The Best 61 Pack Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pack jokes. There are some pack package jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pack bag puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pack Jokes and Puns

Father: Son, you were adopted.

Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.

I ate an entire pack of rohypnol last night and it didn't even affect me...

Anyway, gotta go. I need to do some last minute Christmas shopping.

Lady barges into radio shack

She grabs at the nearest employee and exclaims:

"I need a pack of double A batteries RIGHT NOW!"

The employee, flustered, replies: "All right, stay calm and just ... come this way", as he gestures her to follow him with a wave of his fingers.

She yells "If I could do that, I wouldn't need the batteries!"

Pack joke, Lady barges into radio shack

A man comes home from work

and tells his wife "Pack your bags, I just hit the lottery." His wife says "Oh that's wonderful. Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says "I don't care. Just get out."

Olympic Condoms

A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*.

"What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?" He asks her with a grin.

She simply responds,

"Why don't you try out the silver and come second for a change"


I phoned my wife today and said...

"Pack a bag dear, I've booked us into a hotel for a few nights."

"Ooh, why's that?" she asked.

I said, "Well I've been playing poker all day, havent I!"

"Really?" she asked again in excitement, "How much have you won?"

"Nothing," I replied. "I've lost the house."

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms...

... He walks up to the lady at the register and says: "Give me a pack of condoms, please." The lady says: "Sure, do you need a grocery bag with that?" The guy looks at her and says: "No thank you, this time she isn't that ugly."

Pack joke, A guy goes to the store to buy condoms...

RIP to my good friend Brian...

...eaten by a pack of dyslexic zombies :(

There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke?

They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter

Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette

It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a condom out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.

The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.

She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"

The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"

So, I hit the lottery for two million dollars.....

The first thing I did was to call my wife. I tell her I hit the lottery for two million dollars, pack your bags. She asks me "should I pack for cold weather or warm".
I told her that I didn't care, just be out by the time I get home.

You can explore pack pack of condoms reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pack backpack dad jokes. There are also pack puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Winning the lottery

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain...

The first nun takes out a condom and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking.

The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?"

"From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun.

So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms.

"What size do you need" asked the clerk.

The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"

Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart

and stopped littering

A man walks into a convenience store..

A man walks into a convenience store to buy a pack of condoms ..
The clerk asks if he would like a bag ..
He responds "No thanks, she's not that ugly,"

Did you hear about the guy who ran over himself?

He asked a kid to go across the street to get a pack of smokes, the kid said "No!", so he ran over himself.

Pack joke, Did you hear about the guy who ran over himself?

My wife and I only smoke after sex; I've had the same pack since 2003.

She's up to three packs a day.

What do you get when you shoot four bullets into a six pack?

A Tupac...

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent's. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."


My wife and I said we would only smoke after sex....

I have had the same pack of cigarettes since 2007, im starting to get worried about my wife though shes been going through 3 packs a day!

Johnny threw a pack of cards at Jenny

Jenny started crying but the teacher told her to deal with it

"Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted.

"What?! Really?!", I said.

"Yep! Go pack your things and get ready", my dad said. "They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes."

In honor of the Powerball

A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!" The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"

A man runs home after winning the lottery

"Honey honey! We won the lottery! Pack your bags!"

"Oh my god that's amazing! Where are we going?!"

"I don't care, just get out!"

I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night

A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato

Dad, are ghosts real?

Dad: No son, of course not

Son: The nanny said they are

Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny

A man wins the lottery...

A man wins the lottery, jumps in to his car and goes home in a hurry, screeching in to his driveway. He leaps out and runs in to his house and yells to his wife upstairs "I've won the lottery! I've won the lottery! Quick, pack up your suitcase, I've won the lottery!" His wife is yells down "Woohoo! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?" The husband replies "I don't care, just get out!"

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman...

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.

A good example: I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.........?

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"

Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack?

Because of all his cross training

My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.

She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.

For my next trick

I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

My girlfriend told me to get something to make her look sexy for her birthday.

So I bought myself a 12 pack.

Our anniversary is coming up, so my wife told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.

She will love this pack of playing cards.

