Since she can't even beat an egg
Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.
But to others, it's a whole sentence
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.
He disappeared without a tres.
His ears.
Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!
Just like one of his characters.
(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)
there isn't a home page
There isn't a home page
She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."
I'm willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Pornhub.
You get "This page cannot be found".
But I decided that I didn't really feel like getting stoned.
It has three Reichs so far
It came back: "Page Not Found"
She really wanted a daughter
(taken from a front page meme)
so far its got three reichs
I noticed it when I saw how many reposts make it to the front page.
It has 3 reichs
The interviewer, after reading my CV, said:
"I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"
"Page two is 19.99$"
The search returns "Page not found".
Page 2 of Google search.
So far it's gotten three Reichs on Facebook
I replied, "I don't even see them on the menu. What page are you on?"
They were just never on the same page...
It doesn't have a home page
And it gets stopped at the door by the bishop.
The bishop says, "Sir, I can't allow you in here."
"What? Why?" the particle responds.
"You call yourself the 'God particle.' That's blasphemy against our Lord."
"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. Before I go, though, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah sure," the bishop responds. "Might as well."
"So," the Higgs Boson begins, "if you don't allow me in here, how do you have mass?"
But when I opened it every single page was blank.
I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was.
A weebsite.
It was Wei Tu Long.
no pun in ten did...
So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...
Page loading...
I'm surprised they haven't been shot yet
On the second page of a Google result.
He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and unloads it into the ceiling.
Why? Asks the confused waiter, as the panda starts leaving. He tosses a wildlife manual over his shoulder.
I'm a panda, he says at the door, look it up.
The waiter flips to the page about pandas, and it says, Panda. Large black and white bear-like animal native to China. Eats, Shoots, and leaves
Credits: Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.
...it was mine.
There are too many cheetahs.
Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.
...please enter your 17 digit password.
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results -back?
Without even needing to reload the page.
If this 'A' gets to the front page, I'll delete this text and it'll make people go crazy wondering how an A got to the front page.
Post mysterious comments like So true! And don't talk about how it's an inside joke.
The crowd is shocked, but a man jumps into the pit, punches the lion, and returns the child to safety. Another man runs up to the hero and says "I'm a reporter for the New York Times, and what you did is incredible! This deserves to be on the front page tomorrow, just tell me what your occupation is and your political affiliation is."
The hero replied "I'm a marine, and I'm a Republican." The next day, the front page of the New York Times reads
"REPUBLICAN MARINE PUNCHES AFRICAN IMMIGRANT, STEALS LUNCH"
He is high on my list of priorities.
He loved to read so much that he read all of the books in the library in his town. So one day he went to a bookstore and asked if they had a book that he haven't read yet. An old Jew that worked there said yes and handed the boy a strange, covered in dust book titled "DEATH". He said to the boy:
"Here is the book that you've probably never heard of. I can sell it to you for $10 if you promise me to never, ever open it at the last page."
The boy agreed and bought the book. He read it and liked it very much, but, as promised, he didn't open it at the last page. One day he could bear it no longer and checked the last page. "Suggested Retail Price: $5".
The koala tries to sneak out of the motel room before the prostitute wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's look in a dictionary for the definition of prostitute". The two proceed to look up the definition to find that it is 'someone who has sex for money'. The Koala then flips a few pages back to the definition of koala, then walks out of the room. Confused, the protitute looks down at the page. The dictionary says 'Koala: An animal who eats bushes and leaves'
The five people are:
-Trump
-Morgan Freeman
-Larry Page
-The Pope
-A schoolboy
There are only 4 parachutes.
Morgan freeman says that he is an entertainer of millions, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.
Larry Page says that he founded Google, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.
Trump says that he is the smartest man in America, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.
There are only two people left, and one parachute. The Pope says "I have lived a long and happy life, you can take the parachute" to the schoolboy.
The schoolboy replies "no, it's OK, we can both go, the smartest man in America took my backpack!"
...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.
but I kept getting Page Not Found
Not like this.
It says "page not found"
Everybody's practicing their parts, except for the bass players - they barely have any notes at all, just at the very beginning and the very end. So they hatch a plan: during the performance, they'll all sneak out and go to the pub for some brews. The lead bassist ties a string to the last page of the conductor's score, to alert them so they can get back in time.
Performance night rolls around, and the curtains roll up to a magnificent opening segment. The bassists duck behind the percussion and run to the nearest bar. They order a couple of drinks and joke to themselves about how ridiculous they look in tailed, double-breasted tuxedos when suddenly they are approached by a man dressed even more formally, wearing a crown and long gown. He introduces himself as the Count of Bavaria, a true regal fellow. Before they know it everybody is chatting it up and the Count orders a *huge* plate of nachos. This is a massive plate - big enough for three men - but the Count, he must be starving because he eats every last bite. The bassists are enjoying their drinks and starting to get a bit drunk, when they notice they've got to rush back... Meanwhile, back at the performance, the conductor has turned the last page. He sees the string, and it dawns on him: it's the bottom of the ninth, the bassists are loaded and the count is full.
It comes back with "this page cannot be found"
You're*-emburg
^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry...
**
During Sermon at a Sunday service , the Pastor said: "If I had all the Beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river".
And the congregation cried, "Amen! "
"And if I had all the Wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river".
And the congregation cried: "Amen!"
"And if I had all the Whiskey and Rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river".
Again the congregation cried: "Amen!"...
The Pastor sat down.
The Junior Pastor then stood up and said: "For our closing Hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our Hymn books and sing, "We shall drink from the river".
The whole Congregation SCREAMED *HALLELUJAH!*
Student: Yes sir.
Prof: so, tell me, where is Kentucky?
Student: At page 35 prof.
The Walking Dead's facebook page.
It's good that we're both on the same page.
I'm on page 122, but no matter how much butter I use, it still just tastes like paper.
I'm sitting on this plane and the pilot comes on the PA system to tell the passengers that we are now flying at cruising altitude and all that nonsense but when he put the phone down he missed the hang up. All the passengers could still hear the pilot as he turns to to copilot and says, "You know I could really go for a a cup of coffee and a blow job right now." The flight attendant went running up the aisle to tell the pilot he didn't hang up and as she races by my seat the guy behind me shouts, "Hey, honey! Don't forget that cup of coffee!"
That I looked on the second page of Google to find the answer.
What's an Amish Hooker do?
Ten Mennonite!
(Mennonite link on the front page made me think of this one.)
I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm
Heck, they even made it to the front page today!
no pun in ten did.
It's got 3 Reichs on Facebook already
A knight and his page stop for the evening at an inn, a squire close behind. The knight calls for the women to come and service his men, as they've been riding long and hard all day and wish to continue in the same manner. Four girls enter the room and pair up with the men in turn, but the last two are forced to double up. As morning came, the girls found a few new problems with themselves.
"That knight had chlamydia!", shouted one.
"Well the squire had crabs!", shouted another.
The last two girls checked themselves in a hurry, but found no new afflictions.
"Wow," one said, turning to the other. "I'm glad we were on the same page."
I didn't realise she meant page 3.
"KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
(based on Kauffman, G. and Blakeley M. eds. 1980. Pulling Our Own Strings. Page 51)
- Hey, how's your book writing going?
- Really well, I'm up to page 69.
- Wow, what're you writing?
- Page numbers
Page two of Google
but we were never on the same page
or page 1 of Bing.
At the bottom of the page
Every time Joe wrote something made up, the pen would leave ink on the page.
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.
On the second page of a google search.
The students search feverishly, to no avail
... that everyone reading this is on the same page.
After all, I've definitely seen it there before.
I've replied with a link to the Wikipedia page about Christopher Columbus.
Sushi because they serve it raw, raw, raw\-raw\-raw!
(sorry I just saw the guy get to the front page with his stoned asparagus joke, so I wanted to try mine).
Because they are not on the same page.
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