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Parachute Jump Jokes

104 parachute jump jokes and hilarious parachute jump puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parachute jump that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Parachute Jump Short Jokes

Short parachute jump jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parachute jump humour may include short parachute jokes also.

  1. TIL it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom. But not twice.
  2. I asked my parachute instructor what happens if it doesn't open. He said you're jumping to a conclusion.
  3. If you love skydiving, don't wear a parachute on your next jump Then you can skydive for the rest of your life!
  4. A man jumps off a plane. His friend says, "you need a parachute to go skydiving." The man says, "no, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  5. You don't need a parachute to jump out of a plane You need a parachute to jump out of a plane twice.
  6. I accidentally jumped out of a plane without a parachute But dont worry i got the rest of my life to figure out how to survive it
  7. A skydiving instructor tells his student, "After jumping off the plane, count to ten and pull your parachute." "W-w-what w-w-was th-th-that n-n-numb-b-ber ag-g-gain?"
    "Two."
  8. Today I was jumping with a parachute for the first time and I was scared to death. It began when the guy who was in the tandem with me asked me how long am I working as an instructor.
  9. I've started a new hobby of jumping out of planes without a parachute.... ......The trick is to have the plane on the ground.
  10. How do the blind know when they're reaching the ground on a parachute jump? The leash goes slack

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Parachute Jump One Liners

Which parachute jump one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parachute jump? I can suggest the ones about bungee jump and skydiving.

  1. Never do a parachute jump with your girlfriend... Do it with a parachute.
  2. What do you call Skydiving when the parachute doesn't work?
    Jumping to a conclusion..
  3. I have the ability to jump out of an aeroplane, mid-air and without a parachute. Once.
  4. What do you call it when your parachute doesn't open? Jumping to conclusion
  5. I could tell you my jokes about failed parachute jumps But they don't seem to land
  6. You don't need a parachute to jump from a plane Unless you want to jump again.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about parachute jump can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of parachute jump puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Parachute Jump Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about parachute jump you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bungee jumping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make parachute jump prank.

There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to c**... so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack".

There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to c**... so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack".

There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to c**.

.., however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes. One person said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The second person said that she was too important to die, she had children and a family to take care of, and they depended on her to care for them. So, she took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The third person said that he was too important to die because his family depended on him for survival. He was the head of household and the sole bread winner. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One person was a 12 year old boy, and the other was a 65 year old man. The old man said, "Well son, I have lived a good life, and you are too young to die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The boy asked, "Why, Sir?" The old man said, "Well, there is only one parachute left." The little lad said, "Sir there are really two parachutes left." The old gentlemen asked, excitedly, "Yeah? How?" "Well," replied the boy, "you know that guy who thought he was the smartest and greatest thing that hit the face of the Earth? He grabbed my backpack."

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast.


They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes.
Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped.
Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped.
Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped.
The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said
"Why? We can both jump."
"How is that?" said the monk.
The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.


He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to c**.

.., yet they only had 2 parachutes.
The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a c**... and jumped.
The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already
lived a wonderful and full life.
The boy replied, "You can have the other c**... because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"

An airplane was about to c**....
There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die."
So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die."
He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."

There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to c**... and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"

People on a plane

Bill Gates, Tony Blair, an old man and a schoolchild are on a plane, when the pilot bursts out of the cabin
"The plane is about to c**..., and there are only four parachutes. And one of them is mine!"
The pilot jumps out of the plane with the parachute
Tony Blair stands up, grabs a parachute and says
"I was Prime Minister of the UK, I deserve to live!"
He jumps out of the plane
Bill Gates stands up and says
"I am the smartest man alive, I should survive"
He grabs a parachute and jumps out
The old man turns to the child and says
"There is only one parachute left, I am old and have lived my life, you take it"
The child replies
"No need, Bill Gates just jumped out with my backpack"

George bush stupidity

So George bush, the queen of England, a hockey player, a scientist, and a little kid are all on a plane that will soon c**..., and there are only 4 parachutes.
The queen of England says: "Well all my people back home need me"
takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane.
George bush says: "All my fellow Americans need me"
takes a parachute, jumps out of the plane.
The hockey player says: "Well all of my fans need me"
Takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane.
Now there is just the scientist and the little boy left.
The scientist says: "Hey kid, you have the rest of your life to live, you take the parachute"
The little boy replies, "No, no, no, its ok! George Bush took my backpack.

