Palm Reader Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

I went to see a palm reader.

"Judging by your palms," he said, "I can tell that you masturbate frequently."

"Sorry," I apologised, "I should probably wipe that off."

After seeing a palm reader, I gave him my money.

He held the note up to the light and frowned. "This is fake," he said.

I said, "Now you know what it feels like."

My wife wanted to visit a jubilant psychic, and I wanted to see a jovial palm reader.

Thankfully, we managed to find a happy medium.

A man with no hands walks into a palm reader's business

The palm reader looks at him and says, "well, I'm stumped."

I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand.

Must have been an insight joke...

What do you call a stoned palm reader on the dance floor?

A high medium getting low.

Why do palm readers make such good friends?

They're always there to hold your hand.

Silly Paul..

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.


Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.

Jesus goes to a palm reader

And she nailed it!

Saw Gallagher last weekend and this had me in tears.

Tried to take my girlfriend to get a physical....

...they kept turning me away saying "sir, this is a palm reader"

What are the funniest palm reader jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Palm Reader? Well, here are the best Palm Reader puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Palm Reader pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes