Paperwork Jokes
41 paperwork jokes and hilarious paperwork puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about paperwork that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Paperwork Short Jokes
Short paperwork jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The paperwork humour may include short office work jokes also.
- I wanted to change my name to Frieza but had no idea how much paperwork would be involved. This isn't even my final form.
- Trump will still be president of The United States after January 20th He's having Rudy draw up the paperwork to form The United States Total Landscaping Co. as we speak!
- As I sat on the toilet this morning I was reminded of my first divorce. At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.
- How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb? 5, one to fill the paperwork, one to go on strike, and two to complain how it should've been changed last week
- End of the World: Stock up on Staples. My Mom: Do you think this War is the end? Do you think we should stock up on staples?
My Dad: I don't think there will be that much paperwork. - Did you read The Indian In The Cupboard as a kid? I text my wife my musing about his tribe. Do you think he was a plAZTEC Indian?
We finalize the divorce paperwork tomorrow she says. - Sitting on the toilet this morning, I was reminded of my recent divorce. At first I thought I thought I was in for a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.
- The next batch of women who get plastic surgery Will have a stamp on their paperwork that shows they made with 33% recycled Joan Rivers.
- I used to have an origami business... ...but I had to fold it. Y'see, it was too heavily affected by cuts. Plus, there was just too much paperwork.
- Do you know why Batman didn't become a cop in spite of facing the same risk as cops? He doesn't want to do the paperwork
Share These Paperwork Jokes With Friends
Paperwork One Liners
Which paperwork one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with paperwork? I can suggest the ones about housework and homework.
- Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved.
- I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
- I quit my job at the origami factory. Too much paperwork!
- I use to like origami as a hobby But i gave up as it was alot of paperwork.
- Why are ghosts bad at paperwork? Because they're formless entities.
- Why Doesn't Ancestry.com frown upon inbreeding??? Its Less paperwork...
- Did you hear about the paperwork fetishist? She got off on a technicality.
- Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato? Signing the legal guardian paperwork
Gather Around for Heartwarming Paperwork Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about paperwork you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make paperwork pranks.
Back in the USSR
In the days of state control, a Russian man saved and saved and saved until he finally had enough money to buy a car.
He took the bus to the state car agency to arrange the purchase.
After an hour of filling in paperwork, he handed over the money and asked when he could pick it up.
The agent looked at a book and replied "exactly one year from today."
The man thought for a minute and asked "morning or afternoon"?
The agent, surprised, said "morning or afternoon! It's next year. What difference does it make?"
The man replied "The plumber is coming in the morning..."
p**... said she would do anything I asked....
Guess who's up to date with all his paperwork.
Guy walks into a f**... home
He tells the receptionist, my wife is dying, and i need to buy a gravesite.
Receptionist says, sure, no problem. Just fill out this paperwork and we'll get the process started.
Guy says, well you should know up front this might get complicated. See, my wife weighs 800 pounds.
Ah, the receptionist says. The plot thickens.
So this drunk guy stumbles up to a cop...
And says, excuse me officer I lost my car and the officer says, well where did you see it last?
Guy: it was right here on the end of my key
Officer: Alright well head down to the station and they'll set you up with the proper paperwork, but before you go, you might want to zip up your fly
The man looks down and says, Awww man they got my girl too!
Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...
Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.
So an American walks into a store in the Midwest and says, I'd like to buy that .50 cal s**... riffle with 4,000 rounds of ammunition and a box of penicillin...
The store clerk replies: sorry Sir, I'm going to have to see some paperwork for that penicillin.
As a new father and a nurse were filling out paperwork following the birth of his daughter, he was asked for her name.
"Kelsey Noelle," he answered.
The nurse responded with, "How do you spell Kelsey with no L?"
A guy walks into his kitchen and sees his roommate writing on a piece of paper
Guy: what's up?
Roommate: Im legally changing my name to Dragon Ball Z.
Guy: wait, what, can you even do that?
Roommate: yea, it's a lot of paperwork tho.
This isn't even my final form.
A parking warden was being buried.
As they lowered the coffin into the ground there was a frantic b**... from inside and shouts of I'M NOT DEAD! I'M NOT DEAD!
"Ah sorry mate" says the priest, leaning forward to the coffin. "It's too late, I've started filling in the paperwork"
So this drunk guy stumbles up to a police officer
He said, "Officer, someone stole my car!"
The officer in disbelief asked him "Oh yeah where was it last?" The drunk replied "right on the end of this key."
The officer, clearly unimpressed and wanting to move on with his day said to him "Okay buddy, why don't you just take yourself down to the station. They'll have the proper paperwork for you to fill out there. But before you go, zip up your fly." The drunk looked down at his fly, and then back up at the police officer.
"s**..., they got my girl too."
A Joke from the Late Great Townes Van Zandt
A drunk is walking down the street and bumps into a cop.
The drunk says, Man, they stole my car.
The cop says, Well where was it?
The drunk says, Right on the end of this key.
The cop says, You better to go down to the precinct and they'll fill out all the proper paperwork, but before you do that you better zip up your pants.
The drunk looks down and says, Ah man, they got my girl too.
A man gets a STD test from his doctor...
...and while the doctor is filling out paperwork, he asks the man several questions to determine his risk of infection.
"Alright, last question, you're looking great so far." says the doc "Have you ever paid for s**...?"
The man thinks for a moment, and glancing out at his wife and kids through the examination room window, sighs, and says, "Every time..."
Drunk walks up to a beat cop
Says, "Ociffer, somebody stole my car!"
Cop says, "well where was it when you last saw it?"
Drunk holds up his keychain says, "it was right here on the end of this key!"
Cop looks the drunk up and down, points over the drunks shoulder says, " you'll need to go down to the precinct to fill out the paperwork, it's 4 blocks down that way."
Drunk says, "thanks ociffer." Starts to turn around to walk down there.
Cop says, "you'd better zip up your pants before you go in there."
Drunk looks down at his pants, says "oh man, they got my girl too!"
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's f**...,
a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"
The Vicar smiles, leans forward s**... air through his teeth and mutters: "Too late pal, I've already done the paperwork."
A drunk was walking down the street and bumped into a cop.
The drunk says to the cop, "Man, somebody stole my car."
Cop says, "Well, where was it?"
The drunk says, "It was right here on the end of this key."
Cop replies, "I dunno man, you better go down to the precinct and report it down there and they'll fill out all the proper paperwork."
The drunk turns around to leave but the cop stops him and says, "Whoa there, before you head downtown you better zip up your fly."
The drunk looks down and says, "Aw man, they got my girl too."
A coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's f**......
A coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's f**.... As it was being lowered, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead! I'm not dead! Let me out." The vicar smiles, leans forward s**... air through his teeth and mutters "sorry mate, it's too late. I've already done the paperwork."
A policeman pulled over a speeding car
turned to the driver and said "Do you understand that you were going 20 km/h over the speed limit down the centre of the road?"
The guy smiles and says "Of course I did, that's what it said to do on my driver's license"
The policeman confused asks "and where does it say that?"
The man hands over the paperwork and points out "There, where it says tear along the dotted line"
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
After filing out his paperwork he had to take an eye exam. The clerk showed him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.
"Can you read this?" the clerk asked.
"Read it?" the Polish man replied. "He's my uncle."
A man who made tie-dyed shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his business.
While filling out the documents, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of dye all over his paperwork. The poor man dyed a loan.
A policeman pulls over a guy for speeding
The officer walks up to him and says "look buddy, its 16:50 on a Friday night and I knock off in 10 mins. I really don't want to be filling in paperwork so tell you what? Give me a good excuse for speeding away from me, and I'll let you go. The man thinks for a second and says "my wife ran off with a cop last week. I was afraid you were trying to give her back "
"Have a nice weekend, sir!"
The j**...
Bob was working with John and Dave. John shouts over to Bob, "Hey j**..., fill out that paperwork". A bit later, John shouts at Bob again, "Hey j**..., bring me that file folder". Dave seeing that Bob was down at all the shouting went over to him and said "Why do you let John call you j**...?". Bob said "He-aww, He-aww, He always calls me that".
Inspired by post on reddit/ technology
Police stop a guy.
-Name
Wankbreak
-Excuse me?
Wankbreak....Fred Wankbreak.
-Listen mate you're coming down to the station if you carry on like that.
No seriously I work in the Warehouse over there give them a ring they'll vouch for me.
Cop sighs but can do without the paperwork. Gets the number from Fred and rings.
-Hello Acme Warehouse?
Yes
- PC Plod here just doing a check.
OK
- So do you have a Wankbreak there?
A wankbreak.... you're joking...we don't even have f**king tea break here mate!!
