paint Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious paint puns

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

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I painted my computer black so it would run faster.

Now it doesn't work.

Then I painted my computer white so it would work.

Now the whole system is corrupt.

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Who is this Rorschach guy???

And why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

-Rob DenBleyker

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Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster...

Now it just doesn't work.

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So the painters finish painting my home...

and they hand me the bill. I notice that by the paint it says $0. I say, "you guys did such a good job, why aren't you charging me for the paint?" The head painter looks at me and says, "don't worry about the paint, it's on the house."

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Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

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Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct,

The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"

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People today are so politically correct. You can't even say black paint,

You have to say "Leeroy, please paint my fence."

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I hate how politically correct the world is today

Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"

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What's the difference between a hooker, your girlfriend, and your wife?

When you're having sex a hooker says "are you done yet?" Your girlfriend says "you're done already?" And your wife says "beige, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige."

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Did you know it's now politically incorrect to say 'black paint'?

Now you have to say "Jerome can you please paint the fence".

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So I was standing behind this girl

I was standing behind this girl at a school dance while we were waiting to get some juice. She was really pretty, so I thought I'd break the ice with a joke.

I tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey, what's blue and smells like red paint?"

She smiled and asked, "what?"

As I was about to open my mouth, I accidentally tripped and knocked over everyone in front of me. I never got to finish the joke, but that's how I totally screwed up the punch line.

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Apparently, even saying "black paint" is considered racist...

You're supposed to say, "Leeroy, would you please paint the fence."

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Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Shows you it works then.

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys picking cherries.

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Everyone is so politically correct these days.. you can't even say "Black Paint"...

You have to say "Tyrone, paint the god damn wall!"

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I painted my computer black last night

Now it runs much faster

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Everything's so politically correct nowadays that you can't even say "black paint."

Instead you have to say "Jamaal please paint my fence."

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A guy meets a hooker in a bar

And buys her a drink. She says to him "For $300, I'll do anything you want as long as you can ask for it in 3 words." So he thinks about it for a minute, reaches into his wallet, pulls out three Benjamins, slaps them on the bar and says "Paint. My. House".

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With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can't even say Black Paint!

You have to say, Leroy, please paint my fence!

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What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue Paint.

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What did the black man tell the yellow man?

"Who the hell dropped paint on us?"

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I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

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Everything's racist these days.

You can't even say "black paint" anymore.

You have to say "Tyrone, paint that wall".

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The world is so politically correct these days.

You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"

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I hate all the political correctness these days, I can't even say "black paint" anymore.

Now I have to say "Tyrone please paint the fence."

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Did you hear about the new paint called "blonde" paint?

It's not very bright but it spreads easily.

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Now a days everything has to be so politically correct...

you cannot even say "black paint". Instead you have to say "Jamal, will you please paint the fence?"

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I painted my PC black to make it run faster

Now it doesn't work

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The world is becoming too politically correct

You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".

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A Painter and a Gallery Owner

Painter: How are my paintings selling?

Gallery Owner: Well, there is some good news and some bad news. A man came in the other day and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he bought everything you had in the gallery.

Painter: Wow! That's terrific! What's the bad news?

Gallery Owner: He was your doctor

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Political Correctness has gone mad...

You can't even say "Black paint" anymore, you have to say "Jamal would you please kindly help me paint my fence."

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When is paint free?

When it's on the house.

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How do you hide an Elephant in the jungle?

Paint his balls red and hide him in the top of a cherry tree.

Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries.

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Two nuns are remodeling a new complex for the blind.

They are painting and get really hot and decide to take off their habits. A little bit later due to the heat they decide to just get completely naked and paint. Later that afternoon there is a knock on the door, in a panic the nuns ask "who is it?" Man replies "blind guy". They breath a sigh of relief and let him in. He walks in and says " hey nice tits where do you want the blinds?"

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I hate how you cant even say black paint anymore

Now I have to say "Leroy can you please paint the fence?"

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What are the most funny Paint jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Paint? Well, here are the best Paint dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Paint pick up lines to share with friends.

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