Papa Jokes
116 papa jokes and hilarious papa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about papa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your family laugh out loud with these hilarious papa jokes! We've got yo papa, mummy papa, mama, granddad, and grampa jokes that are guaranteed to get everyone grinning. Whether you're looking for a funny father's day gift or just want a good laugh, this is the perfect article for you!
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Funniest Papa Short Jokes
Short papa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The papa humour may include short mama jokes also.
- A baby roach asks his dad what happens if they get sprayed with Raid. Papa Roach said, Suffocation, no breathing.
- A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks "Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"
Papa is surprised and asks "20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?" - I bought a shirt and some neckwear from Ebay that used to belong to the guy from the Mamas & the Papas All the sleeves are brown and the tie is gray
- String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
- Late one night in the USSR there is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door.
'It's all right,' he says, coming back. 'The building's on fire.' - Baby Roach: "Papa, what happens if the humans spray us with Raid?" Papa Roach: "Suffocation. No breathing."
- Yo mama and yo papa both so fat ...scientists refer to your conception as "the even Bigger Bang".
- What did The Magic Flute opera singer say when his son asked him whether his putting on a costume loaded with feathers meant that he was a homosexual? Papa gay? No!
- only joke i ever made up.. What did the papa pear tree say to his effeminate male son? GROW A PAIR!
- A Jewish boy needs $20 So he asks his father.
Son: Papa, could I have twenty bucks please?
Father: Ten bucks!? Whaddya need five bucks for!?
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Papa One Liners
Which papa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with papa? I can suggest the ones about daddy and pope.
- What do you call an outrageous father? Papa-sterous.
I'll see myself out. - What did the mama bullet say to the papa bullet? We're going to have a BB!
- If Papa Roach goes on their final vacation is it to their last resort?
- What happens when you squeeze a smurf? You papa smurf!
- If a take and bake pizza can go wrong, it will. Papa Murphy's law.
- Why did Papa John sue Papa John's? He kneaded the dough.
- Somebody's been sleeping in my bed! Said the Papa bear Then the Mama bear divorced him.
- Soy milk Hola milk
Soy papa - Papa John's apparently got bought by the NRA Now it's called Papa Cap
- What's Papa John's favorite pizza? The White Supreme
- What's a fun name to call your new Italian Step-Dad? Papa Guinea
- Papa's Pizzeria... No Daddy's Pizzeria
- What did Kid Hippie say to Papa Hippie? RV there yet?
- Papa Gino's have closed many locations They ran out of dough
- shakira : "Telling lies?" Hips : "No Papa"
Your Papa Jokes
Here is a list of funny your papa jokes and even better your papa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A very curious kid Kid: Papa, are you growing taller all the time?
Father: No, my child. Why do you ask?
Kid: Because the top of your head is poking up through your hair. - "Someone's been sleeping in MY bed!" said Papa Bear. "Someone's been sleeping in MY bed!" said Mama Bear.
"Please stop fighting," sobbed Baby Bear. "It's Christmas." - Don and his son Big time gangster Don Vito Corleone picked up his son Santino after his annual exams. 'How was it?' he asked.
'They questioned me for three hours, papa. But I told them nothing.' - What did the papa pear tree say to his child pear tree who was too afraid to grow his first fruits? Son? Grow a pear.
- A Russian boy sees his father being arrested by the FSB and asks, Papa, why are you being taken to the Gulag? The father replies, I don't know son, I'm not interested in politics.
- I heard this story about a Papa Roach and a Mama Roach... the Mama Roach says, "What happens if you get sprayed with the Raid Roach Spray?" SUFFOCATION.
NO BREATHING. - Teacher to a grade 2 student : Who is the youngest member in your family ? STUDENT : Papa Teacher : How ?
Student : Because he still sleeps with mummy. - I don't get all the fuss about Nintendo Labo. Papa John's has been selling cardboard for over 30 years.
