Papal Jokes
46 papal jokes and hilarious papal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about papal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Papal Short Jokes
Short papal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The papal humour may include short pope jokes also.
- My church decided to modernize and replace the collection plate with a digital platform Called Papal.
- What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.
- [OC] I was bowled over by the news that the Vatican was starting a check cashing and money transfer operation They're going to name it Papal.
- What do you call the Vatican's online payments system? The Papal PayPal.
- What Does The Pontiff Dry His Hands With? Papal Towels
- What does the Pope use to dry his hands? Papal towels.
- What are the first three words of the Constitution of the Vatican? We the papal...
- If the Vatican ordered some things from eBay, Would they use the papal PayPal?
- What online payment service does the Pope use? Papal.
- How does the Pope pay for things online? Papal
Share These Papal Jokes With Friends
Papal One Liners
Which papal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with papal? I can suggest the ones about catholic and pope benedict.
- How does the Pope make online purchases? Using his Papal account.
- What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online? Papal
- What does the Pope use to clean his counters? A Papal towel.
- How do you transfer money in the Vatican? You use Papal.
- How do they clean up messes at the Vatican? Papal towels.
- What is the Pope's preferred method of payment? Papal
- What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US? Popeyes
- What does the pope use for online transactions? papal
- What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine? Do we have any papal towels?
- How does the Vatican want you to send donations? PaPal
- How does the Pope buy things online He uses Papal.
- What do you call Pope Benedict after his final day in the papal office? Ex-Benedict.
- How do Catholics spend money online? Papal.
- What does the pope put on his pancakes? Papal syrup.
- How does the pope clean up big messes? Papal towels
Hilarious Fun Papal Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about papal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean is the pope catholic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make papal pranks.
Nescafe and the Pope
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
"Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from
'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
coffee."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed."
"Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed."
The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.... We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give
us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'"
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder-Bread account."
the papal visit
the pope visited Glasgow during his visit he went to the Royal infirmary. He went to the ward where seriously ill patients were cared for. The first patient could not walk, the pope blessed him and he got up and walked, the second patient could not see after the blessing his sight was restored, the third patient shrunk back in horror. He shouted get back don't touch me I'm on motability.
The papal elections came down to two contenders:
Cardinal Koch and Cardinal Sea. The votes were tallied and Cardinal Koch won by 1 vote. However, moments later, Koch suffered a massive heart attack.
The Dean came out of the room where they took Koch. He looked at the assembled cardinals. They asked, Will we have Pope Koch? . The Dean shook his head and said, Koch is gone, is Pope Sea ok?
The Pope is flying to Ireland tomorrow for a papal visit.
Do you think he will use v**... airways?
Like the clergy?
How does the Head of the Vatican pay for his items online?
By using his Papal account.
What's the preferred method of exchanging money in the Vatican?
Papal
