Pakistan Jokes

What are some Pakistan jokes?

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Two families make a bet on who can be more american

Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.

A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.

How about you?"

The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, towel head"

What is the national bird of Pakistan?

An American drone.

What do you call a man from Pakistan who's been everywhere and done everything?

Bindair Dundat

I called a suicide prevention line.

It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

Depression

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I felt like I needed to end it all, so I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

What Is The National Bird Of Pakistan..

***General Atomics MQ-1 Predator***

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .
Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Zain.
Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today. Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Zain?
Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny. Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised .
Teacher : What happened Johnny ?
Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

A Pakistani boy took...

.... admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

A Pakistani living in England (offensive)

A Pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human faeces and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.

Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."

Pakistan makes nuclear threat in response to fake news

The struggle Israel

a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india )

A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Indians. I approached the border, and saw an Indian tank. I put my white flag up, the Indian tank put his white flag up. I said to the Indian soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"

An pakistani in the US fears for his safety

Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.

So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.

I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.

Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.

My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.

I have never felt safer.

Trump to bartender: We are going to nuke Pakistan & kill Mia Khalifa

Bartender: why mia khalifa?

Trump to Imaran Khan: see nobody cares about Pakistan!

Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?

Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store

It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.

Talk Abbottabad place to hide.

Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon.

Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."


BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."

A Pakistani boy takes admission in an American School.

A Pakistani boy takes admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?

Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, you are in America now so from now on your name is Johnny.

The boy went home after his school ended and his mother asks him "How was the day Nadir?"

Boy : Mom, I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

The boy's Mom and Dad both get offended and beat him up. Next day he goes back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

What did the Spanish tourist say when he saw a prostitute after arriving in Pakistan?

Lahore

Reports of terrible flooding in Pakistan

Authorities fear it was the work of a suicide plumber

India and Pakistan calling each other out

Kashmir Outside

Why do the Pakistanis love lean cows?

Because they are moo-slim.

Pakistani Girlfriend

My Pakistani GF wants to blow me tonight....
I'm not sure if I should be excited or scared ...

What healthcare program is offered to the citizens of Pakistan?

OsamaCare... It's the bomb.

I have a Pakistani girl friend.

Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.

Did you hear about the bomb blast in Pakistan?

Apparently the terrorists were tired of the commute and wanted to work from home for a while

The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline

*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?

*Caller*: My life sucks, I see no way out.

*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.

*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?

*Hotline*: How close are you to India?

*Caller*: Don't know exactly, maybe 400km.

*Hotline*: So can you drive a truck?

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

What did the stubborn Hindu in Pakistan say after partition?

Na-ama-ste

Did you hear about the refuse collector in Pakistan who died after carrying too much rubbish?

He was Bin Laden.

Do you know how I got from Iraq to Pakistan?

Iran

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

Depression

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, Social Security, retirement funds, and everything that I called the Suicide Lifeline. I was forwarded to a call centre in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they asked if I could drive a truck...

If Pakistan is an Islamic country.....

Then why is its capital called Islama**bad**?

Why does Pakistan never get a corner during a football match?

Every corner they get, they open a shop on it

What do you call a French hooker in Pakistan?

Lahore

When they say a girl is dynamite

In Pakistan, they mean it.

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief...

Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed.

Pakistan has shot down 2 Indian Jet fighters.

Using sophisticated Sikh - Heating missiles.

69 years ago

both India and Pakistan got independence on this day.

Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and

Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen

Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

Politics in Pakistan

You don't cast your vote.

You vote your caste.

What's the name of the Pakistani man who's seen everything and been everywhere?

Binder Dundat

An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan

Indian guy goes "Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."

I will show myself out.

What is the most forbidden spice in Pakistan?

Haram masala

A joke from Pakistan: What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

"I'm going to be the mother of your children."

I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Why do Pakistanis celebrate July 4th?

Because all the drone pilots are on vacation

An Afghan, upon landing at Islamabad Airport,


introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

The surprised Pakistani Officer asked:"But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping.?"

The Afghan replied: "Wallah ya Habibi, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan.?"

What do you call a nationalistic middle-eastern?

a Pakistan

Why are Pakistan not allowed to play football?

Because every time they get a corner they set up a shop.

My friend from Pakistan said he hates his job and can't take it anymore

"It will get better", I said. "You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 12 years old."

If you ever feel useless, just remember...

... there is an anti-terrorist squad in Pakistan

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Why don't they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer?

Because they'll set up a shop.

What's the national martial art of Pakistan?

Karachi

A pakistani cabbie called me a racist

I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists

Did you know Osama Bin Laden was found and killed in Pakistan?

Talk Abottabad place to hide!

I was at a Pakistani owned gas station...

There was some sort of problem with my debit card at the pump.

I know this because a message popped up that said "PLEASE SEE KASHIR."

What is the difference between a rebel base and a Pakistan school?

I don't know I'm just a drone pilot

Pakistani breakup line

Boy to Girl: It's not you, it's my goat !

Why do Pakistanis love football (soccer) so much?

... Because whenever they get a corner they open a 7/11.

PS: I'm Pakistani and I found this joke to be hilarious.

I have two sweaters. One made in Pakistan, the other in India.

They're both Cashmere.

Why do Pakistan not have an international football team?

Everytime they get a corner they set up a shop.

Why doesn't Pakistan have its national football team?

Whenever they get a corner, they will set up a shop.

Why does the Pakistani prefer the toilet over making love to his wife ?

The hole is tighter, and the smell is better.

PAKISTANI DRAMA SERIALS

Pakistani Urdu Drama Serials, PTV, Geo , Hum. Plus, Express, Ary Digital, Urdu, Punjabi TV Drama Serials , Stage Shows, Films, Movies, lot of other Interesting Videos etc.

How to make Pakistan jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Pakistan to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Pakistan? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Pakistan pick up lines to share with friends.

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