Pair Twins Jokes
34 pair twins jokes and hilarious pair twins puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pair twins that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pair Twins Short Jokes
Short pair twins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pair twins humour may include short sets twins jokes also.
- There's a pair of twins, Ivan and Oliver Peterson. They both became doctors. Not medical doctors, but doctors in meteorology.
They study the rain. You know,
Dr.I.P.
Dr.O.P. - What do you call a pair of conjoined hebrew twins with far left political views? An SJ Double Jew
- Why are twins banned from grocery store produce sections? Because they always come in pairs.
- A pair of conjoined twins went to see the psychiatrist. Twin A confessed to wanting to have s**... with twin B. The shrink responded... Hey, you do you.
- What do you call a pair of twins who live together? What do you call a pair of twins who live together?
"w**...-mates" - If twin ducks travel back in time and have a t**... with their mother on the day they were conceived... ...do they create a pair'a'ducks?
- I once had s**... with a pair of midget twins. One of them told me that she will charge $15 for o**... since she has really ugly teeth.
The other one said, "Don't sell yourself short."
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Pair Twins One Liners
Which pair twins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pair twins? I can suggest the ones about twins and identical twins.
- I just dumped a pair of conjoined twins. I said, "It's not you, it's you."
- I recently broke it off with a pair of conjoined twins. I said, "It's not you, it's you."
- What do you call Polish twins? A pair of skis
- What do you call two twin emt officers? A pair of medics
- Why should you never buy a twin a basket of fruit? Because they come in pairs.
- What do you call a pair or twins before they are born.. Wombmates
- What do you call a pair of identical twins who are stewardesses? Hostess Twinkies
Uproarious Pair Twins Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about pair twins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean birth twins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pair twins pranks.
A pair of twins have a deal...
They constantly get in trouble with the law for various reasons and are frequently thrown in jail. They don't like staying in jail for too long, so they made a deal: if only one of the twins is arrested and imprisoned, the other twin will sneak in and swap places with them when they have spent half the time served in prison.
It's great to see these twins are so close that they're always finish each other's sentences.
So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
When I was circumcised they accidentally took a little extra off.
They ended up using it as skin grafts for a pair of twin's eyelids.
Now I'm getting sued by the parents because they're a little c**...-eyed.
s**... joke I just made up...
There was a pair of twins called Harold and Aruld who decided to do a social experiment. Harold would act all nice, polite and friendly, whereas Aruld would act rude, outspoken and brash. They went into a few stores and conversed with some customers and staff, and afterwards a representative went in to ask who, out of the two they preferred. Strangely, Harold didn't get a single vote.
London's a weird place...
A pair of twins walk into a bar...
A pair of twins walk into a bar.
A man walks up to them and asks:
"So is it true that twins can communicate telepathically"
They look at each other in silence for about 30 seconds when the man says:
"I'm sorry if that was an awkward question, it was s**... of me to ask"
They respond in unison "No it's fine, we were just discussing an answer to give you"
A married couple went to a lawyer to get a divorce.
Since they had three kids the lawyer asked, "How should we separate them between you two?".
They two discussed for five minutes and then the woman said, "We'll be back in 10 months".
Ten months later, they were blessed with a pair of twins.
Recently I met a pair of twins named Sharon and Karen
They were wearing the same clothes, same makeup, and same personality. In fact, they were pretty much the same person. So I guess it is just as they say,
Sharon is Karen
There were a pair of twin skunks...
One was named in, the other was named out. When out was out, in was in and when in was in out was out. One day, out was in and in was out so mama told out to go out and bring in in, so out went out and brought in in, and mama asked "how did you find in so quickly?"
He replied, "In-stinked!"
2 twins changing their name.
There are a pair of twins called Ving and Ling. Ving decided to go to the town hall to change his name. Ling decided to give him a lift there. When they arrived Ling reminded Ving that he would disgrace their family if he changed his name to Lee. Ving takes a form and quickly fills it out to change his name. He sends off the form, but immediately starts to regret it. He is told that to revoke his form he must pay a small fee. Ling takes out her purse and is about to hand over the money when suddenly... A man, their father, bursts through the door and embraces Ving and tells them, "Don't stop, be Lee, Ving", "Hold on to that fee, ling."
A Latino couple have two twins
One is named Juan, and the other is named Jamal. The mother is ecstatic because she had a pair of beautiful twins. However, they can only afford to raise one. After much debate between the mother and father, they decide to give up Jamal for adoption and to keep Juan. Many years go by. One day, the mother says to the father, its been so many years, I wonder what Jamal looks like. My dear boy must be so big by now. The father replies, well, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.
Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage
Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.
A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce," the judge said.
"Well, Your Honor," Tony began, "periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and because she and my wife are identical,
occasionally I'd end up making love to her by mistake."
"I understand they're identical twins, but surely there must be some difference
between the two women," said the judge.
"Precisely, Your Honor," replied Tony "That's why I want a divorce."
A pair of twins in a nursery home are both turning 100
One twin has bad hearing and the other can hear fine. A news reporter comes to take a picture of them for the newspaper. The reporter says
"I need you guys to sit on the sofa"
"What'd he say?" Said the woman with bad hearing
"He said to sit on the sofa" said the twin with good hearing. They both went over and sat on the sofa.
"Scoot closer together" said the reporter
"What'd he say?"
"He said to scoot closer together" said the twin with good hearing.
"Sit tight while I focus" said the reporter
"What'd he say?"
"He said he's going to focus" said the twin with good hearing.
"Oh! Both of us at the same time?"
Identical Twins
A pair of identical twins is born and they are soon put up for adoption. One twin is adopted by a Spanish family, and given the name Juan. Another twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and he is named Amal.
Many years later, the biological parents decide that they would like to connect with their twins that were put up for adoption. Through the adoption agency, they contact the Spanish family and have a nice reunion with their son.
When the adoption agency asks the parents if they'd like to meet the other identical twin, the father says "No thanks. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."