page Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious page stories

What are the best Page puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Page? Well here is a complete list of Page to have fun with:

I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast.

Since she can't even beat an egg

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I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.

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The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

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"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.

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Prison may be just one word

But to others, it's a whole sentence


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I'll like to brag that after 12 Years of marriage, I still have sex with my wife almost every day!

Almost on Monday

Almost on Tuesday

Almost on Wednesday

Almost on Thursday

Almost on Friday

Almost on Saturday

Almost on Sunday.!

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So I was about to roll a joint with a page from the Qur'an...

But I decided that I didn't really feel like getting stoned.

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I typed "Missing medieval servant" into Google...

But it just came up with "Page not found".

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Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up?

They were just never on the same page...

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So a Higgs Boson particle goes into a catholic church

And it gets stopped at the door by the bishop.

The bishop says, "Sir, I can't allow you in here."

"What? Why?" the particle responds.

"You call yourself the 'God particle.' That's blasphemy against our Lord."

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. Before I go, though, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure," the bishop responds. "Might as well."

"So," the Higgs Boson begins, "if you don't allow me in here, how do you have mass?"

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A child falls into a lion pit at the zoo...

The crowd is shocked, but a man jumps into the pit, punches the lion, and returns the child to safety. Another man runs up to the hero and says "I'm a reporter for the New York Times, and what you did is incredible! This deserves to be on the front page tomorrow, just tell me what your occupation is and your political affiliation is."

The hero replied "I'm a marine, and I'm a Republican." The next day, the front page of the New York Times reads

"REPUBLICAN MARINE PUNCHES AFRICAN IMMIGRANT, STEALS LUNCH"

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I just searched google for 'Lost Medieval Servant Boy'

"Page Not Found"

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Facebook

So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...

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Smart Ass Out Of The Box Answers By Students Who Failed

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle



Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

* at the bottom of the page



Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

* liquid



Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

* marriage



Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

* exams



Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

* Lunch & dinner



Q7. What looks like half an apple?

* The other half



Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

* it will simply become wet



Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??

* No problem, he sleeps at night.



Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..



Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?

* Very large hands



Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

* No time at all, the wall is already built.



Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

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A panda walks into a cΓ‘fe.

He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and unloads it into the ceiling.

Why? Asks the confused waiter, as the panda starts leaving. He tosses a wildlife manual over his shoulder.

I'm a panda, he says at the door, look it up.

The waiter flips to the page about pandas, and it says, Panda. Large black and white bear-like animal native to China. Eats, Shoots, and leaves





Credits: Eats, Shoots, and Leaves

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Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs.


Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.

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Did you know that if you were to print out every single page on the internet, and stack them all, one on top of the other...

... environmentalists would go fucking nuts.

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Saw this penis prank joke at the front page and reminded me of little johnny...

who wrote on the black board at classroom: "Johnny has an enormous penis".

After seeing it, the teacher erased it and said: Johnny, stay after class! I need to talk to you.

The following day, on the blackboard: "Advertisement is the soul of every business".

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Where do Grammar Nazis get put on trial?

You're*-emburg




^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry...



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What spoils quicker than unrefridgerated meat?

The Walking Dead's facebook page.

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Amish Hooker

What's an Amish Hooker do?

Ten Mennonite!

(Mennonite link on the front page made me think of this one.)

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Having too much sex can cause memory loss

I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm

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Me and my dad read a book to understand each other better.

but we were never on the same page

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Whats the perfect place to hide a body on the internet?

The second page of a youtube search.

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DAE hate poor grammar on they're front page?

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Where is the best place to hide something?

On the second page of Google search results.

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You've Been Programming Too Long When...

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.

When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"

When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.

When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.

When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.

When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

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Every time I click "Remember Me" on a login page, I get a little sad thinking about my fleeting existence...

...But some cookies would brighten my day!

Disclaimer: Made this joke up just now.

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Where is the best place to hide something?

The second page of search results of Google

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Best place to hide stuff?

Page two in Google search results!

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Putin and Obama are put in ice for 10 years...

Putin and Obama are put in ice for 10 years. When they wake up, they are given to morning newspaper. Suddenly Putin starts laughing like hell. Obama asks that what is so funny. Putin shows the front page which reads "Communism in USA". Then Obama opens the paper and starts laughing even more. Putin asks that what can be more funny than communism in USA. Obama shows the front page: "Restless activities on Europe - China border.

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How do you know this is OC?

Its not on the front page

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In honor of the jam/jelly TIL on front page... What's the difference between jam and jelly? [NSFW]

I can't jelly my cock down your throat.

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Where's Spiderman's home page?

On the world wide web

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So a man gets back from a holiday.

and he's showing his family a photo album. He gets to one picture and says, look this is a little monkey called a macaque, and it's diet consists mostly of crabs. His family is somewhat impressed and enjoy the cute picture.
The man then says "Well if you liked that, you'll love these!" turns the page and the family let out cries of disgust and horror. surprised, the man says "What? it's just another picture of a crab eating macaque."

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Where is the best place to hide a body?

Buried in the third page of google search results.

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The CEO of Google was late to a press conference scheduled for 4:00...

4:04 Page not found.

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I see fewer cats on my front page.

I've been told that Curiosity killed them.

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A russian spy stole the last page of the code for US missile launch software.

Here's the code:

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So I'm sitting in the exam room at my doctor's office...

I'm waiting and waiting. For nearly 20 minutes I wait before he comes in. When he comes in he starts going through my chart. He is flipping through each page, stopping to look at me after each page. He turns to me and says "Dave, you're going to have to stop masturbating." I ask him "why is that, Doc?"

He says "Because I'm trying to give you an exam."

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What's the best way to see yesterday's front page ?

9GAG

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What's on the 3rd and 4th page of a Ford's manual?

Bus and train schedules

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How do you keep a blonde busy?

Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a page and hand it to her.

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What's in a domestic book?

Home page.

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What are some joke that only make sense if they are typed out?

Inspired by the 6.9 joke on the front page. What jokes only really work when you read them?

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This dude enters the subway with his suitcase...

As soon as he tightly sits in the middle of the crowded subway, he opens his suitcase very carefully and pulls out a magazine. He starts turning the pages and as soon as he gets to a certain page, he unzips his pants, pulls his dick out and spits in his hand. He starts to furiously masturbate while making loud squishy noises for about a minute until he finally orgasms. His legs were quivering and he was wrapping his dick with the magazine while tilting his head upwards and screaming a loud "OH GOD HNNNGG!". After finishing, he gently wipes with the magazine and proceeds to put it away inside the suitcase.

He pulls out a lighter and a smoke from his jacket and right before lighting it up he faces the people in front and says: "Do you mind if i smoke?"

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A couple of bar jokes.

Haven't seen these two anywhere on this page so thought I'd share them. Feel free to comment with any of your own bar jokes :)

A preist, a nun and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "WTF is this, a joke!!"

Three rabbis walk into a bar...they buy it.

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With all the sharks on the front page, you'd think it is shark week.

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I Googled- "Missing medieval servant" ....

and it came up with "Page not found".

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340 page Joke Book for Just $19.97 & get 20 another jokes book free

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best page jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty page gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these page jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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