Painting Art Jokes
49 painting art jokes and hilarious painting art puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about painting art that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Painting Art Short Jokes
Short painting art jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The painting art humour may include short drawing art jokes also.
- I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ... a security guard wandered over to me and said sir you can't wear that in here
- A real picasso painting declared a forgery by a fake authenticator... ...is art officially artificial according to an artificial art official.
- People ask why I never finish my paintings I remind them I am a black belt in partial arts!
- I was walking around an art gallery with my wife. "Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.
I said, "Yes, some of the paintings." - A friend of mine is convinced that Van Gogh painted the Mona Lisa. I just don't have the 'art to correct him.
- There's a new category of art where people paint babies who died in childbirth. Still life.
- What did the Art Major say to the Other Majors? I'll paint your reactions when your Jobs are Automated if you buy me dinner!
- I'm opening the first place you can create a painting and brew your own beer It's called "Arts & Crafts"
- An art thought he lost his favorite colour of paint but... It was just a pigment of his imagination
- I went to an art event this morning, and this painting really SPOKE to me... I then remembered that I forgot to take my schizophrenia medication.
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Painting Art One Liners
Which painting art one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with painting art? I can suggest the ones about painting house and paint.
- What type of art is the favorite of the US Military? Oil paintings
- I don't like to use painting softwares Because it is Electronic Arts
- Why did a man paint a bullseye for the Louvre? Because he liked d'arts.
- Give a man a burger in school. He will ask some red paint from the art major
- What did they call the exhibition of paintings by Democrats? Liberal arts.
- My wife decided to take up painting Not to be outdone, I became an art critic.
- Are you a work of art? Because it looks like Picasso painted you.
- 'I love your paintings' Someone in an art gallery
or
a Jamaican in a b**... shop.
Painting Art Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about painting art you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean art exhibition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make painting art pranks.
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work.
They finally went with mine.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said.
"No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover three holes in our wall."
My friend Todd, who is a midget was asked to be a judge at a local art show...
While going over the entries with the other judges, they came across a particularly terrible painting.
"Oh my god, this is amazing," said Todd, "I think we've found our winner."
"Are you being sarcastic?" one of the other judges asked.
Todd replied, "No, I'm just a little art official."
The art of joke writing
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.'
I had no Monet
To buy Degas
To make the Van Gogh.
I had De Gaulle to post this because I figured I had nothing Toulouse .
They say that life imitates art.
Chernobyl is a great example of this, as most of the kids there look like Picasso paintings.
Prison ain't so bad
A newly arrived prisoner is sitting in his cell when his cellmate, a lifer who has been inside for 20 years, walks in and sees that the young guy is distressed.
Lifer: Don't worry kid, prison ain't so bad. Do you like to work with your hands?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: Well,on Monday we get to work in the Arts and Crafts building. You can paint,do woodworking, pottery whatever.
NewMeat: O.k. that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Gourmet food?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: On Tuesdays a Chef comes in affixes anything you want to eat.
NewMeat: Sounds good
Lifer:Do you like movies?
NewMeat: Yeah
Lifer:Wednesdays we get to watch the latest films that are released to theatres.
NewMeat:Allright that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Music?
NewMeat: Absolutely!
Lifer: Thursdays we get a concert from big name bands like U2 and Foo Fighters.
NewMeat: Wow!! that is cool!!
Lifer: Are you gay?
NewMeat: Uh, no I'm not gay
Lifer: Oh....... well you're not gonna like Friday's at all.
Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?
He wanted more Monet in his wallet.
What's the difference between everything you need to make a painting, and the telling of a philosophy joke?
One's art supplies, and the other's when Sartre applies.
My friend Todd is a midget and was asked to judge paintings at an art show...
While reviewing the entries, they came across a particularly terrible painting.
"Oh my god, this is amazing," said Todd, "I think we've found our winner."
"Are you for real?" one of the other judges asked.
"No, I'm just a little art official."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
j**... is that you?
said Tom.
j**... - "Oh my god, Tom! I haven't seen you since college!"
Tom - "Yea it's been a while, how are things?"
j**... - "Not bad, I think I've done pretty well for myself. I ended up finishing that Bachelor's of Fine Arts and spend my time painting. I love it, wouldn't give it up for the world! How bout you? You end up finishing your degree?"
Tom - "Yep, Software Engineering. I make a pretty comfortable living and it's rewarding work. I can't believe it, it's been so long. It was great catching up with you."
j**... - "It was, it was. Just one last question."
Tom - "Shoot."
j**... - "Would you like fries or onion rings with your burger?"
Tom - "Fries."
I went for a job interview in a Art Gallery today, but the interviewers seemed to hate everything about me.
I didn't really paint a good picture of myself.
For our art homework we had to do a painting and my teacher asked me where mine was.
I said, "My dog ate it."
"But you don't have a dog..." said the girl next to me.
"You're right," I replied, "not any more."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into an art museum...
...saunters past a guard and rips a painting off the wall with his bare hands. The guards attempt to stop him as he runs out of the museum, but he is too quick and acrobatic and evades all of their efforts. Just out the museum doors, he hops into the back of a white van that begins speeding away with impressive acceleration; he holds the painting tauntingly out of the back of the van to mock the guards who tried to stop him, standing aghast on the museum steps. A passerby comments to his friend, "wow, look at that van go!"
"No, you idiot," his friend says, "that's a Rembrandt."
Marshall taught his students poetry, painting and scultping...
He called the course Mixed Marshall Arts.
A man bring his art to an art dealer tying to sell it
A man bring his art to an art dealer tying to sell it
The dealer offers him a 20 for it.
The artist objects loudly: "But the canvas cost me more than that!"
"Sure, but it wasn't painted on then."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy tries to sell his first painting ever...
So he goes to an art dealer to show it to him.
"What is it titled?" - the dealer asks.
"Me at the bar, drinking."
"But all I see is two n**... bodies. Who are they?"
"My neighbor and my wife, f\*cking"
"And where are you?"
"At the bar, drinking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm planning on opening an art boutique.
I'll sell paintings of jesus smoking w**....
It'll be a high prophet enterprise.
You tell your friend that you once viewed an art gallery with 100's of paintings, in a mere second
Friend: "You're lying"
You: "Haha why?"
Friend: "The human eye can only see 60 frames per second"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the classical art museum acquisitions director say to the arts benefactor and collector of early Renaissance paintings?
S3ND NUD3S
At an art exhibition a critic approaches the artist
(Critic) Would you like my opinion on this painting? It is worthless.
(Artist) I know. But please share it anyway.
An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.
A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.
"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"
"Sure," replied the artist.
"Frankly, it's completely worthless."
"I know, but tell it to me anyway."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf h**... never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
A woman goes into an art gallery and sees two still-life pictures. Both are of a table laid for lunch with a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls and a plate of sliced ham. However, one picture is selling for $75 and the other for $100.
Curious, she goes to the gallery owner and asks him what the difference is between the two pictures. The owner points at the $100 painting and says, You get more ham with that one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....
visits a modern art exhibition. "What the h**... is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."
"Ah-h… And what is this black triangle with red strips?" "This painting shows our heroic industrial workers in a factory." "And what is this dwarf with donkey ears?"
"Mr. president, this is not a painting, this is a mirror."