- The Bigger family... So, you have the Bigger family which is made up of Papa Bigger, Mama Bigger and Baby Bigger.
Which one of them is the biggest?
Baby Bigger because he's a little Bigger. - Anecdote - Daughter, why my bottle of whiskey half empty?
- Because you're a pessimist, Papa.
Papa John Jokes
Here is a list of funny papa john jokes and even better papa john puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Many people don't know this but Papa Johns wasn't the first pizza place with a racist CEO. It was actually Hunt Brothers.
- I called and ordered a large pepperoni pizza from Papa Johns. They asked if I wanted to Papa Size it. I said no... Just a large.
- How did Papa John's rebrand themselves following the racial scandal? Uncle Tom's
- Papa John dated a lesbian midget once It didn't work out; she was into little scissors.
- I heard Papa John is getting into another business.... Paper Johns
The hard -er seems right up his alley. - Papa johns missed a great opportunity with the phrase "pizzagate" It could've been like "ARE they better ingredients??"
- Did you guys hear Papa john is suing Papa John's Looks like papa's coming for his dough.
- Mmmm this papa John's pizza is good It's so much better fired
- What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car? I'm really sodie pop.
- You're momma so fat... When she watches sports she roots for half off Papa John's.
Papa Roach Jokes
Here is a list of funny papa roach jokes and even better papa roach puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How does Oj Simpson sing Last Resort by papa roach? Cut my wife into pieces! Left in my white Ford!
- What did the lead singer of Papa Roach say at the end of the debate? THIS IS MY LAST RETORT
Yo Papa Jokes
Here is a list of funny yo papa jokes and even better yo papa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo momma so fat... Forget it, let's make a papa joke.
Yo papa so fat that when he went to school he sat with everybody!
.
And still, he wasn't as fat as yo momma - Yo papa so fat.. Yo fat mama became Yo flat mama
Entertaining Papa Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about papa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mamma jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make papa pranks.
Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced...
and the Judge is asking Baby bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."
We usually yell "Oh God". Do you know what many Afghani boys scream out loud, when they have s**...?
"Aahista, Plaar... Aahista"
(Pashto) roughly translates as: "Slowly, Papa... slowly"
moles
Mama mole, papa mole, and baby mole all lived in a hole. One day, mama mole stuck her head out and sniffed the air.
"That's weird, I smell grape jelly."
Papa mole squeezes up beside her, sniffs around, and says, "That's funny, because i smell strawberry jam."
Baby mole wanted to sniff the air too, but was stuck behind mama and papa mole, so he said "That's strange, all I smell is molasses!"
Tomato Family
A Papa Tomato, a Mama Tomato, and a Baby Tomato are all walking down the street. The Baby Tomato starts to trail behind. The Papa Tomato turns around and walks over to the Baby Tomato, SMASHES him, and says "Ketchup!"
Tomatoes
Momma tomato papa tomato and baby tomato are all taking a walk. Baby tomato is lagging behind so papa tomato walks over to her and says " ketchup".
It's the kid's Joke time..
Here's a lovely joke for all:
Papa : Why is your mummy sitting silently today.
Son : Nothing papa. She asked for lipstick and i heard fevistick(glue).
Papa: (With tears in eyes) God bless you son.
A Jewish kid goes up to his dad...
Son: "Hey papa?"
Father: "Yes, ma' boy?"
Son: "I met this beautiful girl at temple today. I want to take her out. Can I borrow fifty bucks?
Father: "Forty bucks? What the heck are you gonna do with thirty bucks? Do I look like I have twenty bucks heres fifteen now take ten and bring me back five."
the papal visit
the pope visited Glasgow during his visit he went to the Royal infirmary. He went to the ward where seriously ill patients were cared for. The first patient could not walk, the pope blessed him and he got up and walked, the second patient could not see after the blessing his sight was restored, the third patient shrunk back in horror. He shouted get back don't touch me I'm on motability.
C-3PO
Papa, when C-3PO is n**..., he is see-through PO (My 5 1/2 y/o just came up with this. I think it's funny, for a 5 y/o :-))
Custody trial
Momma bear and papa bear are in court finalizing their divorce and custody of junior bear. The judge asks junior bear who he wants to live with?
J: "do you want to live with momma bear? "
JB: "no, she beats me."
J: "do you want to stay with papa bear?"
JB: "no, he beats me too."
J: "then who will you live with?"
JB: "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody!"
One day Papa bear came downstairs to eat his dinner...
**"WHO HAS ATE MY SOUP"** ,he bellowed as he had seen that his plate before him empty. Little bear came downstairs as well and to his shock, his bowl was empty too. "WHO ATE FROM *MY* BOWL?", he pondered aloud. At this point mama bear came out of the kitchen and replied," What do you guys mean 'who has ate from my soup?' I haven't even gotten serve it yet!"
Three moles smell something.
Papa mole first pokes his head out of the hole and sniffs. He then says "I smell some good pancakes and syrup." Next mama mole pokes her head out of the hole and says "all I smell is fruits and honey." Then baby mole tries to poke his head out of the hole and says " I can't smell anything except molasses."
A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says "Papa, I need fifty dollars."
The father says "forty dollars?! I don't have thirty dollars! What do you need twenty dollars for? Here's ten dollars." He hands the boy a five and says "split it with your brothers...and bring back the change."
A Family of Moles
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
I smell maple syrup!
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .
molasses."
An old man is dying..
His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.
Papa tomato, Mama tomato and little tomato, are walking down the street. little tomato is walking a little slow so pap walks up and says...
ketchup.
What do you call the Indian Godfather?
Papa Dom
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles.Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.
They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.
The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.
Papa Bear said, "Me very thankful, me did a tankful."
Mama Bear said, "Me very grateful, me did a plateful."
Baby Bear said, "Me broken hearted, me only f**...."
If a father asked their child if they would like a tropical fruit, would the child respond,
Papa, ya
Little Johnny goes to his grandfather and asks him to croak like a frog.
"Why, sure Johnny. *Croak*", says grandfather.
"Yaaaaay", exclaimed Johnny. Confused, grandfather asks what's so exciting.
"Papa says we're going to be rich when you croak!", replies johnny.
So Cool Papa walks into a pie shop...
He asks, "how's the pecan pie?"
The Beatnik behind the counter sez "I'm sorry, but, the pecan pie's gone."
Cool Papa sez "Solid. I'll take two slices."
I couldn't help singing My Girl and Papa Was A Rollin' Stone
It was just too much of a temptation!
So there's 3 tomato's ..
... Papa Tomato, Momma Tomato and Baby Tomato walking along the street. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato starts getting really angry. So, he turns around and squishes Baby Tomato and says, 'Ketchup.'
Farmer and Son
A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank
This year, I can't plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field."
The son wrote back, Papa, don't dare plow the field That is where I hid the money I stole.
The police intercepted the letter and by the next day they'd dug up the entire field but found nothing. The son wrote to his father, Now you can plant your potatoes.
Three tomatoes are walking down the street
Papa tomato, Mama tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Papa tomato gets really angry. He goes back and squishes him and says,
Ketchup
If you can read this...
India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.
Dominos is Fixing p**... holes on your trip to get pizza!
Meanwhile, at Papa John's...
Mama Bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce
Mama bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce. The judge asks baby bear what parent he wants to live with.
Judge: Ok baby bear, do you want to live with your Mama?
Baby Bear: No, she beats me.
Judge: Ok how about your Papa?
Baby Bear: No he beats me even more...
Judge: Then who do you want to live with?
Baby Bear: I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They don't beat anyone!
A very little girl enters a room where her father and elder brother were talking.
"Hi Papa!" the girl says.
