panties Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious panties puns

My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's panties

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.

Or that his whole family was there.

That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.

And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..

👍🏼

I gently slid her panties to the side...

....so I could fit her socks into the drawer

👍🏼

Two female police dog handlers are walking their dogs

One says to the other, "I left my panties at the police station." The other says, "Let the dog have a whiff of your cunt and he'll go and fetch them."

Fifteen minutes later, the dog returns with her panties, her baton, a broomhandle and two of the inspector's fingers.

👍🏼

My girlfriend came home and told me to take off her shirt so I did

Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and panties so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again

👍🏼

My sister asked me to remove her clothes.

So I took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt."

I took off her skirt."Take off my shoes."

I took off her shoes.

"Now take off my bra and panties."

and so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

👍🏼

So my wife said "take off my shirt".

So I did as she said and took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I continued and took off her skirt.

"Take off my shoes." Once again, I did as she said and I took off her shoes.

"Now my hose, bra, and panties." And lastly, I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

👍🏼

So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

👍🏼

My sister asked me to take off her clothes ;)

So I took off her shirt.


Then she said, "Take off my skirt."


I took off her skirt.


"Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes.


"Now take off my bra and panties."


and so I took them off.


Then she looked at me and said, I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again.

👍🏼

Whoever decided to name girl underwear "panties" fucked up.

How do you skip Cuntainers?

👍🏼

William Shatner, alias Captain Kirk, has discontinued his ladies underwear line...

In hindsight "Shatner Panties" wasn't a good choice of name in the first place.

👍🏼

From grandma: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In memory of all the faces that were buried there.

👍🏼

nsfw Wife's New Panties

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, along with a short skirt and sets on the sofa opposite her husband. At certain moments during the game, she would uncross her legs, just long enough for her husband to see. Finally after a number of times he asks "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Yesss." she says smiling seductively "Thank God." he says "I thought you were sitting on the cat."

👍🏼

My best friend got mad at me sniffing his sister's panties

It didn't help that they were still on her. Or that all of his family was there too. Needless to say it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.

👍🏼

What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?

What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?

They both come off with alcohol.

👍🏼

My best friend got mad when he caught me sniffing his sister's panties.

It probably didn't help that she was still wearing them, or that his whole family was there too.


It made the rest of his sister's funeral really awkward...

👍🏼

Why dont witches wear panties?

So they can grip the broom.

👍🏼

What's the worst thing about a woman's panties?

Your nuts hang out the side.

A homeless guy told me this joke in exchange for pocket change

👍🏼

Why don't witches wear panties?

Better grip

👍🏼

I can't wait to get home and rip off my girlfriends panties,

they're really starting to chaffe my thighs.

👍🏼

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or panties to work.

But he types really well.

👍🏼

Back then, if I wanted to see her panties, I had to lift her skirt.

Today, if I want to see her panties, I have to spread her butt cheeks.

👍🏼

My girlfriend came home from work last night and immediately said, "Claud, take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

👍🏼

Little old lady goes to a dentist...

A little old lady goes to the dentist.


She walks in to the dentists office, sits down, drops her panties, and lifts her legs.


Rather flustered the Dentist says, "I'm sorry madam, I'm not a gynaecologist!"


She says, "I know you're not, I just need my husband's teeth back!"

👍🏼

Why do witches not wear panties?

You get better grip on the brooms.

👍🏼

Wife asked to take clothes off

Walked into the bedroom and the wife said
"Take off my shoes"
So i did

"Take off my skirt"
So i did

"Take off my bra and panties"
So i did


Then she said to me, "stop wearing my fucking clothes"
So I did

👍🏼

My girlfriend asked me to take off her clothes.

So I took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt."

I took off her skirt.

"Now take off my bra and panties."

And so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

👍🏼

A young man walks into a ladies clothing store...

"I need to buy my girlfriend some gloves, but I don't know what size her hands are."

The beautiful young employee presses her hands into his and says, "I'm a 'small'. Does that help?"

"Oh yeah," he says. "You're hands are the exact same size as hers."

"Do you need anything else?" the young girl asks him.

"Now that you mention it, she also needs a bra and panties."

👍🏼

a guy goes to a bar...

... and after an hour, this smoking hot blonde approaches him. he offers her a drink, and they talk for a bit.

eventually she says, "i haven't had a dick for two weeks, you wanna go back to your place?" the guy is thrilled as they venture back to his apartment. the guy cannot believe his luck but then the girl removes her panties and he notices the scars

👍🏼

Sexy time with my girlfriend

So, me and my girlfriend are making out.
She says, "take off my shirt!"
I took off her shirt.
She then says, "take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt.
She also says "take off my shoes!"
I took off her shoes.
Finally, she says "take off my bra and panties!"
I took off her bra and panties.
She then looks at me and says "I don't wanna catch you wearing my things ever again!"

👍🏼

Sexy up skirt...

As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this sexy blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her panties.
Hey perv!! she said as she gave me a playful kick. I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?
That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, miss, I said sternly. I don't fucking work here.

👍🏼

My best friend got mad at me because he caught me smelling his sister's panties

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.

Or that his whole family was there.

That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.

And who would've thought you could make the funeral of such a cute toddler more awkward then it already was...

👍🏼

My friend got angry at me for sniffing his sister's panties.

It didn't help that they were still on her.

Or that their whole family was watching.

This made the rest of the funeral quite awkward.

👍🏼

My best friend got mad at me the other day because he caught me sniffing his sister's panties.

It didn't help that she was still wearing them, or that his whole family was there too. It made the rest of his sister's funeral really awkward.

👍🏼

Pregnant woman at the beach.

Jim and Bob were swimming when they saw a pregnant woman drowning.
They quickly pulled her to safety.
Jim starts giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Bob takes off the woman's panties and puts his mouth on her pussy.

Jim: "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Bob: "You save the woman. I'll save the child!"

👍🏼

Panties

LUST : Tearing her panties off.

Love : Sliding them down gently

Marriage : Folding them regularly

👍🏼

What are the most funny Panties jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Panties? Well, here are the best Panties dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Panties pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes