Packing And Moving Jokes
27 packing and moving jokes and hilarious packing and moving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about packing and moving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Packing And Moving Short Jokes
Short packing and moving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The packing and moving humour may include short moving day jokes also.
- Did you know Rocky Mountain wood ticks hunt in packs? They from a queue and move back and forth before they swoop in to bite you. They call this behaviour Lyme dancing.
- A man walks into a bar. A man walks into a bar with a ski mask, and a suitcase that happens to be on fire. He says "NOBODY MOVE! I'M PACKING HEAT HERE!"
- Why did the legumes start a moving company? Because they were packing peanuts!..f**... you guys, I'm drunk
Share These Packing And Moving Jokes With Friends
Packing And Moving One Liners
Which packing and moving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with packing and moving? I can suggest the ones about moving house and moving company.
- Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated
- When I move, I don't pack my belongings. Because I live my life outside of the box.
- Did you hear about the band "the moving crew"? The house was packed
- What is a wolf's favourite dance move? The Shuffle
... pack of wolves. - What do you call a Middle Eastern moving company? Pack-it-stan
- Packing Do g**... really have a lot of s**t to pack before moving?
Packing And Moving Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about packing and moving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean packaging jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make packing and moving pranks.
Marriage, the real story
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
Going to Vegas
A man comes home from work to find his wife packing her things. "What are you doing?" he asks.
His wife replies, "I'm leaving you and moving to Las Vegas. I hear that men will pay me $500 to do to them what I do to you for free."
The man says nothing, walks over to the closet, grabs his suitcase and begins packing his things.
"What do you think you're doing?" his wife asks.
The man replies, "I'm going to Vegas. I want to see how you're going to live off of $500 a year."
Moving the Hive
I'm a devoted beekeeper, so when my wife and I decided to move to a new house I carefully packed up my favorite hive and placed it in the car. My wife asked "are you really going to put a swarm of bees into our car with us ?" I thought she understood that I couldn't leave my best queen and hive behind.
But then I saw her face, now I'm a bee leaver.
A couple move to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino
He rushes into his house and yells to his wife,
"Pack up your things. I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot!"
The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The husband responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon."
So a man and a woman are having a fight
A Man and a woman are having a fight. Woman marches up to their room and starts to pack her bags. "Where are you going?" he asks.
"I'm moving to Vegas. i hear i can make $400 doing what i do for you for free" the Man starts to pack his bags too. "I'm coming with you. I've got to see how you're going to survive in Vegas on $800 a year.
Moving out
About a month ago, I turned 21 and my parents said that I should consider moving out. Although they didn't directly say that I should leave, I could tell that they wanted me to move. I agreed with them. My room was too small for me anyways, so I packed my clothes, my TV, and my laptop. I finalized my plan and left two days later. It's been about a month and my new place is okay, but there is only one problem. There is no heater, so I may have to move out of the basement and go back upstairs to my room.
So there's this blonde...
and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the farmer is sitting on the front porch and asks him if she can guess how many sheep there are if she can have one. The farmer agrees. The woman has a knack for counting and adds up all the sheep really quickly and says "72". The farmer says "whelp, that's right, go grab your sheep and leave." The woman picks up her choice and starts walking back to her car, but before she gets in the farmer shouts after her "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
A man is thinking about joining a gym.
He really just wants to work on his boxing skills. The gym rep gives him the grand tour. "Here are the raquetball courts which get quite busy" the rep says "and over there is the raquetball line". "That's nice" the man says "but I'm mostly interested in the boxing facilities".
The rep continues "Here are the treadmills which are all in use and there is the treadmill line". "Ok, ok" the man rushes "Can we get to the boxing stuff please?"
The rep moves along, "Here is the bench press area which is quite popular and you can see the line to use it. Over here is the basketball courts which are always packed and over there is the basketball line". Continuing, the rep describes "the s**... hot tub and pool which are in high demand and over there is the swimming line".
"OK OK!!" the man exclaims "I just want to punch the bags! Where is the line for that?"
"Oh, but that's no fun", the rep answers.
"Why not?" the man asks.
"There isn't any punch line."
A blonde decided to go ice-fishing
...so she packed up all her gear and went ice fishing. She cut a hole and put the fishing line down the hole. After 15 minutes, after feeling nothing, she wasn't sure there would be a fish, so she prayed to her God, asking for a fish to please come bite her line. A few minutes later, a loud booming voice said: "THERE'S NO FISH THERE!" So she packed up her stuff and she found another spot. Again, she prayed for a fish to biter her line, but to no avail. Again, she heard a loud, booming voice, "THERE'S NO FISH THERE!" Still feeling hopeful, the blonde moved her stuff and cut a third hole in the ice. This time, without even praying, the loud booming voice said, "GET OFF THE ICE, THE GAME IS ABOUT TO START!"
A knock at the door
Every day, Jim gets two six packs on the way home from work. When he gets home, he sits in his living room until they're gone. One day, just as he's getting to the end of the last beer, he hears a knock at the door. He goes to answer it, and sees a six foot tall grasshopper. Before he can say a word, the grasshopper punches him in the face as hard as he's ever been hit! Floored, he can't respond before the grasshopper leaves.
He decides he'd better be in better shape, so the next day he only gets one six pack. Just as he's finishing the last beer, he hears another knock at the door. He gets up to answer it, a bit more wary this time. Not that it does him any good. The six foot tall grasshopper is there again, and this time hits him *twice*, each one as hard as he's ever been hit! Again, the grasshopper leaves before he can do anything.
On the third day, he decides he'd better just skip his beer. He's sitting in his living room, stone cold sober, when he hears a knock at the door. He checks his peephole. It's the grasshopper. But he figures this time he hasn't been drinking and he can take him, so he opens the door. Before he can do anything, the grasshopper knocks him down and kicks him until he can't move. Again, the grasshopper leaves when it's done.
Obviously he's in bad shape after that, so he goes in to see his doctor. He describes what's been going on. The doctor nods knowingly, "Yeah, there's been a pretty n**... bug going around."
As soon as they had finished making love, Susie jumped up from the bed and started packing her suitcase
"What on earth are you doing?" asked her puzzled husband.
"In Las Vegas I could get two hundred dollars for what I just gave you for free," she pointed out, "so I'm moving to Las Vegas."
This was enough to provoke her husband to jump up and begin packing *his* bags.
"What are you up to?" asked Susie in surprise.
"I'm following you to Las Vegas," he replied. "I've *got* to see you live off six hundred dollars a year."
There once was a humble florist living in a small town...
He would sell his beautiful flowers to the townspeople every day. One day, some friars moved into the nearby, previously empty abbey. These friars, however, grew their own beautiful flowers to sell to pay for their expenses, and these flowers were grown in such abundance and sold so much that the florist was rapidly losing money.
A man in town noticed the poor florist's distress and offered him some help. "Hey, I know a guy named Hugh that can help you out here. See that big guy over there? That's him. By tomorrow he'll have dealt with these friars' intrusive business practices."
"Alright" said the florist, "I can't thank you enough." Though he had his doubts, he tried to trust the man.
The next morning as he went to his shop he noticed the friars had already packed up their things and were long gone. He found that man and asked, "How? How did you do it??"
"Simple" he stated, "Hugh, and *only* Hugh can prevent florist friars."