There's a plane crashing down...

On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."

A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together...

A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together. As they reach the intended height, the intructor says, "One by one, s**... your parachutes and jump out." The Japanese man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Emperor!" Next, the British man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Queen!" Then the American man gets up, grabs the Mexican man up out of his seat, and tosses him out of the plane, yelling "Remember the Alamo!"

Bill and Hilary Clinton, a boy, and an elderly man are on a plane

...when the plane starts going down. Unfortunately there was only 3 parachutes.
Bill says "I was president of the United States so i should take one."
So he grabs a c**... and jumps.
Hillary says "I'm the smartest person in the world, so i should go."
So she grabs a c**... and jumps.
Then the elderly man says "I've lived my life boy, you take the last c**..."
The boy says "Wait there's still two parachutes, the smartest person in the world took my backpack"

This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"

The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.
Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"
Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"
The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"

A skydiver jumps from a plane

but nothing happens when he pulls his rip-cord. He pulls the cord on his secondary c**..., but this too is broken. As he is hurdling toward the earth, he sees a man coming straight up toward him. 'Hey!' shouts the skydiver. 'Know anything about parachutes?!' 'No!' shouts the man. 'Know anything about gas barbecues?!'

A doctor a lawyer a priest, and a young boy are on a plane when the hits turbulence and is about to c**......

There are three parachutes between the four of them. The doctor says "Well I'm a doctor and I specialize in medicine and saving lives so I think I should live", the others agree and the doctor takes the first parachute and jumps out. The lawyer says "Well I'm a really smart man basically a genius so I think I should live too", so he grabs the second parachute and jumps out. Now its the last parachute between the priest and the little boy. The priest looks at the boy and says "You know what my child take the parachute, the good lord has blessed me my whole life and you still have your life ahead of you so save yourself and take the last parachute". The little boy says "No it's all right", the priest asks "Why?" and the boy replies "Because the genius just jumped out with my back pack".

An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Italian were in an airplane

It had engine trouble. So, they all got on their parachutes and jumped. The Irishman was first out of the plane, counted to ten, and pulled the rip cord. Second out, the Italian did the same. So, did the Scotsman, but his c**... did not open, and he plummeted down with ever increasing speed. He passed the Italian, who crossed himself. Then he shot passed the Irishman.
The Irishman TOOK OFF HIS c**..., and started to plummet after the Scotsman!!!!!!!
"OH, SO TIS A RAACE YE BE WANTIN'!!!!!", He Shouted....
Happy St. Paddys day guys. Got this from the comment section on Yahoo, first time that ever paid off

What's better: A Parachute Jump or a BJ of a 90 year old?

doesn't matter... must not look down..

Worlds Smartest Man, Worlds Strongest Man, a Preacher and a Boyscout

...are all on a plane and it's about to c**....
Problem is there is only 3 parachutes.
So...
The worlds smartest man grabs a parachute and says, "I'm the worlds smartest man, I can solve many problems and find solutions for the future of humanity". He jumps out the plane.
The worlds strongest man grabs a parachute and says, "I'm the worlds strongest man, I am a role model to many, and I can save many lives by just aspiring people by my physique". He jumps out the plane
With one parachute remaining, the preacher looks at the boy scout and says, "I've led a very good life my son, take the last parachute, God will take care of me"
The boy scout looks at the preacher and says, "We both can jump! The worlds smartest man grabbed my backpack!"

Three men and a parachute

So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to c**.... There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.
The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.
The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."
The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."
To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."

A skydiver jumps out of a plane...

He is flying through the air and is having a lot of fun.
Then he pulls the chord ... but nothing happens! The parachute wont open!
panicing he pulls the safety chord ... nothing happens again!
He is falling ever so fast, when suddenly a guy comes flying up from beneath him!
The skydiver yells "hey! Do you repair parachutes!?"
The guy yells back! "Nope, gas ovens..."
(english is not my first language, excuse my spelling please)

Three guys are aboard a jet as it's about to c**... and there are only two parachutes...

The first guy has the parachutes and gives both of them to the others, the second guy says thank you and jumps. The third guy before jumping asks "Wow, why would you do such a thing, why not save your own life?". The first guy then looks at him and says, "What are you crazy, I gave the second guy an empty backpack".

A lawyer, a tax collector, a priest and a boyscout are on a plane.

The pilot comes over the intercom and tells the passengers that the plane will soon c**.... The pilot says that there are three parachutes available. The lawyer immediately reaches for the first c**... bag he sees and jumps out of the plane. The tax collector is next putting a pack on and jumping out. Now that the boyscout and the priest are the only two left in the plane, the boyscout turns to the priest and says "you can take the c**... mister." The priest says "God bless you son, but I can't let you do that." The boyscout then says "no it's okay, the tax collector took my backpack."

The President, the First Lady, a boy scout and a pilot are on a plane.

(Not sure if this one has been submitted already)
Suddenly, a bird gets stuck in one of the engines, causing it to burst into flames. The pilot tells the passengers that the plane will c**..., but there are only 3 parachutes on the plane.
The president grabs one and says, "I am the most important man in the country! The people need me!" and quickly jumps out of the plane.
The first lady grabs another parachute and says, "How will the president be able to manage his children without his wife?" and jumps out of the plane as well.
Now, only the boy scout and the pilot are on the plane. The pilot says, "You should go. You have more of your life ahead of you than I do. Go on and change the world."
The boy scout says, "We can both go, there are two parachutes left!"
"Huh? How is that possible? There were only 3 parachutes!"
"The president took my backpack. C'mon, lets go now!"

The Air plane

Once upon a time, there were four people on an air plane. the pilot announces that the plane is going to c**.... the four people on the plane are, the richest man in the world, a little boy, the smartest man in the world and the pope. the plane only has three parachutes, the richest man in the world stands up and says "I'm the richest man in the world! I need to live." he grabs a parachute and jumps out. the smartest man in the world says "I'm the smartest man in the world! I need to live." he takes a parachute and jumps out. the pope turns to the young boy and says "Child, you have so much more life then I do, take the last parachute" the boy, totally oblivious to the situation, turns to the pope and says "oh, no need to worry. the smartest man in the world took my backpack"

A plane runs into trouble midair....

There are three passengers, an American, a Brit, and a Chinese man. The flight attendant hands out parachutes but has trouble convincing the three to jump.
The captain runs out of patience and shoves the attendant out the door with her own parachute. A few moments later, she sees the three passengers jumping out from above.
Once on the ground, she asks the captain what he did to convince the three. He said, "Easy. I told the American it was an adventure and he jumped. I told the Brit it was for country and he jumped."
Mystified, the flight attendant asked, "What about the Chinese man?"
The captain replied, "I told him it was free."

An airplane is about to c**... with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and old man and a young boy...

Unfortunately there were only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.
 
Barack Obama said I am the president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower! So he takes the 1st parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
 
Hillary Clinton, said I am the future first female President of the United States and I am the smartest woman in the world. So she takes the 2nd parachute and exits the plane.
 
The old man kneels down to the young boy and says, "I am old and frail and I've lived many years, you take the last parachute."
 
The young boy responds, It's ok! We have enough parachutes. The world's smartest woman jumped out of the airplane with my backpack.
 

An airplane was about to c**... with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, an old man and a young boy...

Unfortunately there were only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.
 
Barack Obama said I am the president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower! So he takes the 1st parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
 
Hillary Clinton, said I am the future first female President of the United States and I am the smartest woman in the world. So she takes the 2nd parachute and exits the plane.
 
The old man kneels down to the young boy and says, "I am old and frail and I've lived many years, you take the last parachute."
 
The young boy responds, It's ok! We have enough parachutes. The world's smartest woman jumped out of the airplane with my backpack.

so a plane was going down..

There were 4 people aboard the plane and only 3 parachutes; the people were the richest man in the world, the smartest man in the world, the nicest man in the world, and a kid. The first man said "I am the richest man alive, So I get a parachute", he put it on and jumped out. The smartest man in the world said "I am the smartest person alive so I get one too". He grabbed a bag and jumped out. The nicest man said to the kid you are young so you take the last parachute. The kid turned and said "no, look, the smart guy took my backpack!".

Four guys on a plane with three parachutes break the fourth wall.

Four guys were on an airplane when it started to c**.... Then they discovered there were only three parachutes. The four guys were Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and Ted Cruz. They argued over who got to use the three parachutes. Since the scientists and geeks knew this joke usually ends with the smartest guy in the world jumping out with an empty backpack, they decided to take Tyson's suggestion and throw Cruz out the door because he didn't believe in gravity and wouldn't need it anyway.

A blonde, a priest, a pilot and a student on a crashing plane

A blonde woman, a priest, a pilot, and a high schooler are all on a crashing plane.
There are only enough parachutes to save three of them, and the pilot is the first to jump out. He grabs a parachute and says, "I'm a pilot! People need me to fly planes!" and then jumps out.
The blonde is next to jump out. She grabs a parachute and says, "My hair won't look pretty if I'm dead!" and then jumps out.
The priest then says to the high schooler, "Son, I've lived my life to its fullest and I am surely ready to join God in heaven."
The high schooler then hands a parachute to the priest and puts another parachute on himself. The priest is shocked and asks the high schooler, "Oh Lord! Where did you find this extra parachute?"
The high schooler replies, "The blonde lady took my backpack!"

Did you hear about the man.....

Did you hear about the man who jumped out of a plane at 40,00 feet without a parachute and survived.....
.....until he hit the ground

Another plane was going down..

...On board were Henry Kissinger, a priest and a hippie. The pilot comes back to the passenger area and says "This plane is going down , there are three parachutes, and I'm taking one!" and jumps out of the door.
Henry Kissinger says "I am ze smartest man in ze world und I need to live," grabs a parachute and jumps out.
The priest says to the hippie, "My son, I have lived a long life and am one with God, please take the last parachute that you may live."
The hippie turns back to the priest and says "Don't sweat it, pops, the smartest man in the world just jumped out of an airplane with my backpack."

The Parachuteless Dave

Michael: Dave is so brave! He jumped out of a plane without a parachute!
John: Ohh is it true? Where did you get the news?
Michael: From his f**....

Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to c**....

A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to c**..., but has only 3 parachutes.
The first passenger yells, "I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't
afford to die." he took the first parachute and jumped.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump runs screaming, "I'm the smartest man in the world & the next President of America. He grabbed the second parachute and jumped.
The 3rd passenger, Hillary Clinton, says to Bernie Sanders "Take the last parachute."
Bernie says, "It's ok Hillary, there is a parachute for both of us. The
world's smartest man just took my backpack."

5 people are in a plane that is about to c**....

The five people are:
-Trump
-Morgan Freeman
-Larry Page
-The Pope
-A schoolboy
There are only 4 parachutes.
Morgan freeman says that he is an entertainer of millions, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.
Larry Page says that he founded Google, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.
Trump says that he is the smartest man in America, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.
There are only two people left, and one parachute. The Pope says "I have lived a long and happy life, you can take the parachute" to the schoolboy.
The schoolboy replies "no, it's OK, we can both go, the smartest man in America took my backpack!"

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

A Catholic, a Jew, and a Buddhist are on a plane when suddenly the engine brakes down

There are no parachutes on the plane, so the men must rely on their faith to save them from death.
The Catholic says a prayer, jumps off the plane and survives the fall, but dies later in a hospital.
The Jew says a prayer jumps off the plane, and survives the fall, but injures his spinal cord and is paralyzed from the waist down.
The Buddhist says a prayer, jumps off the plane, and is caught by a giant Buddha hand.
The Buddhist, relieved to have been caught, says, "Thank God," and the hand drops him.

My friend was so brave, he jumped on a flying plane without a parachute.

i know because everyone was talking about it during his f**....

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are riding a plane...

…when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down. The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one c**... left, and quickly do the math.
The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane.
The Frenchman, not wanting to be seen as less noble than the Englishman, says "Vive la France!" and jumps to his death.
The Texan stands up, straightens his cowboy hat, says "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the Mexican out.

Faith is everything

A man is about to jump from a plane. Right before he jumps, he looks down and freezes in place.
"Don't worry," says the pilot, "If something goes wrong - start chanting 'Oh great Buddha, please save me'".
Skeptical but with renewed confidence, the man jumps. At the right height, he tries to open his parachute. Nothing happens.
He tries to open the spare parachute. Nothing happens.
Terrified, the man shouts: "OH GREAT BUDDHA, PLEASE SAVE ME!!"
Suddenly, the man stops falling. He looks down and finds a huge hand, safely carrying him to the ground. As soon as the hand reaches the ground, he jumps down.
"Phew, thank God!"
*s**...*

A plane was going down

and there were 4 people aboard: The president, the smartest man in the world, an old man, and a little girl. However, there were only 3 parachutes. The president said, "I'm too important to die," and took a parachute and jumped. The smartest man in the world said, "other people will need my smarts," and he also jumped off. The old man said,"you can go, my life is almost over anyway." The girl said," no, we can both go. The smartest man in the world took my Dora backpack."

Guy jumps out of a plane.

a man that was about to jump out of a plane asks his instructor one last time "what happens if the parachute doesn't open" the instructor says "that is very unlikely, but if it happens, put your hands together and say Buddha Buddha Buddha" the guy thinks that is strange and jumps out of the plane anyway. On his way down he pulls the reserve and the thing doesn't open. He then panics, puts his hands together and says "buddha buddha buddha" sure enough two fluffy hands come from out of the clouds, swoop him up and go to lightly set him on the ground. the man relieved to be saved shouts out "THANK GOD" the hands disappear and he falls to his death.

An American, A Canadian and a Boy scout are on a plane.

The plane hits turbulence and is about to c**....
the pilot comes out and says "The plane is going down. Everyone for himself!" grabs one of the remaining 3 parachutes and jumps out.
The American says. "We're number 1 so i get to live" hastily grabs 1 of the 2 remaining chutes and jumps out.
The Canadian looks at the boyscout and says "Im sorry things have to end this way... who gets the last parachute?"
The boyscout replies
"oh dont worry, the American grabbed my backpack"

A Customer bought a parachute from me

I realised after selling it that it was defective.
He hasn't come back to return it.
I wonder if he has jumped to a conclusion of not coming back.

A plane is about to c**..., there are 4 passengers and only 3 parachutes...

The first passenger, Steph Curry, says "I am the best player in the NBA! The Warriors and my fans need me!" and jumps out with the first pack.
The second passenger, Donald Trump, says "I am the most respected and intelligent US president in history! My country needs me!" and jumps out with the second pack.
The third passenger, the Pope, turns to the fourth passenger, a little boy, and says "My son, I don't have many years left in this world, but you have so many years ahead of you. You can take the last parachute." Then the little boy replies "It's ok your Holiness there's still a parachute left for you, Mr. Trump took my backpack."

There is a plane with a Pilot, a Lawyer, a Priest and a Kid

The plane is going down fast but there are only three parachutes. so the pilot says "I have a family and a daughter that are expecting me" he grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane. The lawyer says "well I'm the smartest man on earth so I have to live" he grabs a parachute and jumps off. Now there is only one parachute left and the Priest tells the kid "Kid, take the last one, I have lived my life" The boy looks around the plane and says "We can both live" the priest says "how can that be?", the boy says "because the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack"

Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.

Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.
One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."
The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."

A Pilot, a Scientist, a Preist and a Boy are on a plane...

