Packing Jokes
98 packing jokes and hilarious packing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about packing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these hilarious packing jokes that are sure to make you smile! From packing boxes to best Discord packing, these jokes will bring some fun and laughter to your packing and moving experience. Get your laughter ready and share some of these with your friends!
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Funniest Packing Short Jokes
Short packing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The packing humour may include short packed jokes also.
- Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes. - Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.
- My boyfriend is upset that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
- My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.
- Everyone told me smoking kills, I had no idea how fast. My dad went to get his first pack of cigarettes ever and I never saw him again.
- My wife is furious at me because I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right left away.
- My wife packed my bags and told me to leave . . . As I was headed out the door, she said "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." I said, "so now you want me to stay?"
- My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right...
- "Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted. "What?! Really?!", I said.
"Yep! Go pack your things and get ready", my dad said. "They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes." - My wife kicked me out. She says it's because I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
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Packing One Liners
Which packing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with packing? I can suggest the ones about shipment and packed like.
- The wife caught me cross-dressing So I packed her things and left
- What do you get when you shoot four bullets into a six pack? A Tupac...
- Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack? Because of all his cross training
- RIP to my good friend Brian... ...eaten by a pack of dyslexic zombie :(
- My girlfriend dumped me because I'm unorganised. So she packed my suitcase and I left.
- My GF said she hates my sense of direction. So I packed my stuff and right.
- My dad said I have no sense of direction in life. So I packed my stuff and right
- I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato
- What do you call a yeti with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- If you're ever chased by a pack of taxidermists DO NOT play dead.
- Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart and stopped littering
- What do you call the pack of boars who killed members of Isis? Squeal Team 6
- For my next trick I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
- All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards. It was difficult to deal with.
- What's a 7 course meal for an Irishman? A six-pack and a potato.
Suitcase Packing Jokes
Here is a list of funny suitcase packing jokes and even better suitcase packing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Suzy, I won the lottery! 4 million dollars! Pack your suitcase!" \-"Do I need to pack winter or summer clothes?"
"I don't care. Just leave." - The electron asked the photon, Have you packed a suitcase? The photon said, No, I'm travelling light.
- When I get home from work, I like to pack myself into really small suitcases. I can hardly contain myself.
- I made a suitcase out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's jam packed.
- On my first day working for TSA we searched a neat, sandwich shaped suitcase. It was jam packed.
- Why do actuaries always pack a bomb in their suitcase when they fly? Because the odds of two bombs being on the same plane are astronomical.
- My wife accused me that I would cross dress every now and than... I told her:"That's an outrageous thing to say to me!"
So I packed all of her stuff in my suitcase and left her. - You Know What I Love Doing More Than Anything? Trying to pack myself into a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
- My wife got mad at me because I said she was lazy. She says she so upset she's going to leave me, just as soon as I pack her suitcase.
- I took two pieces of bread as my suitcase on a trip. It was jam packed!
Packing Boxes Jokes
Here is a list of funny packing boxes jokes and even better packing boxes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars. Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.
- My daughter packed a light bulb in her lunch box this morning. I asked her, "why did you put that in there?"
She replied, "I want a light snack." - Some girls are in to a six pack... I'm just a guy that's looking for a box full of wine.
- Why can't mimes work in packing and shipping? Because they just can't think outside the box !
- When I move, I don't pack my belongings. Because I live my life outside of the box.
- Need to get rid of some of your junk? Pack it up in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch.
- How many rows of frogs can you pack into a box? Three deep.
- What do you get after you finish a 12 pack of Shiner Bocks? A Shiner Box
- What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box? Body centered cubic
Packing And Moving Jokes
Here is a list of funny packing and moving jokes and even better packing and moving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated
- Did you know Rocky Mountain wood ticks hunt in packs? They from a queue and move back and forth before they swoop in to bite you. They call this behaviour Lyme dancing.
- Did you hear about the band "the moving crew"? The house was packed
- A man walks into a bar. A man walks into a bar with a ski mask, and a suitcase that happens to be on fire. He says "NOBODY MOVE! I'M PACKING HEAT HERE!"
- What is a wolf's favourite dance move? The Shuffle
... pack of wolves. - What do you call a Middle Eastern moving company? Pack-it-stan
- Why did the legumes start a moving company? Because they were packing peanuts!..f**... you guys, I'm drunk
- Packing Do g**... really have a lot of s**t to pack before moving?
Charming Humor Packing Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about packing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shipping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make packing pranks.
So God's getting ready to go on vaction...
And he's packing his bag and an angel comes up and asks, "So, where are you going to go for your vacation?" And God says, "Huh, not Earth again, last time I went there I got this Jewish girl pregnant and they haven't stopped talking about it since!'
The mother of the bride and her daughter were packing for her honeymoon night.
The daughter asked her mother to pack her black nightgown. The mother looked everywhere but couldn't find it. Time was running short so she grabbed her daughter's pink negligee from the laundry hamper and stuffed it into the suitcase.
After the wedding, the newlyweds went to their hotel room. The groom was very shy so he asked his bride to change in one corner of the room and promise not to peek as he changed in another. Agreeing, the bride went to her corner, opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in. "Oh my God," she yelled, "it's short, pink and wrinkled!"
"Honey, you promised not to look!" said the groom.
A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"
Job at a Cadbury's factory ..
>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??
Live Commentary on l**...
A couple purchased a talking parrot on their honeymoon, much to the groom's annoyance, since the bird did a running commentary on their l**.... The groom finally threw a towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if it didn't quit.
The next morning, packing to return home, the newlyweds couldn't close a large suitcase.
"Honey," the groom said, "you get on top and I'll try."
That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try."
Still no success. Then the man said, "Let's both get on top and try."
At that point, the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo, this I've got to see!"
A lesbian couple and gay couple are racing for a cash prize. Who wins?
The l**..., 'cause the g**... are still packing and the l**... are lickity split.
Christ is on the cross
He's calling out to Peter. 'Peter! Peter!' he shouts. Peter hears him and tries to get closer, but a Roman guard cuts off his arm and sends him packing. Christ calls out again. 'Peter! Peter!' he shouts. Again Peter tries to get closer but is again stopped by the Roman guard, who cuts off his other arm. Christ calls out again. 'Peter! Peter!' Peter tries once more to get to the foot of the cross. This time the Roman guard swipes at his left leg and chops that off too. 'Peter! Peter!' calls Christ. Peter makes one last desperate effort. He hops up to the guard, evades his hacking sword and knocks him out with a head-but. He then hops to the top of the hill and stands panting at the bottom of the cross. 'Yes, Lord!' shouts Peter. 'I am here!'. Christ says,'Peter, I can see your house from here.'
A man comes home from work to see his wife packing her things.....
"What are you doing?", the man asks.
"I'm leaving you", the woman replies. "I just found out that I can make fifty dollars in Las Vegas for what I've been doing for you for free".
The man stands in silence for a moment and then leaves the room.
The wife, puzzled, follows him to the other room to find him packing his things.
"What are you doing?", the wife asks.
The man answers, "I'm coming with you. I gotta see how you're going to live off fifty dollars a month".
Going to Vegas
A man comes home from work to find his wife packing her things. "What are you doing?" he asks.
His wife replies, "I'm leaving you and moving to Las Vegas. I hear that men will pay me $500 to do to them what I do to you for free."
The man says nothing, walks over to the closet, grabs his suitcase and begins packing his things.
"What do you think you're doing?" his wife asks.
The man replies, "I'm going to Vegas. I want to see how you're going to live off of $500 a year."
I ordered packing foam online.
It came wrapped in fine china.
Marriage, the real story
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
A man comes home to find his wife packing...
He says "Hunny, what are you doing"
"I'm leaving you and going to Vegas!"
"Why?"
"I heard you can make $400 a b**... out there!"
The husband starts packing and his wife asks, "What are you doing?"
"I'm coming with you! I want to see how you live on $800 a year!"
What happened when the detective finished packing for his holiday?
The case was closed.
What is the quietest place on Earth?
The complaint department at a parachute packing company.
To much precaution...
Two security guards obtained me at the airport after they opened my luggage and found some IcyHot patches, they said: I was packing heat.
I'm a Polish student in the UK
Today the cashier in ASDA asked me if I needed help packing my bags. The Brexit is worse than I thought...
Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum;
I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing...
What's the Turkish version of court packing?
Turkey stuffing
Guy wins lottery, comes home
"Honey, I won the lottery, I'm a millionaire, come on, start packing!"
"That's awesome dear, where are we going?"
"What do you mean *we?*"
Wife asks why I'm packing condoms
Wife asks: "Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?" I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.
Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery?
Wife: I'd take half and leave.
Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going.
"To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free."
The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked.
"I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
What does an American comedian preparing for a holiday and Lord Of The Rings have in common?
Bill Burr packing.
Did you hear about the employee who was hired by a rival Egg packing factory?
You could say he was poached
Why can't you remember the color of packing peanuts from your birthday gifts?
You can't remember things that are always in the present.
Never mess with the HVAC man in winter
Because he'll probably be packing heat
EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.
After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's c**... induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour e**... stuffed full on satanic o**... fest.
I love corporations.
Without them, how would five people be able to get paid over the decision to buy a pack of pencils and some packing tape?
What's the worst part of working at a meat packing plant?
It's a total sausage fest.
Iron was talking to his good friend Aluminum...
About his girlfriend Oxide. Aluminum told Iron that he should just dump her. "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life", he said. So Iron took his advice and sent Oxide packing, but Aluminum swooped in immediately after and started seeing Oxide himself.
Needless to say, things got a little heated and Iron had a total meltdown.
I was packing up for vacation
When my wife yelled from down stairs "YOU BETTER NOT BE TAKING EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK". I yelled back "thanks for reminding me i will go get the wrench"
My dad just told me I was adopted
I'm packing my stuff right now, he told me they would be here in 2 hours.
I was packing my luggage with German sausage, when my wife told me, "Don't overfill it. Last time it exploded in the airport and you caused a scene".
"Dont be silly", I said, "you're always thinking of the wurst case scenario".
Two men fell madly in love with the same woman
They went to the woman and demanded she choose between them.
The woman told the two men that they were young and inexperienced, they should both go all the way around the world at least once before she could decide.
The first man immediately went home, began packing, and booked a the first flight out of the country.
The second man went home, but returned to the woman the next day and walked a circle around her. He looked into her eyes and told her that she was the whole world to him.
Who do you think she chose?
Answer: >!The rich one!<
What's a gay guy's favourite job
Packing fudge
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I'm off to New York City. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
"Where are you going?" she asks
"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800 a year"
/u/username hates the hotel he is staying in and starts packing his stuff.
Username checks out.
A man walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"I'm off to New York," she replies. "I hear prostitutes get paid $400 doing what I do to you for free."
The husband begins packing his bags.
"What are you doing?" asked the wife.
"I'm coming with you," he said. "I wanna see how you live off $800 a year."
A German was packing his luggage for holiday when his wife interrupts him...
"I hope you're not going to bring sausages again", she said, "They exploded everywhere last time and caused a frightful scene!"
"It'll be fine", He said, "Stop worrying about the wurst case scenario".
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
After 10 Years man come to home and find his wife
A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband. "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!" The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing his bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $2,000 a year!"
A guy goes into a grocery store.
He sees a pile of potatoes, and asks the store keeper:
"What are those?"
"Those are potatoes"
"Can I have a kilo of potatoes individually wrapped?"
The store keeper shakes his head and start wrapping potatoes.
"What are those?"
"Those are plums..."
"Can I have a kilogram of plums all individually wrapped?"
The store keeper cusses under his breath and starts packing plums.
"... and what are those?!
"Those are poppy seeds and they are NOT for sale!"
Father looks hard at his teenage son and says, James, you've been adopted.
James jumps up, Adopted! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents! Father laughs, No no, James, we are your biological parents. But you need to get packing, your adoptive ones will be here in an hour.
I don't understand women...
One word out of place, just ONE word, and she's packing her b**... bags.
She asked me why I take my wedding ring off before s**.... I just shrugged and said "Habit".
Go to your mother
Wife is busy packing clothes.
Hubby: Where are you going?
Wife: To my mother.
Hubby also starts packing clothes.
Wife: And where do you think you are going?
Hubby: I'm also going to my mother.
Wife: What about the kids?
Hubby: Since you are going to your mother and I'm also going to my mother, the kids should also go to their mother.
Light bulb
p**... and John are working on a building site. p**... says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
p**... climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, p**... go home, you've gone mad!
As p**... packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory.
The hours are terrible, but apparently the celery is good.
A married couple is fighting
A married couple is fighting when the wife says, I don't want you in this house anymore, pack your s**... and get out. Husband starts packing as the wife is still nagging him. The husband opens the door to leave and just as he is walking out the wife says, I hope you die a slow and painful death you son of a b**... . The husband stops and says, I don't understand, do you want me to stay
Daddy's gonna eat your fingers.
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this", and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
Lottery winner
Man comes home from work yelling honey honey I just won the lottery pack your bags.
Wife yells down what am I packing for the beach, the mountains, a cruise.
He yells back up. I don't care just get the h**... out
I was sacked from a packing factory.
I had a big roll of bubble wrap and I said to the foreman "Boss, what shall I do with this?" He said "Just pop it over there in the corner". Took me all b**... day.
p**... & Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... says to Murphy, I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts, I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: p**..., go home. You've gone mad.
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
Where do you think you're going? asks the foreman.
Well, I can't work in the friggin dark! said Murphy.
