Palm Reading Jokes
20 palm reading jokes and hilarious palm reading puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about palm reading that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Palm Reading Short Jokes
Short palm reading jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The palm reading humour may include short palm hand jokes also.
- So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman. She said she would like to read my palm... Okay!
She takes my hand and asks... "Do you come here often?" - Why did the psychic carry a book to the top of a tree on the beach? To practice palm reading.
- What's the best part being with a gypsy on her period? When youre done you get your palm read
- Why is that palm tree reading out your dead grandfather's will? Isn't it obvious? He's the Exeggutor of the estate.
- My brother-in-law is missing half of his hand due to a horrific logging injury, so I asked him do you get half off when you get your palm read?
- I bet a lady I met in the bar I could tell where she was born by reading her palm. After looking over her hand and asking silly questions for a minute I told her my answer, a hospital!
- I went to a palm reading. He said, "I can tell by looking at your hand that you have been in an accident recently."
I said, "That's incredible, but how?"
"Because your other arm is prosthetic." - Going to a psychic for a palm reading >gives psychic hand
>psychic sees wrist
>"These lines are telling me you're depressed" - I went to a fortune teller and told her I wanted my palm read... ...the b**... stabbed my hand.
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Palm Reading One Liners
Which palm reading one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with palm reading? I can suggest the ones about palm and palm sunday.
- Best thing about f**... a psychic on her period? You still get your palm read.
- What's the benefits of f**... a gypsy on her period Yew get your palm read for free.
Palm Reading Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about palm reading you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean palm tree jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make palm reading pranks.
A Frog Visits A Fortune Teller
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.
The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
The frog asks for the good news first.
The fortune teller says, "You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart."
That's great!" says the frog. "But what's the bad news?"
Well, you're going to meet her in Biology class."
At the fortune teller
h**... went to see a fortune teller. After he had sat down in the darkened room, the fortune teller said, I will read your palm for fifty dollars, and that entitles you to ask three questions.
Questions about what? asked h**....
About anything, replied the psychic.
But is not fifty dollars an awful lot to charge for that? complained h**....
Maybe, said the palmist, and what is your last question?
What did I do wrong?
My father-in-law has been pretty depressed since losing his job last year. I wanted to help out so I pulled some strings and got him a job at the palm reading business where I work. I thought my wife would be thrilled but somehow here I am sleeping on the couch. That's the thanks I get for giving her dad a h**....
A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will his life be better.
Guy: How will my future be?
FT: Till you're 42, you'll suffer thinking about your life getting ruined, cleaned out, agonized, strapped, tortured, penniless, distressed, dirt poor, tormented, wasted, unproductive, exhausted, dried up and living a lifeless life.
Guy: So what happens after 42.
FT: You'll stop thinking about it.
Kim Jong Un went to get his palm read.
"Ah", said the mystic. "One year from now I see great glory in your future.
Two years from now I see even greater glory.
Three years from now the glory is joined by love.
However I must warn you that past that I can read nothing of your future."
At this the dictator gets a bit panicked. " Do you mean to tell me that my enemies seek to kill me and will destroy glorious Korea in 4 years time?"
" No, no", assures the fortune teller. "Your existence and that of Korea continues beyond the next three years, I just can't read any of it because I can't read Chinese."
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love...
The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
The frog asks for the good news first.
The fortune teller says, You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her."
Great! says the frog. What's the bad news?
Well, you're going to meet her in biology class."
Silly Paul..
Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.
Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."
Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."
"That's true," said Paul.
"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"
"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"
"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.