Pancake Day Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

There were 3 moles living in a hole...

One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."

I promise just one beer

After a long day at work, a man goes home to his family to tell them he is going out for just one beer.
Wife: Honey, that's fine. But I swear if you come home shitfaced after midnight again its over!
Husband: I promise just one beer.
And out the door he went to his local watering hole. One turned into two, and two into four, until it was last call and the man stumbled out the door and made his way home. The next morning, expecting the worst, he woke up to a note left on the bed beside him that read: Good morning honey, I hope you a feeling okay, I have made pancakes and eggs for you downstairs, and after work I will cook your favorite supper.
Dumbfounded, the man goes downstairs and asks his son "What the hell happened here last night?"
Son: Dad you were straight shitfaced last night! Mom and I had to carry you into the house and upstairs to bed. You just passed out. Mom took your shoes and socks of and was starting to undo your shirt and tie when you shot up, threw mom across the room, and said 'get off me bitch, I'm married."

Mole joke

One day the dad mole pops his head out of the mole hole and goes: "I smell pancakes"
Then the mom mole squeezes her head out of the hole and says: " I smell pancakes and syrup"
Then the baby mole tries to squeeze his head up by gets stuck and says: "all I smell are moleasses"

A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole

A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles.Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

I can't believe its pancake day again already..

It's really crΓ©ped up on me!

Shrove Tuesday

"Dad why is my brother called George?"

"Cos he was born on St George's day"

"Dad why is my brother called David?"

"Cos he was born on St David's day"

"Dad.."

"Oh for crying out loud, enough with the questions, Pancake."

This is my grandfather's favorite joke

Three moles lived in a hole outside of a house. One day, they smelled the people in the house cooking breakfast. The first mole starts sniffing and says, "I smell pancakes!" The second mole says, "I smell syrup!" The third mole is behind the other two, starts sniffing and says, "All I smell is mole asses!"

It's pancake day already?

That sure crΓ©ped up fast.

Pancake Day

... Has has really crΓͺped up on me this year

It's pancake day?!

Well that creped up on us.

To all you beautiful girls, Happy Valentine's Day!

To all your fat girls, chin up, it's Pancake Day next week!

A mailman is working his last day on a route he's been doing for 20 years

He gets to the first house and a man greets him at the door with a very expensive bottle of wine and thanks him for his service. He arrives at the next house and is greeted by the entire family with a box of Cuban cigars and everyone wishes him a happy retirement.

He arrives at the third house where he is greeted by a gorgeous blonde with see through lingerie on. She leads him upstairs where they make love for an hour. When they're done she takes him downstairs where she cooks him a breakfast of pancakes,eggs and squeezed orange juice. As he's eating she gives him a card with $20 in it.

He's overwhelmed by all this and asks why. The blonde tells him You've been an amazing mailman over the years and when I heard you were retiring I asked my husband what we should do for you. He replied"Fuck him. Give him $20" The Breakfast was my idea

4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit ...

... as they await news on their wives' who are having babies

The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."

The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."

The Welshman said, "My boy was born on St David's Day, and I just had to call him David!"

The Irishman spoke up, "Ah, sure, it was just the same with our Pancake!"

Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she's worried about her 5 year old son's small penis. He said her problem is solved. You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime .

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast as per doctor's advise. She made 10 pancakes that morning. When her son saw the pancakes, he was screaming and was so excited to have it. Yeheey! pancakes! . She then stop him and said Wait..wait… you can only have 3, the rest is for your Dad."

Jimmy was not feeling well, so he went to the hospital to get tested ...

Two days later, he received a call to get to the hospital as fast as he could and NOT to have contact with anyone.

Upon arrival, he was ushered to a room where everyone was in HAZMAT suits.

The lead doctor said, "Sir.....I am sorry to inform you that your tests came back, and you are positive for HEADS."

Jimmy says, "Huh? What the hell is HEADS?

"Well Sir ... it is a mutated virus that combines Herpes, Ebola, AIDS, Diphtheria and Syphilis..."

"Oh, Dear God! What can you do?"

"Just stay calm..." the doctor replies, "the first thing we're going to do is get you a room all to yourself. Then, we are going to start you off with a diet of pancakes and pizza."

"Wait! What? Pancakes and pizza?" Jimmy asks, "Will that help cure me?"

"Well no..." the doctor replies, "But, it's the only things we can slip under the door."

I'm fed up with all these pancake day puns...

The next time I hear someone say one, I'll batter them.

Ever heard of Spontaneous Human Combustion?

I have a friend named Sally. Well... she's not really a friend, but I knew her in high school. Anyways, one day she went out shopping. As she was strolling through the aisles, her arm caught fire! Just her arm and nothing else. It was a fascinating sight to see. A young woman flailing about the cereals and pancakes with flames spewing from her arm. Finally, the police show up. They immediately throw her in cuffs and send her to jail. What was her charge?

Possession of an Unlicensed Firearm.

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

... sitting in a bar. Englishman raises his glass of ale and says "Here's to my son George. We named him George because he was born on St Georges Day".
The Scotsman raises his dram of whisky, "Here's to my son Andrew, named as such because he was born on St Andrew's Day".
The Irishman raises his Guinness and exclaims "Feck me what a coincidence - it's exactly the same for me and my son Pancake!"

I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day

Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her.

It's Pancake Day...

but when is it Heterocake Day?

What are the funniest pancake day jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Pancake Day? Well, here are the best Pancake Day puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Pancake Day pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes