Pacific Jokes

84 pacific jokes and hilarious pacific puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pacific that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find out why Pacific islanders have some of the best jokes! Learn about the unique histories and cultures of the Pacific islands and see why this part of the world is full of colorful stories and humorous quips. Whether you live on the Pacific Coast, Northwest, Northwest Islands, or even the Rim, discover the Pacific islands' humor and find out why it's so popular!

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Funniest Pacific Short Jokes

Short pacific jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pacific humour may include short west coast jokes also.

  1. With all the turmoil in the world, the US benefits from its two greatest allies... The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
  2. The Kardashians go for a swim in the pacific ocean The percentage of plastic in the ocean increases by 400%.
  3. My friend didn't understand my ocean puns I guess I should have been more pacific.
    I'll sea myself out.
  4. What's it called when a transgender person hooks up with an Asian? A Trans Pacific Partnership
  5. What do mumble rappers from the East coast rap about? I don't know...Their verses aren't Pacific.
  6. "What is the largest body of water in the world?" Quiz contestant: "The ocean?" Asker: "I'm sorry, you're going to have to be more Pacific."
  7. Did you hear about the shepherd that retired to the Pacific Northwest? He was sheepless in Seattle.
  8. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? You need to be more Pacific.
    *cymbal clash*
  9. I wanted to be an engineer for Canadian pacific railways... But they said they couldn't train me.
  10. What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common? Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

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Pacific One Liners

Which pacific one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pacific? I can suggest the ones about eastern and atlantic ocean.

  1. Help! I'm lost at sea. I'm somewhere between America and Japan I can't be anymore pacific
  2. What's big and blue and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? The Pacific Ocean.
  3. What's the biggest thing that separates Jaguars from Leopards? The Pacific Ocean.
  4. Where did the Japanese watch their movies in WWII The Pacific Theatre
  5. Yo Mamma's so Fat... That when she jumped in the pacific, Japan said "not again".
  6. What do you call an assault by a Pacific Islander? Hawaiian Punch
  7. What Is The Pacific Treefrog's Favorite Cut Of Steak? Ribeye
  8. What do you call a dog from the Pacific Islands? A PAW-lynesian 😂 me please.
  9. How big is the specific ocean? Sorry, could you be a little more pacific.
  10. Why did the pacific islander go back to mcDonalds? To get Samoa chips.
  11. Where do only the finest South Pacific neckbeards hail from? M'laysia.
  12. What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific? Nothing. It just waved.
  13. What's the most apathetic island in the pacific? I don't care Atoll
  14. What do you call a Polynesian trans couple? A Trans-Pacific Partnership
  15. Which ocean? Could you be more Pacific?

Pacific Ocean Jokes

Here is a list of funny pacific ocean jokes and even better pacific ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
    A: A great place to start.
  • -- A tsunami warning has just been issued for the entire coast of California -- In other news:
    Your mom recently did a cannon ball into the Pacific Ocean.
  • I live near an ocean—not the Atlantic. Can you be more Pacific?
  • (True Story) Just got off a plane through the pacific and realized something... There is no such thing as an emergency water landing. It's called crashing into the ocean.
  • What did the Pacific ocean say to the Atlantic ocean? Wanna meet up for some Indian?
  • Yo mama's so fat... She was baptized in the Pacific Ocean
  • The first warm-blooded fish was found in the Pacific Ocean... but we weren't told pacifically where.
  • Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
  • What happens when you throw a purple rock into the Pacific Ocean? It goes *splash*

Pacific Islander Jokes

Here is a list of funny pacific islander jokes and even better pacific islander puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Best pizza joint in all of the Pacific Islands? Papua Murphy's
  • What do you call a Pacific Islander who believes in a managed market economy? A Polykeynesian.
  • I had a Pacific Islander friend who was into white chicks. When I asked him why, he simply replied:
    Poly want a c**...!
Pacific joke, I had a Pacific Islander friend who was into white chicks.

South Pacific Jokes

Here is a list of funny south pacific jokes and even better south pacific puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the drug kingpin in Hawaii they call the El Chapo of the south Pacific? He's the leader of the Sin-aloha cartel.

Pacific Northwest Jokes

Here is a list of funny pacific northwest jokes and even better pacific northwest puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you know you're from the Pacific Northwest? When you're Washingtons of ash off your car in the morning
  • 'Squatches are pretty common in the Pacific Northwest They're just _always_ doing the most horrifyingly embarrassing things, and everyone would rather discuss/film anything else.
  • The giant ape like ,black, hairy, giant footed creature roaming the forests of the Pacific Northwest. To you, it's the Sasquatch! To me it's ...........
  • The Washington r**... announced their new name! The Pacific Northwest r**...
Pacific joke, The Washington r**... announced their new name!