"Good morning, Promises." The father replies.
"Papa, why is brother sad?" Promises asks.
"Condoms just found out that I named you two after things that I have broken."
My grandmother and grandfather's names were Pearl and Dean...
But I always called them Grandma and Grand PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPAPA, PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPAAAAAA, PA!
A Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and baby tomato are taking a walk...
The baby starts falling behind so out of frustration the Papa Tomato turns around, steps on him, and yells, Ketchup!
Dad and his son Billy, age 5, had a conversation. Dad: Billy listen. Your mother and I have decided that we can't live together anymore.
Billy: But papa, where will mommy live??
Dad: She'll still live here.
Billy: Oh papa I will miss you.
Dad: I will miss you too Billy. Now pack up your stuff you got 15minutes to get the f\*\*k out.
The papal elections came down to two contenders:
Cardinal Koch and Cardinal Sea. The votes were tallied and Cardinal Koch won by 1 vote. However, moments later, Koch suffered a massive heart attack.
The Dean came out of the room where they took Koch. He looked at the assembled cardinals. They asked, Will we have Pope Koch? . The Dean shook his head and said, Koch is gone, is Pope Sea ok?
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I smell is MOLASSES!"
A dog is running awa
A dog is running away from a farm.
The pig asks him why?
The dog replies, "this family doesn't want me man, I'm out"
The pig says what do you mean, the humans always pet you, they take you in walks, you have free reign over the farm. To which the dog replies, "not even pig, all I get for food are left overs, you get corn, and fruits, look how fat you are. I even overheard Papa say he was going to make you Ham for Christmas!!"
Giovanni said to his daughter, "I no like-a that Irish boy taking you out-a. He is-a rough and common, and besides-a, he is-a a big-a dumbbell!"
"No, papa," replied the girl, "Tim is the cleverest fella I know." "Why-a you say-a that?" "We have only been dating nine weeks and he has already cured me of that little illness I used to get every month!"
A regular family dinner
Son: Mama, I saw Papa in the maids bedroom today
Pa: H-Hey now you just be quiet and eat your dinner son
Ma: Go on son...
Son: Papa took off his clothes and the maid did the same!!!
Pa: Now listen here you lying little sh--
Ma: Finish the story Son!
Son: Then Papa got on top of the maid, and wrestled each other the same way you and Uncle Jeff did!!!
Ma: Now listen here you lying little sh--
Three tomatoes are walking down the street
Three tomatoes are walking down the street,Papa tomato, Mama tomato and Baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Papa tomato gets really angry. Papa goes back and squishes him and says,
"KETCHUP"
I nibbled on my 3 year olds ear and said "I'm going to eat your ears". She said "Papa! No! Don't e**... ears!"
"My mask will fall off!"
(True story from yesterday, happy end of 2021!)
Going to a s**... is like getting pizza from Papa Murphy's:
You go get it started by a professional, but have to take it home and finish it yourself.
A family of moles on an early breakfast morning.
The big ol papa mole raises his head up out of the hole and smells the air then says "i smell pancakes!"
Then the big ol mama mole sticks her head up out of the hole, smells the air, and says "i smell pancakes!"
Then itty bitty lil ol baby mole wiggles up between big ol papa mole and big ol mama mole, sniffs the air and exclaims "I smell molasses!"
A boy excitedly reports to his miserly father...
"Papa!" the boy exclaims. "Instead of buying a bus ticket, I ran home behind the bus and saved a dollar!"
The father immediately slaps the child. "Spendthrift!" he screams. "You could have run home behind a taxi and saved twenty!"
What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US?
Popeyes
A family of moles wake up from hibernation.
They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there's a layer of concrete that wasn't there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.
Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It smells great!
Mama mole, right behind Papa, sniffs and says, Oh wow, the syrups smell delicious!
Baby mole, in the hole behind both Papa and Mama says Yuck! All I can smell are molasses from back here!
