Overnight Jokes
76 overnight jokes and hilarious overnight puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about overnight that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for some laughs to get through your overnight shift or camp? Read this article for overnight jokes from a variety of topics, from bunk beds to unexpectedly awakening. Whether you are in an urgent situation or need some comedic relief, this article has something for everyone!
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Funniest Overnight Short Jokes
Short overnight jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The overnight humour may include short overtime jokes also.
- Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
- Imagine if the rest of the world changed from Kilograms to Pounds overnight There would be a mass confusion
- Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight. That would cause mass confusion.
- I had a ford Fiesta once, then I left my prescription of Adderall in the glove box overnight, when I came out in the morning, I had a ford Focus.
- LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight. When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
- Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
" I lost 75 OVERNIGHT because of this ONE SIMPLE TRICK! ." - It snowed overnight. I told my wife to go outside and shovel the steps. All I got was icy stares.
- I got my student loans down from 100k to 50k overnight with this super easy life hack. Divorce
- We need to start investing more in solar energy But it's not just going to happen overnight
- My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He's Costa-phobic.
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Overnight One Liners
Which overnight one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with overnight? I can suggest the ones about early morning and weekend.
- Qassem Soleimani is so popular today. I mean he just blew up overnight.
- I woke up this morning to find that overnight I'd changed into a cat. Don't ask meow...
- Did you hear about the village that moved away overnight? It was unsettling.
- How do you steal an entire flight of stairs overnight? One step at a time.
- What happens if America switches from pounds to kilograms overnight? A mass confusion.
- I'm only half Jewish when it comes to summer camp I went to day camp not overnight
- Why is a woman's brain the size of a pea when she wakes up? It swells overnight.
- Overnight I became a sun worshipper
- What do you call a mooner on the last overnight flight? A red-eye
- Brexit was a great diet plan ...because everyone in the UK lost a few pounds overnight.
- Wanna save time on sleep ? Work overnight jobs.
- What do you call a skeleton who has been sitting out in the snow overnight? A numbskull
- Did you hear about the t**... that took steroids? He blew up overnight.
- It's not difficult to be an insomniac **I became one overnight.**
- What do you call an overnight s**... pact? A hangover.
Overnight Camp Jokes
Here is a list of funny overnight camp jokes and even better overnight camp puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I'm trying to open a chain of outdoor, overnight facilities to help children overcome symptoms of ADHD. Unfortunately I'm having trouble getting the bank to approve a loan for concentration camps.
- What did the bishop say to a large group of priest at the overnight camp for young boys? 'Let us prey.'
Overnight Shift Jokes
Here is a list of funny overnight shift jokes and even better overnight shift puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Working the overnight shift is so tedious and boring Every time I go in it's the same shift, different day.
The Funniest Overnight Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about overnight you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 24 hour jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make overnight pranks.
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
A Pakistani living in England (offensive)
A pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human f**... and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.
Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
So someone dropped a Chinese baby in a toilet?
My advice is to pop it in a bag of rice overnight...
I inherited some land recently and managed to buy 100 donkeys for £100...
...I planned on selling them one by one for a profit, but overnight some sick guy broke into my farm and cut all the donkeys tails off! Now I'm left with 100 donkeys with no tails, so I'm going to have to wholesale them!
(ask me why I have to wholesale them...)
Well I can't retail them can I?!
1.What is Bruce Lee's favorite beverage?
WATAAAH!
2.What is Bruce Lee's favorite hamburger?
WHOPPAH!
3.Which hotel does Bruce Lee stay overnight?
HYAAAAATT!
s**... is like a snowstorm...
s**... is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10" overnight you are *not* moving the next day.
How do you become a millionaire overnight?
Start off a billionaire then make a bunch of bad investments.
LPT: If you accidentally get your phone wet, leave it inside a bag of rice overnight.
At night, the rice will attract Asians who will come and fix your phone for you.
If you get your phone wet, put it in a bag of rice overnight
Eventually an Asian will come and fix it
LPT - If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of uncooked rice overnight.
The rice will attract Asian people who will then fix your phone.
Tried, tested, true
If your phone gets wet, leave it overnight in a bag of rice.
It'll attract an Asian, who will fix it.
Three guys get trapped in an elevator overnight.
They accept their fate and decide to sleep facing up. When they wake up, the guy on the left says "I had an awesome dream I got a h**...."
The guy on the right says "I had the same dream."
The guy in the middle says "I had a dream I went skiing."
George Carlin:"Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?"
"What if I want something that works violently right now?"
People are like snowflakes.
If you crush them into a ball and leave them in your freezer overnight, they're dangerous to throw at other people.
Two alligators were murdered overnight in the swamp
Looks like we need an investagator to find out the culprit.
Do you know why the USSR fell nearly overnight?
Because they stopped Stalin and were Russian!
My Friend Shipped Me To Egypt Overnight
I can't believe it! Its been two days and I'm still in De-Nile.
Wet phone solution.
Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.
Did you hear about the guy that robbed the clock store overnight?
He surely took his time.
Anyone want to weigh in?
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, would it create mass confusion?
I dumped my girlfriend last night
She just locked herself away and changed overnight. She never was the same.
Never dating a Caterpillar again.
I left my chicken feed out in the rain and it turmed into porridge overnight.
Could I be accused of gruelty to animals?
Imagine if Americans switched from feet to meters overnight...
That would be a lengthy conversion
Mental hospital...
A man is brought into a mental hospital late one night, who claims to be Napoleon Bonaparte. Turns out, there is another patient there who also believes he is Napoleon, but is also flamboyantly gay. The director thinks it will be interesting to House them together overnight and see what happens.
In the morning, the director approached the gay Napoleon:
Who are you, Sir?
(Heavy French accent) How do you not know that I am the great, Napoleon Bonaparte?!?
OK.
He then asks the new patient- And who are you?
Sacre' bleu! You do not recognize Josephine, zee queen?!?
An orchard was stripped of all its apples overnight.
Police say their initial investigations have proved fruitless.
Wifi password
I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer to the hotel lounge to do some work. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What's the WiFi password?"
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a beer.
Bartender: We have Molson's Canadian on tap.
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $8.00.
Me: Okay, here you go. What's the WiFi password?
Bartender: "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst" -- no spaces and all lowercase.
If the US switched from the standard measurement system to metric overnight,
there would be mass confusion.
School Essay Test
A teacher says to her class Tomorrow morning there will be a set essay writing exam. You are all to be on your best form and well rested overnight
One lad pipes up with a smirk What if we are suffering from severe s**... exhaustion Miss?
Well, she replies you'll just have to try to write with your other hand!
Did you hear about the guy who left his phone charging overnight?
It overcharged, caught fire and burned the house down.
He was arrested on charges of battery.
What do you do if you accidentally get your pet snake wet?
Put it in a bowl of mice overnight.
In tonight's news...
Seattle police were astonished to find that all the toilets in the central precinct had been stolen overnight.
When asked about suspects, the Chief stated that they have nothing to go on.
There was a mohel who had the odd habit of keeping the foreskins in a box in a closet.
One day he noticed that they'd naturally tanned into very supple leather, so he took the boxful to a bag maker, to see if anything could be done with them. The craftsman told him to return in a month.
When he did, he was presented with a shaving kit.
"All of that leather, and this was all you could make of it?!"
"Well, it may be a shaving kit now, but if you rub it a bit, it becomes an overnight bag, and if you rub it a lot, it becomes a two-suiter."
My online coffee bean order wasn't eligible for overnight delivery.
They told me they only ship ground.
