood? I can suggest the ones about parent child and paternity.

  1. What do you call it when two flowers have a child? Plant parenthood.
  2. What is the worst STD of all? Parenthood
  3. Where do bees go to learn about pollinating tulips? PLANT PARENTHOOD
  4. Where does the gardener go to get rid of her unwanted flowers? Plant Parenthood
  5. Planned Parenthood as a train: Conductor: All Aboorrttttttt!
  6. I wonder if the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooter had a Plan B?
  7. Thank you for calling Planned Parenthood... Will this be for delivery or take-out?
  8. Where did the cactus go for an abortion? Plant Parenthood
  9. I have an idea to defund planned parenthood. Just name Carly Fiorina as its CEO
  10. I asked a grape about parenthood But it didn't know much about baby raisin.
  11. Black Friday Does anyone know if Planned Parenthood has a Black Friday sale?
  12. Did you hear that Planned Parenthood came out with a new game? It's called Abortnite.
  13. Planned Parenthood name Is the exact opposite of what people go there for
  14. Why are people so mad at the NRA? It's Planned Parenthood that sells arms.
  15. I heard flowers make great parents It's probably because of plant parenthood.

Planned Parenthood Jokes

Here is a list of funny planned parenthood jokes and even better planned parenthood puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Putting the new dry cleaner shop next to the Planned Parenthood was probably a bad idea. All those discarded wire hangers in the dumpster aren't helping the cause.
  • What do you call Planned Parenthood locations in Eastern Europe? a-borsch-tion clinics
  • Told my coworker she was really killing it today, and she started crying. Not my fault, I didn't know she was going to planned parenthood later
  • At college football games, there's advertisements everywhere. Companies love presenting moments of the game. Though it was ironic seeing Planned Parenthood presenting the "Delivery of the Game."
  • Imagine there was a government agency called Planned Parenthood that euthanized old racists.
  • You ever lock your keys in your car at a Planned Parenthood? Kinda awkward asking them for a coat hanger to unlock your car
  • Being a second child my parents always told me that unlike my sister I was planned What they failed to mention was the parenthood part
  • With the likelihood of Roe v. Wade being overturned abortion provides should start diversifying. Product development idea: Planned Parenthood brand coat hangers
  • Why is it called "Planned Parenthood?" The people who go there obviously didn't plan for it to happen.
  • They say America is really divided right now... But with all the Planned Parenthood closings, I think we're about to multiply.
Parenthood joke, They say America is really divided right now...

Cheeky Parenthood Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about parenthood you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pregnancy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parenthood pranks.

One of the joys of parenthood is snuggling into your child's bed with them when there's a thunderstorm to make sure they aren't frightened...

Although my daughter has started hinting that she and her husband can manage perfectly well on their own.

A Jewish mother walks by a planned parenthood and sees a protestor who's sign says life begins at conception

She goes up to the man and says that may be true of Christian babies, but a Jewish fetus isn't viable until it graduates medical school!

It always shocks me when people say republicans are anti-communists

With trying to make abortions i**..., get rid of birth control, defund planned parenthood, those all are textbook examples of seizing the means of reproduction.

Where do plants go after having s**... for the first time?

Plant Parenthood

What would you call Laura Croft if she worked at Planned Parenthood?

w**... Raider

Every time a character in a TV Show says another round please they're immediately handed a drink by an attentive bartender.

But every time I do it all they say is:
For the last time, I'm not a bartender. This is planned parenthood. You need to leave.
Like okay! I get it I'm not rich and famous!

Preparations for parenthood.

Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.

Men: to prepare for paternity, go to your local drug store, dump the contents of your wallet on the counter and give it the pharmacist. Then, go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary direct-deposit to their headquarters. Go home, pick up the paper and read it for the very last time.

Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

Parenthood joke, I have an idea to defund planned parenthood.

jokes about parenthood