The Best 76 Pakistani Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pakistani jokes. There are some pakistani american jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pakistani punjabi puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pakistani Jokes and Puns

A Pakistani living in England (offensive)

A Pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human faeces and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.

Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."

Why does the Pakistani prefer the toilet over making love to his wife ?

The hole is tighter, and the smell is better.

What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow?

A moo-slim.

Pakistani joke, What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow?

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.


What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani Elementary school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

Musharraf - "Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush - "What buildings? What people?"

Musharraf - "Oh, what time is it in America now?"

Bush - "It's eight in the morning."

Musharraf - "Oops... Will call back in an hour."

Pakistani joke, So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

What's the difference between a Pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training ground?

I dunno, I just fly the drone.

Dead Pakistani

The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.

St. Peter: What do you want?
Pakistani man: I'm here for Jesus.
St. Peter: Jesus, your taxi's here!!

Home safety

I took my name off the Neighborhood Watch List.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, and multiple intelligence services are watching my house 24/7.

I've never felt safer in my entire Life!

What do you call a Pakistani with poor oral hygiene?

Plaquistani

You can explore pakistani persian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pakistani paki dad jokes. There are also pakistani puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What is the favourite meal of pakistani taliban members?

Tikka Malala

What's the difference between a Pakistani mosque and a Afghanistan mosque and an Iraqi mosque?

How should I know, I just fly the drones.

A pakistani cabbie called me a racist

I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists

What's the difference between a Pakistani Kindergarten and a Taliban Training Ground?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between Indians and Pakistanis?

When a Pakistani has a red dot on his forehead it means he has about two seconds to live.

Pakistani joke, What's the difference between Indians and Pakistanis?

I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer

I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.

I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.

The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.

Just saved 50 bucks!

I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I'm saving $49.95 a month!

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Pakistani Urdu Drama Serials, PTV, Geo , Hum. Plus, Express, Ary Digital, Urdu, Punjabi TV Drama Serials , Stage Shows, Films, Movies, lot of other Interesting Videos etc.


I come from a mixed race family...

My father prefers the 100 metres...and my mother is Pakistani.

I was at a Pakistani owned gas station...

There was some sort of problem with my debit card at the pump.

I know this because a message popped up that said "PLEASE SEE KASHIR."

Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.

We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-ass neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I have never felt safer and we're saving $49.99 a month!

Why do Pakistanis love football (soccer) so much?

... Because whenever they get a corner they open a 7/11.

PS: I'm Pakistani and I found this joke to be hilarious.

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?

Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store

Girl, you must be a Pakistani shopping mall

Because a lot of guys think they would be in paradise if they blew up inside you.

What did the clingy drone pilot say to the Pakistani women?

Sorry for blowing your phone up.

Why don't they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer?

Because they'll set up a shop.

There are so many Pakistanis and Nigerians in London these days

The city is starting to feel a lot less Polish

I have a Pakistani girl friend.

Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.

Bready dispute

I heard a couple of Pakistani friends of mine arguing for hours about bread rolls.

It was much Urdu about muffins.

India to ship free phones to Pakistan

Samsung note 7 to be given free to all terrorist and Pakistani army.

Game over

Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon.

Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."

BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."

What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between a Pakistani preschool and Isis headquarters?

I don't know man I just fly the drones

How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

As the navy seals burst into osama bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...

"It was just a prank bro"

Whats the differebce between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between a Taliban Outpost and a Pakistani School?

I don't know, why don't you ask the 50 drone pilots on this sub?

What's the difference between a Pakistani hospital and a terrorist camp?

We don't fund hospitals in Pakistan

Local Hero saves lady from Dog

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl! He kicks the dog, it dies!

Newspapers report: "Local Hero saves lady from Dog"

Man says I'm not American

Report changed: "Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"

Man says: Actually I'm Pakistani

Breaking News: "Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which was playing with a girl"

Pakistani breakup line

Boy to Girl: It's not you, it's my goat !

What's the difference between a Pakistani school and military base?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drone.

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .
Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Zain.
Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today. Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Zain?
Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny. Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised .
Teacher : What happened Johnny ?
Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

What's the difference between an AL Queada base and a Pakistani school?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

DISCLAIMER: Not my joke.

Why do the Pakistanis love lean cows?

Because they are moo-slim.

The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline

*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?

*Caller*: My life sucks, I see no way out.

*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.

*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?

*Hotline*: How close are you to India?

*Caller*: Don't know exactly, maybe 400km.

*Hotline*: So can you drive a truck?

A Pakistani boy took...

.... admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

What is the difference between a Pakistani School and a ISIS Trainingscamp?

I have no idea I'm only flying the drone.

What do you call a good looking Pakistani?

Asif

What's the name of the Pakistani man who's seen everything and been everywhere?

Binder Dundat

Why do Pakistanis celebrate July 4th?

Because all the drone pilots are on vacation

Why does the current Pakistani Prime Minister hate the Calibri font?

Because it is sans Sharif

What does my wife telling me about her day have in common with a Pakistani elementary school?

We're both in for a droning.

John was a little disturbed.

He confided in a friend: I have a Pakistani girlfriend. She says she will blow me.

Now I don't know whether to lower my pants or call the police....???

A German, Frenchman, and Pakistani walk into a bar

"Jeez, we should lower the bar" the Olympic hurdle committee exclaimed.

What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in Los Angeles?

Lahore.

The Pakistani cricket team walk into a bar...

to watch the Indian Premier League

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

You know the famous Pakistani comic book guy...

Pakistan-Lee?

What's the difference between a Pakistani grade school and an Al-Qaeda training base?

How am I supposed to know, I just pilot the drone

A guy walks through a Pakistani village

He sees a man dusting off a carpet from his shop and asks "What's the matter, it won't start?"

What do you call a Pakistani woman with no legs?

A Paki-no-standy Woman

A Pakistani prostitute walks into les barreaux.

All the soΓ»lards shout, "LAHORE".

What do you call a Pakistani with a sheep and a goat

Bisexual

What do you call a Pakistani Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup.

Im not racist.

Ive raped black, hispanic, Asian, and Pakistani woman.

What do you call a gay Pakistani?

Ramaman Deep.

What do you call a lesbian Pakistani?

Minjeeta

A two-seater plane crashed in a cemetery in Lahore

Pakistani police has so far discovered 25 bodies

Pakistani proverb.

Optimistic students take English. Pessimistic students take Chinese. Realists take Kalashnikov assault rifle.

Offensive warning

An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man are waiting at a hospital as their wives had just given birth. A midwife comes in and explains that the name tags have been messed up and they will have to work out which baby belongs to who. The English man, by right, goes first and chooses what is clearly the Pakistani child. When the baby's father points this out to him, he says I know, but there's a Welsh kid in there and I'm not taking any chances

Pakistani Girlfriend

My Pakistani GF wants to blow me tonight....
I'm not sure if I should be excited or scared ...

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

Translated Pakistani Joke: A man walks into a store and asks for a live chicken for a party

The store owner gives him a chicken, the man pays, and he leaves.

Sometime later, the man comes back with the chicken, furious.

The shopkeeper asks him, What's wrong with the chicken? Why have you brought it back to me so angry?

The man yells and says that one leg of the chicken is shorter than the other.

The shopkeeper replies, Are you eating the chicken or putting it on the dance floor?

The police arrive to find two Irishmen with a dead Pakistani.

The Police ask, Do you know how this man died?
The Irishmen reply, No we don't know anything about the man!
The police then ask, Do you know what his name was?
The Irishmen reply again, and they say I told you I don't know anything about the man! We just went drinking with him a lot but never knew anything about him. All I know is that he has two arseholes.
The police asked in shock, Are you sure he had two arseholes?
The Irishmen replied, We're absolutely certain. Every time we went to a bar with him, the barman would always say, 'Look! There's the Pakistani with those two arseholes!'

Wow glad you guys liked this one

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pakistani syrian jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pakistani scot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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