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Pacific Jokes

What funny jokes about pacific you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean northwest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pacific pranks.

May I have a piece of gum?

Two gay guys are in a large passenger plane flying across the Pacific. In the middle of the flight, one turns and tells his partner: "Let's have s**.... Right here and now." His partner says: "Are you crazy? In front of all these people?" The first gay guy says: "Don't worry. They're all asleep. Here, see for yourself." He leans out into the aisle and yells: "Excuse me, can anybody let me have a piece of gum?" There's no answer or any kind of interest. His partner is convinced and they have s**... right then and there.
The plane lands and as the passengers are disembarking there is a stewardess by the exit asking everyone if they had a good flight. One man says, "The flight was fine but I have a horrible headache". The stewardess says: "Oh you poor thing, why didn't you ask for some aspirin?" And the man says: "Are you kidding? I saw what happened to that poor guy who asked for a piece of gum."

Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...

On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.
"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."

What the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and reading have in common?

Both are literacy.
[homophonic joke explainer: "litter a-sea"]

TIL the first commodity traded across the USA was jaweia.

Lewis and Clark brought a sack of it with them on their expedition to the Pacific coast.

What do you call it when two transgender people go on a couples cruise around Hawaii?

A trans pacific partner ship.

North America blames Pacific for his extreme build up of stress. Pacific replies "It's not my fault"

It's San Andreas fault.

Have you heard the news about the super-typhoon in the Pacific?

It's taking Japan by storm.

What did Chandler Bing say when he reached Point Nemo?

Can you *be* any more Pacific?

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.

A blonde calls a 24/7 support call center

The blonde asks what hours they are open for. The technical support person says we are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The blonde stops for a moment a thinks. After a while she asks is that Eastern or Pacific time?

What's Long and Hard and full of s**...?

The Pacific theatre of WW2!

If pirates from the Pacific North West say "Shiver me timbers!", what do pirates from Iowa say?

"Shiver me kernels!"

Dolphins give the worst directions

I always have to ask them to be more Pacific


Two tanker ships collided and sank in the southern Pacific Ocean yesterday. One was filled with red paint and the other, smaller tanker, was filled with blue paint. All crew members survived but now are marooned on an uninhabited island.

Did you hear what the Australian man said to his doctor when he learn he was saying "perscription" rather than "prescription" after all these years?

he said: ya gotta be more pacific mate!

A ship discovers a lost island in the South Pacific

To their surprise, the ship's company find the remains of a shipwreck there, a couple of decades old, and a single survivor, a Welsh mariner who has busied himself building an exact replica of a Welsh village, complete with a town hall, a pub, a rugby pitch, and two chapels.
"...Two chapels?" asks the ship's captain, and the castaway's face darkens as he nods in the direction of one of the chapels: "That's the one I don't go to."

People in glass houses...

A pacific island tribal king was infamous for conquering surrounding islands and stealing the defeated king's throne, and then stowing it, like a trophy, in the attic of his grass hut.
One day when sitting on his throne in said grass hut, the ceiling collapses under the weight of his trophies and the king is killed.
Which goes to prove that people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

I visited a cannibal restaurant during my time in the South Pacific.

On the menu I saw there was m**... soup for $5. Below it was politician soup for $1000.
So I asked the waiter, "why's the politician soup so expensive?"
And he said to me "you ever tried to clean one of the b**...?"

A man and his friend were talking about their New Year's Resolutions.

Friend: I heard you set some really tough resolutions, have you completed them?
Man: Well of course! I've swam across the Pacific Ocean in only speedos.
Friend: Neat.
Man: Scaled Mount Everest n**...!
Friend, a bit skeptical: Really?
Man: Well, there is one I still haven't completed.
Friend: And that is?
Man: Break my habit of lying......

Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.
Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Hawaii.
Chuck can light ants on fire with a magnifying night.
When Chuck is in Rome, they do what HE does.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questions why.

A russian nuclear rocket

Goes from Russia to America.
Over the Pacific it meets an american nuclear rocket, going from America to Russia.
Russian rocket: "Let's go drink something".
American rocket: "Ok".
The russian rocket drinks wodka and the american rocket drinks whiskey.
The american rocket gets drunk and the russian rocket said: "Let me take you home".

A couple are on holiday on a pacific island...

When they arrive they hear a constant drum beat; the ask the taxi driver and he says "Drums must never stop!"
They get to the hotel and the drumming is still going, so they ask the cleaner and she says "Drums must never stop!"
The drums continue all night and the couple can't sleep. Exhausted, they storm down to reception and ask about the noise. "Drums must never stop!", says the concierge.
"But why?!" demand the couple.
"Because when drums stop... Bass solo begins!"

Pacific joke, What's the biggest thing that separates Jaguars from Leopards?

jokes about pacific