Pant Jokes
83 pant jokes and hilarious pant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with our hilarious collection of short and tight pant jokes from Panties to Thorns. Get ready to gasp at these funny gags that are guaranteed to make you chortle!
Funniest Pant Short Jokes
Short pant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pant humour may include short pajamas jokes also.
- Jared from Subway ended his career the same way he began it Trying to get into smaller pants
- Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga … And 100% of men don't care.
- My kid and I wrote this together: Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants? Because he took a leek!
(Please don't kick us out, just lettuce leave) - Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way. Trying to get into smaller pants.
- During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
- Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler.... The neighbours think I am a stud when they hear her panting heavily "give it to me!"
- Happiness is like peeing in your pants Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth
- I asked the doctor where I should put my pants during my prostate examination. Over there next to mine, was not the answer I was expecting.
- If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have? Someone else's pants on.
My grandfathers favorite joke. - The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.
Share These Pant Jokes With Friends
Pant One Liners
Which pant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pant? I can suggest the ones about trousers and pans.
- Why is Jon Snow so ticklish? Aunts in his pants...
- What did the letter O say to the letter Q? "For God's sake man, put some pants on!"
- You should always bring two pairs of pants golfing. Just in case you get a hole in one.
- Why did the snowman take his pants off? He heard the snow blower was coming.
- What has 100 legs but can't walk? 50 pairs of pants.
- Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts.
- Just pooped my pants. Which is weird, because I don't even remember eating them.
- What's worse than 10 ants in your pants? One uncle.
- I was hiking yesterday when suddenly I ran into a cougar Almost made me puma pants
- What's the best way to make pants last? Make the jacket first.
- Girls pants are like a cheap hotel... ... no ballroom.
- What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom.
- Three things that never lie..... Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants
- Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow-blower was coming.
- From my 6 year old: What does a cloud wear beneath its pants? Thunderwear!
Short Pant Jokes
Here is a list of funny short pant jokes and even better short pant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I bought these pants 50% off. I guess they're shorts now.
- Melvin capital was caught with their pants down by the short squeeze but it seems the SEC didn't like seeing a full debriefing
- My mom's sister stole my shorts. Now my aunt's in my pants.
- What do you call narrator's favorite pair of pants? Long story shorts.
- Accidentally wore a red shirt and khaki pants to Target today... Long story short, I think I got promoted to Assistant Manager.
- If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball pants, what kind of pants does the President wear? Depends
- My dad said he had seen the shorts for a new movie But he couldn't find the pants.
- Why are spandex shorts called "cheap hotel pants"? Because like a cheap hotel, there's no ballroom
- What do you call shorts that come down to your ankles? Pants.
Tight Pant Jokes
Here is a list of funny tight pant jokes and even better tight pant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Tight pants are like a cheap hotel... No ball room
- What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants? A mistletoe.
- What kind of pants does a cave explorer wear? Stalac-tights
- What do you see when a woman in the Army wears her pants too tight? Camo toe.
- Why do men in tight pants remind me of a cheap hotel? No ball-room.
- Why does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants? So you can read her lips.
- What do you call a cow that has a record player, tight pants, and thick brimmed glasses? A hip-steer.
- I didn't like my pants because they were too tight But then they grew on me
- Why does Peter Pan wear tights? He isn't Peter Pants.
- What's it called when Mrs Claus wears pants way too tight? Mistletoe
Uplifting Pant Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about pant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jacket jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pant pranks.
These pants fit like a cheap hotel...
No ballroom.
p**... Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "p**... Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton p**...."
The clerk looked up p**... Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "p**... stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da p**..., Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
What are Mario's pants made of?
Denim denim denim.
What do pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common?
Flatbush
You think 50% off p**... at Victoria's Secret is good...
Come down to my place, and I'll get your p**... 100% off!
A pirate walks into a bar...
So a little pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pant and orders a drink. The bartender give him the drink but first asks, "Doesn't that steering wheel bother you? It looks uncomfortable."
The pirate replies "Argh!! Its driving me nuts!!"
Did you get those pants on sale?
Guy: Hey girl did you get those pants on sale?
Girl: No why. Do they look bad?
Guy: No cause they'd be 100% off at my place.
What do women's p**... and nail polish have in common?
What do women's p**... and nail polish have in common?
They both come off with alcohol.
So Jared Fogle was actually reported to have been spotted at a local Macy's.
He heard Boys pant were half off.
Did you hear they're making a movie about Hillary Clinton's rise to political power?
It's gonna be called "The Devil Wears Pant Suits"
I went to a Pantheist forest yesterday.
I tried to read the map, but all it said was, "You are HERE"
If Hillary Clinton stripped off her pant suit, what would you see?
Depends.
How are new pants like a sub-par mansion?
There's no ball room
I like my pants like I like my women...
Skinny and cheap
What did the pants say to the belt?
Don't let me down
Did you get those pants on sale?
Cause they'd be 100% off at my place.
Teacher: Why do many bald men have torn pant pockets?
Johnny: Sometimes, they too feel like s**... their hair...
Nothing gets p**... wet like a Navier-Stokes equation.
It's not called fluid mechanics for nothing.
Why did the chemist's pants keep falling down?
He had no *acetol*.
Why were the pants so sad?
You can't spell pantalones without alone.
"Don't get your p**... in a bunch" is terrible advice
They're bound to be more expensive when purchased separately.
Why are the golfer's pants never wrinkled?
Because he has 9 irons
What does someone who comes out of the pantry identify as?
*Pan-s**...*
Why are a golfer's pants always straight?
Because he has 9 irons
Not my p**...
A wife goes on a retreat for work.
When she returns, she finds a pair of p**... in her dresser that do not belong to her.
Furious, she questions her husband.
The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!"
So, the wife goes to the maid and questions her.
Indignant, the maid replies, "Madam, how should I know? These p**... don't belong to me. I don't even wear p**... just ask your husband!"
My pants so baggy...
I get a nickel every time I walk into the grocery store.
These pants are not gay.
They come straight from the closet.
I got in my wife's pants this morning.
She wasn't too happy once she found out.
What do you get when you pants the Pillsbury boy?
Dough nuts!
Tell me
"Tell me when you've come," I panted to my wife as I pumped away.
"2007 and twice in 2013." she said.
What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the countryside?
One's a pant in the country.
The other's a c××t in the pantry.
p**... aren't the best thing in the world
But they're REAL close to it...
What pants are the safest.
Jeans. They require a 2 step verification process to pee.
Why does the Panther break up with his girlfriend??
Because she was a Cheetahhhhh!
How do pants fit on a man with 5 p**...?
Like a glove
-Gilbert Gottfried (shortened)
He saw your p**..., Emma
Emma: Lita, Harris gave me 50$ for climbing that tree, again.
Lita: You idiot. That pervert saw your p**... just like the other time.
Emma: I'd never let him do that. That's why I didn't wear any p**... this time.
My pants: *look a bit crooked*
My music teacher: Just look #.
A woman's p**......
If a woman's bra is an Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder
And a man's underwear is an Under-the-b**...-Nut-Hut,
Then does that make a woman's p**... a Below-the-Patch-s**...-Hatch?
Why do woman's p**... have flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces buries there
Why did the pants watch too much TV?
They were slackers!
My wife's p**... are labelled 'Monday', 'Tuesday', 'Wednesday' ...
My underwear is labelled 'January', February', 'March'...
My pants are French.
They are....Toulouse
Me: I know p**... hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
**Bank Teller:** So— is this not a robbery?
**Me:** No, It is.
Pants...
Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the p**... outa your pants..
Those pants are like a cheap hotel
No ballroom
*Pants*
I always keep a joke in my pocket. My dad always has, and his father had before him.
Its in my genes.
How did one pant leg get the other pant leg's attention?
Ahem.
I feel like that joke was a waist.
I took my pants off at a party...
I guess I misunderstood what a gender reveal party was supposed to be.
