Overboard Jokes
62 overboard jokes and hilarious overboard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about overboard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a few laughs, these man overboard jokes are sure to get the cruise ship laughing! From silly seaside settings to the party going ashore, your next cruise will be filled with laughter when you share these funny jokes!
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Funniest Overboard Short Jokes
Short overboard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The overboard humour may include short over the edge jokes also.
- My dad taught me to swim by rowing me to the middle of a lake and tossing me overboard... It was pretty easy once I got out of the bag!
- Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? So just in case they go overboard they can wash up on shore!
Arrrrgh - There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke? They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter
- I was going to tell you guys more jokes about the Titanic passengers but I think they've gone overboard
- Me and my friend were on a boat with 3 cigarettes but no lighter So we threw the 3rd cigarette overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter
- Mr.Rogers once was on a cruise ship, and fell overboard into the ocean
He was then carried safely to shore by a family of sharks. - Read this in a pirate voice Did ye hear what happened to Captain Bluebeard when he fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got Marooned! - A bunch of sailors on a boat want to have a smoke, but don't have any matches. So one sailor throws one of his cigarettes overboard, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
- If you have two cigarettes in a boat and throw one overboard… You have made the boat a cigarette lighter.
- When a man falls of a ship, you yell "Man Overboard". When a woman falls of a ship, you yell... Full speed ahead!
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Overboard One Liners
Which overboard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with overboard? I can suggest the ones about aboard and over the limit.
- Why did the black pirates jump overboard Because they heard the Sirens
- Why did the sailor get fired for cleaning the deck? ....he went overboard...
- Kevin Spacey fell overboard... And was found clinging to the bottom of a small buoy.
- What does a shark call a horse that fell overboard? Seabiscuit
- What did the oblivious asian sea captain say after his sailors washed overboard? No crew!
- What do your when a women fall overboard Full speed ahead
Happy Overboard Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about overboard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean overly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make overboard pranks.
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his.
They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew.
After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck."
"Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee."
His friend agreed that was bad luck.
The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off."
"My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye."
"My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?"
"No, that was the first day I had my hook."
3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them.
So they toss the 4th cigarette overboard, which makes the whole boat a cigarette lighter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This is the dirty joke my 85yo grandad told to our whole family by memory
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the b**..., but I absolutely refuse to s**... the s**...."
A Catholic bishop, a Hebrew rabbi and a Buddhist lama were sitting in a boat and fishing.
The rabbi looked at his watch and said: "Hey, it's lunch time, there's a restaurant on the shore, I'll go and eat there".
He stepped overboard and walked to the shore on the surface of the lake as if it was solid.
The lama watched him and said: "Yeah, I'll also go and have a lunch".
He also stepped overboard and walked on water to the shore.
The bishop sat in the boat confused. Finally he thought: "God, if a Hebrew and a Buddhist can walk on water then I also should be able to, just like Jesus did!"
He stepped overboard but just splashed into water.
The rabbi and the lama were watching him trying to climb back into the boat.
"Maybe we should've told him about those submerged poles and stones in the water," the rabbi said.
"What poles and stones?" the lama asked.
Retired
My friends that still work ask me frequently what I do every day, now that I'm retired. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and entered a shop; I wasn't there for even five minutes.
When I exited, a cop was filling out a ticket for double-parking. I quickly approached him and said, "Wow, officer! I didn't spend more than five minutes in the store! God would reward you if you made a kind gesture toward an old, retired man, such as myself." He completely ignored me and continued filling out the ticket.
The truth is, I went a little overboard, so I apologized. The cop looked at me coldly and started to fill out a second ticket, saying that besides being double-parked, my license plate was crooked. I then raised my voice and called him every name in the book. He finished the second ticket and placed it under the windshield wiper.
I didn't desist, and continued to insult him with all I had. To every insult, he smiled vengefully and filled out yet another ticket. After the fifteenth infraction, I told him, "I'm afraid I must leave you, officer - my bus has arrived!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A whale tale
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the b**..., but I absolutely refuse to s**... the s**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pirate at the local bar discusses his past.
A s**... meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The s**... notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The s**... asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the s**.... "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the s**.... "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A whale of a joke
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the b**..., but I absolutely refuse to s**... the s**...."
American, Japanese and Indonesian in China
There's an American, Japanese and Indonesian on a crew boat in China. The American lights up a cigarette with his zippo, and then throws the zippp into the sea. The Indonesian says "why you throw away your zippo? " the American replies "in America we have many zippos, I can get another one no problem". The Indonesian thinks this man is crazy. Then the Japanese checks the time on his casio watch, and after he throws the watch into the sea. "Why you do that" says the Indonesian. "In my country" replies the Japanese "we have many casio watches. I can replace no problem". Again the Indonesian thinks these two are both crazy.. Just then a Chinese man walks past and the Indonesian throws the man overboard. "Geez why did you do that! " replies the American. "You are crazy" says the Japanese. "No problem" replies the Indonesian "in my country we have many Chinese! "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian, a Mexican and an American are all on a boat...
The captain runs out yelling we're sinking we're sinking!! Everyone needs to throw something off the boat! The Italian says "We have too many of these in our country" and throws over pots of spaghetti . Mexican says "we have too many of these in country" and throws burritos over board. Finally the American says "We have too many of these in our country." Then he picks up the Mexican and throws him overboard.
Good ol' fashions racism.
Three fishermen
Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.
Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.
"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"
"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"
So the Polish guy found an ocean cruise for only $100...
His friend warned him that it was too good to be true, but he didn't listen. They sailed in the late afternoon, and right around dusk, someone conked him on the back of the head, took his wallet and dumped him overboard. Seeing a fellow passenger in the same predicament, he asked "Do they serve dinner on this cruise?"
The fellow replies "They didn't last year!"
4th of july
British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July.
When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea
Gone Fishin'
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns.
Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred say, "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple of whales.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the same side of the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him."What's the matter, Darling?"
"Look, Love," she said, "I went along with the b**..., but I absolutely refuse to s**... the s**...".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man overboard!
An Admiral was touring one of the ships in his fleet. After dinner, he ditched his escorts and walked along the weatherdecks. He came upon a s**..., and decided to ask a few questions to check the level of training aboard.
"Sailor," he asked, "what would you do if someone fell over the rail?"
"Officer or enlisted Sir?" was the instant reply.
"Um, okay, enlisted, uh, someone from your division. Yeah, one of your buds falls over the side, what would you do?"
"Call away 'Man Overboard,' toss a floatation device to him, stick by the rail and try to keep an eye on him while the ship turns and lookouts assemble. When a phone talker arrives, give information to the bridge to aid in the recovery."
"Okay, sailor, good answer. But I have to ask, what would you do if an officer fell over the side?"
The sailor leaned close, looked left and right, and asked, "Which one?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**...
A s**... meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The s**... notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the s**... asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off".
"Wow!" said the s**.... "What about the hook"?
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off."
"Incredible!" remarked the s**.... "How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked.
"Well..." said the pirate, "That was my first day with the hook."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Russian sailors decide to quit drinking,
but they still have a bottle of v**... left, and they refuse to let it go to waste, so one says:" Anatoli, i shall hold the bottle in one hand behind my back, if you can guess which one, we will drink it, if not, i will throw it overboard." They agree on this. The first sailor hides the bottle, the second guesses:"Left!"
"Keep guessing, Anatoli, keep guessing."
I think me life is like the Truman Show.
I was tryin' ta figure out what type a genre show it be.
I thought, "It might be a drama," but me life isn't sad enough.
I thought, "It might be an action tale," but alas, 'tis too boring.
"Then, perhaps, it be a comedy," I thought, but me life isn't funny, so I cast that idea overboard.
"Well," I thought, "it might be British."
The pirate and the sailor
A sailor walks into a bar and sees a pirate with a peg leg, a hook hand and an eye patch. His curiosity leads him to approach the pirate and ask, "Why do you have a peg leg?"
"I was washed overboard and a shark bit me leg off." the pirate responds.
"Okay," says the sailor, "but what about your hook hand?"
"Me first mate tried to kill me with his sword but only got me hand instead."
"Okay," says the sailor, "but what about your eye patch?"
"I was walking along the beach and a seagull pooped on me eye." the pirate explains.
"A seagull pooped your eye out?" the sailor asks incredulously.
"No," the pirate explains, "it was the first day with me hook."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...
The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.
The Russian takes a case of fine v**..., throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."
Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."
A pirate captain was telling his first mate how he got his injuries
First he points to his peg leg. "You see," he says, "I got thrown overboard in a terrible storm an' a great white shark bit off me leg before I could climb back up."
"That's amazing," the first mate replies, "and what happened to your hand?"
"We was boarding a ship to take its plunder an' I dueled the ship's captain. I bested him but not before he took me hand clean off. So I got a hook to replace it."
The first mate was only more impressed, "So what's the story behind the eyepatch?"
"A seagull pooped in me eye."
"That's all? You lost your eye because a seagull pooped in it?"
"Well, it was me first day with the hook."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the best part of s**... on a boat....
Just throw the dead body overboard when you're done.
I just rented a boat
I mean, I could have bought one, but I think that would be going a bit overboard.
Bob and Earl are fishing on a boat.
and Bob says "Yunno, I think I'm gonna divorce the wife, she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months."
Earl spits his dip overboard and takes a long swig of his beer with a casual exhale. "You should really think it over...Women like that are hard to find."
Two old Polish guys were talking about how tough their childhoods were...
"When I was a boy, my father taught me to swim the old fashioned way! He just took me out to the middle of a lake and threw me overboard!"
