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Owl Jokes

141 owl jokes and hilarious owl puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about owl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

These hilarious owl jokes are perfect for birthday celebrations and bird lovers alike! Learn some fun facts about owls and laugh at hilarious owl puns and jokes about their place in the avian order. Laugh the night away with these awesome and hilarious owl jokes.

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Funniest Owl Short Jokes

Short owl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The owl humour may include short hoot jokes also.

  1. Cargo Owl Joke Knock, knock...
    Who's there?
    Cargo.
    Cargo who?
    Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.
  2. BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you is an owl?
    ME: Who?
    *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
  3. You want to know the worst thing about owls? It's the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
  4. What's the difference between a short sighted marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit..
  5. I said to my kid, Someone just told me that you're acting like an owl. My son: Who?
    Me: Exactly.
  6. A man walks into a store "I'd like to buy an owl."
    "We don't sell owls here."
    "Someone told me you did."
    "Who?"
    "I just heard one."
  7. What's the difference between a bad marksman, and a constipated owl. One shoots but can't hit!
  8. I recently tried the fruitarian diet, where you can only eat things that fall from trees I only lasted a day. All I had was 3 apples and an owl.
  9. My website just crashed from a huge influx of traffic today... I wonder why so many people are interested in my superb owl, today of all days. I mean, he's really great and all, but he's just an owl.
  10. What's an owl's favourite drink? Hoot beer!
    Sorry, I made this joke up when I was 5 and just wanted to share :P

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Owl One Liners

Which owl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with owl? I can suggest the ones about woodpecker and crow.

  1. I'm starting a club for night owls. Who's up for that?
  2. What do you call a wet baby owl? A moist owlette.
  3. Ornithologists in peru have discovered that owls hunt there in pairs They're Inca hoots.
  4. How long does an owl live? six and a half books.
  5. You wanna know who sounds like an owl?
  6. I'm out bird watching with sinead O'Connor.... so far it´s been 7 owls and 15 jays.
  7. What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom.
  8. Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs... It's because they're Inca hoots!
  9. I know someone who talks like an owl
  10. Knock Knock.. Who's there?
    Cargo.
    Cargo who?
    Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.
  11. Imagine how happy barn owls were .... when people finally started making barn.
  12. How long does it take for an owl to die? Six and a fifth books.
  13. So I told my girlfriend someone's out there making owl noises and she's like "who"
  14. What do you call a baby owl in the rain? A moist owlette
  15. What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray.

Spotted Owl Jokes

Here is a list of funny spotted owl jokes and even better spotted owl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • And then there was the male spotted owl who told his wife, "What do you mean you have a headache? We're an endangered species!"
  • There has been a new owl spotted in England... It's called the t**....

Owl Knock Knock Jokes

Here is a list of funny owl knock knock jokes and even better owl knock knock puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • From my son: "knock knock" "who's there"
    "owls say"
    "owls say who"
    *meniacal smile*
  • Knock knock Who's there?
    Owls
    Owls Who?
    That's Right!!!!
  • Knock knock - Who's there?
    - Owls
    - Owls who?
    - Yeah, they do
  • HOOT HOOT Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Owl.
    Owl who?
    Whoo? Whoo! Hoo...hoooh hoo!
  • PIGS FLY Knock! Knock!
    Who's there?
    Oink oink.
    Oink oink who?
    Make up your mind—are you a pig, or an owl?!
  • Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Owls say.
    Owls say who?
    Yep, that they do.

Barn Owl Jokes

Here is a list of funny barn owl jokes and even better barn owl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A friend of mine has nocturnal birds of prey nesting in his barn. I'm getting owl-ly updates.
  • What did Dj Khaled say to the barn owl? You talonted
  • Where in Russia did the barn owl live? In Barnaul.
  • I said to this barn owl, I said I've just got engaged. He said, you twit to who?

Silly & Ridiculous Owl Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about owl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean twit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make owl pranks.

What's the difference between a s**... with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh*t

Three mice are arguing whether the holes are part of the cheese or not.

The one that thought they WERE went to the wise old owl for advice. When he got back, the cheese was gone. He asked the other two mice:
"What happened to the cheese?"
They replied:
"We decided to agree with you, so we split the cheese into thirds, and your third happened to be the holes."

what's the difference between....

A bad marksmen and a constipated owl?
One Shoots and can't hit and one hoots and can't s**...

What's the difference between a s**... with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but doesn't hit and the other hoots but doesn't s**....

The thing about bird jokes are...

sometimes they're hard to s**....
Owl let myself out.

Whats the difference between a blind s**... and a constipated owl

One shoots and cant hit...

Did you hear about the cursed night bird that lives in the reservoir?

Well owl be d**....

What do you call a baby owl that gets caught in a light rain?

A moist owlet.

I saw a baby owl caught in the rain.

It was a moist owlet.

What do a bent gun barrel and a constipated owl have in common?

One shoots but can't hit, and the other hoots but can't sh*t.

I'm sorry if this is slightly off topic. I was wondering if someone could help me. I'm trying to remember a joke about an owl.

All I remember is the punchline was a hoot.

Its 1848 and two hunters from Boston are on a buffalo hunting expedition. They've hired the famous Blackfoot tracker, Grey Owl to track and locate buffalo for them.

As they follow Grey Owl's trail, they catch sight of him just ahead.
Grey Owl has his ear to the ground, and as the two hunters get close he says, "Three wagons, each pulled by four oxen pass this spot 20 minutes ago!"
The hunters are blown away! This is amazing! One of them asks, "Can you tell all of that just from listening to the ground?!"
"No", says Grey Owl, "As I listen for buffalo, the b**... ran me over."

I don't care how great owls are

I'm not throwing some s**... party over a superb owl.

What do you call a magic owl?

HOOdini

An owl told me a joke

It was a hoot.

What's the average lifespan of an owl?

About six and a half books.

A man and his pet owl go to the bar together

They had a hoot.

What do you call an owl that does magic?

Hooooooo-dini!

What do you call a baby owl that just had a bath?

A moist owlet.

What's the difference between a hoedown and a hootenanny?

One's when your p**... falls on the floor, and the other is when your babbysitter is making owl sounds.

What is the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

The poor marksman can shoot all he wants, but he won't hit anything. The constipated owl can hoot all he wants...

I got a pet owl named Robin.

Robin Hoo-d.

Why did the priest buy an owl for his church?

Because it's a bird of prey

What do owls say when they're introduced?

Howl do you do?

I tried being a fruitarian

I tried being a fruitarian, it is where you only eat things that have fallen from trees. I only lasted one day. All I ate was 3 apples and an owl. (Joe Lycett)

Why didn't the night owl go to the f**...?

He wasn't a mourning person

Joker: "Someone said you sound like an owl more than a bat"

Bat: "WHO?"

I'm like a dead owl...

I just don't give a hoot anymore.

A nocturnal bird was supposed to meet me here an hour ago.

It's okay - owl wait.

My son just told me that someone said I sound like an owl

I said, who?

Last night I dreamt I was an owl.

It was a hoot.

What does a narcissistic owl say?

A: Me. Me. Me.

Somebody said you sound like an owl

What do you get when you cross an early bird and a night owl?

Shut the f up, I only got 2 hours of sleep last night!

My neigbours kid just said this after finding an owl decoration

What do you call a owl that is good at science,
Owlbert Einstein.

An owl has taken control of my elderly mothers estate recently

I guess that's the power of a tawny

What did the farsighted Owl say to it's nearsighted trainer?

Who?

My pastor announced that someone in our congregation is possessed by an owl.

All I can think is: Who? Who?!

I've been working on my comedy routine and I think it's a real hoot...

Owl see myself out

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

What kind of bird becomes fluffy and absorbent if you put tea in front of it?

An owl.

I tried being a fruitarian

That's where you can only eat things that have fallen off trees.
I managed one day, I had 3 apples and an owl

Sleep joke

Why be an early bird or night owl when you can just be an insomniac and get the best of both worlds.

An owl and a squirrel are in a tree watching a farmer go by

The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

What do you call an owl that can travel through time?

Doctor Hoo

How long does an owl live?

About 6 1/2 books

An owl was investigated as a suspect in the serial murders of eight random individuals in under a year

But the case went cold after repeatedly insisting it didn't know the victims' names.

What is the most common Owl in the UK?

The TeatOwl of course;)

What kind of owl can you find by the shower?

A towel

Did you hear about the California owl conspiracy network?

They're calling themselves the "ca-hoots".

What do you call a Mexican Owl?

Hoolio

Whats red and white and sits in a tree?

A sanitary owl

Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl.

Boy: Who?

If you ever see an baby owl in a toilet don't flush...

Because you aren't supposed to flush moist owelettes.

What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.

There is an owl among us..

Friend: Who?
Me: Exactly, we have to be careful.. wait a second

"Hey, I heard somebody called you an owl today."

Who?

So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"

The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."

If you know then you know

Have you heard of the gay guy that makes owl noises?

How long does an owl live?

About 6 and a half books.

A man is caught feasting on a Bald Eagle by a park ranger.

He is taken to court and the judge asks him why he committed this crime.
The man replies I had no other choice and this was my only way of survival.
Given the circumstances, the judge decides that this man is telling the truth and let's him off the case. But being curious, the judge asks Well, how did it taste like?
The man replied Have you ever had Spotted Owl?

What does a blonde owl say?

Why!

What is the average lifespan of an owl?

A little over 6 books.

What do you call an owl escapologist?

The great Hootini

jokes about owl