Panda Day Jokes
6 panda day jokes and hilarious panda day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about panda day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Panda Day Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good panda day joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Panda's Day Out
A panda walks into high-end restaurant and sits down at a table. A waiter quickly asks for the order and brings it to him after thirty minutes.
After the delicious meal, the panda asks for the bill. As soon as the waiter brings it, the panda whips out a p**... and shoots him. The waiter dies on the spot and the panda runs away.
The police are called and owner explains the situation. But the police refuse to investigate. When the puzzled owner enquires why, the police just show a dictionary. It says,
"*Panda: A type of bear that eats shoots and leaves*"
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
After eating, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and leaves.
Next day, the headlines read *Panda eats shoots and leaves!*
What do you call the day the pandas go extinct ?
A pandamonium
What's the stupidest joke you know?
Here's mine:
A panda walks into a bar and orders his food and drinks. When he's done, the panda gets up and pulls out a gun, which he then shoots into the ceiling. He promptly leaves.
The next day, the panda goes into the same bar, at which point the bartender says, "Hey! You can't come in here after what you did yesterday, you didn't even pay!"
To which the panda says, "bartender, look up the definition of a panda in the dictionary."
The bartender opens his dictionary to "panda" and reads aloud, "panda - eats shoots and leaves."
3 Bears walk into a bar
I made up this joke in the shower the other day and have been trying to decide if it is a Great Bad joke or an Awful real joke. I hope you have an opinion on it.
A Black Bear, a Grizzly Bear, and a Panda walk into a bar.
The Black bear walks up to the bartender and says, "Excuse me sir, do you have any honey?"
The bartender says, "Sorry man, this is a bar. We don't serve honey."
The black bear says "Fine then! I'll take my business elsewhere!" and storms out.
After a moment, the grizzly bear walks up to the bar and says "Excuse me, do you have any salmon?"
The bartender sighs, and says "sorry man, we don't have any salmon."
Irritated, the Grizzly bear says 'Well then, I'm going to have to take my business elsewhere" and storms out.
The panda bear, who'd been watching the whole time walks up to the bar and plops down on a stool. He looks at the bartender and says "Jeez - those guys. Bunch of Amateurs, right?"
The bartender is a bit relieved as he says "Totally dude. Anyway, what can I get for you?"
The panda thinks for a minute and says "Oh, nothing fancy. I'll just take some bamboo."
A married pair of Biologists are camping in China...
And after a long day of cataloging the various flora and fauna, they get down to a little love making...
When suddenly, the man feels an ungodly pressure in his stomach. He leaves hastily to the woods to find a suitable place to relieve himself, leaving his wife alone in the tent.
Outside the tent, she can hear a rustling, and after a few tense moments, a Panda sticks its head through the tent flap. It lurches in, tears off the woman's blanket and swiftly goes about l**... her lady parts with incredible skill.
Needless to say the woman is flabbergasted, but is taken by the sheer skill of the Panda's tongue, when suddenly, the Panda perks up its ears and scurries out of the tent and into the wilderness. The man returns moments later, having heard her cries of passion...
Amid gasps, she tells him about the Panda and its strange behavior. The man flips through his handbook to the section on Pandas to glean further information...
"Panda: An Asian species of bear, native to China. Eats bushes and leaves."
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