The Best 38 Pack Of Condoms Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Pack Of Condoms jokes. There are some pack of condoms prepackaged jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pack of condoms packin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Pack Of Condoms Jokes and Puns
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?"
The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."
"TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
The pharmacist
Peter walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store.
The next day he comes in again, buys condoms, and walks out laughing.
Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back.
Sure enough, Peter comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.
So did you follow him? asks pharmacist
Yup.
Where did he go?
Your house.
Olympic Condoms
A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*.
"What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?" He asks her with a grin.
She simply responds,
"Why don't you try out the silver and come second for a change"
Cowboy and a Drugstore Clerk
Cowboy: Give me three packs of condoms please.
Clerk: You need a bag with that?
Cowboy: Nah... She's purty good lookin...
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms...
... He walks up to the lady at the register and says: "Give me a pack of condoms, please." The lady says: "Sure, do you need a grocery bag with that?" The guy looks at her and says: "No thank you, this time she isn't that ugly."
Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette
It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a condom out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.
The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.
She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"
The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"
Optimism is measured by how many condoms a guy packs for a weekend out of town.
Disappointment is measured by how many he brings back.
2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain...
The first nun takes out a condom and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?"
"From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun.
So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms.
"What size do you need" asked the clerk.
The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"
A man walks into a convenience store..
A man walks into a convenience store to buy a pack of condoms ..
The clerk asks if he would like a bag ..
He responds "No thanks, she's not that ugly,"
Two elderly ladies are smoking outside...
It stared raining and one of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts the end off and puts it over her cigarette so it won't get wet. The other lady thinks this is a great idea so she decides to head to the store to buy some condoms.
When she gets there she goes to the counter and asks the cashier for a pack of condoms. He looks at her in disgust as he can't believe someone of her age would be having sex. He asks what kind she would like anyways as he doesn't want to lose his job.
She replys "honey, it doesn't matter what kind as long as it fits a camel"
COUNTING CONDOMS
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
You can explore pack of condoms drugstore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pack of condoms packs dad jokes. There are also pack of condoms puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent's. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Pharmacy
A man walks into a pharmacy - "Id like 3 packs of condoms please".
The pharmacist - "Here you go sir, would you like a bag".
Man: "No thanks, the girl is good looking".
When I was 15 my dad bought me my first pack of condoms
When they expired 5 years later he bought me my second.
Wife asks why I'm packing condoms
Wife asks: "Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?" I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.
Selling Condoms
An 18-yr-old starts work as a pharmacist's assistant. The pharmacist is showing the new kid around the aisles when they stop at the condom display and the kid asks why they come in different quantities per package.
The pharmacist tells the noob that the 3-packs are for high school guy, who gets it on once on Friday night, once on Saturday and once on Sunday.
The 6-packs are for the more-experienced college guys, who do it twice each on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.
So the kid says, "what about these 12-packs?"
The pharmacist replies "the 12-packs are for the guys who've been married for a long time - January, February, March..."
I bought a 12 pack of condoms the other day.
The cashier asked if I'd like a bag, I said "Nah, I'll just turn the lights off".
A guy walks into a pharmacy buys a pack of condoms and walks out laughing
He does this every day consecutive for a week. Finally the pharmacy owner asks his assistant to follow the man the next time he returns. Sure enough the man returns the next day and walks out laughing once again. The assistant follows him and returns about half an hour later. When the pharmacist asked where he had followed him the assistant simply replied "your house".
A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag.
He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
What condom packs do rednecks buy?
Family-Size.
I thought condoms stopped you from having children?
I bought my son a pack for his birthday but the fucker's still around.
Tax on Condoms
A woman walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms.
"That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk.
"What's the 8 cents for?" asks the woman. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging."
"Tax," replies the clerk.
"Gee", says the woman, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a condom.
She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up. The pharmacist said "What brand of condoms do you prefer ma'am." She said "I'm not sure, they're for my Camels," at which point he fainted.
Guy walks into a pharmacy
And says to the clerk "14 packs of condoms please"
The clerk replies "Do you need a bag"
"No she's pretty"
The only thing more depressing than finding a mostly-full pack of expired condoms in your draw...
is finding an empty pack of in-date condoms in your girlfriend's purse.
A guy enters the pharmacy...
Guy: 5 packs of condoms please.
Cashier: Do you need a bag with those?
Guy: Don't worry she's pretty.
Costco has a good deal on Condoms
It's an anti-family pack.
Kid asks is paw why do these condoms come in 3 packs?
Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?
Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!
Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?
Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...
I bought a pack of condoms and the pharmacist asked if I'd like a bag for that.
I said, "no I'm good, she's actually quite pretty"
On the back of a pack of condoms it said: "Keep away from children."
So now I have to get her the morning after pill.
I walked in on my girlfriend poking holes in a pack of condoms...
But it's ok. She assured me that she wasn't going to use them with me.
A husband's new wife really wants...
A husband's new wife really wants to go on a cruise for their honeymoon. The husband agrees, even though he tends to get horribly seasick on the water.
So the day before the wedding, he goes to a drugstore. He gets a jumbo pack of condoms, and the largest bottle of dramamine in the store.
At the checkout counter, the cashier looks at his condoms and dramamine and asks, If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?
I bought a family pack of condoms.
I opened it up and it was empty.
A guy comes to the shops counter to pay for a pack of condoms
Vendor: you want a bag with that?
Guy: No thanks, she is not that ugly
"Son, I found a pack of condoms in your room."
"Thanks Grandpa!"
"Why did you call me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
A young man walks in to a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms
Cashier: would you like a bag?
Man: jeez, she's not *that* ugly!
I bought a pack of condoms and on the front it said, "Longer lasting."
Which is just as well, because they've been in my wallet for years.
My wife and I decided to stop having kids...
I haven't bought condoms in a while and I was surprised of find a years supply for such a reasonable price.
Pack of 3 for $3.69. Super-sensitive too.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pack of condoms carton jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working pack of condoms bag piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.