Following is our collection of Panda jokes which are very funny. There are some panda monkey jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these panda chimp puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and unloads it into the ceiling.
Why? Asks the confused waiter, as the panda starts leaving. He tosses a wildlife manual over his shoulder.
I'm a panda, he says at the door, look it up.
The waiter flips to the page about pandas, and it says, Panda. Large black and white bear-like animal native to China. Eats, Shoots, and leaves
Credits: Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'
The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'
I think it was just panda ring.
He orders his food just like normal. The waiter brings it out and he eats his meal. When the check comes, the panda pulls out a shotgun and shoots the waiter. He then promptly leaves. The cook sees this and says "Hey what was that for!?" The panda replies "I'm a panda. Look me up in the dictionary." Once the panda left, the cook brought out a dictionary and looked up the word "panda."
"Panda - a black and white bear. Native to China. Eats chutes and leaves."
Because it will create pandamonium
On the road to Extinction.
and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!
"The manager opens his dictionary and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwelling-mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white-coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves."
Pan, duh!
Shoots him 8 times in the black.
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders one of everything. The panda finishes up his meal and his bill comes the panda stands up and shoots the waiter. The manager comes out of the back and goes you've eaten all my food and shot my staff and wont even pay your bill what's wrong with you? The panda reply's "I'm a panda look me up in the dictionary" The manager goes and gets a dictionary he looks up panda and the definition is "Eats shoots and leaves"
And orders some food, after his meal the server comes out and asks how everything was and the panda bear pulls a gun a shoots him. The manager comes out and says "hey man what's going on?" The panda bear replies "I'm a panda bear Google it.." and leaves. The manager curiously Googled panda bear and was reading "panda bear: black and white bear, eats chutes and leaves."
You can explore panda macaque reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean panda distinct dad jokes. There are also panda puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.
But which one was the best?
The Koala's, as it was the most Koala-Tea.
Because all of their broads are in Atlanta
sits down and asks the bartender for food. after eating, gets up, takes out a gun and kills the bartender. as he is leaving, a shocked onlooker asks him "why did you do that?" and he answers "Hey. I'm a Panda. It's what I do."
in confusion, they look it up in an encyclopedia.
Panda. Mammal. Eats shoots and leaves.
He tells the bartender, "I'll have a scotch and....................................................a coke, thank you."
"Sure thing," replied the bartender, "but why the big pause?"
"I was born with them," says the panda raising his paws.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school.
The robot slaps the son
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!
The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!
The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.
The robot slaps the mom...
White because his father returned.
It eats shoots and leaves.
A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up, stretches, and pulls out a gun. He proceeds to shoot everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."
and asks the bartender if he can get a scotch...
.....
...and coke.
The bartender replies "Sure thing, but why the big pause?"
The Panda shrugs, lifts up his hands, and says "Was born with them."
It's now extinct
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. "Hey!" shouts the bartender and the panda yells back "I'm a panda google me" and sure enough 'panda: a tree climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'
The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.
I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
They were bamboozled.
You bamboo-zle it.
The zookeepers were bamboozeled.
No Bamboozle
...orders some food and everything seems fine. After he finishes. He pulls out a gun and starts shooting everything. As he is leaving the bartender jumps up and says, "what was that for?" Panda says, "I am a panda. Look it up." The bartender pulls out a dictionary and reads....
"Panda - eats shoots and leaves."
I heard he bamboozled them
Eats, shoots, and leaves.
It had nice Authentic Asian.
He eats, shoots and leaves
Because it eats, shoots, and leaves.
He was bamboo-zled!
Banned from the zoo. Trust me, I found out the hard way.
A panda walks into a bar and walks up to the bartender and says, "Can I get a
.
.
.
.
glass of water?"
The bartender says, "Sure, but why the big paws?"
*ba-dum-tshh*
He was bamboo-zled.
Bamboozled.
Unfortunately, I don't think we'll last; he just eats shoots and leaves.
They bamboozle you.
A bamboozle
A panda walks into a restaurant. He orders some food,then shoots the waiter dead. Then he gets up to leave. The manager said: "Hey! What are you doing?! You shot my waiter!" The panda said: "What did you expect? I'm a PANDA. Look me up!" The manager looks up the definition. "The panda: and animal of black and white coloring that eats, shoots,and leaves."
He sits down at a table and orders a sandwich. When the waiter brings him his check he pulls out a gun, shoots him and starts walking towards the door.
The bartender shouts over to him "hey, what'd you do that for?"
The panda says "I'm a panda buddy, look it up!"
The bartender quickly looks up the definition and sees:
Panda- Bear from Central and Western China forests with black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.
Bam-boo
Bamboozaled
He sits down and orders: I'd like one whiskey.......and a coke please
The bartender brings him his drinks and asks:" Here you go, but why the big pause?"
The panda looks down to his hands and says:" I was born with them"
You just need P and A
After eating, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and leaves.
Next day, the headlines read *Panda eats shoots and leaves!*
P and A
A panda eats chutes and leaves. The cop eats, shoots and leaves.
Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
He orders food, eats it, shoots the waiter, and leaves without paying.
The police question the panda.
They ask why he did it
The panda says to look up 'panda' in the dictionary.
Dictionary:
/Panda/
Eats shoots and leaves.
"Arent you going to pay me?" The panda was surprised and asked her why... She told him to look up prostitute and it clearly said (has sex in exchange for money) the panda laughed and told her to look up panda and it said "eats bush and leaves"
He orders a meal and quietly eats it. When the bartender comes with the check, the panda pulls out a shotgun, shoots the bartender, and prepares to leave the bar. The bartender, on his last breath, screams Why?! The panda pulls out a dictionary, points to the entry on pandas, which reads: Panda (n.) – Eats shoots and leaves.
He used his bear hands.
A soon-to-be Jurassic Park.
Because he eats shoots and leaves.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders food, eats it, shoots the waiter, and begins to walk out. The bartender yells to him, "You can do that!" The panda bear replies, "It's in the dictionary."
So they look up panda in the dictionary, and it says, "Panda: eats shoot and leaves."
Seems it's a story, that bear's repeating.
Because they're always telling them to pick a side.
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom...
A panda bear rolling down a hill
He eats shoots and leaves.
bamboolance.
A panda!
He's black
He's white
Hes Asian!
I guess I should have labelled them Not Safe for Wok...
So bear with me
bamBOO
Eats shoots and leaves
A panda
Because bamboo shoots.
Dad: what were you watching?
Son: Kung-Fu Panda
*\*robot slaps son\**
Son: Ok! It was an erotic movie.
Dad: WHAT?! When I was your age i didn't even know what an erotic movie was
*\*robot slaps dad\**
Mum: HAHAHA!!! He's your son after all
*\*robot slaps mum\**
On his way to the door the waiter exclaims why the f*ck did you do that?!
To which the tired looking panda rolls his eyes and tosses a torn up wildlife manual across the counter, i'm a panda, look it up... before casually walking out the exit
After finding the relevant chapter the waiter reads:
Panda: Large black and white bear-like mammal; eats, shoots and leaves.
The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.' The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
The panda orders a sandwich, eats it, shoots the scientist, and walks out of the bar.
The scientist explains while dying: a panda bear eats chutes and leaves
But you offer someone a jar of your pickled panda and they lose their shit.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the panda koala jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working panda panda bears piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.