Owls Jokes
52 owls jokes and hilarious owls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about owls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Owls Short Jokes
Short owls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The owls humour may include short birds prey jokes also.
- Cargo Owl Joke Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. owl go who. Car go beep beep.
- BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you is an owl?
ME: Who?
*everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°* - You want to know the worst thing about owls? It's the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
- What's the difference between a short sighted marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit..
- I said to my kid, Someone just told me that you're acting like an owl. My son: Who?
Me: Exactly. - A man walks into a store "I'd like to buy an owl."
"We don't sell owls here."
"Someone told me you did."
"Who?"
"I just heard one." - What's the difference between a bad marksman, and a constipated owl. One shoots but can't hit!
- I recently tried the fruitarian diet, where you can only eat things that fall from trees I only lasted a day. All I had was 3 apples and an owl.
- My website just crashed from a huge influx of traffic today... I wonder why so many people are interested in my superb owl, today of all days. I mean, he's really great and all, but he's just an owl.
- What's an owl's favourite drink? Hoot beer!
Sorry, I made this joke up when I was 5 and just wanted to share :P
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Owls One Liners
Which owls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with owls? I can suggest the ones about bird of prey and birds nests.
- I'm starting a club for night owls. Who's up for that?
- What do you call a wet baby owl? A moist owlette.
- Ornithologists in peru have discovered that owls hunt there in pairs They're Inca hoots.
- How long does an owl live? six and a half books.
- You wanna know who sounds like an owl?
- I'm out bird watching with sinead O'Connor.... so far it´s been 7 owls and 15 jays.
- What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom.
- Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs... It's because they're Inca hoots!
- I know someone who talks like an owl
- Knock Knock.. Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep. - Imagine how happy barn owls were .... when people finally started making barn.
- How long does it take for an owl to die? Six and a fifth books.
- So I told my girlfriend someone's out there making owl noises and she's like "who"
- What do you call a baby owl in the rain? A moist owlette
- What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray.
Playful Owls Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about owls you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pelican jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make owls pranks.
Why do owls not mate when it's raining?
Toowet Towoo
Why don't owls date in the rain?
Because it's too wet to woo
A squirrel and an owl are sitting on a tree branch, watching a farmer plow his field...
The owl looks at the squirrel, and doesn't say anything, because owls don't talk.
Then the owl eats the squirrel, because he's a bird of prey.
A man and a little girl walk into a forest...
...It's dark, gloomy with a slight bit of fog. The little girl grips the man's hand tightly as an owls hoot echoed through the rustling trees.
"I'm scared" said the little girl.
"You're scared?!" Said the man. "At least you don't have to walk back alone!"
Many ravens are called a congress...
Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a m**....
Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?
I didn't know owls were religious
Until someone told me they were a bird of pray
Why did two owls get arrested for the same crime?
They were in ca*hoots*.
What did the owl say to the squirrel?
Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.
An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below.
The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
Owls personally prefer the track list of Rock Band 2. Just a solid game.
A homicidal r**... is holding hands with a little girl.
They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to return by myself".
An owl and a squirrel are in a tree watching a farmer go by
The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.
Did you hear about the two owls who agreed to rob a bank together?
They were in co-hoots.
I don't care how great owls are
I'm not throwing some s**... party over a superb owl.
Why shouldn't you trust fake owls?
Because they tell you false-hoots
The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.
Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.
And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.
Who let the owls out?
Who Who Who Who?
Why did the Aztec owl not know what the other two owls were saying to each other?
They were Inca hoots
Where are owls that commit crimes sent as punishment?
Owlcatraz
It's dark, gloomy with a slight bit of fog. The little girl grips the man's hand tightly as an owls hoot echoed through the rustling trees...
"I'm scared" said the little girl.
"You're scared?!" Said the man. "At least you don't have to walk back alone!"
Knock knock
- Who's there?
- Owls
- Owls who?
- Yeah, they do
From my son: "knock knock"
"who's there"
"owls say"
"owls say who"
*meniacal smile*
Owls: I do not know What, Where, When, or Why
I only know who
What do you call people who observe owls reproducing?
A hornithologist.
Why don't night owls ever cry at funerals?
They just aren't mourning people
Knock knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls Who?
That's Right!!!!
What did the owls name their band?
The Who
From my 5 year old to her mother the other morning: My wife told my little girl that owls are nocturnal.
With a (well duh) face my daughter looked at my wife and said, " I know that mommy! Owls are not turtles! They're birds!"
My little girl got me to spit coffee with her snap back to my wife!
Why did Kim Jong Un kill all the owls in North Korea?
Because they all kept repeating "Coup, Coup."
A guy walks into a bar
"Haven't seen you in a while. Did you have a good Halloween?" the bartender asks. "Sure did. My wife and I dressed up as Peruvian Owls," the guy tells the bartender. "We were Inca hoots."