The plane is going down fast, and there are only 3 parachutes.
The Pilot says, "I have a family with a wife, 3 wonderful kids and a grandchild on the way!"
So he takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane.
The Scientist says, "I am the smartest man on earth! I have to live!"
So he grabs another parachute and jumps off the plane.
The Priest then turns to the boy and says, "Son, I have lived my life. You should take the last parachute."
The boy responds, "It's okay, we can both live!"
The priest asks, "How is that?"
"Because the smartest man on earth just jumped off the plane with my backpack!"

Forgetting a parachute meant it was his last jump.

Then again it was the only one he bounced back from.

Trump parachute joke

Bill gates, Donald Trump, the Pope, and a boy are on a plane that's about to c**.... There are 3 parachutes.
Everyone agreed that Bill Gates was very important, and the world wouldn't be the same without him. And so, he grabbed a parachute and jumped out.
Donald Trump said that he was the president of the United States, and he claimed that he was very important and "the smartest president there ever will be", so he jumped out as well.
The Pope said to the boy, "I am old, and my days are almost over. Take the last parachute and jump!"
The boy replied, "It's fine, Donald Trump didn't grab a parachute; he grabbed my backpack."

Trump, Putin the Pope and Kim Jong-Un travelling by the sam airplane

The plane's engines are sudenly stopped, and they starts to falling. They have only three parachutes. The first one is grabbed by Trump and he sais: "I'm the most important person on Earth, I have to survive" and he jumps. The other one is grabbed by Kim Jong-Un and he sais: "I'm the mastermind, I'm the most clever man on Earth I have to live" after that he jumps. The pope takes a deep breath and sais to Putin: Go with the third parachute son, may the Almighty helps me. Putin replies: "Both of us can survive Holy Father, because the Mastermind jumped with the fire extinguisher."

Worlds Smartest President

Trump, The Pope and little Joey are all on an airplane when the pilot comes running out of the cabin yelling the plain is going to c**...!!! The pilot grabs his parachute and jumps out, Trump sees that there are only two parachutes left and exclaims " I am the smartest President and I need to live!" He grabs a pack and jumps, the Pope turns to Joey and says " son I have lived a long life and I am okay meeting God." Joey smiles and replies " There's no need, the worlds smartest president took my backpack."

A school teacher with her class, a lawyer and priest were on a plane.

The pilot announces that they have lost power in the engine and that they will have to use parachutes to jump from the plane.
The teacher says "let the kids go first!"
The lawyer says "screw the kids!"
The priest asks "do we have time!?"

An American, a Brit, and a Canadian are in a plane ...

The pilot informs them that the plane is going down, there's no more parachutes, and they're going to have to jump anyway. The American yells for god and country! , and jumps out. The Brit yells for the Queen! , and jumps out. The Canadian yells for fun! , and jumps out.

Brad Pitt, Donald Trump, an old man, and a young boy are flying on a plane that's about c**... but there are only 3 parachutes.

Brad Pitt, grabbing a parachute, says: "I'm sorry, guys. My kids need me, my fans need me, I'm outta here." He jumps.
Donald Trump says: "I'm sorry, too, but I'm going to be the smartest president to ever govern the United States." He jumps.
Finally, the old man says to the boy: "You know what? I lived my life to the fullest, now it's your turn. Go ahead and take the last parachute." The boy looks at the man and responds: "There's no need for that. The smartest president ever just took my school bag."

If you jump from a plane with parachutes, you will fly for a few seconds

If you jump from a plane without parachutes, you will fly for the rest of your life

Donald Trump, the Pope, Mark Zuckerberg, and a schoolboy are on a plane...

Suddenly, they hit turbulence. The pilot, telling them that the plane is going to c**..., grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. There are only 3 parachutes left, so Mark Zuckerberg says, "I am worth over 50 billion dollars," and jumps out of the plane. Trump says "I am the smartest man in the world, as well as the president," and jumps out after the pilot and Mark Zuckerberg. Finally, the Pope tells the kid "I have lived a long life, you can take the last parachute." The kid says "We can both grab a parachute, the smartest man in the world took my backpack."

Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, the Pope and a little girl are on a crashing plane.

But there are only three parachutes. So Angela Merkel takes one, saying: "I'm really important so I should live." Donald Trump takes one, saying: "I'm the world's cleverest man, I should live!" But the Pope says to the little girl: "You're a young child, you're more important than me." But the girl says: "It's ok, the world's cleverest man just jumped off with my rucksack."

Skydiving humor

A news reporter was doing a story about skydiving and so he visited a drop zone and went for a ride on the plane to watch everyone jump. One of the plane's engines quit and all the skydivers immediately went out the door. Then the pilot put on his own parachute rig and headed toward the open door himself. The reporter yelled "What's happening? Is everything all right?" and the pilot said "Don't panic. I'm going to get help."

Tell a man a joke and he will laugh for a day...

Invite that man to go skydiving, hand him an empty parachute, watch him jump, and he will never laugh again.

George Bush, pope, and little school boy

Are on a plane travelling at heights. Suddenly the captain announces
"Too much weight, we need to lose some"
Unfortunately there is only one parachute.
Then Bush announces
"I am the most brilliant man in the United States, I must survive."
Therefore he c**... a c**... and jumps
But that is not enough, soon the captain announces again
"Too much weight"
The pope turns to the school boy and says
"You stay here, I am willing to sacrifice myself, after all, I have pretty good connections to heaven"
The school boy answers
"It's okay, you can take the c**.... The most brilliant man of the United States took my school bag"

A man goes skydiving.....

A man goes skydiving.
After he jumps out of the plane he pulls the parachute cord and nothing happens.
Panicking, he pulls the emergency c**.... Again nothing happens.
As he is plummeting towards the earth he sees a speck moving up towards him. As he focuses he can see it's another man, his clothes smoking and his hair singed.
As they pass the skydiver shouts 'do you know anything about parachutes?'
The singed guy replies 'no, do you know anything about gas boilers?'

A man declares that he will be the first person to jump out of a plane without a parachute

The man jumps out and dies on impact with the ground.
He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping and Jean-Claude Juncker all jump from a plane without a parachute, in what order do they hit the ground?

Doesn't matter.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a German, and an American are on a plane flying over the South Pacific.

The pilot suddenly announces; "Sorry gents, but looks like our plane is overloaded. Three of you are going to have to take a parachute and jump out, and I'll have them send a rescue plane back for you."
First the Englishman gets up, grabs a parachute, and steps out the plane, shouting; "God save the Queen!"
Next the Frenchman gets up, grabbing a parachute and stepping out of the plane, shouting; "Vive la France!"
Then the German gets up to get a parachute, but before he can get it on the American shoves him out of the plane, shouting;
"This is for Pearl Harbour, you f**...' c**...!"

4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."

So there were 4 people on a private jet

Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.
In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to c**....
So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.
Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.
Then there's only one parachute left.
Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.
Then the little girl says actually there's two left.
Barack Obama says how ?
Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.

Two men and a woman flying on a plane...

Suddenly both engines stop, plane starts to go down. Guy#1 takes the only parachute and is going to jump out of the plane. But guy#2 says Hey, there's a lady for Christ's sake! Guy#1 looks at his wristwatch and says... Do you think we have time for this?

A Texan, a Mexican, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are on a plane.


The pilot says we only have one parachute, and we're overweight, 3 of you must jump.
The Frenchman steps up first. Viva la France! and he jumps out of the plane.
The Englishman, not wanting to be shown up by a Frenchman, then says Long live the queen! and jumps out of the plane.
Now with just the Texan and the Mexican left, they both approach the door.
The Mexican, nervous and shaking, says I must, for I want people to respect my homeland.
The Texan grabs him by the shoulders and says Remember the Alamo! and shoves him out of the plane.

WW2

During WW 2 a British commando is trained to drop into France and sabotage the enemy. He is given a full training and in his last session he is told where he will be dropped and that a bicycle will be there for him so he will be able to move around easily.
As he gets ready in the plane to jump out, he is told that he has a backup parachute incase the main one doesn't work.
As he jumps out of the plane the parachute doesn't open so he tries to open the backup c**.... That also fails to open. As he's falling down he says to himself " This is just great! With my luck the bike isn't there either."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these parachute jump jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.