JokoJokes

Parade Jokes

55 parade jokes and hilarious parade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some new laughs? Check out these Parade Magazine jokes, including dark humor, corny jokes, bad puns and classic Christmas and Halloween jokes. You'll be sure to get a laugh out of readers whether they're fans of the Indianapolis Colts, the Taliban, or a fiesta parade!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Parade Short Jokes

Short parade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parade humour may include short carnival jokes also.

  1. Why doesn't America parade its new military hardware and tanks down main street like other countries? Because they prefer to parade it down main street IN other countries.
  2. As a programmer, I may not be able to set up a parade... But I can make an array of floats...
  3. Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive. This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.
  4. Why did the polka band start playing during the parade? They couldn’t resist the urge to polka around!
  5. The Kennedys Everyone says Teddy kennedy was the big alcoholic of the family. But when you think about it, it was John who was taking shots in the middle of his own parade!
  6. How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A hundred thousand. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest for holding the parade.
  7. What's the difference between sports and politics? In sports, it is the winners that march down the street (parade).
  8. "So, Mrs. Kennedy, how was that parade?" "Mind blowing"
  9. Do you know why February is black history month? Because It's the shortest month of the year, and it's too cold to have a parade.
  10. 2 Boys Arrested at independence day Parade One boy was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.
    They charged one and let the other one off.

Share These Parade Jokes With Friends




Parade One Liners

Which parade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parade? I can suggest the ones about rally and marathon.

  1. Why do gay people have parades in June? Because Pride comes before the fall!
  2. Why did the buffalo farmer go to the pride parade? He had a bison.
  3. If January threw a parade Would February March?
    No, but April May
  4. What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade? We Will Rock You.
  5. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line
  6. What Do They Call a Pride Parade in Saudi Arabia? A Massacre
  7. Never trust someone that enjoys a Soviet Parade There are a lot of red flags.
  8. I tried to rain on your parade... ...but I mist.
  9. JUNE (to Yoda): Do you think April will march in the parade? YODA: March April may, June.
  10. Happy National Parade Day!!! March Fourth!!!
    Told to me by my 6 y/o daughter
  11. Why did the Avengers have the best float at the parade? They had a gigantic Banner!
  12. How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA? He was all over his wife at the parade
  13. Chuck Norris When Chuck Norris goes to a pride parade, everyone goes straight home..
  14. A kid got ran over passing out candy at a parade... He got his tootsie rolled
  15. Why should you always bring money to LBGT pride parades? Trans-action fees

Parade joke, Why should you always bring money to LBGT pride parades?

Comical Parade Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about parade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pageant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parade pranks.

Need help: looking for parade jokes. (I know, right?)

I was asked to announce the 4th of July parade in my small hometown. Was wondering if anyone here has been at a parade and heard something funny.
The only thing to work off of right now is that Josh Duhmel is announcing the 4th of July parade in a larger town about 20 minutes away.
Thanks

The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots.

They must feel really deflated.

How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

Drive a bus through a pride parade

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

The way I see it, the March for Science has really turned out to be more of a parade for science puns than an actual protest.

And I'm totally Oxygen-Potassium with that.

Bulls on a Parade

On a hot sunny day, I went to a record store. A song was playing on the speakers. Angrily, I picked up a hammer and started b**... the speaker system.
The confused owner asked, "What is this?"
I said, "Rage Against the Machine."

Police: How'd you kill 30 people?

Redhead: I was over speeding when all of a sudden the brakes failed. I had two options. There was a parade on one side and a couple walking on the other side.
Police: Why didn't you hit the couple?
Redhead: I did, but as soon as I turned the car towards them, they started running towards the parade.

Things have gotten so bad in The US that during the last parade they surrounded Donald Trump with bullet proof glass.

Just because he's a White guy with mental health issues doesn't mean he's gonna start shooting up the crowd

A French teacher asks her new class if any of them know any French.

Young Johnny lets out a parade of F-bombs-
"Whoa! Hey now?! Who told you that was French?" interrupted the teacher.
"My dad. He is always asking people to pardon his French".

Why do french tanks have 6 gears?

5 for reverse, 1 for parade.

At a may day parade, a very old Jew is carrying a placard which reads:

"Thank you, comrade Stalin, for my happy childhood!" A Party representative approaches the old man.
"What's that? Are you mocking our Party? Everyone can see that when you were a child, comrade Stalin hadn't yet been born!"
The old man replies, "That is precisely why I am grateful to him!"

An assistant to Donald Trump

>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** 
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.** 
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!** 
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"** 
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**

What do you call a straight pride parade?

A traffic jam.

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together

After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

Did you hear about the Pride Parade float that fell over?

Apparently it was top-heavy

A man an a boy walk into a barbershop

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

Putin goes to fortune teller to find out his future.

She says:
"I see you on the car, arriving to a parade, there's an enormous crowd, they're crying for happiness when they see you, everybody is happy".
"Great! I'll lead the parade, who I will handshake with?"
"Nobody, your coffin will be closed".

A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parade for him the next day. He remembers that the day before he shipped out three years earlier, he left a pair of dress shoes at the shoemaker's for repair.

He finds the receipt ticket and rushes to the shoemaker's to get them. The shoemaker examines the ticket and disappears into the back for a couple of minutes. When he returns he says, "They'll be ready Thursday."

Parade joke, A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parad

jokes about parade