"Wow! That must have been scary!"
"Well, it was easy enough swimming back to shore, once I got myself out of that burlap sack."
Trump invites the Pope on his yacht...
The Popes hat blows off into the ocean so the Swiss guard and the secret service jump is trying to recover it but the current kept them away. So Trump says "I got it", and jumps overboard and walks across the water retrieves the hat and brings it back to the Pope.
CNN's headline the next day was "Trump Can't Swim!"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are on a boat in the middle of a lake...
The priest, remembering he forgot his phone on the shore, says he'll be right back. He hops overboard, and walks on water to the shore and back.
The minister, who also forgot an item on the shore, follows suit and jumps off the boat. He walks on the water there and back.
The rabbi, who did not forget anything, decides he will not be shown-up. He jumps off the boat, and sinks.
The priest turns to the minister and asks, "Should we tell him where the rocks are?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The woman who had never been s**....
A woman was standing on the deck of a cruiseship crying. A man passed by and asked why she was crying.
Woman: " This is my 40th birthday, I have no friends to celebrate with and as you can see I lost both my arms and legs in an accident when I was a child. And on top of that I've never been s**..., let alone been kissed."
The man picked her up, kissed her gently and looked her deep in the eyes and smiled... And tossed her overboard.
"There, now you've been s**...".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old pirate walks into a bar...
He had the whole package: pegleg, hook for hand and an eyepatch.
He gets some stares from the other guests as he takes his seat by the bar.
Eventually one of the guests dares to ask: "how did you lose your leg?"
"Arr I only fell overboard one time in me whole pirate career and that's when a shark bit me leg off." The pirate replies.
The guest keeps asking on and learns that he lost his hand in a swordfight.
And ofcourse finally he asks the pirate how he lost his eye.
To wich the pirate replies: "A seagull s**... in it."
Unsurprisingly this answer was met with a blank stare and ackward silence.
"Arr well" said the pirate eventually, "It was the same day I just got the hook..."
President Trump and Pope Francis on a cruise
President Trump and Pope Francis happen to run into each other while on an international cruise. It was quite a windy day out of the sea when the Popes hat flew off the ship and into the sea. President Trump immediately climbs overboard to fetch the Popes hat. In astonishment, the Pope looks overboard to see what just happened. He cannot believe what he sees. President Trump is not swimming, but walking on the water over to his hat. President Trump comes back to the Pope with the hat while he remained dry.
The media the next day came out with the following headline...
BREAKING NEWS: PRESIDENT TRUMP CAN NOT SWIM
So a pirate captain walked into my candy shop the other day...
And he asks me for a gumdrop. I say to him "Why would you want gum that's been dropped?"
"Sir," I say, "Wouldn't you rather have a candy fish?"
He says, "Candy fish? Is it sweet?"
And I say "Well... it's Swedish."
So now, the captain is so angry that he makes we walk the plank and I shout "Don't you think you're going a little overboard?!" And the pirate says, "No, *you* are!"
Before I jump, I ask him, "Can I just have one last mug of rootbeer?" And he says, "That would be fine." So I take the mug and jump... and you know? I would've drowned if it weren't for one thing...
>Rootbeer floats!<
I was going to tell a ship joke.
But I think it I would have gone a little overboard with it.
Americans treat their borders the same way as their soft drinks.
They go a little overboard with the ICE.
A man is at boating school, and is learning different phrases before he is allowed to work on a boat
The instructor asks him the first question, What do you say when a man has fallen off the boat.
The man energetically said, Man overboard!
The instructor has his next question ready, What do you say when a woman falls off the boat?
The man yet again states, Full speed ahead!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election
One says to the other: "Arrr matey, I'll give ye my clear glass eye if ye give me yer vote for captain tomorrow."
The other considers the proposal for a moment, then squeezes his fake wooden eye out of its socket, throws it overboard, spits on his hand and offers it to the first pirate.
"Arrr, an Aye for an eye it is, then."
Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.
Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.
As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.
"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."
"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."
I need to be able to remember this joke when I'm sober in the morning so I'll share it here.
I thought the pirates would throw me overboard when I was caught in bed with the captain's daughter.
But thankfully they let me off with a stern warning
A woman is giving birth on a boat
The baby comes out, but a sudden wave causes the boat to rock and the child is sent tumbling overboard into the ocean. The parents are horrified, until they see that the child is miraculously floating in the water, completely unharmed.
It's a buoy.
The stormy seafarer
One stormy evening, a seafarer was thrown overboard whilst passing through the strait of Dover. As luck would have it, the ocean currents pulled him unconscious to the English coastline, where he was found and revived by a man adorned in a cape, deerstalker hat and smoking a pipe.
When coming to and looking up, bleary eyed at the great, chalky White cliffs before him. The man exclaimed "What on earth is that wonderful rock formation", and his saviour replied "why, it's sedimentary my dear flotsam".
