Pair Glasses Jokes
23 pair glasses jokes and hilarious pair glasses puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pair glasses that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pair Glasses Short Jokes
Short pair glasses jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pair glasses humour may include short reading glasses jokes also.
- YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL ALL SEE! An enthusiastic optician throwing dozens of pairs of glasses out into a crowd.
- my sight was getting bad so I went to get glasses ... I could not afford a pair so I bought a monocle instead -
at least now I have 1920 vision. - A guy walks into an optician A guy walks into an optician and says: I think I need a new pair of glasses.
I think so too sir. You're in a bakery. - "Doctor, doctor! I need a new pair of glasses!" "I can see that - this is a hotdog stand."
- I once wore a pair of glasses that were made from two cookies..... .….then I asked this lady "How do they look?"
She said "They look very crumby!" - I went to the opticians today and got a pair of new glasses, my observational comedy has got a lot better.
- A mom finds a fake mustache and pair of glasses in her sons room.... She asks the son, "whose is this?"
The son replied "Disguise".
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Pair Glasses One Liners
Which pair glasses one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pair glasses? I can suggest the ones about eye glass and glasses name.
- What's the best name for a pair of glasses? Seymour
- What did the optometrist give Helium? A pair of noble glasses
- I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again.
- Why should you never sit on a pair of glasses? Because hindsight is always 20/20.
- A pair of glasses are found on the floor What a spectacle!
- Your second pair of glasses made you look more dignified 're-specticles
Hilarious Fun Pair Glasses Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about pair glasses you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wearing glasses jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pair glasses pranks.
An old snake
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine, doc. I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.
Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.
glass pants
A man saw a sign in a clothing store which said "We sell everything!"
The guy walked up to the clerk and asked her for some glass pants.
The woman replied,
"Sorry sir we don't sell those".
The man argued that the sign stated that the store sold everything.
The woman remarked that glass pants did not even exist.
The man went to his home, and came back to the store wearing a pair of glass pants. The man said triumphantly, "See, I told you that they existed!"
The woman said, "At first I thought you were crazy.....but now I see
you're nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Brewers Convention
There's a big convention of brewers from all over the world. At the end of the first day, Nils, Hank and p**... go for a drink together to share their thoughts. They get settled at the bar, and the landlord comes over to take their order.
Nils says, "I've worked for Carlsberg for ten years, so I'll have a Carlsberg." The landlord gets a glass, pulls a pint, and hands it to Nils.
Hank says, "Gee, I've been at Busch for twenty years: I'm having a Bud." The landlord takes a bottle from under the bar, opens it, and hands it over.
Then it's p**...'s turn. "To be sure, I've worked at Guinness since I was a wee boy, thirty years ago, but I'll have a lemonade," he says.
The other two look at him in disbelief. He turns to the landlord, shrugs his shoulders, and say "Well, if this pair aren't drinking beer, I'm not going to be the odd one out!"