The Best 59 Package Jokes

Following is our collection of Package jokes which are very funny. There are some package wrapper jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these package parcel puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Package Jokes and Puns

A mailman was trying to tell a joke while transporting a package

But he messed up the delivery

The Meaning of dreams

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."

Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent?

Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate.

Not what he was expecting....

A hot divorcee moved in next door to an elderly man who has been lonely for most of his life. A couple of weeks later, she stops at his house for a moment. "I'm ready", she says to him, and his package starts to rise-----he can't help himself! "I wanna blow off some steam, get drunk, and get laid! Can I ask you something before I do that?" The man replies, "Sure!" and is so hard, he can't think clearly. "Can you watch my kids?" the divorcee asks.

A husband was in big trouble...

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.


I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls

Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You`ll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.

Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.

" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"

" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."

" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"

" - Gold, obviously!"

" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."

A black guy and a white girl hookup at a club...

And after a while of dancing and drinks both were getting eager to get under the sheets. They drive back to the girls place and just as the guy was taking out his package, the girl asked "is it true about what they say about black guys?" And he whispered in her ear "you bet it is", he then continued to stab her 5 times and steal her purse.

They were having a sale at the hospital for vasectomies...

It was a package deal.

Hey honey, I bought some steaks. I need you to stand on this box next to me while I eat them.

Because it says right here, "Best if consumed by date on package."

What do you call an exploding box?

Your new Note 7 package

You can explore package envelope reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean package boxed dad jokes. There are also package puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do they package bread at the bakery?

They baguette.

Dreams.

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, I just dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?

You'll know tonight, he said.

That evening the husband came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–to find a book entitled:

The Meaning of Dreams.

Selling Condoms

An 18-yr-old starts work as a pharmacist's assistant. The pharmacist is showing the new kid around the aisles when they stop at the condom display and the kid asks why they come in different quantities per package.

The pharmacist tells the noob that the 3-packs are for high school guy, who gets it on once on Friday night, once on Saturday and once on Sunday.
The 6-packs are for the more-experienced college guys, who do it twice each on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.

So the kid says, "what about these 12-packs?"

The pharmacist replies "the 12-packs are for the guys who've been married for a long time - January, February, March..."

Valentine's Day Gift

A young lady was caught napping one afternoon on Valentine's Day. She woke up when she heard the doorbell.

"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day," she said to her boyfriend. "What do you think it means?"

"You'll know for sure tonight," he replied.

That evening, the young man arrived with a small package and gave it to his girlfriend. Delighted, she opened it and found a book entitled "The meaning of dreams."

Cigarette warnings should also include how dangerous it is just going to purchase a package...

My dad left 19 years ago to buy some and he still hasn't made it back.

I think Debian Linux....

.... has a very `apt` package manager.

I had a dream that I ordered a package and it never came...

...It was a logistical nightmare.

I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...

He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.


Someone threw a dollar coin at the Mayor of Detroit

Police are trying to figure out if it's assault or a bailout package.

A doctor ordered a cadaver...

...for his med students to dissect. When it arrived, the doctor noticed it was missing an organ.

I guess you could say his package was de-livered. ^I'm^sorry

Why don't Ethiopians ever take medicine?

The package says, "take in after eating".

My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had sex...

[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]

...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.

A woman gets up in the morning

wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."

A Blonde hear a "thud" on the ground

Too her surprise, it was a wallet. She decided to do the right thing and turn it in to the police.

After arriving at the police station, the Blonde says,'I'm here to turn in someone's lost wallet.' The officer thanked the Blonde for her deeds and the Blonde returns to her home.

The next day, a package arrived in the mailbox with a wallet inside. The Blonde responds with, ' Thank god someone found my wallet, I must've dropped it while walking yesterday.'

My girlfriend told me she had never heard of condoms...

I thought she must be pulling my leg so I played along. Oh yeah? I said, They're for covering your cigarettes in the rain.

Well one day we were in a pharmacy and she asked the clerk for a package of condoms. He asked what kind, and she said oh, to fit a camel.

Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

A man walks into a bar...

*[This joke is not a part of your premier package. To see this joke you must upgrade to our Platinum Plus Elite Tier.]*

Failure is not an option

It comes bundled with your Microsoft package

The verdict on Net Neutrality

[Please pay $49.98 for the 'News' Package Bundle to see the verdict]

Presents are like penises

The size of the package matters less than the size of the smile on the recipient's face.

On Valentine's Day

On Valentine's Day , a man and his wife got up from bed
The wife told the man that she dreamt of him giving her a diamond ring on Valentine's Day. She asked him what it meant. He said, " You'll see tonight."
That night he came home with a small package.
Excited, his wife opened the package to find a book named "The Meaning of Dreams"

If shoe size really is directly related to the size of a man's package...

Then clowns are way scarier than we all thought.

A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store,

A beautiful blonde strode angrily into the large store and slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.

The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"

The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are meant for 'cats'?"

My SO has both reproductive organs

It's really the hole package.

How do you keep an idiot occupied without Net Neutrality laws?

Please insert credit card information for punchline. If you would like a funnier punchline, choose our premium package for only twice the price!

Even though it's a surplus store, I'm pretty proud of myself for going into Costco and purchasing only ONE item.

A single package of 160 AA batteries.

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves

Looks like the boa cons tricked her

The morning of his birthday, Timmy told his mom, I had a dream I got a BB Gun for my birthday. What do you think that dream means?

You'll know what it means tonight, Timmy's mom said with an encouraging smile. That night, after the birthday cake, Timmy's mom came in with a long narrow package and gave it to her son. Timmy tore the box open. Finally I get a BB gun, he thought. But he thought wrong. The box was empty except for a book called The Meaning of Dreams.

My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves...

Looks like the boa cons tricked her...

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Dating a UPS employee is great

They really know how to handle your package

I had to report my stolen amazon package

The police are still looking for a prime suspect

Light bulb thief

I came across an open package of light bulbs at work today.

I thought to myself, "Stealing lightbulbs? This guy must be in a really dark place".

I competed in a contest to see who could throw a package the farthest.

I won and got the job as an UPS driver!

Johnny became a mailman after hearing how they always slept with women as part of the punchline of jokes. He figured he'd tell the jokes to mothers as he dropped of the mail and then sleep with them. He dropped off package after package and told joke after joke, but no mothers ever slept with him.

One day he asked a mother if he's been mislead by the jokes. Maybe mother's really never slept with the mailmen and the jokes were misleading.

The mother said, oh honey, it's not the jokes, it your delivery.

The diamond necklace

During the breakfast in her birthday, a woman told her husband:

β€” Honey, last night I had a dream where you gifted me a diamond necklace. I wonder what that means…

β€” Oh, perhaps you'll find out tonight! β€” the man replied.

Later that evening, the husband arrived from work with a small package. He gave it to the woman. She unwrapped it very excited, and inside she found a book: *The Meaning of Dreams*.

man on the beach

A man on the beach has nothing on but a cap covering his package. A woman walks by and says, If you were a true gentleman, you'd lift your hat to a lady. The man replied, If you were a sexy woman, the hat would lift itself

Did you hear the joke about the FedEx package?

I didn't get it.

Why was Snape so upset when Lily Potter was wrongfully terminated?

She was never able to receive her Severus package.

What do you call a package of documents sent via boat?

Pier to pier file transfer!

The other day a mysterious package appeared on my doorstep.

Upon further inspection, I realized it was a large bowl-shaped object with two knobs that controlled the outflow of a liquid. I stood on the doorstep and yelled to my wife to come and look. She told me she had ordered it for the bathroom.

Let that sink in.

UPS- Your package has been delivered

Me- Ok, thanks, but why was it livered in the first place?

The postman said he'd hold my package till I got home...

it was an uncomfortable walk.

A guy is sitting on his porch when his blonde neighbor walks out to her mailbox.

She opens the mailbox, looks in, colses it up and walks back into the house. Five minutes later, she does the same thing. After another five minutes, the same thing, but this time she's visibly angry. She comes out again after another five minutes, looking furious. She looks in the mailbox and slams it closed. As she's walking back to the house, the guy says,

"Not to be nosy, but are you expecting an important package?"

The blonde answers, "No! It's my damn computer! It keeps telling me I have mail!"

Why do lesbians make horrible delivery drivers?

They only focus on the box and ignore the package!

What did the Senate have to say about the new stimulus package?

Let them eat cake!

The UPS guy accidentally dropped my package

Ups

Did you hear about the new shipping company merger?

COVID has skyrocketed the demand for delivery services, causing an unforeseen merger in the works. To ensure the people get the best package delivery and express service, UPS and FedEx are joining forces...and they are calling themselves FedUp (:


(My dad made this joke up a long time ago I just added the COVID setup)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the package packet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working package bag piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes