Pale Jokes
110 pale jokes and hilarious pale puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pale that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some funny pale jokes? We've got you covered with our collection of the best pale jokes around!
Funniest Pale Short Jokes
Short pale jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pale humour may include short pearly jokes also.
- My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.
- What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.
- Say what you like about Boko Haram, but you've got to admit, 'Whiter Shade of Pale' was a stone cold classic.
- What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer? One is hoplite, and the other a light hops.
- Why are homosexuals usually so pale? Because there's no light in the closet.
P.S: No, I'm not homophobic. - How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. There are no light bulbs in the closet.
Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet - What is it called when your son tells you that your skin is so pale that you look like a vampire? A Son-burn
- A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All... ...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support 69 for All
- People always tell me that my face is to pale so I stuck a plunger to my face... I've heard they help make things flush
- Drinking brandy always reminds my of my Grandmother She never touched the stuff, but she's Very Special, Old and Pale.
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Pale One Liners
Which pale one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pale? I can suggest the ones about stale and plain.
- Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale La La Land?
- My girlfriend looks like a Roman Goddess.. Pale, No arms.
- Why is Robert Pattison so pale? There's no sunlight in the closet.
- I like my women like I like my beer... ...pale and bitter.
- What do a midget albino and a tiny bucket have in common? They are both a little pale.
- I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head.
- what do you call a pale, introvert nerd? Fair and square
- What happened when the bucket saw a ghost? It went pale
- I saw Casper the ghost. I said, You look pale and drawn.
- I like my women like i like my tea. Pale and weak.
Hilarious I know. - Why did some White people back then hate Black people? Because they're pale in comparison
- What's black and devours blonde, red and pale? A singularity!
- Mom, why is dad so pale? Shut up Joseph, just keep digging
- Brett Kavanaugh and Bill Cosby. One rather pales in comparison.
- Hey girl, are you from the land of make believe? Cuz' you are Pales-fine
So Pale Jokes
Here is a list of funny so pale jokes and even better so pale puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a length of pipe and a pale Dutchman? One's a hollow cylinder, and the other's a sallow Hollander.
- Trump and Clinton had a race around The White House... Trump edged out Clinton by 10 seconds, but both paled to Bush. He completed it in 9:11.
- I like my women like I like my ice cream... Smooth, pale, cold, and recently extracted from a freezer.
- Did you hear about the Albino impressionist? Of course, her impressions always pale in comparison to the real thing
- What do police officers and pale teenagers have in common? They both try to pop black heads.
- What do Mexicans say about pale redheads? They have no sol
- Watching Avatar again Didn't notice the first time how odd it was that all the Na'vi were portrayed as so pale-skinned and blonde...
- Last night I sawa host of pale, emaciated figures, with haunted eyes that showed the agony of living death. It was my first time in a vegan restaurant.
- Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies. His name was Frank.
- How do you roast a Marshmallow? You call it fat and pale
Your So Pale Jokes
Here is a list of funny your so pale jokes and even better your so pale puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Chinese are fair people Although slightly pale
- Mommy! Why's daddy so pale? Quiet son, just keep digging!
- Vampires and red heads are kind of the same thing? (I'm a ranga) we're pale, we fear the sun, we eat human souls and I'm sure I'd die if someone steaked me haha
- Doctor Doctor, I'm really pale and don't understand sarcasm. You have low humorglobin caused by an irony deficiency.
Boom, and indeed boom. - What pales in comparison to a lie? A white lie.
- Boko Haram have really had a radical change in direction since their Whiter Shade of Pale days
- What do anemic people drink? Pale ale
- Why are soccer players always so pale? There's no light in the closet.
- My friend got a tan because he was so pale... I don't know what being a bucket had to do with it.
- How do you recognise a taxi driver? On his pale body, one of his hand will be sunburned
Great Pale Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about pale you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beige jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pale pranks.
m**... in Paris
A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a n**... man having s**... with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.
"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man r**... a dead woman in the bushes over there."
"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.
But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."
A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...
He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.
I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...
...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia.
...free, fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.
...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.
Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot?
Jurassic times call for Jurassic
Measures.
George Bush was receiving his daily report from his Defense Secretary.
During the report, the secretary said; And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. George suddenly went pale, put his head in his hands and began to sweat profusely.
His staff was astounded. They had never seen the president react like this to such a small loss. Then, after he had recovered slightly, the president brought his head up and quietly asked the aide next to him, "Just how many in a brazilian?"
Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch
One found a bone
[OC] So Palestine walks up to the United States...
And says "Hey, United States - remember me?"
The United States replies: "No...I don't recognise you."
