Packet Jokes
57 packet jokes and hilarious packet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about packet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These packet jokes will have you laughing all the way to the router! Learn how packet loss can be turned into humorous stories about sauce bags and labels with this collection of fun and creative jokes.
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Funniest Packet Short Jokes
Short packet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The packet humour may include short mailbox jokes also.
- The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
I'm so glad they dug it up just in time - I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
- A cowboy is buying condoms. "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please" he says.
"Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" asks the cashier.
"Nah, she's purty good-lookin ..." - I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were. I couldn't get the message across.
- Nerdiest joke I know. I'd tell you a joke about UDP packets, but I'm not sure you'd get it.
- Did you guys hear about the ramen noodles without flavor packets? You can't buy them anymore though, they ran out of stock.
- Why did the blonde starve to death? Her new phone came with a little packet in the box that said, "Do not eat."
- As the plumber left my house I saw something fall out of his back packet. I walked over and saw that it was a bag of drugs. But I didn't bend down to get it, because I didn't want plumber's crack.
- Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid?? She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet.
- A TCP packet walks into a bar... ... and says to the barmen: Hello, I'd like a beer. the barman replies: Hello, you'd like a beer? Yes, replies the packet, I'd like a beer.
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Packet One Liners
Which packet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with packet? I can suggest the ones about received and particle.
- I want to dress up as a UDP packet for Halloween but I don't know if anyone will get it.
- Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti. It was the impasta.
- Hey man will you hand me that tri-fold informational packet? Bro sure
- PSA: Theft of 50k cigarettes Police are on the look out for a single packet.
- On the front of the cheese packet it said 37% fat Therefore I am 95% cheese
- Why did Verizon's mailman get fired? He was losing packets.
- Throw a packet of sugar and say... excuse me miss you dropped your nametag.
- What does a nerd call a duplicate Christmas present? Packet replay
- what does an informational packet say when asked for a spot at the gym? Bro, sure.
- What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers? Russell.
- I hate it when you buy a packet of M&Ms And it's full of W's.
- Why don't I lose homework assignments? Because I protect my packets with SSL.
- Why don't statisticians like chewing gum from green packets? Because spearmints rank.
- How much work does it take to send a packet across the internet? 20 Watts
- I've invented a new flavour of crisps, if they're successful I'll make a packet.
Quirky and Hilarious Packet Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about packet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make packet pranks.
My rubbish dog joke.
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'
I read on my cigarette packet that "smoking causes baldness"...
Then I realised it said "blindness". Thank god! But now I'm not sure if it is the drinking or the blindness that is causing my misreading.
And my baldness.
A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...
he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't blondes make kool-aide?
because they can't figure out how to put two gallons of water in that tiny little packet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man and his wife are trying to spice up their marriage
So the husband comes home with a packet of flavoured condoms. He says to his wife;
"We'll play a game. I'll turn the light off, I'll put on the c**... and you try and guess the flavour".
His wife goes down on him and after a few moments she calls out, "Cheese and Onion" as the husband responds,
"I've not put it on yet"
A very drunk man walks into a bar
He yells:
two large beers and a packet of crisp please!
Lady: sir, this is a library.
Man, whispering: two large beers and a packet of crisps please!
My daughter asks for Frozen stuff for Christmas,
so i bought her frozen chips and a packet of peas
Beef jerky is already so salty...
I don't understand why they give you a salt packet in the bag.
I was on the Moon, running out of air
So I opened my packet of lays.
And yeah, the view from here is good. I can see Dave too. Who is the orange haired guy he is talking to?
A bear walks into a bar...
... goes up to the barman and says "I'd like a gin and tonic .............. and a packet of peanuts". The barman says "Sure, but why the big pause?". The bear holds up his hands and says, "These? Hey, I was born with them".
A TCP packet walks into a bar...
A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman "Hello, I'd like a beer."
The barman replies "Hello, you'd like a beer?"
"Yes," replies the TCP packet, "I'd like a beer."
I'd tell you my UDP packet joke, but I'm not sure you'd get it.
One of my regulars came into my store to buy some snacks
He handed me a packet of nuts, I scanned them and said "So I guess I'll cashew later?"
My cigarette packet
My cigarette packet has a warning printed on it: "Smoking seriously harms you and others around you."
I always try to laugh as I light up, just to protect myself.
My little sister hated that our mother was addicted to cigarettes so she took a fork and stabbed the packet repeatedly.
Mom was not pleased. Holy smokes!
^(Based on a true story)
A police officer is doing his patrol when he sees two men arguing.
He goes to approach, when suddenly it gets physical. The first man throws a packet of sodium chloride at the second, and the second responds by throwing a bunch of 9 volts at the first.
The officer arrests them for a salt and battery.
A lot of people think that IPhone X price is too much, and no one will buy it.
But over the last week people paid over $800 for a packet of sauce, so anything must be possible.
Just got the 'Oasis' meal deal. A packet of crisps, a bottle of coke and any item from the bakery...
...I got a roll with it.
England will make groundbreaking headlines in the World Cup tomorrow.
Being the first team to lose against a packet of cigars.
On a packet of chicken it said "Gas Mark 9".
On another packet it said "Diarrhea Steven 12".
When my lady is on her period...
I love to squeeze her because she's my little ketchup packet
Cheaper Pub in the World
Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint;
‟That will be $0.05 please sir .
‟Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too
‟Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir .
‟Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps .
‟0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together .
‟This is astonishing, can I speak to the owner of this place, I would like to thank him .
‟Oh, not just now, he is busy, he is upstairs with my wife .
‟...What is he doing upstairs with your wife?
‟Same thing I'm doing down here with his business .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife phoned me while she was on holiday.
"How's the baby?" she asked. "Have you changed her n**... today?"
I said, "No, I haven't changed it all week, in fact."
"What? Why the h**... have you not changed our baby's n**...? It's been five days!!!"
I said, "Because it says 4-6 months on the packet."
A bear walks onto a bar and orders a round of drinks.
I'd like 2 pints of Carlsberg, 2 pints of Stella and a packet of . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cheese and onion crisps.
The barman asks, "Why the big pause?"
The bear replies, "so I can rip apart seals"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just been asked by a group of kids outside the Spar shop if I would get them 20 Richmonds.
Stupidly I agreed and got them a packet.
When I handed them over, I couldn't believe the a**... I got off the cheeky little b**... after doing it!! Told them next time they can get their own sausages!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the old days when everyone got paid in cash for their work, Frank was walking to the pub to meet up with his friends when he found an envelope with someone's payslip and entire wages for the week.
His face was angry when he got inside the pub. His friends asked him what was wrong.
What's wrong? He exclaimed. What's wrong is that I just found an entire pay packet.
s**... for them, but good for you. What wrong with that, though?
Look at how much tax they had to pay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bunch of Russian labourers are building a fence
and one of them goes to the foreman and says "Foreman, I have a problem. I just opened this packet of nails and all the heads are on the wrong end."
"Idiot!" yells the foreman. "Those nails are for the other side of the fence!"
