Ownership Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

One for him, two for her

A guy finds a lamp, rubs it and out pops a genie. The genie says, "I'll give you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double."

First, he wishes for a billion dollars. Voila, a billion dollars appears. In a distant place, his ex-wife has 2 billion dollars materialize.

Then, he wishes for ownership of a 100 square mile habitable island in the Caribbean. The deed appears in his hand. Simultaneously, his ex-wife is granted title to two islands.

He stops to think about his final wish, and is pissed that his ex is benefitting from his luck since she made his life a living hell.

"So, whatever I get, she gets double?"


"Scare me half to death."

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

I never really met my neighbors until they tried to sue me over the ownership of some property.

Turns out we had a lot in common.

Cat ownership is like the economy

50% of cats are owned by the top 1% of cat lovers

Your friend might secretly be a member of ISIS if...

You drop a horrendous fart and he claims ownership of it.

A corrupt politician manages to sneak a number of loopholes in to a new law that gave him ownership of several hotels in Seville and Valencia

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn decision

So this young girl gets pulled over....

And the police officer asks the girl for her license, she says she doesn't have one, he asks why and she says because she has a bunch of DUI charges. Then he says can I see your ownership. She says I don't have one, he asks why not? She says because it's not her car, he says who's is it? She says the guy that's all cut up in the trunk. He stands back and calls for back up. A few minutes later another police officer comes up and says what seems to be the problem. She says nothing officer why? He says can I see your license and she says sure of course officer. He says can I see your ownership and she says of course, he says can I see in your trunk, so she pops the trunk and it's empty. So he says why did you tell the other officer you had no license, she says I never said that I bet he told you I was speeding too

What are the funniest ownership jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Ownership? Well, here are the best Ownership puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Ownership pick up lines to share with friends.


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