The Best 43 Paintings Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Paintings jokes. There are some paintings exhibition jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these paintings monet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Paintings Jokes and Puns

I want to start a cafe and fill it with surrealist paintings.

I'll call it Salvador Deli.

A Painter and a Gallery Owner

Painter: How are my paintings selling?

Gallery Owner: Well, there is some good news and some bad news. A man came in the other day and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he bought everything you had in the gallery.

Painter: Wow! That's terrific! What's the bad news?

Gallery Owner: He was your doctor

What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

Paintings joke, What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

A painter got a call...

from the gallery that was showing his work. The gallery owner said, "I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist's death. I sad yes, and he bought all fifteen paintings. The bad news is that he's your doctor."

Art Thief

An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.

He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"

The thief replies:

"I did not have the Monet

to buy Degas

to make the Van Gogh"


Women are like abstract paintings...

They can be very beautiful, and they often don't make any sense.

I like my women like I like my M.C. Escher paintings

Impossibly proportioned

Paintings joke, I like my women like I like my M.C. Escher paintings

Who is this Rorschach guy?

And why does he keep making paintings of my parents fighting?

An artist gets some good and bad news.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy is your doctor !"

Two women meet over a coffee.

"Ah, Marie, I haven't seen you in years, what's going on in your life?"

"I have met a charming and well-off young man half my age."

"Majestic."

"Indeed. He took me to Paris, we dined in the finest restaurant, bought paintings from the vernissage!"

"Majestic!"

"Once we marry, he insists that I retire to our moderately sized European house, free to pursue my leisure activities."

"Definitely majestic!"

"But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Annette. What are you up to lately?"

"I signed for an etiquette class. We've already learned to say 'majestic' instead of 'fucking horseshit'"

I was walking around an art gallery with my wife.

"Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.

I said, "Yes, some of the paintings."

You can explore paintings benefactor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean paintings mural dad jokes. There are also paintings puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf Hitler today.

I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew.

Art Thief

A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mastermind replies with "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The gentleman was your doctor."

Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?

Because they could only draw guns.

I hate it when people pretend they know everything about culture when they talk about Mozart

They probably have never seen any of his paintings.

Paintings joke, I hate it when people pretend they know everything about culture when they talk about Mozart

A man is showing off his paintings at an art exhibit when he's approached by his agent..

His agent tells him "I've got good news and bad news."

"Okay," says the man, "what's the good news?"

"This woman has offered to buy all of your paintings! She loves them, and she thinks they'll skyrocket in price after your death."

"Amazing!" says the man, "What could be the bad news?"

"Well," says the agent, "the woman is your doctor."

What did they call the exhibition of paintings by Democrats?

Liberal arts.

Recently, a burglar in Paris...

Recently, a burglar in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past heavy security, he was captured only two blocks away, when his getaway vehicle stalled in the middle of the road. When asked how he could mastermind such a daring crime, and then be caught only a couple blocks away, he replied,

I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.


My friend Todd is a midget and was asked to judge paintings at an art show...

While reviewing the entries, they came across a particularly terrible painting.

"Oh my god, this is amazing," said Todd, "I think we've found our winner."

"Are you for real?" one of the other judges asked.

"No, I'm just a little art official."

What's the difference between Neanderthal man, and Cro-magnon man?

Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings.

What did the neckbeard call his wall sized paintings of a Russian mountain range?

M'Urals.

What do you call an artist that eats all their paintings?

An oeuvre-eater.

What does Bob Ross's paintings and an orphanage have in common?

They're both full of happy little accidents

I like my men like I like my paintings...

Hung, and up against the wall.

How did Jesus get in such good shape to always have a six-pack in his paintings?

Cross-fit

Artist: "I always show my paintings to large rocks because I need their opinion."

Everyone knows that "Beauty is in the eye of the boulder."

A thief tried to steal paintings from the Louvre...

A thief attempted to steal paintings from the Louvre in Paris, but was caught 2 blocks away when his van ran out of gas. All the thief could say for himself was: I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried for it anyway because I had nothing Toulouse!

I hate people who pretend they're cultured when they talk about Mozart.

I bet they haven't seen any of his paintings.

Did you know I store paintings under the hood?

It makes my Van Gogh

What country is known for cave paintings?

Denmark

I'm planning on opening an art boutique.

I'll sell paintings of jesus smoking weed.

It'll be a high prophet enterprise.

What did the classical art museum acquisitions director say to the arts benefactor and collector of early Renaissance paintings?

S3ND NUD3S

Art thief.

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

My father loved the photos and paintings of John Audubon

He collected as many photos and paintings of all the different birds around the world.

As he lay on his deathbed facing the "wall of wading birds" I asked him if he would have done anything different.

His eyes panned across the wall and he frowned. With his last words he said.

"I have no egrets"

My buddy makes counterfeit life-like paintings of Mongolian battle scenes

He's a real Khan artist.

Now that I have lived through a plague...

I get why most renaissance paintings are of fat people lounging around with their boobs and dicks out

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''

An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales

Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"

Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.

Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"

Curator: "It was your doctor."

Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor

I'm going to make sure Adolf Hitler never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."

What type of art is the favorite of the US Military?

Oil paintings

My wife started redecorating the house again. . .

She's doing a great job, but then she hung-up a couple paintings of trains that were almost touching the floor.

I asked her what was the deal with the paintings.

She told me they were low co-motifs .

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the paintings painting company jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working paintings paint job piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes