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Overheard Jokes

113 overheard jokes and hilarious overheard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about overheard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Overheard Short Jokes

Short overheard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The overheard humour may include short overhears jokes also.

  1. I overheard two of my friends talking about me the other day... I said "you disgust me"
    "Yes, we did" they replied.
  2. I overheard my wife singing in the shower. "You should go on America's Got talent," I told her.
    "I can't sing," she replied.
    I said, "Exactly."
  3. Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
    Teenage boy: "October 12th."
    Employee: "What year?"
    Boy: "Every year."
  4. I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low'
  5. I wonder if mormons support the transgendered? If they did, they could go on a transmission!
    -- authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast
  6. I think my doctor really likes my choice of sensible footwear… I overheard him telling his colleague that I had, "Serious healthy shoes."
  7. Hear the one about the miscarriage? I overheard it yesterday. The joke was funny but the delivery was all wrong
  8. Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault
  9. I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert. That's all, she was completely serious.
  10. I was at Walgreens this morning and I overheard an 80+ year old man tell a joke to the cashier. You know the thing about dating now is... I never get to meet their parents!

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Overheard One Liners

Which overheard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with overheard? I can suggest the ones about gossip and whispered.

  1. Overheard at a gay bar "Let me push that stool in for you"
  2. Overheard in the nucleus… Q: Are you sure you're a proton?
    A: Yes, I'm positive.
  3. So I just overheard my mom ask my dad for a sip of wine. His response: Ok, Mississippi.
  4. Overheard on the o**... black market "Got awful grammar? Buy this colon!"

Overheard joke, Overheard on the o**... black market

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about overheard can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of overheard puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Unearthly Funniest Overheard Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about overheard you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean hears jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make overheard prank.

Why did the Stock Broker quit his job to become a Baker?

He overheard some great advice. "BUY DOUGH, SELL PIE!"
....I'll see myself out.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

So a man walks in to a CVS..

and he goes to the female cashier and asks how he can know what size c**... he should wear. She tells him to step behind the counter, she unzips his pants, gives him a few tugs and says "Medium". He buys his condoms and tells his buddy "Hey, there's this girl at the CVS who can guess your c**... size just by looking!". His buddy, being a 'skeptic' goes and checks it out. She follows the same routine and says "large". He calls his friend when he gets home and is ecstatic. His 14 year old brother overheard the conversation and decided to 'try it out' for himself. So he goes to the CVS and asks the cashier what size c**... he is, she asks him behind the counter, gives him a few tugs and says "Clean up on register 5!".
**tl;dr - h**....**

Plane Ride

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

At the State Fair....

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal.I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word it's ten dollars! "
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over and over again, but still not a word. They tierra and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but like Martha always said, ten dollars is ten dollars."

I overheard a girl talking on her phone today

She was telling her friend she doesn't like having s**... with extroverted guys because they talk too much during.
I didn't go up and introduce myself but I don't think she got the message.

Overheard this at Grand Canyon.

"Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:" To protect the chicken plants"

So there were two larger girls at the bar...

I went to the bar and overheard two heavy girls talking with an odd accent.
I asked them, 'Are you two ladies from Scotland?'
One turned to me and said, 'It's Wales, you idiot!'
'Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?'

I overheard my 14 year old daughter telling this joke to a friend.

-"Every time I say something, you say the word addicted"

-"ok"
-"Drugs"
-"Addicted"
-"Alcohol"
-"Addicted"
-"What slapped you across the face last night? "
" Addicted"

I overheard some guy tell his sweet, old grandmother a joke about click-bait at her deathbed. What happened to her as a result will change your life forever!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.
Stop clicking on click-bait!
(note/edit/whatever: I know this joke is a big gamble in terms of possible downvotes, but I just made it up and thought it was too good to not share with at least 1 person that might like it. Happy belated Halloween. I guess I chose trick.).

Breakfast Wife

(Overheard at work)
I was eating breakfast at a dinner with the old lady when the man at the next booth says to his wife, "Please pass the sugar, sugar".
A short time later at the booth on the opposite side of me, the man says to his wife, "Please pass the honey, honey".
Annoyed, my wife says to me "How come you never talk sweet to me like that?"
"Ok", I say, "Please pass the bacon, pig."

What has 52 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper. I overheard my grandpa tell that joke as a kid and it always made me laugh.

Why Santa got involved with Christmas

Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.

Overheard this one from some old guys getting changed at my local gym.

"So I go to the pharmacy and ask the guy if they have any Viagara. The guy there says yes, so I ask if they work and he replies 'you bet'. So next I ask "can I get it over the counter" to which he replies 'if you take two' "

80-year-old's joke overheard at Costco food court

Have you ever seen geese flying in a v formation? Often one side of the v will be longer than the other. Do you know why?
...
There are more geese on that side of the v.
---
This old man was dropping tons of jokes in the Costco food court. A few were pretty funny.

I'm officially putting my GPA up for adoption...

I just can't raise it myself
[joke credit to the girl I overheard say it in the library]

Overheard my boss say this to our secretary..

What's the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?
One is a snack c**..., the other is a crack snacker.

The VA Doctors don't appreciate the nurses there. (Overheard this great joke while visiting Grandpa)

What is the difference between a VA nurse and a bullet?
* A bullet can draw blood
* A bullet can be fired
* A bullet can only kill one person

So my foreign professor overheard some attractive girls talking about how they like it long and hard.

The exam the next morning s**....

I overheard a work colleague saying they are going to a fancy dress party as a small island of the coast of Italy

I said don't be Sicily

I was on the beach with my wife.

"My business is failing, nobody is buying my product," I told her.
An old man, who was completely n**..., overheard and walked over. He said, "That's interesting."
"You are completely n**...," I frowned, "There are children on this beach."
He said, "Well at least I know my target market."

Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny

>Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education.
Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education?
Dude2: You dont want to do that.
Dude1: Why?
Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?

LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have s**... if there is a risk of being overheard.

Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season.

I overheard a v**... couple talk...

... about how they needed to start seeing other peepholes.

I overheard a guy complaining angrily about the NSA tracking him

Some people are so annoying when they have a chip on their shoulder.

Why do you keep saying flail?

Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary.
-------
Overheard on the train.

I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat.

So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious

An egoist, a feminist and a Socialist walk into a bar...

An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar.
The bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, "You guys would be great presidential candidates." They took him seriously...
...apparently America did too.

My neighbor started yelling at my parents randomly

It turns out that ten years and eight months ago my parents broke his bed and never repaid him. I overheard my dad screaming and he said,"Oh we should pay you? You're lucky we aren't taking you to court! That accident happened on YOUR property!" I didn't know what he ment, so I just shrugged and blew out my candles.

Overheard at a Whole Foods Billing counter

"Now I'm going to read the numbers in the barcode and you type them in your register...I don't want those carcinogenic lasers touch my food"

For some silly reason my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair...

I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd be 'balled' soon

Overheard at Starbucks:

Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte?
Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange.

Just overheard a young boy tell his friend this joke

What do you call a corn dog with no legs?
A *corn dog*, s**...! Corn dogs don't have legs!

I overheard a gentleman saying he grew up with Drew Brees, and that he wasn't a very nice person...

I said, "Hey! Drew Brees is a *Saint!*"

A boy tells his father that humans are cruel

"Hmm okay, but why?" asked the father.
"Well some people out there are hanging horses" said the son.
The father let out a confused chuckle, "What do you mean people are hanging horses?!"
The son tells him "well I overheard mum telling her friend that the plumber who came over to fix the drain pipes was hung like a horse."

I overheard my mum and dad arguing about who had blocked the toilet.

I tried to resolve the situation, but I wish I hadn't stuck my nose in.

Overheard a girl at the bar saying she wanted someone to sweep her off her feet...

So I swept the leg.

A fellow was boasting that he was born an Englishman and would die an Englishman.

A passing Scot overheard and stopped to ask,
"Dear God, man, have ye no ambition?!"

Cafe Chit Chat

At a local cafe, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night! An old granny overheard and spoke up, Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!

I saw two women in a passionate conversation.

"How on earth did *he* get between *them*?" I overheard one of them say.
I said, "I guess the 't' and 'm' made room."

Overheard at the Gynecologist Office:

A blonde, a brunette & red head are waiting to be seen at the Gynecologist office. All three are pregnant. They start talking to eachother about their babies.
Brunette: I'm going to have a boy because I was on top during s**....
Redhead: Well, I was on the bottom during s**... so I'm having a girl.
Blonde: Oh my God! I'm going to have puppies!!!

Not sure about this blonde moment...

Overheard at a coffee shop...
"... and the 3rd mistake was that he did it in the 1st place..."

Today I overheard a duck arguing with a plastic surgeon about money

Apparently he was trying to get his bill reduced.

i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke

Overheard at the White House:
Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."
Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."
Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".

A Colonel's wife was walking her dog in a military base.

She was pleased by the snappy salutes she received from a couple of soldiers who passed by.
The effect was lost when she overheard one soldier ask the other, "who is she?" and the other answered, "Don't know...but it is the colonel's dog!"

Overheard at work

"Stop messing around with the dust rag! You shouldn't play with the stuff you work with!"
"Someone didn't tell that to Bill Clinton."

So I was in the emergency room

and while I was waiting for the doctor to come back I overheard a couple nurses at the nurses' station discussing another ER patient's case.
Apparently this dude had come in complaining of r**... pain. They took an X-Ray and found at least 8 toy horses in his colon. It sounded serious, but they described his condition as stable.

A father is teaching his boy how to pee in the toilet.

"OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants.
2. Pull back your f**....
3. Pee in the toilet.
4. Put your f**... back.
5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".

Why does every state have 2 senators?

So that one can be the designated driver.
(overheard an old man at a garage sale telling this).

While helping some freshmen check into their dorms at our state college I overheard a couple of new co-eds rate me as a six.

It really saddens me that our public school systems are only teaching kids to count to six.

Overheard this in a bookstore

Guy 1: "Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?"
Guy 2: (After some thinking) "I don't know, what?"
Guy 1: "The outside."

A mother and her son are sitting in an airplane.

The kid looks up and asks, "Mommy? If big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"
Mom thinks to herself that he is too young and she doesn't want to get into this so she tells the boy, "Go ask the flight attendant; maybe she can answer that for you."
So, he walks up and asks, "Ma'am, if big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"
She had overheard the mother's attempt to pass this off and replies, "Tell your mom that I said it's because Southwest airlines always pulls out on time and have her explain that to you..."

Overheard in a Subway the other day...

The Subway girl turned to the guy in front of me in the queue and said "Footlong?"
He answered, "Look lady, you're very attractive, but I'm not bending it in half for anybody"

Overheard a conversation with the other guy saying "...good I might"

Couldn't help but wish the lad a good day as well.

I overheard a mermaid sitting behind me on the bus...

"I like to sit on the beach, but my other half likes to swim"

Why was the hospital patient feeling so self-conscious?

She overheard the doctors keep saying ICU.

When I overheard one of my cashiers tell a customer.

"We haven't had it for a while, and I doubt we'll be getting it soon," I quickly assured the customer that we would have whatever it was she wanted by next week. After she left, I read the cashier the riot act.
"Never tell the customer that we're out of anything. Tell them we'll have it next week," I instructed her. "Now, what did she want?"
"Rain."

Today I overheard a conversation between Bob and Alice.

Sadly I couldn't decipher what they were saying.

Human thought

A teacher is teaching the kids that there is nothing quicker than a human thought. All of a sudden, one of the kids gets up and says that she is wrong, so the teacher asks, "What could be quicker, then?"
The kid then says, "Well, last night I overheard my parents having s**... as I was passing by the bedroom. After a short while I heard my dad say, 'Shit, I came quicker than I thought.'"

I just saw the neighbor's kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat.

I'm thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn't supposed to...

The other day I overheard my wife on the phone with a taxidermist...

She kept going on about how she loved how he stuffed her b**....

I was talking about schools earlier today

Facebook apparently overheard and I found a great deal on AR-15's when I logged in later

I overheard a grown man call a trebuchet a catapult. I got really angry with him at first, but I learned something.

He weighed exactly 90kg.

There have been new allegations against Brett Kavanaugh.

He was overheard at a gas station un NJ saying, "I'd like to feel her up."

I overheard people talking about a young girl who could control things with her mind.

I asked my friend if he believed it. He said he's seen stranger things.

What's the difference between outlaws and in laws?

Outlaws are wanted.
(Overheard this at a restaurant tonight.)

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three women talking in what sounded like Scottish accent. So I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three ladies from Scotland? One of them turned red when she heard me and said, "It's Wales you fool! So I apologized and replied,

"I do apologise, Are you three whales from Scotland?"
cr

Overhearing my ex...

I once overheard my ex tell her best friend that I was a stalker.
Nearly made me mad enough to come out of her closet
and give her a piece of my mind.

Overheard joke, Overhearing my ex...

jokes about overheard

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these overheard jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.