Pack Jokes
172 pack jokes and hilarious pack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article discusses the many types of "packs," both literal and figurative, with jokes sure to make you laugh. From a "fanny pack" and "six pack" to a "rat pack" and a "jet pack," no pack is left unopened or untouched. Even the "packet" of condoms get its own joke. Don't miss out on these hilarious jokes about the many "packs" of life.
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Funniest Pack Short Jokes
Short pack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pack humour may include short wrap jokes also.
- Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes. - Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.
- My boyfriend is upset that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
- My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.
- Everyone told me smoking kills, I had no idea how fast. My dad went to get his first pack of cigarettes ever and I never saw him again.
- My wife is furious at me because I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right left away.
- My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right...
- I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory. The hours are terrible, but apparently the celery is good.
- /u/username hates the hotel he is staying in and starts packing his stuff. Username checks out.
- I keep imagining I'm holding an invisible pack of cards No one knows what I'm dealing with.
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Pack One Liners
Which pack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pack? I can suggest the ones about parcel and shipment.
- The wife caught me cross-dressing So I packed her things and left
- What do you get when you shoot four bullets into a six pack? A Tupac...
- Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack? Because of all his cross training
- My girlfriend dumped me because I'm unorganised. So she packed my suitcase and I left.
- My dad said I have no sense of direction in life. So I packed my stuff and right
- I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato
- What do you call a yeti with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- If you're ever chased by a pack of taxidermists DO NOT play dead.
- Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart and stopped littering
- What do you call the pack of boars who killed members of Isis? Squeal Team 6
- All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards. It was difficult to deal with.
- Who were the first people with six packs? Ab originals
- What do nudists pack for vacation? Just the bare necessities.
- She's a perfect 10 A 4 with a 6-pack under her arm.
- What do rappers like to add to their coffee? Two pack sugar.
Back Pack Jokes
Here is a list of funny back pack jokes and even better back pack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a tree do when he's going on a vacation? He packs his trunk and leaves.
I should go back to studying now. K bye. - Programmers wife tells him to go to the store... She tell him, "Get some bacon, if there's milk get three."
He comes back with three packs of bacon and no milk. - On the back of a pack of condoms it said: "Keep away from children." So now I have to get her the morning after pill.
- I used to tell dad jokes. But he still hasn't come back from buying that pack of cigarettes yet.
- Back in my day Back in my day you use to be able to go into a Shop with £1.00 and come out with 2 Chocolate Bars and a Packed Of crisp, but now these days they have Cameras.
- I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits, but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
- Olive Garden really does treat you like family... My waiter left to go buy a pack cigarettes, and he still hasn't come back yet. 😢
- Back in my day, you could walk into a store with $25 and walk out with 2 ribeye steaks, a case of beer, a pack of toilet paper and a gallon of milk. You just can't do that anymore…. Too many cameras.
- Did you hear about the man with a stutter who went to the shop for a mars bar? He came back with 50 packs of m and m's
- Last Sunday I found a wallet packed with money down by the church." Did you give it back?"
"Not yet. I'm still trying to decide if it's a temptation from the devil or the answer to a prayer."
Six Pack Jokes
Here is a list of funny six pack jokes and even better six pack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's a seven-course meal in Alabama? A possum and a six-pack.
- How does a bishop get a six pack? He exorcises
- Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal A six pack and a potato
- The teacher asks little Johnny : "Your dad buys 18 six-packs of beer at $3 a piece, how much is it ?" "I'd say about a one week supply, Ma'am !"
- The best way to get a six pack at the gym is to take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
- How would you describe a bodybuilder who doesn't have six packs Abnormal.
- Here's a sweet (But corny) joke! Q: What do you call three packs of Twix?
A: Six. - Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs? Because hes Cross fit.
Happy easter! - I decided to show off my six pack on Tinder. Budweiser is not getting me any dates.
- Some girls are in to a six pack... I'm just a guy that's looking for a box full of wine.
Flat Pack Jokes
Here is a list of funny flat pack jokes and even better flat pack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Just been diagnosed with Swedish flat pack syndrome. Sadly I have no IKEA what it means.
- Ingar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA has passed away - flat pack coffins
- Allen key
- left over parts
- missing screws
This joke needs some assembly - Why do flat earthers love Ikea so much? Because everything comes flat packed... I'm sorry.. sounded better in my head in the shower
Wolf Pack Jokes
Here is a list of funny wolf pack jokes and even better wolf pack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a wolf hunter consider success? Smoking a pack a day.
- When a male grey wolf takes over a pack, he adopts his rival's puppies He becomes the SteppenWolf
- Did you hear about the wolf that left his pack for banking? He's a loan wolf now.
- If a man has six sheep and one wolf eats two of his sheep. How many sheep does he have now? Zero, wolves always travel in packs.
- What is a wolf's favourite dance move? The Shuffle
... pack of wolves. - Why is there a wolf in the smoke shop? He's just looking for a pack.
Quirky and Hilarious Pack Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about pack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pile jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pack pranks.
A man smokes a pack a day for 30 years
His wife, sick of it: do you realize that if you had saved all this cigaret money you could have bought a ferrari by now ?
