Parasite Jokes
34 parasite jokes and hilarious parasite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parasite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funny side of having parasites with these hilarious jokes! From puns about tics, to humorous stories about parasite symptoms to comical discussions of inflammation, this article will have you laughing out loud. Find out why a parasite can spice up any conversation.
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Funniest Parasite Short Jokes
Short parasite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parasite humour may include short virus jokes also.
- Girls hate it when I suddenly send them photographs of parasites Turns out, no one wants unsolicited tick pics
- The etymology of the word "politics" is surprisingly accurate. "poly" meaning "many", and tics meaning "small bloodsucking parasites."
- Scientists have recently discovered the existence of a mentally unstable microscopic parasite on the moon... Apparently it's a real lunatic
- I failed my Biology test yesterday I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain.
Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer. - When two organisms mutually benefit, it's called "symbiosis" When only one organism benefits, it's called "parasitism." When neither benefits, that's called "marriage."
- "Welcome to the 41st Annual meeting of the Ohio Parasites Club" "I'm Andrew Smith, and I'll be your host for the day"
- Tapeworms built a plane, but it didnt fly very fast. Turns out they forgot to account for parasite drag.
- I once had a shy parasite attached to me that would occasionally cause me to spasm. It was a nervous tic.
- Both my brothers have parasites, I feel bad for them. They're really annoying but they grow on you.
- What do you call it when an underwater explorer gets bitten by a bloodsucking parasite? Diverticulitis.
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Parasite One Liners
Which parasite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parasite? I can suggest the ones about predator and insect.
- What do you call a brain eating parasite in The USA? Malnourished.
- I feel guilty about this parasite I ingested. It's been eating me up inside.
- What do partygoers and parasites have in common? They use the host for food.^^^sorry
- What kind of parasite do Senators have? Poli-ticks.
- What's the collective noun for a group of bloodsucking parasites? A Senate.
- What parasites do candy get? What parasites do candy get?
-Gummy Worms - What do you call a parasite DJ? deadlau5
- Why did the parasites leave the party? Bad host.
- Why are the landmarks in Paris quarantined? Because they are parasites
- what happens to your vision when your eyes get a viral infection? You get parasite
- What do you call a robot with 11-inch parasites inside of it A Metal Defector
- What kind of parasites do gangstas get? t**... Lice.
Hilarious Parasite Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about parasite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parasite pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
j**... Springer passed away.
The cause of death was a rare parasite…
…..j**... was the perfect host.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a lawyer and head lice?
One is a blood s**... parasite that is hard to get out of your hair, and the other can be killed with a special shampoo.
A horse goes to the vet complaining about stomach pains.
After some tests, the vet confirms it's a parasite. He gives the horse a prescription and tells him to come back if the problem persists.
The horse looks at the prescription, and becomes visibly nervous. "A dewomer? Are you sure it's safe?"
"Positive," says the vet, "it's been tested on people."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL: Where does the word "politics" come from.
From poly, Greek for many, and tics, English for pesky parasites.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I love studying blood-s**... parasites…
Really get into the nitty gritty of things and find out what makes them tick.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an eel and a lawyer?
One's an ugly, slimy, scaly, cold blooded parasitic s**...-s**... bottom-feeder,
and the other is a fish that's shaped like a snake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a lawyer and a leach
One is a spineless bloodsucking parasite, the other is a literal worm.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So the government shut down...
I saw my senator with a sign that said, "Will lie, cheat, and steal for food."
Or
now my senator has to lie, cheat, and steal for free.
Or
so will my senator stop lying, cheating, and stealing?
Take your pick or insert your parasite of choice. And don't forget to tip your waitresses.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does my wife and a blood s**... parasite have in common?
Nothing. I love my wife and she supports me in all that we do
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between a wife and a parasite?
At least a parasite won't leave you for someone else after s**... everything out of you.
