The Best 68 Pakistan Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Pakistan jokes. From jokes about the Pakistani government to jokes about Pakistani culture, we've got something for everyone.

Top 10 Funniest Pakistan Jokes and Puns

A Pakistani living in England (offensive)

A Pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human faeces and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.

Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."

Why does the Pakistani prefer the toilet over making love to his wife ?

The hole is tighter, and the smell is better.

Depression

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I felt like I needed to end it all, so I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

What do you call a French hooker in Pakistan?

Lahore

jokes about pakistan

Did you hear about the refuse collector in Pakistan who died after carrying too much rubbish?

He was Bin Laden.

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

A joke from Pakistan: What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

"I'm going to be the mother of your children."

I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Pakistan joke, A joke from Pakistan: What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief...

Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed.

I called a suicide prevention line.

It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

When they say a girl is dynamite

In Pakistan, they mean it.

A pakistani cabbie called me a racist

I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists

You can explore pakistan bangladesh reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pakistan sri lanka dad jokes. There are also pakistan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Politics in Pakistan

You don't cast your vote.

You vote your caste.

Why doesn't Pakistan have its national football team?

Whenever they get a corner, they will set up a shop.

An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan

Indian guy goes "Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."

I will show myself out.

What Is The National Bird Of Pakistan..

***General Atomics MQ-1 Predator***

What did the stubborn Hindu in Pakistan say after partition?

Na-ama-ste

Pakistan joke, What did the stubborn Hindu in Pakistan say after partition?

What was the name of the pakistani hide and seek champion ?

'amhid'

I was at a Pakistani owned gas station...

There was some sort of problem with my debit card at the pump.

I know this because a message popped up that said "PLEASE SEE KASHIR."

An pakistani in the US fears for his safety

Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.

So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.

I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.

Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.

My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.

I have never felt safer.

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?

Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store

Why does Pakistan never get a corner during a football match?

Every corner they get, they open a shop on it

Why don't they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer?

Because they'll set up a shop.

There are so many Pakistanis and Nigerians in London these days

The city is starting to feel a lot less Polish

Depression

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, Social Security, retirement funds, and everything that I called the Suicide Lifeline. I was forwarded to a call centre in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they asked if I could drive a truck...

I have a Pakistani girl friend.

Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.

Pakistan joke, I have a Pakistani girl friend.

69 years ago

both India and Pakistan got independence on this day.

Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and

Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen

Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

What is the most forbidden spice in Pakistan?

Haram masala

a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india )

A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Indians. I approached the border, and saw an Indian tank. I put my white flag up, the Indian tank put his white flag up. I said to the Indian soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"

Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon.

Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."

BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."

Reports of terrible flooding in Pakistan

Authorities fear it was the work of a suicide plumber

Pakistan makes nuclear threat in response to fake news

The struggle Israel

Why do Pakistan not have an international football team?

Everytime they get a corner they set up a shop.

It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.

Talk Abbottabad place to hide.

Pakistani breakup line

Boy to Girl: It's not you, it's my goat !

Did you hear about the bomb blast in Pakistan?

Apparently the terrorists were tired of the commute and wanted to work from home for a while

India and Pakistan calling each other out

Kashmir Outside

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .
Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Zain.
Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today. Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Zain?
Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny. Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised .
Teacher : What happened Johnny ?
Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

What did the Spanish tourist say when he saw a prostitute after arriving in Pakistan?

Lahore

What healthcare program is offered to the citizens of Pakistan?

OsamaCare... It's the bomb.

Why do the Pakistanis love lean cows?

Because they are moo-slim.

The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline

*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?

*Caller*: My life sucks, I see no way out.

*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.

*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?

*Hotline*: How close are you to India?

*Caller*: Don't know exactly, maybe 400km.

*Hotline*: So can you drive a truck?

A Pakistani boy took...

.... admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

What is the national bird of Pakistan?

An American drone.

What's the name of the Pakistani man who's seen everything and been everywhere?

Binder Dundat

Why do Pakistanis celebrate July 4th?

Because all the drone pilots are on vacation

Why are Pakistani Wedding Cakes made out of faeces?

To keep the flies off the bride.

If Pakistan is an Islamic country.....

Then why is its capital called Islama**bad**?

What do you call a man from Pakistan who's been everywhere and done everything?

Bindair Dundat

The Pakistani cricket team walk into a bar...

to watch the Indian Premier League

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Two families make a bet on who can be more american

Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.

A Year later they meet again. The first man says,"My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and im on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.

How about you?"

The second man replies, "Go back to your sand country, towel head"

Whereabouts is Pakistan?

He's outside playing football with Paki John

Pakistan has the most catchy tourism tagline...

Come Have a Blast, It may be your last.

Pakistani proverb.

Optimistic students take English. Pessimistic students take Chinese. Realists take Kalashnikov assault rifle.

Do you know how I got from Iraq to Pakistan?

Iran

Pakistani Girlfriend

My Pakistani GF wants to blow me tonight....
I'm not sure if I should be excited or scared ...

Pakistan has shot down 2 Indian Jet fighters.

Using sophisticated Sikh - Heating missiles.

Trump to bartender: We are going to nuke Pakistan & kill Mia Khalifa

Bartender: why mia khalifa?

Trump to Imaran Khan: see nobody cares about Pakistan!

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

An Afghan, upon landing at Islamabad Airport,


introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

The surprised Pakistani Officer asked:"But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping.?"

The Afghan replied: "Wallah ya Habibi, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan.?"

What do you call a french prostitute in Pakistan?

Lahore

I got punched twice for making a dadjoke.

Once in India, another in Pakistan.

It was Pun Jab.

Did you know the 80's pop band "A Flock of Seagulls" is gaining alot of attention in the middle east? They're getting really popular in Pakistan, Afghanistan

And Iran, I ran so far away!

Pakistan is such a weird country

It's a Muslim country but their capital is Islamabad?

Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...

...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...

He is immediately stopped by Paxtani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he's the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

Paxtani border officer: "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?"

Afghan: "Don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?"

When it comes to corruption in countries Nigeria takes first place and Pakistan comes in second.

I have a feeling that Pakistan bribed Nigeria to take first place…

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pakistan myanmar puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pakistan bhutan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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