The man answers: well where's your ferrari ?
My wife threw a pack of turkey and a lighter in the cart and my God the temptation was strong...
It was just last week that I quit smoking cold turkey
I ate an entire pack of rohypnol last night and it didn't even affect me...
Anyway, gotta go. I need to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?
In case your other agus breaks.
The pharmacist
Peter walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store.
The next day he comes in again, buys condoms, and walks out laughing.
Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back.
Sure enough, Peter comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.
So did you follow him? asks pharmacist
Yup.
Where did he go?
Your house.
Lady barges into radio shack
She grabs at the nearest employee and exclaims:
"I need a pack of double A batteries RIGHT NOW!"
The employee, flustered, replies: "All right, stay calm and just ... come this way", as he gestures her to follow him with a wave of his fingers.
She yells "If I could do that, I wouldn't need the batteries!"
Olympic Condoms
A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*.
"What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?" He asks her with a grin.
She simply responds,
"Why don't you try out the silver and come second for a change"
I phoned my wife today and said...
"Pack a bag dear, I've booked us into a hotel for a few nights."
"Ooh, why's that?" she asked.
I said, "Well I've been playing poker all day, havent I!"
"Really?" she asked again in excitement, "How much have you won?"
"Nothing," I replied. "I've lost the house."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
RIP to my good friend Brian...
...eaten by a pack of dyslexic zombies :(
There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke?
They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter
So a Hispanic man walks into a bar...
He sees an old cigarette machine and decides to buy a pack. He puts in his change and the machine flashes the words, DIME, DIME, DIME. He looks around and whispers to the machine, Malboro.
Gone Fishing.
This guy came home from work and said to his wife, "I need a vacation. I'm too stressed out. I think I'll go fishing for the weekend."
"Okay," she says. "I'll pack for you."
So she packs for him and he goes away for the weekend. When he comes back he says, "Wow, I feel a lot better now!"
"How did I pack?" the wife asks.
"You did fine, except you forgot my pajamas," he replies.
"No I didn't," she says. "I didn't have enough room in your bag so I put them in your tackle box."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a Saturday evening...
It's a Saturday evening. A man goes up to the register in a supermarket, bearing a six pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. The cashier says, "Single, huh?"
The man laughs and says, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette
It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a c**... out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.
The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.
She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"
The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"
So, I hit the lottery for two million dollars.....
The first thing I did was to call my wife. I tell her I hit the lottery for two million dollars, pack your bags. She asks me "should I pack for cold weather or warm".
I told her that I didn't care, just be out by the time I get home.
A man wins the lottery...
A man wins a substantial amount of money on the lottery and tells his girlfriend "I've just won the lottery! Quickly, pack your things!"
"Oh my god, oh my god!! Where are we going?!" she exclaims.
The man replies, "Who said I was going anywhere?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain...
The first nun takes out a c**... and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?"
"From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun.
So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms.
"What size do you need" asked the clerk.
The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"
Did you hear about the guy who ran over himself?
He asked a kid to go across the street to get a pack of smokes, the kid said "No!", so he ran over himself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two elderly ladies are smoking outside...
It stared raining and one of the ladies pulls out a c**..., cuts the end off and puts it over her cigarette so it won't get wet. The other lady thinks this is a great idea so she decides to head to the store to buy some condoms.
When she gets there she goes to the counter and asks the cashier for a pack of condoms. He looks at her in disgust as he can't believe someone of her age would be having s**.... He asks what kind she would like anyways as he doesn't want to lose his job.
She replys "honey, it doesn't matter what kind as long as it fits a camel"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife and I only smoke after s**...; I've had the same pack since 2003.
She's up to three packs a day.
Nighttime. You're alone on a small boat at sea, hours away from any land. All you brought with you is a pack of cigarettes. You wanna smoke, but realize you forgot a lighter. What do you do?
You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water... thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter.
A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent's. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Johnny threw a pack of cards at Jenny
Jenny started crying but the teacher told her to deal with it
In honor of the Powerball
A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!" The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"
A man runs home after winning the lottery
"Honey honey! We won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
"Oh my god that's amazing! Where are we going?!"
"I don't care, just get out!"
Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags?
Because it's traveling light!
I got two packs o' sugar...
Call me Two Canes
^I'm ^sorry.
Dad, are ghosts real?
Dad: No son, of course not
Son: The nanny said they are
Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny
A man goes to buy a pack of cigarettes......
The cashier hands him a pack. He goes out and thinks of lighting one up. The pack reads "Beware smoking causing impotency". He goes back in hey man i think you gave me the wrong pack give me the one with cancer.
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman...
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.
A good example: I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!
I gave a homeless man 10 dollars and told him, "I want to make sure you find something good to eat". After watching him come out of the store with a pack of cigarettes I was quite upset
His stomach was too after I made sure he ate them.
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.........?
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
My wife just told me she's leaving me if I don't stop drinking
I told her " Come on honey just one more drink, and I will help you pack!
Me: What would you do if we won the lottery? Wife: I would take my half, leave you and live happily by myself.
Me: Promise?
Wife: Sure!
Me: Great, we won a 100 Pounds, here's your 50. Pack your bags.
And that's when the fight started…
How do they package bread at the bakery?
They baguette.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For my next trick
I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes....
they performed unspeakable acts on me. ..!!
I bought a 12 pack of condoms the other day.
The cashier asked if I'd like a bag, I said "Nah, I'll just turn the lights off".
My parents once made me smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in one sitting.
To teach me about brand loyalty.
"What's that in your bag?"
"A knife, a box of matchsticks, some petrol and a few sticks of dynamite"
"No, that other thing there"
"Oh, just a pack of wafers"
"I'm sorry you can't bring that into the theater"
Greg wins £25,000,000.00 in the nationally lottery and runs home
"Margret, I won the lottery, pack your bags", "why Greg, where are we going?". "I don't care, pack your bags and get out" says Greg.
I'm getting ready to go down to support the woman's march.
Just waiting on my wife to pack me a sandwich.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend told me to get something to make her look s**... for her birthday.
So I bought myself a 12 pack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One more for the road. Abu Al Abid went to USA for the first time,
He opened a furniture shop & a l**... shop.
In 6 months....
he made a good business.
.
He sends an email to his wife saying:
Please rush, pack up & come to USA,
I sold 100 mattresses and 5000 p**....
I made $100,000.
She replies:
It is better that you close your shop and come back fast.
With 1 mattress & with no p**...
I made $300,000.. ...
A guy walks into a pharmacy buys a pack of condoms and walks out laughing
He does this every day consecutive for a week. Finally the pharmacy owner asks his assistant to follow the man the next time he returns. Sure enough the man returns the next day and walks out laughing once again. The assistant follows him and returns about half an hour later. When the pharmacist asked where he had followed him the assistant simply replied "your house".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a teenager, my dad found cigarettes in my room & made me smoke the whole pack.
I'm really glad he didn't find my bag of h**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I thought condoms stopped you from having children?
I bought my son a pack for his birthday but the f**...'s still around.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The whole pack
This guy caught me having s**... with his daughter, and he was furious.
He said, "I'm not going to go easy on you, son. Nobody ever went easy on me. When I was a kid, my father caught me smoking a cigarette, and he made me smoke the whole pack right in front of him. When my mother caught me drinking whisky from the cabinet, she made me drink the entire bottle down to the last drop."
I said, "I think I see where you're going with this. How many kids do you have?"
I went to the store today to buy some coconuts.
And a pack of gum, so it wouldn't be weird.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a c**....
She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up. The pharmacist said "What brand of condoms do you prefer ma'am." She said "I'm not sure, they're for my Camels," at which point he fainted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of fish is a school. A group of birds is a flock. A group of wolves is a pack. What do you call a group of Trump supporters?
A k**...
Under my doctor's advice, I am now healthily smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day.
He told me smoking just 1 pack a day would kill me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just went to the store and bought a pack of energy saving light bulbs...
As the woman scanned them, she asked, "Will you be putting these up yourself, sir?"
"'Erm, no." I replied. "What kind of sicko do you think I am?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Shopping for singles
I went to a small grocery shop. I am on my way to pay and look for a line. I suddenly notice one young and pretty cashier with almost empty line so I go for it. I start to unload my groceries on a tilt. One pack of hard cigarettes, 6 beers, frozen pizza, some bacon and chocolate bars.
The cashier smiles at me and says: ''You are single, right?''
Little shocked I reply with a smile ''Yes... why? Did my selection of grocery gave it away?''
''No, you are ugly as f*c**....''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My gay friend decided he wanted to quit being gay...
So he bought himself a pack of nicorette patches and he puts them on his w**.... It's working pretty well, he's down to two butts a day.
I just saw a video of someone crushing a 6 pack of Coke in a hydraulic press. All that wasted cola made me so sad.
It was soda-pressing
Costco has a good deal on Condoms
It's an anti-family pack.
A husband's new wife really wants...
A husband's new wife really wants to go on a cruise for their honeymoon. The husband agrees, even though he tends to get horribly seasick on the water.
So the day before the wedding, he goes to a drugstore. He gets a jumbo pack of condoms, and the largest bottle of dramamine in the store.
At the checkout counter, the cashier looks at his condoms and dramamine and asks, If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?
Okay, Lama spelled with one 'L' is a holy man in Tibet. With two 'L's, a llama is a South American pack animal.
So, what is a three 'L' lama?
A big fire in Boston.
I once saw a dart hit a man and instantly paralyze him.
Those little Dodge's sure can pack a punch.
I found a hair in my Snack Pack.
It was off-pudding.
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
My roommates a thief. I left a 6 pack of beer in my fridge last night and this morning there's only a couple left.
It's a 4 gone conclusion.
A cannibal wanted some sushi
So he bought a pack of ra-men
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pregnant woman asks the cashier for a pack of cigarettes...
The cashier immediately begins to berate her for such a poor decision. "I can't believe you are being so s**.... Knowing that you are pregnant! You shouldn't buy a single pack until after you've had the baby."
"You're right," the lady replied, "Give me a carton. I'm smoking for two now."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the r**... magician?
He turns a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what do you call a pack of l**...?
a Pride