Why was the paleontologist angry?
Because he had a bone to pick.
A paleontologist who studies failed ancestral lines...
A Faileontologist
What did the Palestinians do to honour Yasser Arafat when he died?
They gave him a 21 stone salute!
What's pale, lives in darkness and s**... blood?
A t**...
A chicken walks in to a bar...
A chicken walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "What'll be, chicken?"
The chicken says, "I'd like a nice pale ale with some type of a fruit flavor."
The bartender says, "You want the bar across the road."
What do Palestinian children dream of becoming when they grow up?
Old
The Better Paleo Diet
I'm on the Paleo diet, except I'm the caveman who discovered Snickers.
Why can't you use a Palestinian toilet?
It's occupied.
Paleontologists have just discovered a new species of dinosaur that was predominately lesbian...
They're calling it the Lickalotopuss.
What's pale, s**... blood and comes out at night?
A t**....
Where do Palestinians go to have fun at night?
The Gaza s**... club.
What do you call a really pale Asian?
Rice c**....
Why are Palestinian inflateable s**... dolls so popular?
They blow themselves up
Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.
As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.
What does a paleontologist say to start a fight?
I've got a bone to pick with you.
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
Why was the paleontologist upset?
No one showed up for his shindig.
What did the Palestinian philosopher say after he hit the nuclear button?
"What Israel?"
If you are Palestinian, you shouldn't go to the border..
..just wait for the border to come to you
My brother got possessed by a d**..., and since then he's become extremely pale and sickly.
The doctor said he just needed to go outside and get some exorcise.
I was just reading about a guy who was arrested for a hate crime in the U.K. for suggesting that people with fare skin complexions are responsible for the degeneration of society.
That's a little beyond the pale.
Why don't Palestinians like racing video games?
Because of all the checkpoints.
Pale Tomatoes...
Two women are talking while gardening. "Oh, I am SO jealous of your tomatoes. Mine are so pale and yours are bright red.".
"It's easy, just walk out in your nightgown early in the morning and flash them. They'll be bright red after a couple of days."
They meet again a few weeks later.
"Hey, did my hint about your tomatoes help?"
"Huh. The tomatoes are still pale, but my cucumbers are like five feet...".
An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.
The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.
When the hotdog is finished cooking and served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.
The American asks, What's wrong?
The Chinese Man replies, When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body.
What did the paleontologist say to his wife after 6 months in the field ?
You wanna bone?
Two good friends go golfing
Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. o**... says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"
The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"
What does one paleontologist say to the other at lunch?
Do you want to trilobite?
Paleontology
The study of gingers.
A Palestinian wakes up from a coma and is discovers he's been sleeping for decades.
He goes to the first person he sees and asks them Are the stories true? Is it real?
The man responds, Yes my friend, I'm afraid it Israel.
Why did the paleontologist have to use relative dating?
Because he was in Alabama.
What did the paleontologist find on the world's oldest fries?
Tomatosaurus
I'm so pale...
I'm so pale that when I went outside last winter, the neighborhood kids said, "Hey, look! Frosty's on a diet!"
I'm so pale that when I worked in the ice cream parlor and was giving a kid his vanilla cone, he started l**... my hand.
I'm so pale that my house is listed as haunted. It was built last year!
I'm so pale that when I went to confession, the priest told me to eat a clove of garlic.
An American spy comes into a Soviet bar
And orders a drink.
"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.
The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of v**... and drains it in one big gulp.
"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"
The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.
"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"
He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.
"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"
"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"
"There are no black Russians"
Why were the paleontologists kissing?
They were carbon dating
The resemblance was uncanny!
A newlywed man was in the garage working on his motorcycle. His new wife came out of the house and watched him work for a few minutes before saying, Now that we are married, you should probably sell that motorcycle.
The man's face went pale and he looked as if he might throw up.
Are you okay? Whats the matter? begged his wife.
He managed to get control of himself. For a minute there, you sounded like my ex-wife.
Your ex-wife? the woman exclaimed. You never told me that you were married before!
I wasn't, he said.
Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur Tibia.
It's going to be quite the shindig.
Paleontologists are celebrating the finding of the largest dinosaur tibia in recorded history
It's a real shin-dig!
Little Timmy and God
5yr old Timmy went to church and the priest wanted to teach them that god lives within us all..so the first child he saw was Timmy and he asked "wheres god Timmy?" and Timmy went pale white and ran home as fast as he could and hid under the bed...when his mother asked Timmy what happened he replied..
"gods missing and they blaming me!"
Education
As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant? ", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive. "I asked, "What's the difference? "He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education. "
