The Best 70 Overweight Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Overweight jokes. There are some overweight butterball jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these overweight anorexia puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Overweight Jokes and Puns

Skip a Day

During an annual physical, a doctor tells his overweight patient, "You need to lose some weight, so try this diet. I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, I expect you will have lost five to ten pounds."

When the man returns, he's lost over 20 pounds. The doctor says. "Great job, did you follow my instructions?"

The man nods "I did, but I thought was going to drop dead every third day."

"From hunger?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

Did you hear about the overweight, alcoholic transvestite?

He liked to eat, drink, and be Mary.

What do you call an overweight hobbit's belly?

His Middle Girth

Overweight joke, What do you call an overweight hobbit's belly?

My former roommate was overweight so he asked me for a diet idea. I told him to stop eating after 8 PM.

He had dinner at 7 PM that day, and died of starvation a few days later.

A new test was conducted to study how fat Americans are getting; the test results are as follows:

60% are deemed overweight

30% are deemed morbidly obese

10% ate the test


I go to the Jim every morning

Are you thin? Are you overweight? Are you fighting the battle of the bulge? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle? Are you plain lazy? Do you have someone or the other always telling you to go to the gym?

Here's something for you...

"Instead of calling my bathroom the John, I call it the Jim.
That way it sounds a lot better when I tell people I go to the Jim first thing every morning :-)"

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people.

So overweight people are now average, which means you have met your New Year's resolution.

Happy new year!

Overweight joke, Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people.

An overweight woman decided to start walking her dog to get exercise...

She stopped after realizing the effort it took to steer her scooter.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

You know what is blown out of proportions?

Overweight suicide bombers.

Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest?

Turns out he was just a bit shy.

You can explore overweight sugarcoat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean overweight obese dad jokes. There are also overweight puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call an overweight homosexual?

Jigglypuff.

What do you call an overweight psychic?

A four-chin teller.

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer

than the men who mention it

A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...

and says to them:

"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"

Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"

As an overweight guy, I love science.

It teaches me that I matter more.

Overweight joke, As an overweight guy, I love science.

How does a feminist know she's overweight?

She doesn't

Never make fun of an overweight person with a lisp.

They're probably thick and tired of it.

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump race around the White House

The slightly younger and less overweight Hillary managed to win this one, and this is the response from major news networks:

NBC: "Hillary Clinton wins the race, while Donald Trump comes in last!"

FOX: "Donald Trump takes second place in the race, while Hillary Clinton only manages to beat one contestant!"


What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract?

One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.

Did you hear about the overweight terrorist?

His dying words were "Allahu snack bar!"

I told an overweight joke the other day

A woman came up to me afterwards and said "You're fattist"

I looked her and said "actually....

What do you call an overweight bounty hunter?

Boba Fat

Why did the overweight actor fall through the theater floor?

It was just a stage he was going through

I am a man of many tastes...

Unfortunately that's why I'm overweight

I before E

Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.

Studies have shown that women who are overweight

Are more likely to outlive men that mention it.

I went to see my doctor, and he told me I was overweight.

I said, "I want a second opinion."

He said, "Alright. You're ugly."

My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party..

I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.

What do you call an overweight crossdresser?

Trans fat.

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

News: Trump would be honoured to meet North Korean dictator.

He's my kind of guy — crazy, overweight and has a ridiculous haircut. Said North Korea's dictator.

You're also ugly.

Doctor: You're overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion. Doctor: You're also ugly.

I set up a restaurant for overweight people

I'm trying to cater for a wide audience

How NOT to cheer up your overweight girlfriend

My girlfriend was sad one day, and exclaimed "I look like a huge whale".

Being the compassionate caring man that I am, I said "no you don't, you're more like a medium-sized seal".

To my surprise she was not amused, or comforted.

A slightly overweight transgendered person walks into a health food store

the manager instantly runs up and tells her to leave the store, "why?" she asks confusedly, the manager points angrily at a sign on the door

"No trans fats"

(I dont mean to offend anyone, I just heard this from a trans friend.)

Overweight

My doctor said I am overweight, I asked for a 2nd opinion. He said you're f**king ugly as well.

A man walks into a pub in Wales....

And sees two overweight women sitting at the bar. He approaches them, and asks Are you two girls from Britain? . To this, one of the women reply sternly It's Wales you idiot! . So, the man excuses himself, and asks them again: Sorry, are you two whales from Britain?

I have winter to thank for making me the man I am today.

Depressed and 20 pounds overweight.

My girlfriend said "Can you compliment me for once?"

She's rather overweight so I said "Don't be sad when people call you fat, you're bigger than that."

Studies show that women that are overweight tend to live longer

Or at least longer than the men that point it out.

A guy walks into a bike store with his overweight wife

He tells the clerk, I'd like a bicycle built for two, and one for me.

What's the difference between LSD sold by an overweight transgender person and a food that raises bad cholesterol?

Nothing. They're both **trans fatty acid**.

What do you call and overweight Alien?

An extra-cholesterol

What is the name of a place full of overweight people?

Obe-city

A new survey claims that 74% of Louisiana households are now considered overweight

The rest just don't see it as a problem.

What do you call an overweight baby?

Heavy infantry

Why do you never trust overweight female drug dealers?

Because they always cell-u-lite

I had a great father figure growing up

I was Overweight and balding, school was tough :(

My roommate took his dog to the vet this morning and they told him that he was overweight.

And to make it worse, they said the dog is overweight too.

A very overweight man walks into a hospital and asks to book an appointment for lipo suction

The doctor replied: 'I'll see if I can squeeze you in.'

What do you call an overweight Cajun conman?

A jumbo liar.

Credit to my boyfriend who is exceptionally punny.

Overweight gold diggers remind me of tech support

They're always trying to clear out your cookies and cache

They arrested the overweight soap maker

Apparently he was a big fat lyer.

I offered to give my daughter a lift to school.

"Come on," said my wife, "she's big enough to take the bus by herself."

I said, "That's harsh. She's not *that* overweight."

My overweight uncle spend months making a belt out of used pocket watches.

When he finished it, he realized it was a huge waist of time.

I went to the doctor today for a checkup and he showed me on a chart that I'm 20 pounds overweight.

But, I pointed out that using his very same data, *I'm not overweight.* I just need to be 3 inches taller.

I used to be overweight.

A few years ago, I was waiting in line at a bank. There was a mother and her little boy in line behind me. The little boy asked, "Hey Mister, how come you are so fat?"

I looked at him and replied, "Well, every time I fu\*\*ed your mother, she gave me a Cookie."

Why Kim Jong-Un is overweight?

Because he never had to run for office.

You burn 26 calories a minute kissing.

That's probably why I'm overweight.

When your wife is complaining about looking overweight...

It's probably best to steer clear of saying, oh honey, lighten up.

Thanks to COVID-19, this is the first year I've not been able to run the London Marathon owing to lockdown.

Every other year it's been because I'm overweight, can't run, and am too lazy to even try.

An overweight criminal takes a lie detector test to prove his innocence.

This is the cops' last chance to prove his guilt.

They hook him up to the detector and tell him, "First we will ask you an obvious question and you must lie. If the machine registers your lie we will ask you about the crime and you will go to jail. If it does not you are free to leave."

"I understand." He says.

"Everyone in this room is fit except you. Do you think you are the lightest?" They ask.

He says, "Sir, I am closer to the lie test than any of you."

What do you call an overweight kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?

A meaty-urologist

An overweight man goes to the doctor

The doctor says sir we need to talk about your weight. It's been a growing concern and I'm afraid if it gets worse, you'll have some major heart issues. I think it's time we talk about a way for you to lose some weight fast. Would you like to hear about liposuction?

The man goes please, enlighten me

My company recently had to let go of an overweight employee

he didn't work out

Blonde Overweight

A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"

Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight

These, of course, are only round figures

I know a film director that only hires overweight actors and actresses, even if they're terrible.

I think it's flabbercasting.

What is the best country for overweight people?

Bulge-area

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the overweight dietician jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working overweight overweight blonde piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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