Parade Jokes
55 parade jokes and hilarious parade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some new laughs? Check out these Parade Magazine jokes, including dark humor, corny jokes, bad puns and classic Christmas and Halloween jokes. You'll be sure to get a laugh out of readers whether they're fans of the Indianapolis Colts, the Taliban, or a fiesta parade!
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Funniest Parade Short Jokes
Short parade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parade humour may include short carnival jokes also.
- Why doesn't America parade its new military hardware and tanks down main street like other countries? Because they prefer to parade it down main street IN other countries.
- As a programmer, I may not be able to set up a parade... But I can make an array of floats...
- Why did the polka band start playing during the parade? They couldn’t resist the urge to polka around!
- The Kennedys Everyone says Teddy kennedy was the big alcoholic of the family. But when you think about it, it was John who was taking shots in the middle of his own parade!
- What's the difference between sports and politics? In sports, it is the winners that march down the street (parade).
- The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots. They must feel really deflated.
- The way I see it, the March for Science has really turned out to be more of a parade for science puns than an actual protest. And I'm totally Oxygen-Potassium with that.
- Why are Gay and Lesbian parades always held in the Summer? Because Pride comes before a Fall.
- What's long and green and has a low I.Q.? A St. Patrick's Day Parade.
- The army is celebrating gay pride and are having a parade
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Parade One Liners
Which parade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parade? I can suggest the ones about rally and marathon.
- Why did the buffalo farmer go to the pride parade? He had a bison.
- What Do They Call a Pride Parade in Saudi Arabia? A Massacre
- Never trust someone that enjoys a Soviet Parade There are a lot of red flags.
- I tried to rain on your parade... ...but I mist.
- JUNE (to Yoda): Do you think April will march in the parade? YODA: March April may, June.
- Happy National Parade Day!!! March Fourth!!!
Told to me by my 6 y/o daughter - Why did the Avengers have the best float at the parade? They had a gigantic Banner!
- How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA? He was all over his wife at the parade
- A kid got ran over passing out candy at a parade... He got his tootsie rolled
- "So, Mrs. Kennedy, how was that parade?" "Mind blowing"
- Did you hear about the Pride Parade float that fell over? Apparently it was top-heavy
- Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade? There were too many vets.
- How do you turn fruits into vegetables? Drive a bus through a pride parade
- What do you call a straight pride parade? A traffic jam.
- Did you see the 75th annual ninja parade in downtown Tokyo? Neither did anyone else...
Comical Parade Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about parade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pageant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parade pranks.
Need help: looking for parade jokes. (I know, right?)
I was asked to announce the 4th of July parade in my small hometown. Was wondering if anyone here has been at a parade and heard something funny.
The only thing to work off of right now is that Josh Duhmel is announcing the 4th of July parade in a larger town about 20 minutes away.
Thanks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a group of gay elephants?
A parade.
Someone ordered a lion statuette for a Pride parade
Apparently there was a mixup at the manufacturer and they only sent the rear half of the lion.
What followed was a catastrophe
My favorite album of all time is the celebration of the Million Man March on Washington.
MCR's Welcome to the Black Parade
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between a gay pride parade and a stagecoach driver?
One is raining men and the other is manning reigns.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bulls on a Parade
On a hot sunny day, I went to a record store. A song was playing on the speakers. Angrily, I picked up a hammer and started b**... the speaker system.
The confused owner asked, "What is this?"
I said, "Rage Against the Machine."
Police: How'd you kill 30 people?
Redhead: I was over speeding when all of a sudden the brakes failed. I had two options. There was a parade on one side and a couple walking on the other side.
Police: Why didn't you hit the couple?
Redhead: I did, but as soon as I turned the car towards them, they started running towards the parade.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you throw a molotov into a gay pride parade?
An lgbtbbq
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know why February is black history month?
Because It's the shortest month of the year, and it's too cold to have a parade.
Things have gotten so bad in The US that during the last parade they surrounded Donald Trump with bullet proof glass.
Just because he's a White guy with mental health issues doesn't mean he's gonna start shooting up the crowd
A French teacher asks her new class if any of them know any French.
Young Johnny lets out a parade of F-bombs-
"Whoa! Hey now?! Who told you that was French?" interrupted the teacher.
"My dad. He is always asking people to pardon his French".
At a may day parade, a very old Jew is carrying a placard which reads:
"Thank you, comrade Stalin, for my happy childhood!" A Party representative approaches the old man.
"What's that? Are you mocking our Party? Everyone can see that when you were a child, comrade Stalin hadn't yet been born!"
The old man replies, "That is precisely why I am grateful to him!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together
After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
A man an a boy walk into a barbershop
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris goes to a pride parade, everyone goes straight home..
Putin goes to fortune teller to find out his future.
She says:
"I see you on the car, arriving to a parade, there's an enormous crowd, they're crying for happiness when they see you, everybody is happy".
"Great! I'll lead the parade, who I will handshake with?"
"Nobody, your coffin will be closed".
A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parade for him the next day. He remembers that the day before he shipped out three years earlier, he left a pair of dress shoes at the shoemaker's for repair.
He finds the receipt ticket and rushes to the shoemaker's to get them. The shoemaker examines the ticket and disappears into the back for a couple of minutes. When he returns he says, "They'll be ready Thursday."
