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Paramedics Jokes

53 paramedics jokes and hilarious paramedics puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about paramedics that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Paramedics Short Jokes

Short paramedics jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The paramedics humour may include short ambulance jokes also.

  1. My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
  2. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex Now she'll know what rejection feels like
  3. A Jewish man gets hit by a car... in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital the paramedic asks "are you comfortable?"
    the Jewish man shrugs. "I make a living."
  4. After a crazy night on the town, all I can remember before blacking out is paramedics approaching me with a stretcher. I guess I got carried away.
  5. It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance. I really shouldn't be a paramedic.
  6. Our dad died because we couldn't remember his blood type to tell the paramedics... ...he kept telling us to 'be positive' right until the end, but that's just the type of guy he was.
  7. When the paramedics asked if I knew my injured ex-girlfriend's blood type, I gave them the wrong one. Now she'll get to know what rejection feels like
  8. Blood type My father died while the paramedics were trying to figure out his blood type he kept saying Be Positive but it's just so hard.
  9. How did the paramedics know Paul Walker had clean hair? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box
  10. I drove past an accident involving an ice cream truck. It must have been pretty bad because I heard one of the paramedics say that it looks like they lost a few pints.

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Paramedics One Liners

Which paramedics one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with paramedics? I can suggest the ones about emergency services and emergency nurse.

  1. Yo Mama is so ugly If Bill Cosby found her unconscious he'd call the paramedics
  2. What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out? A paramedics.
  3. What did the paramedic said to the badly injured power ranger? It is morphine time!
  4. Why do they always send out two EMT's? So there will be a paramedics.
  5. What do you call two guys in an ambulance? paramedics
  6. What do you call a medic who jumps out of a plane? A paramedic.
  7. What do you call 2 medics? paramedics
  8. Paramedics When one medic just isn't enough
  9. What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians? A paramedic(s)!
  10. Why do paramedics always drink coffee? Because they don't have time for casual-tea!
  11. Why do mumble rappers have neck tattoos? So the paramedics know it was fentanyl.
  12. What the first question a paramedic should ask the patient? Are you a republican?
  13. When I go running, I meet new people.... Mostly paramedics.
  14. What do you call a couple of doctors? Paramedics....
  15. what do you call gay paramedics? First-AIDS

Paramedics joke, what do you call gay paramedics?

Comical Paramedics Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about paramedics you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire fighters jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make paramedics pranks.

On the day of Michael Jackson's death

The two paramedics arrive at Neverland Ranch to find Michael unconscious and not breathing.
The rookie says to the veteran "What should we try first?"
"I reckon the roller coaster."

Car Accident

Two paramedics arrived at the scene of a car c**.... The driver of the car was still sitting in his seat, screaming his head off. One of the paramedics tried to calm him down.
"Pull yourself together, man" he says. "At least you haven't gone through the windshield like your passenger" He points at a girl lying unconscious on the side of the road.
The driver replied "You haven't seen what's in her mouth"

A Jewish man is in a car accident.

A Jewish man is in a car accident and is laying bleeding on the side of the road. A cop runs up, and rolls him on his back. He looks down on him and says, "the paramedics are coming. Are you comfortable?"
The Jewish guy say, "eh... I make a decent living."

Elvis was driving down the highway when he got into an accident.

The paramedics found him and realised he was in shock and so they told him, "Mr. Presley, we need you to step out of the vehicle, you're all shook up."
"Uhuh huh"

As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face:

I'm having a s**....

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.'

He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'
So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?
The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?

I walked in last night to find a paramedic crouching over my wife. Get your lips off my wife,

I snapped pulling him off her. But sir, I'm not kissing her! He pleaded. She's stopped breathing.
Do I need to repeat myself?

My friend just died in front of us...

The paramedics working on him asked us his blood type to help save him, but we didn't know it.
He kept telling us all to be positive ...but it's so hard now that he's gone.
We miss him so much.

Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?

Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.

My grandpa died last year

My grandpa died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him..

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive", but it's hard without him.

A Man Walks Into A French Restaurant And Orders Fish...

The waiter brings out his order and the man begins to eat it. After about fifteen minutes, the man keels over and dies. The waiter, panicking, calls the paramedics. When they arrive, they examine the body of the deceased man.
"Well?" asks the concerned waiter "What killed this poor man?"
One of the paramedics solemnly looks into the eyes of waiter and simply replies "Poisson"

A doctor sees a brains for sale sign in front of a shop.

He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?

My dad died last year...

My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the paramedics to give him a transfusion.
As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive," but it's hard without him.

We lost our Dad yesterday. He bled out after a terrible accident. The paramedics asked if we knew his blood type, but we didn't.

As he died he whispered "Be Positive" but it sure is gonna be tough without him.

After 4 months without the gym I finally went back and a great weight was lifted off my shoulders

After they removed the weight, the paramedics then took me to the hospital for extensive surgery.

Dave knows everyone joke

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the f**... is that on the balcony with Dave?’

Always pray in English...

Mr. Sharma, a Hindu suffered a heart attack. The paramedics arrived and put Mr. Sharma in the ambulance and raced towards the hospital. Realizing his time had come, Mr. Sharma started reciting the Hindu prayer, "Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om..."
10 minutes later the paramedics brought him back to his house. His wife was aghast and asked the paramedics why they brought him back home?
The paramedics replied, "as soon as we were on our way, he kept shouting hurry home, hurry home, hurry home, so we brought him back..."

little red riding hood was involved in an accident.

Paramedics are on the scene but she's not out of the woods yet.

Red Riding Hood was attacked on her way to grandma's house.

Paramedics are on the scene but she's not out of the woods yet.

Blonde in a car c**....

Blonde says to the paramedic, "I think I have concussion."
Paramedic asks the blonde, "How many fingers have I got up?"
Blonde screams, "Oh my God, "I'm paralyzed from the waist down."

Due to the cost of living crisis, a paramedic has had to take a second job as a Buzzfeed writer.

Their first article was on the 2 best forms of resuscitation.
Number 1 was CPR,

Number 2... WILL SHOCK YOU

Paramedics joke, Yo Mama is so ugly

jokes about paramedics