A guy walks into a pharmacy buys a pack of condoms and walks out laughing

He does this every day consecutive for a week. Finally the pharmacy owner asks his assistant to follow the man the next time he returns. Sure enough the man returns the next day and walks out laughing once again. The assistant follows him and returns about half an hour later. When the pharmacist asked where he had followed him the assistant simply replied "your house".

What do you call the pack of boars who killed members of Isis?

Squeal Team 6

A father says to his son, "Son, you're adopted."

Son: "What? That's not funny, dad."

Dad: "Yup, pack your stuff, they'll be here in an hour."

"Son, you were adopted."

"I was?" the son asked.

"Yes." his parents replied. "And they're coming to pick you up any minute now so go pack your bags."

A group of fish is a school. A group of birds is a flock. A group of wolves is a pack. What do you call a group of Trump supporters?

A klan

2 men are on a boat sharing a pack of cigarettes when they realise they have no lighter

How do they light up?

They toss a cigarette overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter.

If you're ever chased by a pack of taxidermists

DO NOT play dead.

I keep imagining I'm holding an invisible pack of cards

No one knows what I'm dealing with.

Sometimes, it's very important as to whether a sentence was said by a man or a woman

For example: I used up a whole pack of tissues yesterday during that movie!

On the back of a pack of condoms it said: "Keep away from children."

So now I have to get her the morning after pill.

My dad just called a family meeting.

Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.

"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.

"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".

A pregnant woman asks the cashier for a pack of cigarettes...

The cashier immediately begins to berate her for such a poor decision. "I can't believe you are being so stupid. Knowing that you are pregnant! You shouldn't buy a single pack until after you've had the baby."

"You're right," the lady replied, "Give me a carton. I'm smoking for two now."

Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

An old man was sitting next to a kid

And he saw the kid eating a lot of chocolate, pack after pack...

So the man asked the kid: do you think it's healthy for you eating all that chocolate?

So the kid answered: My grandpa died at 100 years old

-And you think it's because he ate chocolate?

-No, it's because he minded his own business.

I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.

Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.

Everyone told me smoking kills, I had no idea how fast.

My dad went to get his first pack of cigarettes ever and I never saw him again.

Father: "Son, you were adopted. Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will be here to pick you up in 20 minutes.

Going to be saying goodbye to this group that I love so much

I am here to say goodbye, this group has been fantastic but my wife says I spend too much time here and she can't take it anymore. We argued about it and she told me its either her or the group. So I am going to be gone for a few minutes while I help her pack and call her an uber.
I'll be right back

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

The best way to get a six pack at the gym

is to take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.

A young man walks into a convenience store

He opens up the beer cooler and grabs a six pack. An old man standing next to him gives him a look, and the young man says "how much do you want to bet they'll sell me this beer even though I'm not twenty-one?" The old man says "they even check MY ID here. Twenty bucks."

"You're on." The young man says as he walks up to the cashier. Much to the old man's dismay, the young man shows his ID and pays for the beer.

"How? How did they sell you that if you're not twenty-one?" The old man asks.

The young man puts out his hand and says "That's easy, I'm twenty-two."

What do rappers like to add to their coffee?

Two pack sugar.

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed

At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong honey?"

"Daddy, where's my booger?"

Marriage is a lot like PLASTIC BAGS…

They help hold a lot of trash together.

Source: my brother during a round of joke boat on jackbox party pack 6

"The person who answers this last question gets to leave early" said the teacher

"Now what is the sum of three and two, multiplied by the square root of 6 " the teacher asked.

The class began scribbling furiously. All except for Bobby. Bobby raised his hand and the teacher called on him.

"5" answered Bobby confidently. He began to pack up his things and walk to the door.

"Not quite correct Bobby" the teacher said "so you don't get to leave early"

"You didn't say it had to be correct...Just that someone had to answer"

What Are We Eating?

A can of tuna has a picture of a tuna fish

A pack of Ham has a picture of a pig

Turkey has a picture of a turkey

Egg carton has a picture of a chicken

Beef has a picture of a cow

Dogfood has a picture of a dog

If you have a six pack and get shot four times in the stomach, what do you have?

A Tupac

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pack bunch jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pack bundle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes